Taehyung clenched his fists against his own hair, anxiety taking over him. He quickly went to his room to calm down from his bare minimum interaction with Yoongi. He decided to take a nice long shower to put him at more ease. He spent quite a while thinking in the shower. Thinking of all of the things he's done wrong. About where he really went wrong in life or with Yoongi. After that, he got out and he kept his towel on his hair to let it dry. He sulked his way to Jimin's room quietly, his soft feet pressing into his house shoes harshly.

Jimin is the person that Taehyung goes to for help most of the time. For things like this, at least. He's not even sure what he's going to say to Jimin. He just needed to be near him. Just needs someone to really talk to.

When he opened the door to Jimin's room, "Jiminie.." Taehyung looked up at Jimin, who was sitting on his bed, and then he froze. His hand squeezed the doorknob a little too hard so his hand slipped off and it made a loud clicking noise. Jimin shushed him frantically, as if Taehyung weren't meant to be there.

Taehyung looked down at Jimin. Yoongi himself was laid half beside him and half on top of him. Jimin had one hand on Yoongi's lower back and his other hand playing messily through Yoongi's hair. And then Taehyung really looked at Yoongi. "Hyung?" He frowns. He watched as Yoongi's arms tightened around Jimin. Heard the small hum come from him. Yoongi must had been sleeping. Suddenly Taehyung didn't know how to act.

Jimin shushed him once again, glaring up at his best friend. It should have hurt Taehyung that his best friend was shooing him out of his room, but it hurt him more knowing that Jimin didn't want him to be near Yoongi. To wake him up. To talk to him or do anything with him. It hurt because he knew that's what Yoongi wanted, for Taehyung to go away and for him to not try and talk to him.

That's what Taehyung wanted at first.

Taehyung was supposed to ignore Yoongi. He was supposed to stay away from him and stop being as clingy as he had been before. Taehyung was supposed to stay away from Yoongi for both of their sake. But, reality hit in. It fucking hurts to do just that. It hurts to force himself away from his hyung.

He took one last glance at Yoongi curled up into Jimin's arms and he turned away from the sight before softly closing Jimin's door, making sure not to wake up Yoongi. He didn't want his little hyung to wake up because of him. Didn't want to make Yoongi uncomfortable. Not anymore. Taehyung sighed to himself, his own voice ringing in the back of his head.

Idiot.

He slowly made his way back to his own room. Taehyung was so used to going to ARMY for comfort, scrolling Weverse or Twitter and laughing with them. He just couldn't do that recently. Not when he's screwing himself over like this. Not if he has to pretend he's fine with what he's doing to himself.

He's an idiot.

-

"This is the easiest dancing I think I've ever done." Seokjin announced to the rest of the boys. It is true. Dynamite is an easier choreography. Taehyung just wishes that practice would be over, though. He's used to seeing Yoongi on his phone. Yoongi always plops down into a seat after practice is over. Always turns his phone on and starts scrolling away on it. But this time was different.

  Taehyung wanted nothing more than to go and talk to him. If there was a small bridge between him and Yoongi before, there is now a much more severely extended version of it. It was as if the bridge now had an unavoidable barrier, which caused Taehyung to stumble over himself and question everything he does whenever he's merely near Yoongi.

  Yeah. That's what it felt like.

  He didn't want to say anything when they were filming the music video for Dynamite, either. His thoughts that was scrambled with doubts and pain were pushed to the side momentarily specifically for ARMYs. Specifically to make this music video something that makes them happy. And if he had to push away his own problems just for the sake of it, then so be it.

Yoongi seemed to have had the same mindset, because seeing his bright gummy smile was one of the things that was even keeping Taehyung going. It didn't matter if he was being ignored by him still, because Yoongi was smiling and he was joking around with the others. So, Taehyung was happy. It was a weird type of happy. Not the one that makes him feel happy for himself, just happy for Yoongi.

Taehyung plopped down into his seat after they were finished recording the video. He scrolled his own phone, trying his best not to notice Yoongi doing the same thing he was doing only a short thread away from him. At first he couldn't believe that Yoongi sat so close to him. Then he couldn't help but laugh at his phone at something he saw as he was trying to ignore the screaming in his heart.

Stan Twitter sure is an odd place. It's even funny most of the time, which is why Taehyung was on it. As he stared at his phone, the tweet in front of him made him smile.

[i cant believe yoongi and taehyung literally ARE IGNORING EACH OTHER IN IN THE SOOP!/?:!!/?/!/ JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER??????]

It's funny to Taehyung. When they were filming In The Soop, he and Yoongi weren't even ignoring each other. If anything, they probably didn't add in the show the time that they cuddled in Yoongi's bed. It's just ironic to Taehyung how these stans didn't know a single thing, yet it felt so relevant somehow.

"What're you laughing at?" Taehyung's eyes widened as Yoongi leaned over towards him. It took his brain a moment to realize he was even talking to him even at all. Yoongi's outfit looked so good. His hair was pulled to the side. It looked so good. His glasses. He looked too damn good for Taehyung to function now.

"I- It's Twitter?" Taehyung's statement came out as a question instead. Yoongi looked at Taehyung's phone screen, which Taehyung found hard to move in the moment. Yoongi frowned as he read the screen and only slightly scooted away from Taehyung.

Fuck.

Taehyung looked back at the screen, observing where he went wrong. The tweet had an added video to it, and it was very clearly showing Taehyung ignoring Yoongi.

Did I seriously do that? Taehyung stared at his screen and frowned. He turned to explain to Yoongi, but he was already gone. Of course he felt bad for ignoring Yoongi. Honestly he just had no clue why Yoongi was so upset by it besides the fact that he had lied to him. Other than that, why would Yoongi cry? Why would he have to cuddle Jimin of all people?

Why is Yoongi upset?

Taehyung was the one hurting. He's the one who chose to ignore Yoongi. He took the blame and he tried to set Yoongi aside to focus on himself for a while. Taehyung just doesn't understand it. Does Yoongi want this? Does he want Taehyung to suffer daily or what?

"You look constipated." Hoseok sat down next to Taehyung with a small smile. "What's up?" He asked. Taehyung didn't want to talk.

"Nothing." He lied. Everything's up.

Hoseok shook his head. "Looks like your little plan of ignoring Yoongi went to shit, huh?" Taehyung clenched his fists. Hoseok told him that it wouldn't be a good idea. He knew the reason that Taehyung started to ignore him. And he called Taehyung an absolute idiot the day Yoongi caught him in his web of lies.

He ended up not answering Hoseok. He just watched as Yoongi walked out of the building with Seokjin and Jungkook instead.

-

Taehyung's freshly dyed hair wasn't slicked back like it was in the shoot for Dynamite. And it wasn't as long or as fluffy as it was while filming In The Soop. He sort of missed having his pretty hair flopping everywhere, because now he just feels like a new person. But maybe that's what he needed. To be new.

  He stared into his mirror in his bedroom, trying to figure out where he had gone wrong. Instead, he ended up tearing up because of the loss of his previous hair. Not because he loved that hair so much, but because he felt like nothing about him was real anymore. Like he was changing faster than he could think.

  "What's up?" Hoseok had asked him.

  What's up? What's up. Everything. Everything in Taehyung's life has changed. That's what's up. He sat in front of his mirror and stared back into his own brown eyes. His face had grown more mature looking. The look in his eyes were different now than they were a few years ago. They held new emotions, more experience. They held pain. They held happiness, they held grief, and love.

  Taehyung felt like he had grown so much, yet he felt so far away from that. If he was any more mature now than he was before, then he should've learned by now that he wasn't falling on his own in this world. He didn't just happen to fall off the deep end. No. He pushed himself off. Nobody else did. And he should've known better than to push himself like that.

  "Looks like your little plan of ignoring Yoongi went to shit, huh?"

  He hates the way Hoseok was right. The hole in his stupid heart wasn't going to just heal up on its own. Taehyung did it to himself. Of course he had his reason to ignore him.

  Stupid.

  He's absolutely stupid. Taehyung will never stop pushing himself off the deep end. But one thing he realized as he sat and stared at himself for countless seconds was that even though he is the only one who can push himself off the edge, he's also the only one who can catch himself as well. Only he can save himself.

  Taehyung stood up from his bedroom floor, stopping himself from looking into his body mirror. His first thought was did I really just tear up over hair? and his second thought was I need to talk to Yoongi. He needs to stop. Needs to stop pretending and needs to stop hurting himself, stop hurting Yoongi, stop hurting the members and just.. stop.

  He turned on his own light, which he had realized wasn't on. The darkness had been one of the things swallowing him whole as he stared at the mirror. Next, he made his way to his bed and searched for his phone. When that task was accomplished, he finally inhaled deeply and turned it on. Here it goes.

  His wallpaper peered back at him. He grimaced and finally went to his messages to find Little Hyung sitting there prettily.

  -hyung

  He got no instant reply, but the message was read. After a few seconds, a message popped up. It made Taehyung's heart race.

  -Yeah..?

  -can u please come to my room
  -im tired of this hyung

  He deleted the latter message and threw his phone to the side, not expecting another message to come back. Instead, he was waiting, expecting his door to swing open and for Yoongi to maybe have Jimin be sent to his room to attack him instead of Yoongi.

  That never happened.

  His door did open, rather slowly instead of harshly as he has expected. Yoongi was always calm and gentle. Taehyung's heart still raced, worried that Yoongi would never forgive him for their next or maybe last conversation. Yoongi walked in quietly. It was obvious that he was tired of all of this as well. That they needed to end whatever this was.

  "Come sit." Taehyung flattened out his blankets on his bed. Yoongi glanced up at him, and only then did Taehyung realize that Yoongi had his head hanging low. He was already in sweatpants and a big sweater, which looked like it may have been Namjoon's. When he started to walk forward, he became a lot more awkward and out of place.

  Taehyung loves that about Yoongi.

  He loves how real he is. Min Yoongi was never fit for the role of a star. He was more fit for being a guardian angel, someone who looks over without being seen. Someone who Taehyung believes was made just for world.

  Yoongi finally sat down in the designated spot right in front of Taehyung. As much as he wanted to sit and explain everything that was going on through his own mind, he decided to just get straight to the point first.

  "I love you." Taehyung sat with his legs crossed and his hands not knowing where to go. Yoongi nodded at his statement with an 'I know' and so Taehyung shook his head, his hands finally finding a place to settle down, playing with his own hair nervously. "No, hyung. I'm in love with you." He said.

  Yoongi's eyes widened in surprise, his back straightening out as he looked up at Taehyung. Taehyung lowered his own head in anxiousness. He knew that Yoongi would never get mad at him for this. Taehyung just had the fear of being rejected and embarrassed.

  "I know.." Taehyung frowned. "And I- I didn't really think we were on the same page the other day. You said- You said you understood why I was ignoring you. That it was okay if I didn't like you anymore." He stuttered his own words, feeling Yoongi's eyes on him.

"Wait—"

"I know I'm clingy." Taehyung cut him off, curling up into his own heart as he kept speaking, couldn't stop speaking. He felt like a flowing river just spitting out words as fast as Agust D does. "And I knew you wouldn't like knowing that I'm in love with you." He chuckled breathlessly to himself. "My chest.. My heart feels all nice and warm when I'm near you. It feels so good to just be near you, hyung. I know- I- I was being selfish the day we fell asleep in your bed." His whole body felt like it was on fire. His confession hurt. "I felt like comforting you was something I was meant to do that day. I came to your room because I just wanted to be next to you, but then you were crying a-and I love you. I don't want to see you crying, so I .. was selfish."

But he's pushing himself off right now. He's getting ready to catch himself after this. Getting ready to catch himself from falling.

"It's love." Taehyung repeated. "And I know it is because it hurts. And I didn't want you to be uncomfortable or feel like you have to tend to a little kid with a crush or something. So I- I ignored you, and I'm sorry. But now you know. And now I—" don't know what to do.

Shit.

He was supposed to push himself off the edge and then catch himself. Where the fuck did his hand go? Why is he not catching himself?

Tears streamed from his eyes as he fell further and further. "I'm sorry, hyung."

Yoongi. Yoongi reached for Taehyung's cheek and he wiped away his tears for him. He took Taehyung's hands away from destroying his own hair and he whispered a little 'It's okay' and 'Don't apologize, Tae'. Taehyung looked up into Yoongi's eyes. He was leaning forward, holding onto Taehyung gently.

Yoongi caught Taehyung.

"Hey." Yoongi smiled once he realized Taehyung was finally looking back at him. Taehyung calmed down finally, his breathing evening out and becoming slower as Yoongi's thumb slid across his cheek. "I'm in love with you too, idiot. Why- You could've just told me this sooner.." Yoongi's voice felt like he was breaking as well. Taehyung really looked at him. He really took it all in.

Yoongi loves me?

  His world was most definitely ten times brighter than a few seconds before. His heart and head both clashed together at the 'I'm in love with you too,' and he replaced the idiot part with silence. Yoongi loves him.

  He's in love with him.

He looked at Yoongi's soft skin, the way his glowing face shined even brighter than before. His eyes didn't look like they had lately. They looked a lot more happier. Relieved. Yoongi is in love with Taehyung. He feels the same.

  His black hair was hanging in front of his forehead, which Taehyung had seen a lot of recently. He reached up his own hands and pressed his palms to Yoongi's cheeks softly. Before he knew it, he pulled Yoongi forward. Nothing too intense. Not too much. Just enough to press his lips against his. Enough to feel, but neither of them moved. Just lips to lips, heart to heart. Taehyung wanted to cry with joy. He had wanted to kiss Yoongi for so long. All these years. All this time.

He pulled away, then pecked Yoongi's cheek before he rested his forehead against Yoongi's shoulder. His heart was full. So full that he didn't know what to do with it.

"I'm so sorry I lied to you." He whispered and then dove into Yoongi's neck, pressing his lips there for a moment. "I'm so sorry." He said again. He wrapped his arms around Yoongi's waist and pulled him, wanting to feel Yoongi in his lap again. Where he belonged. Yoongi gave in, letting Taehyung pull him forward.

Yoongi straddled Taehyung and wrapped his own arms around Taehyung's neck as Taehyung held tighter onto him. Maybe Yoongi felt the same way. Being so connected felt so right. All of this felt so good. Amazing.

"Hyung." Taehyung whispered.

"Yeah?" Yoongi's voice was so gentle. Everything he did was just so sweet. Like honey. Taehyung smiled softly.

"Mine?" He asked, pressing his nose into Yoongi's skin. "Be mine? Will you?" He could feel Yoongi's body lighten up. Taehyung could tell what Yoongi wanted and didn't want. Yoongi nodded his head and pulled Taehyung's head away from his neck.

He smiled into Taehyung's eyes. Yoongi looked so breathtaking. Taehyung couldn't help but smile back. He couldn't help but press his lips back into Yoongi's. This kiss was a lot more touchy, a lot more free and exploring. He kissed Yoongi like he meant it. His hand rested against his cheek, pulling him into the kiss even more. He sucked at his bottom lip only to feel Yoongi squirm as he placed his hand against Yoongi's upper thigh.

"God, Taehyung." Yoongi broke from the kiss just to catch his breath. "Of course." He pressed his lips onto Taehyung again, whining as Taehyung grabbed his waist instead. Taehyung moved his kisses to Yoongi's jaw, earning little pants from the older. "Yours." Yoongi whined helplessly as Taehyung bit into Yoongi's neck, making sure to not leave a mark on Yoongi's delicate skin.

"Pretty." Taehyung smiled as he backed away from the older. "You're so pretty."

Yoongi pouted, his eyebrows furrowing a little when Taehyung pulled away from him. "Can we cuddle now?" He smiled shyly. "We can talk more tomorrow. I'm tired from filming today and I just... let's cuddle." He said.

Taehyung's ears perked up. That sounded like heaven. "Cuddle?" He asked, his voice going up a pitch. He remembers how jealous he felt when he saw Yoongi cuddling Jimin the other day. "I'll cuddle you for forever, little hyung." He tapped Yoongi's thigh, signaling for him to get off so that they could cuddle in his bed.

They got in the most comfortable position ever for cuddling. They were content as they breathed in each other's scents, Yoongi facing Taehyung and wrapping his arms around him. Taehyung never wanted to let go. He pulled up his blanket and covered them up.

"We'll tell the boys tomorrow?" Yoongi asked, humming into Taehyung's chest.

Taehyung nodded and kissed the top of Yoongi's head. "If you want, baby." He smirked as Yoongi stiffened under him. "Anything you want. I'll do anything you want, baby."

~
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