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I followed him up the fancy staircase, curiosity bursting inside me. As soon as reached the second floor, he started walking towards his left with long, confident strides. I try to catch up to him and soon I settle on a slow jog instead of walking. By then, I had realized that I wouldn't be able to keep up with him and his long strides.

He stopped in front of a baby pink door and along with him so did my heartbeat. The door looked so out of place with the dark colours and theme surrounding it. I knew what was behind that door. If they haven't changed, the door means nothing has been changed inside. And I feared that if I went inside, I would break down. Everything I am trying to hold back would overflow like water out of a flooded river.

"Open it," Octavian ordered. His voice was sharp and assertive. I could not pinpoint what he was trying to do. Here I was on the brink of hyperventilating, but he was adamant about me seeing that room. He was either blind or just wanted to see me suffer for what I did.

My shaky hand reached out and landed on the golden doorknob. Taking a deep, shaky breath and I turned it and dared to open it. My breathing was fast as I looked inside. The room mostly looked the same. But the paint looked fresh, the mirrors changed and the decor renewed. The ceiling no longer looked like it was from the 19th century and one of the walls was substituted with floor-length windows that overlooked the backyard. The vanity was beside the mirror, bulbs lining the edge of the mirror on the vanity. Natural sunlight flooded through the room.

I took a few steps forwards, taking a look around. My old portable ballet barre was pushed against the wall in front of the mirrors. There were a few boxes stacked in one of the corners. The baby pink walls soothed my anxious mind. I looked around and one thing caught my eyes. Pointe shoes.

I did not wear pointe shoes till I was eleven and they looked like the first pair I had. I looked behind me to see Octavian leaning against one of the walls, studying me.

"Are those my pointe shoes?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowed.

He hesitated for a moment or two but replied anyway, "Yes they are."

I looked at him, expecting an explanation but his expressions said that that was all he was going to provide me with. I sighed and continued looking around. In the end, I knelt down near the chair in front of the vanity and my hands landed on the box that lay there in the corner. "May I?" I asked, seeking Octavian's permission before I opened the box.

"Go ahead," he said and continued observing me. I opened the box slowly, scared of what was in there but a gasp escaped me as soon as my eyes laid on shimmering tiaras. There weren't many but I did not fail to recognize the five to six tiaras I had won when I was here with them.

These little accessories brought back numerous memories from the past competitions. How my dad would be there for every competition, every recital, every concert. He never missed any. He used to remind him of a little angel whenever he saw me dance on the stage under the spotlight. I remember that he was the happiest looking man every time I won a title.

Back then I was young, still a kid. A kid who didn't do much to appreciate the love showered upon her by her father and then as a teenager, I would have given anything to have that love and warmth of a father back. But it was long gone and it seemed like I was stuck in a cold hell where my safe heaven was kilometres away with no way back.

I did not realize that I have been crying until I saw a drop of tear on the shining stone of the tiara I held in my hands. I swiftly wiped it away and blink away the ones that were accumulated in my waterline, ready to fall.

"Why did you keep it? This room. Clearly, nobody dances here anymore, this room isn't renovated as the whole house. It looks out of place. Why would you keep it?" I asked, looking at Octavian who looked deep in thought. I was sitting on the floor with my back resting against the wall while Octavian stood leaning against the opposite wall, arms folded as an intimidating, scary aura surrounded him.

"After you and Eleanore left, it was a steep descent for dad. He would rarely ever come down to hang out with us. He still was a great dad, always there when we needed him, he attended the games and did everything he could do to make us feel like we didn't lose Eleanore. But we were kids and failed to realize that he had been suffering inside.

"We could see that your absence affected him but we didn't know the intensity. He would work his way through the day, overworking in my opinion and then at night after we went to bed he would spend his time in your room or your dance room. Going through pictures, videos and stuff like that.

"Your leave affected him more than Eleanore's. He would try to hide it to his best ability, trying to stay strong for us but sometimes he wouldn't be secretive enough and you would be able to hear him talk or cry as you walk past his room or your room mostly. I heard him, on numerous occasions, begging Eleanore to let him see you or talk to you. Since then, deliveries started arriving every three or four months from an anonymous address. It always had little things that belonged to you. It always had a note threatening us to stop contacting you but it never stopped.

"We kept this room as well as yours for him. All this meant a lot to him so we couldn't bring ourselves to the rooms he spent so much time in." he finished. By now, I felt like I could burst from holding my sobs and tears in. It all was too much, the guilt, the anger, the sadness. It was just getting too much to hold in.

I took in a shaky breath as I mumbled, "I just wish I could have talked to him before he..." died. I couldn't bring myself to say that word. I wasn't ready to accept the fact that I will never be able to see him ever again. My chest constricted every time I thought about it.

"You could have, you had the chance," Octavian said. His usually emotionless cold voice had a tinge of resentment and sadness in it. And I didn't blame him for it.

"You don't understand Mr. Crawford, I didn't have a choice," I muttered, looking back down at the box in my lap.

"You had a choice, Astria. You always have a choice," he said, his voice firm. With that he stood up straight and walked out of the room without another word, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I was left staring at the tiara that was clutched in my hands. This time I did not hold my tears back. I let flow as they fell down, drop by drop, tainting the tiaras. I couldn't stop them, I couldn't stop the tears from falling and I couldn't stop the guilt and sadness from taking over me.

I recklessly threw the tiara in the box, quickly walked out of the room while pulling my hoodie. I furiously wiped away my tears as they kept falling, I couldn't stop them anymore. Bursting into my room, I realized that I had startled Sky. I let out a few curses and closed the door as I gathered her in my arms.

Bouncing her a little, I walked inside the closet, locking it behind me. Sitting down in the furthermost corner, I caress Sky's fur. This usually calms her down. By now, small sobs were escaping me. I couldn't stop the guilt from spreading. My heart ached for my family.

They've gone through so much and half of it is my fault. My sobs were now loud and heart-breaking. Sky's little whimpers joined my sobs. My heart ached for Octavian, who had to hear his father beg and watch him slowly break down. I can't even start to imagine how hard it would be for him to watch the person he looked up to break down into a shell.

He had to grow up at a young age just so he could look after his younger siblings, he didn't have the carefree teenage years where he would party and the only worry he would have would be where to study but instead, he was worrying if his brothers were happy, all the weight of taking care of the younger brothers was on him.

Dorian was the closest to our dad as far as I remember, I cried for him. No one should have to watch the person they idolize break down. All the good times he spent with dad was gone. And in the end was all my fucking fault. No wonder he hates me. His elder brother, always caring for the twins, so again he was left all alone, with no one to guide him or help him.

The twins lost both parents at such a young age. Mom left, dad died. They never experienced what it was like to have a parent who would stand with them as they took the major decisions when they turned eighteen. I took all that love, affection and support from them.

In the end, the only thing I've been trying to avoid was Dad. I couldn't admit it. I don't think I would have the courage to admit it out loud or even apologize to the boys but deep down, deep down I know that all that has happened to him is my fault. I'm scared to admit it to myself but in the end, there's no denying that his death is my fault.

My tears never stopped neither did Sky's whimpers. But soon they slowed down as I closed my eyes, resting my head against the wall of the closet, I let out a sigh. Sky snuggled closer to me and into my body warmth. Small sniffles escaped me as I let exhaustion take over me.

I woke up to rapid knocks on the closet door and Sky's small barks. I shushed her down and said, "I'm coming, wait a second." I stand back in front of the mirror and realize that my eyes were puffed and my nose was red. Dried tear trails were on my red cheeks and my hair was a bird's nest. I sighed and opened the closet door letting Sky out.

I quickly exit the closet and stepped foot in the bathroom before Zane could stop me. I locked the door behind and washed my face as soon as I could, freshened up and walked out. The sight that greeted me warmed my heart. Sky was running and yipping around Zane as he knelt down to pet Sky.

A small smile crept onto my face as I cleared my throat, alerting them of my presence. "Astria," Zane acknowledged as the smile never left his face. I Gave a small smile back. His smile suddenly dimmed as a dark look overtook his eyes but he quickly masked it. With concern.

"Are you alright?" He asked, his voice sincere.

"Yeah, I'm ok," I said, nodding for an extra measure. His eyes did not leave me as I fiddled with my thumbs, shrinking under his gaze. "Why- why are you here?" I asked, in an effort to change the subject.

He continued eyeing me for a moment or two before he answered, "The tour, remember?" He asked raising his eyebrows.

"I do," I said. I looked at him, in the eyes, I finally had the courage. But the pain hidden under the emotions of mirth and joy made me look away. I couldn't look into their eyes seeing the pain I caused.

"Come with me," He said, as he walked out of the room. I heaved out a sigh and followed him with Sky on my heels.

"It's no problem right?" I asked, gesturing towards Sky, who was happy to finally be out of the one-room she was in for the whole day. I could see Zane melt right there while looking at Sky who was wagging her tail with a head tilted a little.

"Nope, there can't be a problem with this cute little pup," he said, a small smile on his face while he looked at Sky with adoration. A smile crept onto my face as well as we continued. "So, I think you remember where our rooms were?" he asked and I nodded.

"Also, you might have gathered by now that we didn't really change the rooms, just the theme and decor were changed." Again, I nodded. We walked down the hall to the right of my room, towards the living room. But instead of going downstairs, we remained on the first floor.

"The rooms here, above the living room are vacant but are kind of taken as well. Like wherever our cousins, aunts and uncles come over they stay here, in these rooms. The same goes for the Dawsons and Abernathys, if they ever want to stay over or their children do, they stay in one of these rooms." I looked around, the hallway was plain, but gave a sense of elegance as we walked through them. On the other side of the hallway were glass railings and you could see the living from there.

"Now, after those rooms end, these are the siblings' rooms. The one in the middle is Zion's, then on the left is Dorian's, infront of him is mine. Beside mine, it's your room and in front of your's is Octavian's. It's in the age-wise order, so Octavian, then Dorian, Zion, me and then you, the baby of the family," He snickered.

A frown took over my face as I grumbled, "Not a baby," But his words definitely warmed my heart.

A chuckle escaped him as he turned around, "Now the rooms on the other side of the staircase are for random spontaneous guests, also if extended family come. Cause the family is huge and those few rooms aren't enough for them," He said and I smiled.

The whole tour Zane tried making jokes, some of which were really bad but the others did make me smile or chuckle a little. In the end, we stood in the backyard with Sky running around us, yipping and barking in joy. It was around nighttime and the sun had already set. The glow from the lamposts reflected off of Zane's tanned skin as he knelt down, petting Sky.

"You guys have a done a beautiful job with the house," I murmured. And it was true, the whole house looked straight out of a magazine with the spacious and bright rooms and the well-kept back yard and pool and the fireplace as well. The whole house was amazing and up to their standards.

"Not us, only Dorian. Dorian wanted to design the house. So, instead of an interior designer, Vian asked Dorian. That idiot was over the moon. We all got to decorate our own rooms, just sticking to the theme and we designed our own rooms but the rest of the house was by Dorian," He said, smiling a little.

A smile bloomed on my face as well. "I think we should go inside, get freshened up, the dinner will be ready any second now. We try to have at least one meal of the day together." He informed.

"Okay then. I think you should go ahead. I will let Sky run around a bit more, it's the first time she's been out since yesterday night, so I'll her have some extra time," I replied and he nodded.

He walked away, but before he could disappear inside the house, he said, loud enough for me to hear clearly, "It's great to have you here, Astria."

I looked at him, in his eyes, again and smiled a little. This time there was only happiness and hope. The same hope I had in my eyes. Maybe living here wouldn't be so bad, maybe we will be able to mend our relationship after all.

***

A/N

So, that was the fourth chapter. A piece of the sibling's past came to light. So, yeah. I hope you liked this chapter!

Who is your favourite character till now?

Do think Octavian was right about astria having a choice?

Do we like Zane🥺?

If you enjoyed this chapter please vote and comment and tell about your favourite part of this chapter! Follow me for updates on 'Arcane!'

~Ash