not edited

I delivered all the letters to the brothers before stepping into my room and sitting down in front of my desk. I picked up my phone and opened Esai and my text chain.

(Italics: Astria
Underline+Italics: Esai
Bold+Italics: Aaron)

'You guess?'

'It's been almost 48 hours, I was worried that something happened to you on your way back.'

'I was alright till I got home, just some crazy stuff happened last night and the night before that. I didn't have the chance to even pick up my phone.'

A couple minutes passed and all I saw were the dots dancing in the little bubble indicating that he was typing. It suppose it's a long message.

'Does it have something to do with your father by any chance?'

'It did, how did you know?'

'I think you keep forgetting but your family is quite famous. There were various news channels covering this topic. So, I deduced a little and hoped I was right.'

'Well, you were after all.'
'I was not home yesterday and got stuck because of the snowstorm. My phone died and I had literally no way to contact anybody.'
'I'm really sorry for making you worry.'

'You were safe right?'

'Yeah, I was with my second eldest brother.'

'Oh that's nice then.'

'Yeah,'
'Anyways how's your sister? Is she alright?'

'Yeah I got there in time and rushed her to the hospital. The doctor said she'll be fine but we need to up her dosage.'
'

Anyways I gotta go, I'll see you tomorrow morning, extra dance practice. Be there at 10'

Before I could reply to him, a notification pops up stating that Aaron had sent me a message. I quickly open his text, unintentionally leaving Esai on read.

'I can see that you're online, why wouldn't you answer? I've been really worried, messaging, calling and everything in between but you can't even reply so that Ik that you're alright.'

'I'm alright Aaron'
'You don't need to worry. Yk that yesterday was my dad's death anniversary. I was busy with that'

'Yeah I knew and that's why I tried reaching out to you. I remember you telling me how difficult it has been coming to terms with your dad's demise. I just wanted to be with you and help you with all the baggage you had yesterday.'

'I didn't really think you'd remember it,'

'It was an important conversation. You opened up to me and trusted me, how could I not?'

'Enough about that, you're alright right?'

'I'll be fine soon,'

'Soon? Do you want to talk? Should I come over? Your brothers know me, it should be fine,'

'I would really love to talk but I can't have you over'
'I'm grounded'

'It has barely been 2 months Astria'

'

Don't make it worse for me'

'Alright I'm sorry'

'We'll talk in school then tomorrow?'

'

Tomorrow's Sunday'
'And I have morning practice with Esai'
'Shit, I kept him waiting on read'
'Stay online, I'll be back'

I quickly jump back and reply to Esai's message, saying that I'll be there on time and return to my chats with Aaron

'Astria, I have said this once and I'll say it again. Be careful around him. He just doesn't give me good vibes and I want you to be safe.'

'

You've never met him before. You can't judge him based on what I've told you.'

'Ik guys like him. You only talk good about him. Seems pretty possible that he's been manipulating you into thinking he's good,'

'I talk good things about almost everyone around me,'

'Not like you do with him'

'I've observed you and the way you talk about him worries me. He sounds too good to be true. Polite, doesn't talk to a lot of girls but is super good to you, has a little sister and still doesn't talk to girls. Pretty sure he should be excellent with girls if he has a younger sister yk, and then he offers to stay with you but in the exact moment his sister has an epileptic seizure.'
'A perfect sob-story to catch a girl's attention, make her like you more because you seem very varying and lovable and human. And I don't believe that you don't find it weird how the day you practice late and he offers to stay with you but at the exact time his sister needs him. It would make him seem a gentleman to offer but why would he want to miss anything for a girl he met like a month ago. So he has someone call saying his "sister" needs him.'
'You're really beautiful Astria, you have an amazing personality but you're not familiar with the sly ways of guys.'

'You're writing paragraphs over a guy you've never met,'

'I'm Highlighting the red flags I'm seeing, but hey as you said I don't him at all. 
I'm speaking from experience, I've seen guys do this shit to woo girls and then hurt them. 
I don't want you to be one of those girls'
'You're too pure to be like them'

'I'll think it over'
'Anyways, I need to go, Octavian's calling'

'Take care,
Good night'

'<3'

Aaron's observations have put me deep in thought. He understood stuff from a guy's perspective that I couldn't and I felt I could trust him because well, Dorian took responsibility for him when he moved here and Lydia and others have been with him and if they say he's a good guy I have some background information on what kind of a person he is. I don't know anything about Esai. 

I push against the back of my chair and let my head hang over the edge. 

This is too tiring.

I never thought that just talking to a guy would be this much work. Why can't I just talk to someone without having to worrying about what his ulterior motives may be? Why do I need to look out for the bad guys lurking in the shadows waiting for a chance to pouce?

This is not fair.

***

The next day was again a beautiful one but unlike it my mental state and mood wasn't. I was grounded, had questions about a guy whom I had gotten pretty close to and not to mention everything going on with the brothers.

I trudged downstairs with my dance bag slinged around my torso as I hear Zion's voice, "Don't leave without having breakfast."

"I won't," I called out. Looking back at the past few months, I came to realize that my eating habits had gotten much healthier. But I had put on a little extra weight. Lydia said I look pretty but I somehow can't see it. But I like having regular meals, it keeps me energized, makes me feel responsible and like a normally functioning teen even when I'm not. It's surprising how the little steps you take everyday can bridge the path across a chasm called emptiness to a cliff called happiness. Eventhough I'm not there yet, I know my bridge is under construction.

I quietly nibbled on my toast when I felt four pairs of eyes keenly watching me. Trying to ignore them I continued silently but their stares get too much so my head snapped up. I look at each of them with narrowed eyes. Dorian, Zion and Zane look away the moment our eyes meet but Octavian doesn't, of course. 

"What?" I asked, dragging the word a little and making it seem like I was whining. Octvian remained quiet and I let out a sigh. I went back to finishing my toast. Once everyone was done with their breakfast, Octavian stood up.

"Come with me, I'll drop you," I nodded in response before hugging the other three goodbye. I exchanged a few words with Zane about my upcoming competition before leaving with Octavian.

"You know, you eat like a little chipmunk," He muttered as we pulled out of the driveway.

I scoff, "Is that why everyone was staring?"

He shrugged, swerving the car to the right, "It's cute,"

I felt red creep up my neck and cover my face as I looked at the dance studio in the distance. I had gotten quite close with the brothers and Octavian had started talking more which seemed like such a tedious task when we first met.

Octavian pulled into the driveway of the dance studio. He stopped but didn't unlock the car, "Astria, thank you for getting the letters yesterday. Even though no one mentioned them today, I can tell you how much it meant to all of us. And not just that, all of your little actions and when you take care of us in the subtlest ways possible, we cannot express how much it all means to us. Our lives changed for the better when you shifted here and you changed a lot around the boring and dull mansion our home once used to be. Now there's a smiling and innocent face among us, lighting up the dark halls. We are grateful to have you here," 

I kept quiet, a solemn expression on as I processed Octavian's words. I never thought much about my life since I moved here. But how Octavian said, puts my and their lives into perspective. I feel my heart full of love that I've given and received back. I've never experienced this much appreciation for something that I've done and it's a great feeling. I love them and how they treat me. I love how they actually see me as a person. They don't make me work my ass off. They let me do what I want but they also take care of me. I love the feeling of not having a burden to carry. 

I quietly undid my seat belt and immediately wrapped my arms around his neck. He caught me by my waist, holding me close. I savored the feeling of warmth and care that Octavian radiates without trying. I sat there for a minute, just letting myself come to terms with all the happiness, adoration and care I was met with since I came here. "Thank you for making my life better," I whispered.

As I pulled back, I saw that Octavian's guard was down, he had a light smile on his face. He kissed my temple, "We are ready to do anything for you. You just have to say the word," He muttered. 

In that moment, I did not care about how scary my family was, how broken we were or how wealthy we were. A I cared about is that we were together, we loved each other and we were ready to do anything for each other.

I smiled.

•••

NO A/N THIS TIMEEEEE

toodles

~Ash