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My eyes widened at the intrusion in my room as Ana's head snapped back to gaze open mouthed at Octavian who now has his eyes narrowed at both of us. He advances towards us as I squeeze Ana's hand. I am the shitiest liar ever so it was out of question to try and come up with a lie, Octavian would catch it straight up and it scared me. I didn't want to know what the consequences of lying to him would be.

Ana's face snapped back to me, wide eyes and asking me to do it. Her eyes sharply moved to Octavian, motioning me to tell him about what's going on. I didn't want to. I didn't trust them enough yet to tell him about my worst days. I don't think they have accepted me enough to know what has happened. They still don't like me that much and if they find out about my pathetic actions, they would just ship me back to my old home.

I wanted more time with them, so that's why I lightly shook my head to Ana before turning back to Octavian, "Nothing,' I said, gulping lightly. I looked anywhere but his eyes while Ana just sighed silently.

"I know you're lying, Astria," He said, taking up and chair and sitting down on the other side of the bed, "Why don't we try again? With more truth this time," he said. His cold blue eyes narrowed at me, glaring. This is what I was afraid of. He looked so intimidating and scary and angry and unfortunately, this time, his anger was aimed towards me. I would have rather not been the aim but her I was. "Miss Collins," Octavian addressed the lady sitting right beside me, holding my hand for emotional support, "You wouldn't mind waiting outside for a little, would you?" he asked. It was posed as a question but it was clear as day that Octavian was ordering her to leave.

My eyes snapped to Ana who was giving me a sympathetic smile. It did little to soothe my nerves as I felt my chest tighten. My grip around her hand tightened as I pleaded with my eyes. I didn't want to be left alone with an angry Octavian when his anger was directed towards me. She just tried to free her hand while muttering, "You'll be fine. He's your brother. It's going to be alright," She said, while she softly rubbed my back.

"Can't she stay here, please?" I asked Octavian. His hard expression did not change at my terrified face which shocked me. I was a little sure that maybe Octavian would be softer on me considering his behaviour with me for the past few days but he was definitely not having it. My eyes widened a bit and my bottom lip stuck out unintentionally, "Please?" I asked, this time my voice sounded more desperate and it was quite pathetic but if it helped in persuading Octavian, I am not complaining.

He took in a deep breath, closing his eyes as if trying to calm himself down. His jaw clenched as his hands fisted. "Fine," he gritted out. I knew my antics were making him angrier but he wouldn't do anything when his employee is present, right? But I still sighed at his response, relieved as Ana settled down in the armchair again, still holding my hand, which I greatly appreciated.

"Now, Astria, what is going on that you don't want me to know?" he asked, looking right into my eyes. His electrifying blue eyes held mine with an emotion so strong, it was hard to pull away. I didn't want him to know. I could not tell him. Ever. He didn't need to know it so he wasn't going to know it.

"Like I said, it's nothing," I muttered, this time more firmly.

"Then why did you need Miss Collins in here with you?" He asked.

Well, you see, about that. I don't really have an answer. I jut stare at him blankly, trying to think of a valid reason. After a moment or two of pure silence, Octavian raises his left eyebrow, prompting me to answer and increasing my pressure.

"Because you scare me," I blurted out. My eyes widened at my own response as I cowered a little.

"I know that," He said, calmly this time My eyes widened more at his response. I definitely wasn't expecting that but ok. "But are you that afraid that you can't stay with me in the same room alone?" he asked. His tone and expression said that he knew the answer. He knew what my response was going to be but I could still see a sliver of hope behind his guarded eyes. I felt absolutely terrible doing this, but he will get over it, I can make it up to him by staying in the room with him sometimes and stuff like that but if he knows what happened there, that will be irreversible.

"Yes," I whispered, "I don't want to be alone in a room with you when you're angry." I could not look into his eyes and see the effect of my words. It could be worse if I told him what happened. There were moments of silence that made me question my choice. Fearing the aftermath, I slowly peeked up and regretted my decision. I could see the hurt behind Octavian's eyes and him trying to compose himself. I could feel his anger but he was trying to cover it up knowing that it always scared me.

He had been amazing for the past week, always trying to show as much emotion as possible, being all soft and making small talk, initiating conversation, all in all trying. I just washed over all his efforts in like two seconds. It took me two seconds to destroy the path we've walked on for the past couple of days.

"Alright," he said, composing himself. His voice was back to his cold and hard self. "Miss Collins can stay but you need to tell me what is going on," he said, looking directly at me.

"I thought we just went over this, it's nothing," I said. I don't know from where I was getting this confidence from, I hadn't taken my medicine since morning and I wasn't under the influence of any kind of drugs. Guess I did feel comfortable with him, I just hope he can catch on.

"Zane did mention a couple unusual scars on you arms and legs, some on your face," He said, alarming me, "It is all related, is it not?" he asked. I could feel my breaths getting shorter and shorter. I knew they could have seen it in the hospital but since no one brought it up, I was hoping that they didn't notice them.

I controlled my expressions, I can't give it away. He just knows about the scars and I can make anything up to try to hide the real reason, "Well, you know me," I started slowly, looking at my lap, "I'm just a clumsy girl, it's not new for me to just get a small cut here and there," I muttered.

"A small here and there isn't how one would describe the sizable scar on the inside of your right arm," he said. That scar brought back horrible memories, I never realized how scared I was of my own mom. Well, that's not quite true. She is a great woman, when she wasn't drunk or on drugs.

I clenched my eyes shut, "I just said it was nothing, stop it please," I muttered softly. I knew he heard me, but he still kept going. He saw how difficult it was for me to speak about this topic but he still kept fucking going.

"Does it have something to do with Eleanore?" He asked, ignoring my pleads. He overlooked my request again. But something snapped inside me when he mentioned my mom. He was treading too close for my liking. He was pushing me, prodding me to explode. And I did. I couldn't help it, he was bringing up memories I wanted to leave behind. I wanted to remember the happy moments I had with her.

"Stop it," I shouted, my voice breaking. I opened my eyes and saw Octavian taken aback from my outburst with blurred vision. "I asked you to drop it, just leave it where it is. Why do you keep on pressing when I don't want to talk about it?" I asked in a broken voice. Tears were threatening to spill right out of my eyes but I held it in as Ana softly rubbed my back, trying to soothe.

"Why won't you tell me?" He asked. Ana looked taken aback with the amount of emotion that seeped into the words that fell out of Octavian's lips.

"Because I don't trust you enough," I snapped. I was too far gone to be reeled back by fear, I was letting almost everything out, "You can't force me talk about anything while accusing our mom. I'll talk about it when I feel comfortable. Stop forcing me." Octavian kept silent after my outburst before wordlessly standing up and walking to the door.

"I'll be in my office if you need me. Miss Collins, please inform me when you leave," he said and walked out of the room. Big fat tears rolled down my eyes that I had been holding back. Strings of profanities spilled out of my mouth as Ana gathered me in her arms. I sobbed my heart out all the while I was ranting out my entire life to her. She just held me, telling me how strong I was and how she was proud of me.

After I had calmed down Ana handed me a glass of cool water. She sat back in the armchair while I slumped against the headrest. "So, about what happened right now," Ana started but I cut her off.

"I went too far, I know," I muttered.

"Actually, it's not about that. Let Octavian be the judge of whether it was too far or not. I just wanted to tell you that I'm holding back right now. I did not tell him about anything yet because you are here and you are safe here. So, it is not doing you any harm physically. But if it gets too overwhelming for you or anything of that sort or is harming you in any way. I will tell them. I'm sorry but this is what my duty is as a responsible adult. Also, if everything is fine during these six months and you don't tell them, I will tell them before you leave. I can't let it continue. I don't want to force you either. But I also don't want to harm yourself in any way," She finished.

"You'll tell them even if I don't want you to?" I asked in a small whisper.

"You see Astria, whatever happened in that house has left some type of trauma in you. You don't realize just yet how bad it can get. And I want to prevent that. You are not sporting any injuries right now, which I'm sure of. But the mental trauma and pressure in just buried deep within. You need to accept your past instead of burying it deep inside you. And it's quite alright if you require assistance. There is nothing wrong. Your brothers, me, Lydel and your friends, there are so many people ready to help."

"This is not something you can get over easily and I know t is hard right now but it will get much worse if you don't open up. The trauma and past does not define you. Your brothers understand that and they are ready to catch if you fall. You just have to open up. It will eat you from the inside if you don't. The anger, pain, fear, sadness, you need to accept these emotions instead of burying and trying to forget about them,"She finished.

"But I'm scared," I whispered.

"I know you are, and it's alright, it is okay to be scared. I know this is huge for you but I want you to know that there is so much strength under that fear. You are such a strong girl, Astria. You have gone through what a lot of people can't and you are still standing strong. You don't realize how amazing you are. And it's okay to be afraid, just know that you are surrounded by the best people ever and that they help you no matter what. Just say one and so many people will be ready help you through. No one can take away that fear from you and no one but yourself and trust you can do that. You have the power to do anything," She explained.

I kept silent, mulling over Ana's words while sat beside me silently, offering support instead of the lack of words exchanged. Even after what Ana said, all I could think about how I can make everything with my mom better. I will take Ana's advice and talk to her. Make her understand that what she's doing is not okay. It will just take one call. The moment she accepts my call, I will talk this out with her, explaining how I feel and how it should be.

***

A chuckle escaped me as Lucas and Tessa bickered over the best spread. During the past hour, I've learned quite a lot about the team. I already knew I was the youngest and Elias was the oldest. The whole dance team had been on a video call for the past hour saying that we had something important to discuss but we just have been wasting time since the moment I joined the call. But it was entertaining to say the least.

Ana left after a little while saying she had some work to do but she will be back tomorrow. I was too wrapped up in my thoughts but as I was calming down I was starting to feel the absence the literally everyone. This was my first time being alone after the whole hypothermia accident, excluding my bathroom trips. Octavian refused to leave me alone except for bathroom trips, of course. But he had literally spent almost all of his past week in my room.

My thoughts got more and more suffocating with every minute passing. So, I decided to walk down to the gardens and have a little break with Sky. The moment I stepped out, in the humongous gardens, I saw my little pup bounding over to me, her pink tongue hanging out of her mouth and her white fur a little dirty.

My narrowed eyes met the terrified guard's who was keeping Sky occupied. I was alarmed at the fact that he was scared of me, a fragile girl that he could snap like a twig. I quickly masked my expression, giving him a reassuring smile and saw him visibly untense. I knelt down to the ground as Sky jumped on me. She had too much energy for a two month old pup. (A/N: I did if I mentioned Sky's age before, I don't remember. But let's keep her two months old for now)

I spent about an hour with Sky before I got a message saying that we are having a meeting. I half-heartedly said a farewell to Sky before going to prepare for my meeting. And now here I was laughing at silly jokes by Lucas, Nova and Declan. I am not going to lie, but they lifted up my spirits quite a lot.

"Alright, shut up you all, I'm adding Miss Alex now. If she sees all this tom-foolery, I'm not taking any blame," Elias broke in between Tessa and Lucas, making them shut up at one and everyone else break into laughter at their obvious of Miss Alex.

"Good evening all of you," Miss Alex's sharp voice broke the silence as she appeared on all of our screens, her round glasses perched atop of her slightly crooked nose as she observed each one of us.

"So, the registrations will be open from next to next week. And our classes will start again from next monday. I need to prep you all for the district level and Astria, you're still on probation. Take better care of yourself or you won't be able to compete." She finished with a warning glare towards me. I gulped softly before nodding.

She continued on about the timeline of the competitions leading up to the finals and further as the members kept giving suggestions here and there. I mostly kept my silence throughout the whole meeting as I did not know how everything worked around here.So, I just sat silent and listened to them plan out the year.

Towards the end of the meeting, the door opened and Lydel appeared with bags in her hands. Her appearance gave me Deja Vu, just that her hair was tied up in a messy bun and there was a very prominent scowl on her face this time. I shot her a small smile before diverting my attention back to the meeting. A loud sound from the corner of my room breaks my concentration on the year plan Miss Alex was reciting. I raise my eyebrows at Lydel who just dropped all the bags on the floor. She just stomped and whined in reply making me supress a giggle.

Soon, the meeting ended and I turned my attention back to Lydel who was still sporting the scowl. "What's wrong?" I asked with a small, amused smile.

"I do not know and that's the problem," She said while I raised one of my eyebrows, wordlessly asking her to elaborate, "Well, my mom and Jess are watching their soap dramas. Pfft boring," She said, rolling her eyes, "Zane is at his hospital, Zion is asleep, Dorian is acting like a little bitch on his man period and Octavian is refusing to come out of his office. And they are so fucking rude. I asked them once, literally, without pestering, in a really sweet tone and voice and still they had to lash out. Like what, what did I even do to you? I swear all of your brothers are temperamental, I said what I said and I ain't backing down. Like I just asked if you could come down and you had to shout about how busy you are and how free I am. Like I know dude, I know. And what even are they-" I cut Lydel from her rant right there.

"You're ranting," I muttered, which caused her to stop immediately, looking like a deer caught in headlights, "And their mood issues might be because of me. So, don't blame them."

"What do you mean?" She asked, sitting up straighter, her eyebrows furrowed together.

"Octavian saw one of the scars on my shoulder and the numerous scars littering my arms and legs, he wanted to know about them but I lashed out on him," I whispered, looking down at my lap, dejected. I knew what I did wrong, but I was hoping that it would have this big of an effect on him but it did.

"What did you say?" She asked.

"Just that I don't trust him enough to tell him what happened yet," I said.

"Ah, then don't worry. It's alright. Octavian might be a little hurt but he knows that that is the truth and he has already accepted it. He is a bitch for some other reason."

"I don't know, I-" I started but this time, Lydel cut me off.

"Uh-huh no more regret, sadness and that shit, I've come here to enjoy. so that I come bearing gifts," She said pointing to the huge pile of bags in one corner of my room.

"What is that?" I asked.

"Gifts from your lovers," She sighed dreamily, making me smack her on the back of her head. She just playfully rolled her eyes before grabbing the bags. She handed me a pink bag along with a small black one, "This is from me," She said. She then handed me a blue one, "This is from Jesper." Another humongous black bag, "Lucien, he says he is dying to meet you again but no one will let him out of the house because he has a broken foot. dumbass," She muttered softly in the end. Another pink and blue bag, "From Andra and her girlfriends. Apparently they do have human decency, shocker." She then handed me the last three smaller bags, "These are from Aaron. He says that they're from the whole football team. But I doubt it. Trust me, that boy is infatuated with you. He wouldn't fucking stop asking me how are you. Like twice everyday. Like anything will happen to you when there's a world famous doctor with you," She muttered rolling her eyes.

"Wait wait, reel back a second," I said, furrowing my eyebrows, "Who is infatuated with me?" I asked.

"Aaron, the cute boy with brown hair, a sexy smile, great body, amazing football player, flirtatious-"

"Alright, stop with that. I know who Aaron is," I replied, rolling my eyes.

"Well, he was asking for your number but I said I couldn't give it to him without your permission of course, so now he keeps pestering me about how you are," She said, rolling her eyes, "So?" She asked.

"What?" I asked back. I was still not over the fact that a boy like me. The sickly, malnourished me who was literally a waste of space. Someone liked that waste of space.

"Do you want me to give him your number, or not?" She asked.

"Uh, he's not a creep, is he?" I asked. She had known Aaron for about a year or two so she should at least have an idea.

"Nah, he's a good guy," She said, patting my shoulder.

"Then give it to him," I said, "I don't really mind."

***
A/N

Is that a love interest I see 👀👀👀

Lol, hey you guys. This was quite the chapter, we're really starting to get into the juicy parts of the story😋🙃 So, stay tuned for some revelations, a lot drama and equal amount of fluff to make it up for the stuff she has gone through😅😅

So, um Ana is trying to take some responsibility, which is nice ig. But omg, Octavian, my baby🥺🥺. Astria did him dirty 😭😭😭.

Choose a cake y'all, I'm confused.

A birthday is coming so expect a lot of fluff(followed by drama lol), not in the next chapter ofc, but soon enough.

Anyways, if you liked the chapter, ease vote and share. Also, comment and tell me about your favorite part of this chapter!! I love hearing your thoughts!!!

QOTD: Do you have a planner??
AOTD: I have multiple planners. I love collecting them more than using them 💀💀

Sibling meme lol

Toodles

~Ash