👆 Astria with her Papa

A/N: Sorry, it took me a while to write this chapter. Now I hope it is upto you guys' expectation and if it us not, lol, I will try to write it better. Ofc, I wouldn't change the events because that is how I wanted this to happen but I will try to refine my writing more so that it is upto par with the emotions and drama throughout this chapter! Anyways, I hope you enjoy this cryfest!

not edited

"Astria," Zion started quietly, cautiously towards me, "What are you talking about?"

A couple sobs escaped my lips as I tried to wipe the tears away, "I just, I don't know why I'm telling you this. I swear it's not for sympathy. It's just- I don't know," I muttered as more tears escaped my eyes. A hand landed on my back, making me flinch but I settled down after knowing that it was Zane. Zion offered me a perfectly pressed handkerchief. I accepted it with a small thank you and then my eyes landed on a small crooked 'Z' embroidered on one of the corners of the handkerchief.

The little gesture made me cry even more. I was five when my nanny reluctantly taught me how to work with a needle. The first thing I tried was to embroider the initials of my brothers and then had gifted the handkerchiefs to them. It was surprising that they still held on to that and were in good condition.

"Nobody is blaming you for that," Zane stated softly, "We just want to know what you were talking about."

I usually would have never told them but at that moment, I was in hysterics and Zane's warm embrace felt like heaven. "I'm sorry," I whispered, resting my head on Zane's chest as he wrapped his arms around me tighter. I could feel their confusion growing by the second and I felt more and more paranoid of what would be happening.

"It's alright," He whispered back, "You have nothing to be sorry about. It's all going to be fine."

"It's not," I cried into his chest as he softly rubbed my back. "It's all just a mess and it's never going to be alright."

"It is and we will make it alright but for that we need to what happened sweetheart," He muttered as he sat down on the couch with me on his lap. I refused to leave, it scared me too much. I felt that if I left him, even for a second, I would never be able to find that safety and comfort back again. I would be just lost.

"She hurt me just because I mentioned him. I wanted to meet him so bad. But she just wouldn't let me out of the house. And then begged her to let me go, to let me see him just once but she locked me in the basement and just, just hit me. everyday. for three weeks. It hurt so bad but she would just hit me more. She said that no one would be happy to see me there and I would just hurt him more by going. And when she left her phone behind I tried to call you guys, but you just wouldn't pick up. I was in so much pain but nobody helped me. But then she left the house and I tried to break the door of the basement but ended up stabing myself with a piece of wood because I was disoriented from everything. But I got out," By now, the sobs had turned into hiccups, and I had calmed down a title but the tears continued flowing my cheeks as I sat on Zane's lap, my wrapped around his waist and I clung onto him as if my life depended on it. "I spent the next week in a hospital and I was glad I did because I was at least able to see the funeral. I'm sorry, it must have felt horrible to broadcast such a personal event and I feel horrible saying this but I'm glad you decided to do it. The hospital staff was kind enough to left me see the whole thing without any interruptions, they even offered to call someone but nobody would reply from the other side. And then I gave up hope."

I slowly lifted my head and rest it on Zane's shoulder as tears continuously but silently flowed down my cheeks. "You were right, Octavian. I did have a choice. If I had just held on a bit longer, maybe she would have let me see him or talk to him. But I was too much of a coward," I muttered emotionlessly as I stared into nothingness, still holding onto Zane. I felt numb. Recollecting everything that happened during those three weeks was horrendous. And I just couldn't get the horrific image of her drunk, standing over me with a weapon of some kind or another.

"No no, you were not. You are the strongest to go through something like that and still be here, smiling as if nothing has ever gone wrong. You are strong and brave and nothing of a coward," Zane whispered.

"Astria," Zion muttered. He sounded as if he was choking words. As if it was difficult for him to talk.

"hmm?" The small sound escaped my lips as I sat there, unmoving and frozen in place.

"How did she hurt you, if you don't mind answering. Like was it just bare hands or-" He trailed off, as if not wanting to speak further.

"Sometimes, it was her bare hand but other times it was not," I replied vaguely. Whatever they knew was enough and I didn't feel like telling them anymore of what happened. I somewhat felt defensive like I needed to keep my past locked up and away from the happy people and happy moments of my life or I will just end end up getting tainted by the darkness.

"We're gonna need you to be a little more specific than that, honey," Zion said. I kept my mouth shut. I didn't even need to ignore it. His voice was just so far away, distant and low as compared to her voice in my head. Just curse words spewing out as she cursed me to hell and back.

"Astria," Zane called, trying to bring me back to reality but I was too far gone. "Ria? Ria?" He called pulling away from me which made me hyper aware of my surroundings. I immediately clutched his forearm in my small hand as he looked at me with concern in his eyes. He then offered me a glass of water which I somehow missed which was in his hand. I shook my head softly, indicating that I didn't want it, but he was persistent. So, I ended up chugging down the glass full of cool water and was left wanting for more.

I hung my head as it throbbed with pain, my hold on Zane never loosening. I just sighed and rested my head against his shoulder. "Who is she, Astria?" Zion asked.

That question somewhat brought realization to what all had happened in my past. It was an awakening of sorts. I never looked behind on how I had spent my life or what I had gone through, there was just fear to look forward to the next day rather than worrying about yesterday. But as they asked more and more questions, I came to more realization about how I lived in a place where everything was taken from me and funnily enough, I wanted to protect my mom. I knew it was wrong but something inside me just wanted to hold her tight and forget that she ever did anything wrong.

"Mama," I whispered softly.

Zane sighed, "I know you want to talk to Eleanore but you gotta answer this question bud, please?" He asked.

"No, it was her," I muttered as the tears made their way down my cheeks. The room turned dead silent. I didn't know how to react so I kept my face emotionless.

"She was just a kid, goddammit," Dorian bursted first. His sheer loudness made me jump but Zane was quick to soothe me. He then stood up with me in his arms as he carried me with his one arm under my knees and one supporting my back as I hid my face in his neck.

"That's enough for today," Zane muttered before walking. I managed to steal a glance at everyone's face. Zion looked as if he was being crushed from inside while a hint of anger could be seen in his eyes. Dorian on the other hand just looked enraged, not even trying to control his anger or guilt that could clearly be seen in his eyes. I looked away the moment he turned to look at Zane's retreating back.

My eyes then landed on Octavian and I have never been so scared just by looking at a person. Not even her. His body language and his posture was calm. Relaxed even but the moment I looked at his face, I knew that was not the case. His expressions were guarded as always but the ticking of his jaw and the pulsing nerve in his neck clearly showed that he was angry. But his eyes, his eyes were a different story all together. They were shining with anger, ablaze as if. There was a hunger, a hunger for blood behind his eyes and he looked as if he could murder someone after slowly torturing them for days. And I did not like that look.

I quickly looked away and closed my eyes as I hid my face again in Zane's neck as he walked away. "Do you want to take a warm bath?" He asked as I heard the familiar click of the door.

"I don't really feel like it," I whispered.

"Alright then," He muttered, setting me on my cloud of a bed as I unwrapped my hands from around. After my little episode down there, I didn't even want to look into his eyes. So, I just slipped under the covers, laying on my side so that my back is towards him.

"I want to be alone," I muttered, hoping he would take the signal and leave the room. He did. Without saying anything and the next sound I heard was the door closing. I closed my eyes as tears fell out of them, rolling down the side of my face on the pillow, making a new design for tonight.

***

I gasped sitting up, frantically looking at my surroundings before settling down as I took the dimly lit room in. The nightmare felt so real as it had happened but for a fact I don't remember it happening. I looked beside me and my eyes landed on the glass jug full of water along with a matching glass kept upside down on my bedside table.

I greedily poured the water into the glass upto the brim before gulping it down in a hurry. Halfway through my glass of cool water, the door opened to reveal a disheveled Octavian. I gasped, not realizing that I has water in my mouth and ended up choking on the water. I coughed, setting the glass aside as Octavian rushed over to me. He softly rubbed my back before opening the bottom drawer of the side desk and retrieved a small bar of caramel sea salt chocolate.

"Eat it," he muttered, as he set it on my palm after unwrapping it, "You'll feel better." I looked at the little bar of chocolate with narrowed eyes before handing it back to Octavian.

He sighed before setting the chocolate aside. His two fingers then gripped my chin softly and he made me look up so that our eyes met. He quietly wiped away the tears, his eyes cold and emotionless as always. "Were you awake this whole time?" He asked, his heavy voice barely above a whisper. I shook my head subtly as his eyebrows furrowed. "Nightmare?" He asked but his eyes seemed sure of his assumption.

I said nothing, just moved my head away from his hand and leaned against his broad chest and closed my eyes. He gently wrapped his arms around my thin form. My eyes snapped open from fear. There was nothing Octavian did but just everytime I closed my eyes, there was a horrid figure of her standing above me.

"How about you get under the covers, yeah?" He asked softly while picking up the end so I could slide under it. I wordlessly did as I was told and laid on my side, still clutching onto Octavian's hand.

Finally after moments, I let out the question I was bursting to ask, "Are you going to send me back?" I asked, my voice hoarse and rough from all the crying I did a couple hours ago.

His eyebrows furrowed as he looked down at me, "Why would you ask that?" He asked.

"It's just, I-" I hesitated in getting my words out but an encouraging nod from Octavian, had me wanting to speak everything for what it was, "Mom said you would be embarrassed to have me here if you ever found out. That I would ruin your reputation if anyone found out and then I would ruin everything. You have a beautiful life here and don't want to destroy the amazing empire you have built so I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to send me ba-" I did not realize how I was rambling like some attention seeking brat. I did not realize that what I told Octavian would just sound like a child exaggerating their past experiences to gain sympathy until Octavian cut me off.

"Astria, please stop," He muttered, making me shut up. "Whatever Eleanore said was not true. It wasn't your fault and if anyone thinks otherwise is wrong. Our reputation is not more important than you. I would never send you there, Astria, never. And whatever she said about you ruining our reputation is the opposite of truth. It's al just a web of lies, so no, I will never be sending you back there."

By now, I was back in Octavian's arms as he consoled me. It felt nice to know that he would never send me away. A moment later I realized the meaning behind his words and I pulled away at lightning speed.

"Never?" I asked, my eyes wide.

"Yes," He said, his face or eyes didn't show any emotions but I could feel his confusion.

"What after these six months end?" I asked as horror seeped into my voice.

"I am never sending you back there," He said with a finality in his tone.

"Y-You can't do that," I exclaimed, "Mom is still my legal guardian."

"We are going to transfer your guardianship to me soon. And you don't need to worry about how, we've got the best lawyers on our side."

"She is still my mom," I said.

"A mother would never do that to her own child," He tried to reason with me.

"It was a mistake," I spurted, "It was an honest mistake and she apologized for god knows how long. She was grieving, you can't blame her for something like this. And I have forgiven her. So, you don't have to do this, please."

"You don't understand, sweetie," He muttered softly as I saw the desperation behind his eyes, "There is no guarantee that this will not happen again. I can't just let you blindly walk into danger."

"She will never hurt me again," I said. I knew he was desperate but so was I. I was not ready to leave my mum behind forever. Even if I had to lie my way through it. Even if I lie that she is not hurting me, I will do it. I'm just not ready to be without my mother. Because I know she can improve and I know she will.

"I-" He started but I cut him off.

"Please Octavian, you have to understand. I don't want this. I want to be back with her. Please don't do this," I said.

"Alright, alright," He muttered on seeing my state, "We'll discuss this later." He stretched his hand forward, probably to embrace me again but I moved back further.

"No, no," I muttered, "Promise me. Promise me that you'll let me go back to mum after these six months."

"Astria," He sighed, still trying to get ahold of me.

"Promise me," I said, this time a little sternly. I knew I had no power over Octavian. However sternly I say, I will never be able to intimidate the most intimidating person alive but I had hope that he will see my desperation and give.

"Okay," He whispered, defeated. "Now can you come back?" He asked and I hesitantly nodded before going back to my position and Octavian immediately wrapped his hands around me once again. I closed my eyes, leaning against his chest once again and relaxed as his musky scent surrounded me.

A few minutes and another horrifying thought later, I jolted awake from the light sleep I was in, making Octavian rub my arms in an attempt to soothe me. "H-How's Dorian?" I asked. I wanted to distract myself but I also wanted to know if he was alright

Because he seemed the most emotion-driven in that moment and I was afraid that will end up doing something that would hurt him.

"He'll be fine," Octavian muttered.

"Is he angry?" I asked in return.

"Guilty more than angry but yes, a little angry. He left for our penthouse about an hour ago saying he needed time to reflect."

"Is he angry at me?"

"Definitely not. He was angry at himself for bringing misery to someone who was already hurting."

"Would he have felt better if I weren't hurting already?"

"I can't answer that for him but it is good that he has come to an understanding that what he was doing was wrong. He already knew but wasn't ready to acknowledge that he was doing something wrong."

"Why?"

"Because when people are hurting, they forget reason and tend to do things that are normally considered harsh and out of character for them. They feel as if they need to be in control. Because after being under someone's control as they inflict pain on them, they want to be in that power position. Somewhere they can feel the control. And that is never enough to heal your wounds, this frustrates them and they just end up breaking under all the frustration and sadness and end up acting so harshly," He explained softly. It felt nice to have guidance after so long, someone who would help you understand, show you the right path and help you see the reason behind things. It has been too long living in the darkness of unknowing and confusion.

"I did not," I whispered.

"Because you, my dear child, are the most compassionate, kind and the gentlest little girl ever who doesn't let darkness take over her," He said, squeezing me gently.

"What if that has happened already?" I asked in a soft broken whisper.

"Then your brothers would the perfect beacon of light you'll ever need," He whispered back to me, pressing a firm but soft kiss to my temple while I stayed in his embrace. The safest place I could ever be.

***

A/N

So, here we are. The truth is finally out, well most of it anyways. But each, I hope you liked this chapter. There were actually a lot of things that I wanted to include but this dialogue of Octavian felt like it was the perfect ending sentence. I hope you agree!

Now one more thing, remember how I told you guys that this is not a Mafia book as some of were adding this books to those list. Well, the number of Mafia reading lists this book is added to has increased (fucking doubled) after that A/N. Y'all are on some secret agenda huh? But whatever. You control your reading lists but yeah, sorry to let the people who thought this is a Mafia book down but it is not.

Also, I'm feel left out because of that. So, do you want me to like, write a book where the brothers are in a Mafia?? Like I'm not a big fan of that stereotype but if you guys want to read that, I can definitely try.

Anyways, so I hope you liked this chapter and if you did please vote and share. Comment and tell me about your faviourite part of this chapter!!

P.S.: Some you sent the sweetest messages, both privately and on my conversations section and I just really want to thank you guys! You all are the most amazing readers anyone could ever ask for!!

And no, this book is not coming to an end. This is half point of the book and like one-fourth poit of the story. So you guessed it, there is going to be a sequel. But that's too far away. But yeah Astria's story is not coming to an end anytime soon and neither is this book!

Also, one of my readers thought that it would be better to have the meme and stuff after an emotional chapter so here you are lol.

QOTD: How old do you think I am?
AOTD: I'm not answering this one 😭😭

SIBLING MEME LOL

Toodles

~Ash