It is definitely very silly and unserious to be writing something like this about a fictional character and a fictional story that I made up and is not real and never will be real, but I'm feeling like a sap and I love anniversaries so much so I might as well.

Lux means a lot to me. She's not just a character but a manifestation of what I can accomplish when I put my mind to something. She's a way to navigate my own trauma without feeling too scared or too personal. She's a safe distance but still close enough that I can project bits and pieces of me where I see fit. She's not supposed to be me by any means, and we are extremely different, but I can still see so many parts of myself both intentionally and unintentionally inside her. Lux deserves so much love, and in the process of seeing those parts of me in her, I realized I'm worthy of love too.

She's not perfect, far from it, but that's the point. No one is. But Lux tries, and that's what matters. Even when it doesn't work out, she tries. I didn't think this story would work out how it did, but I tried, and look where I am now. 85 chapters and 630k words in and no end in sight (send help). I never thought it would get this long, this complicated, and specifically, this important to me.

Writing gives me purpose, and even though it sometimes fills me with crippling anxiety and panic, it means enough to me that I push through. This story in particular is one I've grown so attached to I could never let it go, even in times where I considered quitting due to block or JKR's antics.

Lux persevered, and so did I. Lux is proof that overcoming even the most severe of obstacles is possible, and I project a lot of my own insecurities onto her, because if she can do it, so can I.

When I developed a chronic health condition, I thought I'd never write again. But three years of hiatus was enough, and I did it anyways. When I got diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, I thought my life was going to end at 27, like the life expectancy statistic says. I'm not 27 yet, but I can promise I will make it far, far past that.

Lux has both of these things too - if you consider vampirism a form of illness, that is, and she's still pushing through. Her BPD isn't stated, but it's there, alongside the feeling of being so very othered. She always will push through, even if it gets hard. If I can promise you one thing about WIld & Wicked, it's that Lux gets her happy ending. She deserves it. Anyways, this was incoherent, and I'm sorry about that lol. I just wanted to yap.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for loving Lux. Thank you for supporting me. I love you.

Also shoutout to wheremyarmorends, whom this story would not be where it is without. You're my biggest cheerleader, I love you so much and thank you for believing in me even when I don't.