Remus flipped a page of A Room with a View, trying to stay awake. He had struggled falling asleep last night, once James and Sirius had stopped making random jokes and he started to sleep, he began to get horrible nightmares. Every time he closed his eyes he was five years old again, hearing a scratching sound from outside his window.

Now he was eating lunch in the great hall and not even pretending to listen to James talk about what position he'd play in quidditch.

A hand grabbed his shoulder. Sirius was next to him, with a look of concern on his face that Remus wished wasn't there. Sirius was almost always joking, and when he wasn't, it honestly frightened Remus a bit. It felt unnatural, the same feeling as when James began to talk about his situation, although by now he was used to it.

Sirius and Remus had spent the holidays together, since their other friends had left Hogwarts during break. Without James to talk to, Sirius spent all of his time with Remus, which became a problem on New Year's Eve--the last full moon of the year. Every excuse he made just made Sirius want to accompany him to another place. He admired his kindness but had never been closer to punching someone. Eventually, he decided to pretend someone had snuck up behind him and jinxed him and that he needed the hospital wing, which got Sirius upset but ultimately worked.

"You good? You look knackered," Sirius said.

"M'fine. Just got kept up by you and James all night," Remus replied, feigning a laugh.

Sirius smiled and some of the uneasiness disappeared from Remus. "Sorry 'bout that," Sirius quieted down, "But I think I have an idea on how to get payback on the Slytherins."

Whatever ease Remus felt was short-lived. He hadn't thought Sirius would actually want to get revenge for the supposed jinx, given that Remus told him he had no idea who did it.

"What?"

"A prank, like Halloween. Do you know any muggle pranks? If not we could bewitch their toothbrushes to turn their teeth bright green, or quills to write everything wrong."

"Any of those sound good, I'll need a bit to think of any muggle pranks though so maybe we do that another time."

"Okay, perfect. You wanna walk to Defense Against the Dark Arts now?" Remus nodded and stood.

"Leaving now? We have more time," James said to the pair.

"This is why you're always late, James," Remus chuckled.

"What's the use of being early to class? It's not like we'll be doing anything for the first five minutes anyways."

"C'mon, mate, y'know who's always early? Evans." James laughed at Sirius' words and got up, Peter following him. Peter followed James a lot.

"I'm not in love with her or anything, y'know."

Sirius and Remus shared a humorous look. "Sure, buddy." Sirius patted James' back.

Defense Against the Dark Arts was the only class all four of them liked, even Peter who pretty much hated every class. The last lesson was on boggarts, which he found particularly interesting. They had been doing lessons on many different dark creatures, but thankfully for him, werewolves seemed to not be taught to first years. However, from the rumors he's heard, this job gets new teachers all the time so the curriculum wasn't very steady.

The class waited noisily for their absent Professor, a group of Hufflepuffs played exploding snap in the back while almost everyone else talked amongst themselves. Remus started to read, but only got about two sentences in before feeling a tap on his shoulder. Sirius' face smiled at his own expectantly. "What're you reading?" Remus showed Sirius the cover of his book. One thing he noticed from their time together: Sirius had a proclivity for filling silence. While him and James' conversations were balanced, Remus and Sirius had a great number of long, somewhat one-sided conversations.

"Why do you think he's gone? Oh, maybe one of his spells went wrong again, d'you think this time his eyebrows will get singed off?" Just after Sirius said this, Professor Bletchley appeared at the doorway, struggling to carry a cupboard far larger than his body. James rushed to the professors aid, as did one of the Hufflepuff twins from their year, but they were both disregarded as their Professor continued to haul the furniture toward to front of the room.

For a second after he set it down, Remus thought he was still moving it. However, he realized quickly that the cupboard was shaking on its own, as if trying to break out of an invisible box.

"Hello, class. I trust you remember our last lesson, correct?" The room filled with murmurs. "Good. Well, I trust you will put your knowledge to good use in this lesson. Because you are all so young, this is optional and I will be next to you at all times, and of course I-" Bletchley noticed the wide eyes and excited whispers that made their way into the class. "Enough background. A student found a boggart a few days ago, and I told Headmaster Dumbledore that I could cover boggarts earlier in order to get this hands-on experience for my students. Generously, he agreed. So, who is interested in having a go at the boggart?"

James and Sirius' hands immediately shot up as they grinned at each other, Peter following suite. Throughout the room, hands eagerly made their way into the air. There was only one student whose hands remained on the table in front of him, and that was Remus. He felt eyes on him.

"Dude don't be a wimp, it'll be fun!" Sirius nudged him. Remus looked around, locking eyes with James. His eyes were filled with concern.

"Nah, I'll pass," Remus dismissed, faking a laugh. The room was quiet, but Professor Bletchley looked unsure what to say. Remus knew he would not face the boggart, doing so would likely expose his secret, which he was barely keeping hidden already. If this happened not only would he not be able to continue his education, but he would be a social pariah. He knew this. Their professor knew this. James knew this. Sirius did not.

"C'mon! Get your hand up," Sirius tried to pull Remus's arm up, laughing.

"Drop it, Sirius!" James snapped. Sirius' smile faded and he looked confused and embarrassed. Remus felt a pang of guilt, but also anger. He knew that, rationally, it wasn't Sirius' fault Remus was being put on the spot. But he also couldn't help the animosity towards his friend he felt in that moment. Couldn't he have just said nothing? Why did he always have to make things difficult?

"Okay, so if you'll all just form a line. No shoving, please." Bletchley gestured towards the cupboard, clearly trying to ignore Remus.

James headed to the back of the line, which seemed out of character for him, but Remus knew it was to be closer to him in the corner of the room, which was thoughtful. Unecessary, though. Remus didn't want to talk. Sirius and Peter were by James, anyways.

At the front of the line was Benjy Fenwick, a Hufflepuff Remus had spoken to a few times. He was normally with the Bones twins and that other girl Remus couldn't remember the name of. Bletchley pointed his wand and the click of the cupboard unlocking echoed throughout the silent room. Benjy looked nervous as the boggart began to change forms. It grew and grew before settling on a scaley, monkey-like sea creature with haunting yellow-green eyes and a hollow on its head.

"Remember, riddikulus!"

Benjy hesitated before raising his wand. "Riddikulus!" The odd beast shrank and fell to the floor, flopping like a pet fish out of its tank. The room erupted into loud laughter, as did Benjy.

"Next!" Marlene stepped up, laughing and looking at Mary. The boggart quickly changed forms into what looked like a very hairy fairy with an extra pair of limbs. Marlene shrieked and quickly uttered the spell, turning the small creature into an actual fairy, which flew elegantly about.

Mary cackled. "Your worst fear is a doxy?" This earned her a shove from Marlene.

"Hey, I said no shoving. Mary, you next."

Mary, still smiling, was soon greeted by a disturbing sight. Instead of at eye level, her boggart now lay on the ground, in the shape of a human. The color drained from Mary's face, seeing a woman with similar features to herself laying still on the floor. She had a large cut on her forehead.

Mary took a deep breath. "Riddikulus." The boggart changed into a small, smiling doll. Mary walked to the back of the room silently, where Marlene wrapped an arm around her.

"Good job, Mary. Your turn, Florence." After Bletchley broke the tension, the room slowly gained enthusiasm as the boggart shifted into an unusually large wasp. Florence--a Slytherin girl with hair down to her hips--looked alarmed, but quickly used the spell. The wasp turned into a soaring butterfly, making Florence laugh and move to the back of the line.

"Aubrey!" Another Slytherin stepped up, making the boggart shift and shift and shift before transforming into a--

Remus' heart sank. It was as if all the air had been sucked from the room. He felt the teacher's eyes on him once more. Towering in front of the Slytherin boy was a hairy, snarling werewolf. His head was swimming and he couldn't think straight, it felt as if he was back to the last time he saw a werewolf, five years old in his bed. Without thinking of what it could reveal, he slipped out of the room and into the hallway.

He felt his heartbeat pounding in his head. He bit back tears as he leaned against the wall.

"I'm his worst fear," Remus choked out.

"Remus?" Looking up through wet eyes, he saw a blur of red. "What's wrong?"

Remus blinked tears away, looking at Lily with nothing to say. She looked back at him. Their silence differed from the laughter heard in the room not far from them. Eventually, she walked towards him and slid down the wall. They just sat there.

Remus felt his eyes burning. He wanted out of his skin, he wanted to leave school and never return, he wanted to scream until his voice gave out. He wanted to tell Lily everything.

But, leaning on his friend's shoulder, all he did was cry.

A/N
Sorry this took so long! I've been super busy and I've had awful writers block, but I'm really excited to keep writing this, hope you enjoyed <3