CHAPTER NINETEEN:
THE NUTELLA

Jason was having a nice dream. He was dreaming about the dog park he saw yesterday while wandering around looking for his stupider half. He saw himself running with the dogs, Bethy was there, with Marty and Kitty. Look! An enormous chocolate cake--

Slam!

The slamming of the door woke him up suddenly.

"what--" Jason looked around and saw they'd stopped at a house.

Is there a party going on in the house or?

"Be careful," Allison said from outside the car, where she, Diego, and Five were standing and had rudely left him in the car to be kidnapped by any passersby, "We don't know what Peabody's capable of."

"Not a time machine, that's for sure," Jason huffed as he got out of the car and joined the others on the pavement.

"Yeah, he didn't seem dangerous the first time I saw him," Diego brushed off her concern and walked up to the porch.

"We should steal his packages, become porch pirates."

"Why?"

"I always wanted to be a pirate."

"You get seasick."

"No sea on porches."

Diego had mastered ignoring the two bickering and having useless conversations —rude, every convo they've had was important!— but Allison who was new to them together gave them a strange look.

"Looked kinda scrawny," Diego said after a moment.

"Yeah, and so do serial killers and mass murderers, look at them," Allison gestured at Five and Jason.

"Thanks," Five said without any emotion while Jason grinned widely.

"Good point," Diego agreed, "So what this guy wants from Vanya?"

"I don't know," Five said and followed Diego up to the door with Jason behind him, "How about we ask him after we kill him?"

"What a splendid idea!"

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Diego said and held up a hand, "I'm gonna burst through-" He turned to see only Five and Jason.

"You know what?" He said to Five, "It would be nice for people to stick to-"

Five portaled away, leaving only a grinning Jason and an annoyed Diego.

"-The plan. Great."

Diego got ready and jumped through the window of the door.

"Whoo! Go Diego, Go!"

Allison and Five joined him.

"Subtle," Allison sounded amused. She was amused. so was everybody else. Even the neighbor who was watching from his window.

"You know," Jason said and walked to the door and opened It from the outside, "The door was unlocked."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Diego grunted.

Jason shrugged, "It was more amusing this way. Imagine if we just opened the door and walked in," He made a disgusted face, "Blekh."

Diego sighed and threw a piece of glass that was sticking to his clothes, "Spread out, Yell if you're in trouble. Except you Jason, don't bother yelling. no one's gonna come help you."

"Such lovely words you say to me," Jason blinked repeatedly, "Be careful Five, he might just steal me with those pretty eyes and those poetic words."

Allison looked at him, "You're weird."

"Thanks!"

They spread around the house in search of something.

Jason doesn't know where everyone is but he headed straight for the fridge, found the Nutella, and started eating.

"Guys, come check this out!" Allison shouted and everyone ran to where her voice was coming from.

They went to the attic and found it full of pictures of the umbrella academy and action figures. He must've had a problem with their eyes cause they were all burned.

Maybe he was jealous of their eyes? Diego certainly has beautiful eyes, and so do the other --yes, even Luther.

He put another spoon of Nutella in his mouth when he heard a thud and turned to see Five sprawled on the floor.

"Oh, you're bleeding out dude," Another spoon.

Allison shot him a look while Diego lifted Five's shirt to see the old-teen-whatever-he-was had a gunshot wound he hadn't treated and was bleeding out badly.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Diego asked as he inspected the wound.

"We had to keep going, we-" and then Five passed out.

Allison and Diego picked him up and carried him to the car, all while Jason continued to eat his Nutella.

"Why are you so unconcerned ?" Allison burst when they were all sitting, "Aren't you like best friends or lovers?"

"He'll be fine, he's had worst. One time, his leg was shot, his arms were shot, his calf was shot, his stomach was shot, his-"

And he spent the rest of the car ride listing the injuries Five had 'that one time' all the while he ate Nutella with one hand and softly stroked Five's hair with the other.

Allison regretted ever questioning his lack of concern and swore to never ask the boy anything else. Ever.

Allison and Diego once again carried Five from the car into the academy.

"We should've taken him to the hospital," Allison said once they were inside.

"Can't, he might scare the doctors and no one would treat his wounds, might raise some questions."

"Yeah, well, so does the murder shrine in Harold Jenkins' attic."

They laid him down on the nearest sofa.

"Dude, you should go on a diet or something, poor Diego broke his back," Jason scooped the remaining Nutella with his spoon, "Or it might be his age."

Diego glared at the annoying cunt.

"He's still losing a lot of blood, what do we do?" Allison said

"We gotta get the shrapnel out," Jason inspected the wound and pocked it with a finger, earning a glare from Allison and a groan from Five, "Oh stop being a baby," he then turned to Allison, "Do you have like a medical room or something? I can patch him up."

"You can?" Allison sounded skeptical.

"Sure, I've watched a lot of Gray's Anatomy and I've listened to our medical classes back when I was a cool ninja."

"We had medical classes?" Five asked weakly.

"Nah," Jason looked at the wound closely, "It would've been useful tho. I'm afraid for now you have to rely on my Gray's Anatomy knowledge and that time I was sent to kill a doctor and spend an hour chatting with him about medical stuff."

"I'm going to die," Five said faintly and Allison nodded, "Yeah, I'm gonna die."

"If the wound doesn't kill you, Jason will."

In the end, there was no need for Jason to use his limited medical knowledge because somehow Mama Hargreeves was working, she might've had an update or something, Jason doesn't know he wasn't paying attention.

Anyways, Mama Hargreeves saved the day and treated Five's wound.

"So you don't have to have the thingy and give him shocks for a bullet wound?"

"No," Grace said as she put a bandage on where she had stitched Five up.

"Huh," Jason said with wonder.

"I'm really glad we didn't let him fix Five," Allison mumbled to Diego from where they were both standing by the door.

"Me too."

Jason turned his head and saw Diego and Allison leaving, he shrugged and turned back to Grace, "So, should I give him mouth to mouth now? The kiss of love."

Grace chuckled, "If you want to."

He grinned and looked at Grace, "Yay!" and then kissed him on his forehead. At Grace's questioning gaze he shrugged, "It would've been weird if I kissed him on the mouth right now."

Grace smiled and softly ran a hand through Jason's hair making the dog boy close his eyes with a content smile. After a minute she stopped and softly lead him to lay down next to Five. Jason complied and rested his head next to Five on the pillow and held the unconscious boy's hand in his before he settled and shortly after fell asleep.

Grace smiled and tucked them in, before kissing bother their foreheads, turning on the bedside lamp and turning off the other lights, and left.

Jason and Five slept peacefully.

—ᴥ︎—
BONJOUR MF!
IT IS I!

Yes, I'm back, I still haven't finished my exams (haven't even started them) but I missed y'all so here I am!

I EVEN HAVE MEMES!

LOVE YA! ❤️