3 things before you read this:

1) This is super old. And by that I mean... Like 3-4 months old.
2) this isn't finished! I was just digging deep into all kinds of files and i dug this up. Wanted to share it, because why the fuck not xD
3) this is an AU with Daddy Bryce, little kid Cartoonz and Delirious, and Ohm is their unfortunate babysitter. Dont remember where it came from, but its here xD

So... Enjoy?
-

When Ryan first took up the offer, it was because he was stupid and in need of a quick buck or two. It was not, in any way at all, because he enjoyed babysitting.

Honestly? Ryan had never done this before. He's never been around kids before, he's not good with kids, and he's not sure what he was thinking when he agreed to come over to his neighbor's house and watch his two sons.

His neighbor, Mr. McQuaid, had asked him if he would be willing to watch his kids for a night, as the normal babysitter had been busy tonight. It wasn't for very long, he had said- from five to eleven, and even then his sons both went to bed at nine. It didn't sound all that hard.

Feed them dinner at six, make sure they don't drown in the bath, and then put them to bed at nine.

Easy job, easy money.

Half the reason Ryan even took up the offer was because of how desperate Mr. McQuaid had looked, and how he had told Ryan he would be paid by the hour in case work ran late. Plus, Mr. McQuaid was a really, really nice guy, and that meant his kids were bound to have inherited some of that kindness, which meant that everything would go smoothly.

So just before five, Ryan grabbed his phone, put on his favorite hoodie (for good luck), and went over next door.

The first thing he noticed was all the dog toys lying around the front yard. He stepped over them, then came up to the front door and knocked. There was a bit of yelling, a lot of barking, and then the door opens.

“Oh! Ryan, thank goodness you're here! I've got to go in a few, come in! I'll get you guys introduced- and before you say anything, please, call me Bryce. When you call me mister I feel, like, twenty years older than I actually am.” Bryce smiles brightly, somehow saying his entire speech in one breath, which amazes Ryan to no end.

Was this what being a father does to someone?

He turns towards the stairs and calls up to the kids. “Jonathan! Luke! Come meet the babysitter for tonight! Please and thank you! And turn off that bathroom light if nobody's in there!”

There was the sound of little footsteps running down the stairs, and then Ryan was met with two kids, both gazing up at Ryan with big, curious eyes.

“Who's this, Daddy?” The smaller one, with a big, blue sweater on and teddy bear in hand, speaks first, hiding behind the taller one.

Bryce smiles warmly at his sons, then gestures to Ryan. “Jon, Luke, this is Ryan. He lives next door, and he's gonna be watching you guys for tonight,” Bryce says softly, bending down to their level. “Can you guys introduce yourselves for him?”

The taller one, with a red shirt, just looks at Ryan and smiles. “I'm Luke, and this guy here is Jon. He's my brother. We're brothers.”

Jon nods his head, then holds his teddy bear up to Ryan. “And this is Teddy! He's a secret agent!”

Ryan nods his head, not sure how to respond to that. Did the kid know his teddy bear was missing an eye?

“Well, I've got to go. There's money for pizza on the counter, and I've got soda in the fridge if you want some. Feel free to help yourself if you get hungry, Ryan, okay?” Bryce smiles warmly at Ryan, who nods again.

“You're leaving already?” Luke looks upset, crossing his arms and pouting.

“Of course! I'll be back, though, so don't you worry!” Bryce hugs the two, then kisses them both on the forehead. “Love you guys, now I gotta go. Bye!”

And with that, Ryan was left alone with two kids and zero babysitting experience.

He turns back towards the children, and is stunned at their sudden change in… Everything, really. It was like someone flipped a damn switch, because the instant Bryce left, their facade was gone.

The two kids who had been smiling and happy not even a minute ago were now glaring up at Ryan with the kind of fury only a child could possess.

“Who are you?” Jon spits the question out so harshly that Ryan wasn't sure if this was even a child anymore. “You're not our normal babysitter! You're a weirdo! Get out of our house!”

“Just because Dad paid you to watch us don't mean we gotta listen,” Luke announces. “Jonny’s right. You are weird. I don't care what you try to make us do, alright?”

The two kids ran off before Ryan could even think to question their logic. He watched as they ran back up the stairs, yelling little insults at Ryan as they moved. He then leaned back against the wall, hiding his face in his hands as he let out a loud, frustrated groan.

This was clearly a lot more than Ryan bargained for. He pulled his face out of his hands, then decided to sit on the couch, and rethink his life decisions.

A few minutes later, though, Jonathan is back by Ryan's side, hastily tugging on his shirt.

“Hey! Hey, weird short man! I'm hungry, yup! You get us food, you short scum!” Jonathan continues pulling on Ryan's shirt, whining loudly. “I want pizza! Daddy said we can have pizza, I want pizza!”

Ryan wanted to yell at Jon to make him shut up, but instead held his frustration in and spoke in a much, much calmer voice. “What kind of pizza?”

“Uhh…” Jon trails off, squeezing his teddy closer to himself as he thought. “Lemme ask Luke, m’kay?”

“Alright then, little guy. You two talk it over, and I'll order whatever you guys want.”

Ryan waited patiently for the two to return with their decision, deciding to stand in the kitchen by the phone. They seemed to get along well, which meant that they would agree on a pizza quicker than most kids. So Ryan stood there, waiting for them to decide.

He waited for five minutes. Then ten. And then fifteen minutes had gone by, and Ryan began to worry.

Fifteen minutes had just gone by, and Ryan saw nor heard any sign of the kids. Now, Ryan wasn't an expert or anything when it came to children, but he was almost positive that this was not a good thing.

Ryan, beginning to fear the worst, started to go up the stairs, calling for them. “Guys? Are you okay?”

There was no response. No noise at all, actually.

Ryan looked around the second floor, before quietly creeping up to a door and opening it. It was the bathroom, and it was empty, so he moved onto the next room, which was also empty. The next door, though, was covered in teddy bears, and had two little boys sitting on the bed whispering back and forth.

“Guys? You guys okay up here?” Ryan leaned against the wall of the room, watching with amusement as both children jumped and stared at him, like deer caught in headlights.

“What- what’cha doin’ in my room, huh? Nobody even- nobody even thinks you're here! Go away!” Jonathan quickly regained his composure, jumping into a more defensive position behind his teddy bear. He pointed a finger at the door, waving his arm up and down. “Out! I said out! We don't like your kind here!”

Ryan rolled his eyes, and ignored the child's commands. “I came to make sure you guys were okay. You two ever decide on what pizza you guys wanted?”

Luke and Jon turned to each other, beginning to whisper into each other's ears. They went back and forth for a moment, before turning back to Ryan and nodding their heads in sync. “We want pepperoni,” they said in unison.

Ryan nodded his head, then pulled out his phone, beginning to dial the pizza place as he moved back into the hallway. He placed their order, an extra large pepperoni pizza, and hung up when he was done. He leaned back against the wall, feeling proud of himself.

“Hey! Hey, mister! When's the pizza gonna be here?” Little Luke was giving Ryan an upset look, arms crossed and a cat rubbing against his leg.

“It'll be here in about an hour, they said. Do-”

“What is this bullshit?! I'm fuckin’ hungry! I want pizza, and I want it now! You're a bad babysitter!” Luke stomped his foot on the ground, staring up at Ryan angrily.

Ryan was a bit stunned, to say the least. Wasn't he a bit young to be cursing like that?

“Yeah! I don't like you! I want- I want our other guy back! The one who had the cool hair! He was cool, but you're weird! Why the hell are you so short? What do you do with your legs if you're short, anyways, huh?! They're so tiny you can't do stuff with them!” Jonathan stomps out, beginning to circle around Ryan.

Luke joins in, the two of them yelling and whining while stomping in a circle around Ryan. They were loud and upset, circling Ryan like a couple of sharks.

Two loud, whiny, angry little sharks. Yeah, that was a pretty good way to describe them.

“Please calm down,” Ryan begs, giving the two children a pleading look. “I know I'm not your usual babysitter, and I know I'm short and weird, but can't we just get along for one night? I'm sorry that the pizza will take so long to get here, can I maybe get you a snack while you wait?”

Upon hearing the word “snack”, Jon and Luke immediately stop and instead look up at Ryan.

“Snacks?”

“I want a snack!”

Ryan nods, grinning at the idea of finally getting them to not insult him. “Then what do you little men want?”

“Gummy bears and chocolate!” The two yell out at the same time, two big, excited grins planted onto their faces.

It would've been cute, actually, if Ryan hadn't been there to witness their little tirade a few seconds prior.

The fact that Ryan had to address the fact that he was both short and weird kind of killed his mood. Was he really that odd?

“So can we? Please, please, please?” Jon's beaming up at Ryan, squeezing his teddy close to his chest while looking at Ryan with nothing but innocence.

Ryan looks back at Jon, and then over to Luke, who has the same expression on his face, and then something clicks in his mind before he can say yes.  

These two little fuckers were trying to charm him into giving them candy. Was this how they got everything else that they have? Because if a fucking nine year old has a better gaming system than Ryan, then there's no way that the kid isn't pulling some cute charm on people or something.

And there was no way that Ryan was giving in to them and their cute little faces.

“I don't think that's a good idea, you'll spoil your dinner like that. Can we try something else?” Ryan gives them the nicest smile he can, letting them down as gently as he could.

They didn't take it all too well, however. Jonathan whimpers, pulling his teddy closer to himself and giving Ryan a sad, pleading look. “Please? I promise I'll be good,” he whines.

Luke nods, looking up at Ryan with a little frown on his face. “We'll share them with you, if you want. It's just that the pizza is gonna take so long, and- and we're hungry! So please? Pretty please?”

Ryan hesitates. Yes, giving them candy would probably be a bad idea, but they both looked so innocent and sounded so sad when Ryan told them no, that, well…

“Fine,” Ryan groans. “Only a few, though. I don't need you guys getting all hyped up on a bag of gummy worms, okay?”

The kids cheered, both running down to the kitchen laughing and giggling to each other.

-

About forty five minutes later, Ryan is regretting his decision to give the boys candy. They clearly misunderstood the term “only a few,” because, as far as Ryan was concerned, an entire bag each did not count as “only a few.”

Ryan wasn't sure if the kids were on a sugar rush, or if they were naturally this hyperactive. Either way, they were running around, yelling and utterly refusing to listen to Ryan, no matter what he said or did to try and get their attention.

Talking to them wasn't working, and yelling didn't seem like any better of an option. He had tried to block them off, to stop them and try to communicate, but instead Luke shot Ryan with a water gun and sped off. Ryan had tried convincing them to calm down and watch a movie, but they weren't interested in listening to him. Jonathan just beat him with various teddy bears until Ryan gave up.

And, honestly, when the doorbell rang, Ryan had no explanation as to why he (probably) looked like a wreck. He just handed the pizza guy his money, making sure to tip extra, then turned around to see two little kids gazing up at the pizza box in his hand like it was the most beautiful thing they've ever seen.

“Okay guys. Sit yourselves down at the table. I'll get the drinks and plates for you guys,” Ryan announces, carefully moving around them. He sets the box on the table, then goes to the kitchen to grab plates and cups. It takes him a moment to find them, but once he does, he takes them and heads back to the table.

To his delight (and surprise), the boys weren't doing anything crazy, instead they were sitting at the table patiently waiting for food. The sight makes Ryan smile, feeling a bit happier as he gets them all a slice.

And as the three sit at the table, eating pizza for dinner, Ryan can't help but feel hopeful at this situation. Maybe they finally accepted him as their babysitter for the night?

They didn't. They completely refused to listen to Ryan, they kept complaining that they wanted their other babysitter, or that they wanted their dad to come home, and they were determined to make Ryan's one night here a living hell.

“Revolution! Revolution! We're overthrowing these damn- these- the- the damn… Fuck! Fuck everything!” Jonathan’s voice calls out from across the room, shortly followed by a soft click.

“Watch your language, little man. I doubt you would talk to your dad like that,” Ryan scolds.

It didn't do anything, though. A few seconds later Ryan is being pelted by foam darts, making him jump and nearly drop the plate he had been washing. He gives Jonathan a stern look, opens his mouth to speak, and instead yelps as something hard hits him in the back of the head.

Looking down at the ground, he finds a water gun at his feet.

“Luke! What the fuck was that?!” Jon glares at his brother, pointing at the toy Ryan was now holding, ignoring the look Ryan gives him.

“Sorry. It was out of water, and I was too lazy to refill it,” Luke apologizes.

“No! Not that! Why didn't you use the other gun?!”

“Oh, that one? Dad took it away from me, remember?” Luke shrugs his shoulders, shaking his head.

Ryan has no idea what they're going on about, but he's thankful that he's being spared for now. He sets the plate down on the counter, then quietly fills the water gun back up. He looks at both of the boys, before grinning as an idea pops into his head. A better idea than spraying them both, because that was a battle Ryan didn't want to start.

“You guys wanna go play with water guns outside?”

Luke and Jon both begin yelling excitedly. “Can we? I wanna go play outside!”

Ryan nods. “Of course! Go get the water guns and we'll go play outside!”

The two kids both ran upstairs to their rooms, yelling the entire way. Ryan took the few moments he had to take a few breaths and prepare himself for what he just started.

It took ten minutes. They lasted a whole ten minutes before one of them decided to start a mud puddle on the ground. And then it only got worse from there, Jon having shoved Luke into it, only to be pulled in as well.

So now Ryan was watching two muddy, wet little boys run around the backyard, water guns long forgotten. In fact, Ryan didn't even know where they were. Probably in the mud, if he had to guess.

It was all fun and games until someone gets hurt, though. Out of nowhere there's a loud snap, and then a mixture of crying and yelling. Ryan jogs over to where the two boys were standing, Luke holding a broken stick in his hands, and Jon crying on the ground clutching his arm.

“Hey, now, what happened here?” Ryan bends down to their level, looking over them both carefully.

“He- he hit me! He hit me with the stick!” Jon points at Luke accusingly, using his other hand to wipe his eyes. He only succeeds in smearing dirt across his face, sadly.

Luke huffs, folding his arms and glaring down at his brother. “Well, you shouldn't have been in the way of my stick! I told you I was gonna swing it, I warned you!”

“No you didn't! You didn't say that!”

“Yes I did!”

“No, no you didn't mister! You're a liar! A filthy liar person!”

“That doesn't even make sense!”

The boys are so caught up in their argument that they don't notice Ryan taking away Luke's stick.

Jon stands up, having to stretch to bring himself up to Luke's height. “Yes it does! I'm- I'm a genius, okay? I'm in first grade, I know what I mean! You're just stupid!”

Ryan really wants to scream right now. He had no idea what to do with these children. Would Mr. McQuaid be mad if Ryan called him asking for help?