weightless

ˈweɪtləs/

adjective

(of a body, especially in an orbiting spacecraft) not apparently acted on by gravity.

"Brock, please let me in, I'm really worried." Brian's voice pleaded, as he knocked on the door, his anxiety rising in quick waves. His fist clenching as he stabbed his fingers into his palm, biting his lip when he waited for an answer, the door slowly slid open after a while revealing Brock who had red eyes and his cheeks puffy, his eyes were slightly closed, yet he looked as if he was relaxed, which was surprising considering he just shoved one of his closest friends away.

Brock stared down at his feet staying silent as his friend pulled him into a tight, reassuring hug, he smiled lightly and slowly relaxed, hugging him back and feeling the urge to cry resurface, luckily for him he was able to suppress it and pull away, glancing up to make eye contact with Brian, though he wished he didn't, the eyes that looked back at him showed so many raw emotion that it was honestly intoxicating.

Brian opened his mouth to speak, however he was cut off by the loud boom of thunder, followed by rain pouring down, Brock chuckled and stepped aside to let Brian inside, "C'mon in, you'll catch a cold,"

Brian nodded, stepping past Brock and dragging his bags inside, rather surprised at the neatness of the apartment, aside from a few pizza boxes and bottles of soft drink here and there, the place was incredibly clean, he smiled softly good to know Brock's cleanliness didn't falter.

Setting his bags next to the table Brian turned to Brock and pulled the smaller man into a tight hug, feeling the other man tense before relaxing and gripping his shirt tightly, Brock chewed his bottom lip as he bit back tears that threatened to spill from the simple gesture his antisocial behaviour deprived him of.

Brian rubbed his back softly, keeping him close so that they were both sharing body heat, it was extremely relaxing to hold someone who needed your support, it brought a smile to his face, since it confirmed the fact that he did have a purpose on this world and that was making Brock feel better.

The two stayed in each others hold for awhile, Brock enjoying the feeling of safety that Brian's arms offered, he let himself relax and his tears flow, releasing Brian's shirt to wipe his tears away, "I-I'm sorry Brian.." He whispered standing numbly in the taller man's hold.

"Why are you sorry, you've done nothing wrong," Brian responded, his voice soft and calming for situation he was new to.

Brock looked up at him and wiped tears from his eyes sadly, "I kept myself away from everyone! I should have spoken out and talked about my problems but that.. That made me feel selfish."

Brian frowned and gently cupped his cheeks, "Brock, talking about yourself every once in a while doesn't make you selfish, it makes you brave,"

Brock simply nodded, looking at his feet, "I don't feel brave," He sighed, playing with his fingers and looking down, "I feel like I'm just a burden, or im greedy for being like this, keeping myself quiet and suffering to avoid people talking about me, but that didn't work, you flew yourself out here to see me- You spent money on this! And i'm not even in a good mental state to be a decent person about it!" he whimpered, rubbing his eyes fiercely, "Why? Why am i so selfish? Why did you go through all this trouble?" he asked, looking up to meet Brian's calm eyes, while his own eyes were filling with tears.

A soft delicate hand cupped Brock's cheeks, wiping his eyes as a few tears slipped past Brock's eyes, Brian could only offer a soft smile and gently words, which was really helping Brock relax, "Brock, You have never been selfish and you don't always have to be in a good mental state, it's normal for people to not be normal, you have no reason to force yourself to be something you're not, let yourself be you, the you we all love," He said softly.

Brock felt his legs go weak, he held onto Brian and collapsed against him, crying into his shoulder, Brian stumbled at the sudden weight dropped onto him, he gained his balance and gently wrapped his buff arms around the american, staying silent and letting Brock pour his eyes out on his shoulder, he didn't care that the tears were wetting his shirt, he really only cared about Brock's mental state, if this was making him feel better then he would do his best to keep Brock like this.

After a few more minutes, Brock slowly pulled away and wiped his eyes, "God, I'm so sorry, I'm a mess right now and you shouldn't have to see me like this," He laughed, it was a lot more colder than his usual giggles or proper laughs, "Sorry," he repeated.

Brian shook his head and sat down on the couch, patting the spot next to him and smiling, "No, don't be sorry, let me hear what's bothering you- i'm your temporary therapist, like the ones in school! Everything we talk about will stay in between us two, Okay?" he said, smiling at him happily.

Brock hesitated before sitting down next to him, "It's funny you say that, High school was when it first started, i guess,"

Brock really never found a comfortable group to associate himself with, he wasn't ugly or nerdy, he was just shy, he had guys and girls constantly trying to drag him off to a corner and slip into his pants, or convince him to go to a party with them, he didn't go with them however, he didn't like attention and he found it oddly relaxing knowing the he would be able to do things or see people without causing a whole drama with the group he had surrounded himself with, so he had freedom, more freedom than his parents would give him, but he didn't mind the set curfew and the "no drinking' rule, he had rugby and that kept him fit and athletic. He was content with just this.

He often sat alone during lunch, eating whatever food he could find at home, usually making sandwiches or just stuffing a few packets of chips into his bag and sprinting out the door, luckily for him, he had woken up early and his parents had just left for work, so he could make himself a decent breakfast and pack some stuff for lunch, spoiling himself with some fried rice and whatever sweet snack he could find. He even managed to make it to school on time!

Recess was the same as it had usually been, sitting alone and eating his sweet happily, Lunch was different, He was sitting on an empty table when a new kid came and sat down next to him, which caught him off, the man seemed calm and friendly, trying his hardest to start up some small talk, which evolved from, "Hey, i just moved to this school, My name's Ryan, are you new too?"

Brock didn't know those simple words would start up a beautiful friendship.

Ryan and Brock had become really close friends, to the point where if Brock was having a bad day, Ryan would walk him home and stay by his side, letting him vent or rant to him about what was bugging the american and vice versa.

Unfortunately this lead to a disturbing discovery about Ryan.

"Sorry Brock, You really didn't have to come here,"

"Are you kidding me? Something is clearly wrong with you today,"

"..Umm, This is awkward, cause i've always been like this?"

"What? You havent been eating well and whenever you see a knife or scissors you either flinch away or reach for it,"

"Oh, I guess I do.. Sorry, my tendencies are showing again, Did it make you uncomfortable?"

"Not really, I was just concerned, anyways I still have leftover sushi from lunch, do you want it?"

"No, No, But can you hand me that box?"

"This silver one?"

"Yeah, that's the one,"

"What's in it?"

"My coping method,"

Brock stopped, rubbing his eyes furiously as he recalled the memories, "His coping method was gun. He said it was my fault that he didn't want to do it anymore, that he felt human, he kept repeating he wasn't human, he didn't deserve my friendship, before he sprinted off to his room and.. And.."

Brian shook his head and stopped Brock there,"Hey, Hey, relax, we're stopping there, you don't have to talk about it anymore," He said softly, "Did you get therapy? From a professional?"

Brock shook his head and sighed, "I thought i could deal with it myself but.. I couldn't and it just, didn't help with how i was feeling," he sighed.

Brian nodded, "You can't just keep things like this to yourself, It really wont make you feel better Brocky," He explained, pulling him close and holding onto him like the world was ending.

Brock rubbed his eyes more, hoping that his tears would fucking stop already, he wanted to swallow back his cries and tell Brian how thankful he was for everything he had gotten, but at the same time, he wasn't thankful. He didn't stop his best friend from dying and he knew he was going to carry that guilt with him everywhere, that is something nobody can get over quickly and since he didn't have alot if friends at the time, he felt alone, he felt useless, he couldn't do anything without fearing who he would hurt next.

"I don't want to do that, I don't want to hurt people, Brian, please," he whispered.

The Irishman rubbed his back, "You're only hurting yourself, I'm gonna take you out and we're gonna have some fun, okay? Just the two of us, nobody else unless, you want to invite the others?" He asked.

Brock rubbed his eyes and nodded calmly, a genuine smile gracing his face, "That'd be nic," he whispered.

Brian smiled and kissed his head gently, a gesture that left Brock confused, was it platonic or a romantic feeling?

Whatever it was, it gave him butterflies.