That afternoon, Yibo drove home alone from the dance academy. A freedom that Yibo reclaimed after he could hardly leave the house alone lately. While he could understand Zhan's concern for him, Yibo still didn't like having two of Zhan's men around all the time watching over him. Always taking him to the dance academy and picking him up when Zhan didn't.

He was embarrassed when the others from his class witnessed them dropping him off right outside the door and waiting until he was at the academy and then picking him up again in the afternoon at the same place. There was a lot of talk about him because of that, especially because of that Kate girl who Yibo dislikes so much. And to avoid further talk about him, he asked Zhan to stop guarding him around the clock.

For the conversation with Zhan, Yibo had prepared some good arguments that should be convincing. For example, that he is not used to being so limited. That he has always been good at taking care of himself. That he doesn't like being controlled around the clock. And Zhan was very understanding and assured him that if he was so uncomfortable, from now on Yibo would not be accompanied everywhere and could go to the dance academy and come back alone. Yibo was thrilled and very happy about this.

But this new freedom also had a negative side, which Yibo did not like at all. Whereas Zhan had previously left his office on time every afternoon to pick up Yibo, he no longer did so. Instead, Zhan continued to work and came home late in the evening. That didn't leave much time for Yibo.

Or if Zhan came home earlier, it was only to shower and change and then go to a business dinner with business partners, where Yibo accompanied him, but then only as an escort and not as his boyfriend.

It seemed to Yibo that he had disappointed Zhan and that Zhan was now withdrawing more and more from him. Zhan had also postponed their weekend together at Zhan's sister's place in Taiwan and was working as a boss in the secret Hitman Organization instead. Zhan was so busy that they didn't even get to try out the new playroom. It had been finished for a long time.

When Yibo came home that afternoon and Zhan wasn't there again, he went into the living room disappointed and sat down on the sofa. He looked outside at the garden and struggled not to cry. He missed Zhan badly and wished things were the same between them as they were before they talked.

Yibo didn't stay alone for long, though, because Lana came to him in the living room and sat down next to him. She took Yibo's hand and asked, "Why don't you just talk to Zhan?"

"I um, I don't know how. I'm afraid he might misunderstand. Like the other day when I asked him to give me back my freedom." Replied Yibo.

"Is that how you said it to him?"

"Mn. I said, "Zhan, please give me back my freedom." And since then, he hardly spends any time with me."

"Oh dear, young master. You probably expressed yourself a little badly there, and then he misunderstood you. I'm sure he thought it referred to your relationship as well."

"Why?"

"Because you said he should give you back your freedom."

"Yes, but only in relation to his men. I didn't want to be monitored around the clock anymore, or be taken to and from the academy by them."

"I'm sure Zhan was referring to himself, too. When you grow up like Zhan, it's probably even normal. He was raised and trained by his father as one of his men. I should know, I've always been by Zhan's side. He never really learned what it meant to have a relationship with someone without the men being a part of it."

"He told me a little about his past."

"But not much, right?"

"No."

"Did he tell you about his ex-wife and his first boyfriend, Ten?"

"Yes. But not very much. He seemed uncomfortable talking about it."

"Mn. When Zhan had to get married back then, he was still very young and hadn't even known who he really was and what he wanted. He really only ever wanted his freedom and felt trapped in this marriage all the time. Still, he tried to be a good husband. Even then, when he met Ten and fell in love with him."

"Zhan was still dependent on his father then, wasn't he?"

"Yes. He never experienced what it was like to have his freedom while his father was alive. And his inexperience in interpersonal things, like feelings, overwhelmed him as he tried to be a good friend to his wife and her loveless marriage, and a good boyfriend to Ten, whom he loved. He acted only on feelings and always tried to please both. But that only worked to a certain extent."

"Maybe he should have divorced his wife instead of living in a house with his wife and lover."

"Yeah, maybe. But Zhan was dependent on his father then as you said yourself. He was still studying and had no money of his own. Moreover, he also didn't want his wife to get into trouble. Because she didn't have her own money either and was dependent on Zhan."

"That really sucks."

"Mn. So Zhan was torn between his care for his wife and his love for Ten. For him, the best solution was to let Ten move into the house with him. He thought it would be easier if they were both in the same place and he could take care of them both. For a while it went well. But at some point Ten wanted more. Which is understandable. Besides, Zhan's wife was very manipulative. And she manipulated Ten incessantly."

"But why? She didn't want Zhan after all."

"Not exactly. At that time, when Zhan realized that he didn't love her and merely felt affection for her, he told her so. And fearing Zhan would divorce her, she told him she felt the same way. She therefore suggested the open marriage. But she loved him. She confessed it to me herself at that time. She always hoped that Zhan would fall in love with her after all. But then when Ten was there, she gradually noticed how Zhan's feelings for Ten became stronger and stronger."

"So she started manipulating Ten?"

"Exactly. We as outsiders noticed that and warned Zhan. But Zhan was so overwhelmed by it all that he didn't listen and continued to act on his feelings. We were all convinced that Ten really loved Zhan and never wanted to hurt him. But none of us found out what Zhan's wife was using to manipulate and control him. And somehow the three-way relationship worked for Zhan, so he had no reason to assume anything else. Well, and then somehow it all happened at the same time. Zhan's father got sick and Zhan found out what evil game his wife and Ten were playing behind his back. He threw them both out and shortly after that Ten had taken his own life."

"Because he didn't know what to do?"

"Mn. I read his suicide note too and it was very emotional. But Zhan was so angry, disappointed and also horrified by the betrayal that he never allowed himself to believe the words in that suicide note. He never allowed anyone to get close to him again and just wanted his freedom."

"What was written in the letter?"

"I can't tell you everything, maybe Zhan will tell you someday. But I can tell you a little bit. So Ten wrote that he had just wanted a normal relationship with Zhan after all. That he wished Zhan had stood by him at least once and not just called him a roommate or a friend. He wished that Zhan would have freed himself from this marriage and just left with him. He wrote that he sincerely loved Zhan but listened too much to what Zhan's wife always told him."

"That's really intense."

"Yeah. Zhan never let anyone get close to him after that. Just having fun, enjoying the freedoms and nothing more. But then he met you and fell in love with you. And I guess your pleading for him to give you back your freedom kind of reminded him of that time. He always wanted to have his freedom. And Ten always talked about having freedom. Even if that was in reference to their secret relationship."

"So could it be that Zhan thinks I don't want the relationship to be so close and would rather go back to being loose like before?"

"Probably yes."

"Damn. I don't want that at all. Sure, this is all new to me too, and I'm just getting to know myself in a new way. But I want Zhan to be by my side while I get to know myself anew."

"Then it's best if you tell him that way."

"Yes, I think so too. After all, I didn't know what was going on inside Zhan at the time and how he felt."

"You couldn't have known that either. Zhan doesn't like to talk about that time."

"Understandable. But now that I know, I can talk to him about it too."

"Exactly. Explain your point of view and make it clear to him. Then he'll see that it was just a misunderstanding."

"I will. Preferably tonight. If he doesn't stay late at the office again."

"Well, at least on that, I can assure you that Zhan is really busy right now and that's why he's at the office so late. So he's not coming home this late to avoid you."

"Well at least something."

"Don't worry about it. Talk to him later and you'll see, everything will be fine."

"Mn. You Lana? Can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"I often feel like you're not just the head housekeeper here, but a mom to Zhan."

"Well, that's because I raised him like my own child. His dad trained him to be a hitman and his mom, well, she's a good woman, but she didn't care much for her 3 kids. Which doesn't mean she doesn't love her kids. She just had other things considered more important at the time."

"And what?"

"She took care of the Organization alongside her husband. She took care of the office. And she was so busy with that, she hardly had time for other things."

"Fortunately, Zhan had you."

"Yes. And he'll have me for quite a while. I'm not leaving his side."

"I don't think he'd let you go either."

"I think so, too. But I'm going to go home now. You should eat, it's in the oven to stay warm. And when Zhan comes in later, you talk to him."

"Mn. And thanks for listening and explaining. Have a nice relaxing evening."

"You're very welcome. I'll see you again tomorrow. Good luck with your conversation."

"Thanks Lana." Said Yibo. He still looked after her as she left, then shortly went to the kitchen to eat. But he didn't feel like eating alone. So he left the food in the oven and went upstairs to the bathroom to shower.

As Yibo stood under the shower, letting the warm water run over his face, he briefly felt a cool breeze and then someone's arms wrap around him from behind and kiss his neck. He didn't have to turn around to know it was Zhan. He pressed his head against Zhan's shoulder, put his hands on Zhan's hands and said, "I miss you so much Zhan."

Zhan turned Yibo around to face him and kissed him. "I miss you too." He said.

"ZhanZhan, when I said I wanted my freedom back, I didn't mean that you should move away from me. I think there was a misunderstanding. I still want to be picked up by you, spend my evening with you, and not have you avoid me. I just don't want your men to pick me up and follow me everywhere. I just want you."

Zhan kissed Yibo and replied, "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

"So you'll pick me up from the dance academy again and spend your evenings with me?"

"Yeah."

"Just like that?"

"Yibo, listen to me carefully right now. I love you! I really do. It's true, I thought you meant that with freedom also referring to both of us. But now I know how you really meant it, and accordingly I'll devote myself more to you and our relationship again."

"You, you love me?" Yibo asked with his heart pounding heavily. Zhan had never said -I love you- to him before.

"Yes, I love you Yibo."

"I love you too Zhan. So please stay by my side yes? Don't leave me alone anymore."

"I promise you Yibo. I will stay by your side and never leave you alone again."

"Good." Replied Yibo with relief. He wrapped his arms around Zhan's neck and kissed him...

A/N: "At this point, it will continue in the next chapter. I hope I'll be able to write the chapter tomorrow.