Still on the way to the hotel, Yibo did not believe that he could really relax there. But as soon as he arrived there and stood on the balcony of his room, looking out into the open air, he was able to take a deep breath for the first time since the fight with Zhan. He felt that he was in the right place at that moment to gather his thoughts and feelings.

That evening, as Yibo sat on his balcony under the stars, he was able to think for the first time about the argument and how Zhan was right about Yibo not trusting him. It's not that he doesn't trust him in general. But whenever there is a lot of money involved and his knowledge that Zhan would do anything for him, as he has said so many times, he began to have doubts.

Yibo grew up in poor circumstances and was happy when he got some pocket money now and then. Because his father's income was not even enough for a slightly larger apartment, where his parents would have had their own bedroom and did not have to sleep in the living room. Every new purchase, every single expense had to be discussed and thought about carefully beforehand. And that's how Yibo kept it after his parents threw him out on the street.

But since Yibo started dating Zhan, he often witnessed how easy it is for Zhan to buy things without having to think about it. He had even offered Yibo several million yuan for just one night with him, and just as if that amount was nothing. And even when they went shopping together, it often seemed to Yibo that Zhan didn't care how much money it would cost him.

So, in Yibo's eyes, it was not completely groundless to assume that Zhan might have given this money to his parents. But Yibo also realized that he had prejudged him and didn't think. He just accepted it and was not willing to consider any other possibility. Because when it came to money, Yibo didn't know how far Zhan would go and where his limits were. Because so far he did not experience Zhan setting any financial limits.

He can't figure out Zhan when it comes to money. And therefore it is difficult for him to trust Zhan in these matters. Even though he actually knows that he can definitely trust him. Because with everything else, Yibo has no problem trusting Zhan completely.

After all the back and forth of the last week in which Yibo had a lot of time to think and especially after he was finally able to think clearly again that evening, Yibo also finally realized that Zhan definitely couldn't have done it. Because in his heart, he already knew that Zhan wouldn't do something like that to him.

Zhan would never betray Yibo and do anything behind his back. And Youn was right when he said that Zhan kept telling him that he wouldn't do anything that Yibo didn't want or could hurt him. Now it annoyed him that he hadn't thought of that right away and let his errant thoughts and feelings get the best of him.

And that first night in the hotel and under the starry sky, Yibo realized that he must sincerely apologize and explain to Zhan. He has to fix it somehow. Because one thing is absolutely certain, Yibo does not want to lose Zhan! There would be nothing worse for him right now than to lose Zhan. Therefore, he has to come up with something to get Zhan to listen to him so that he can apologize to him honestly.

Also, Yibo told himself that he needs to work on having trust in Zhan as well when it comes to money. He can't have trust in Zhan about everything and then suddenly not have trust in him just because it's about money.

But before Yibo sets out to figure out how to make it back into Zhan's heart, he wants to use the time to work on himself. He wants to come clean with himself again and deal with his worries and fears. Because only then can he approach Zhan openly and honestly and talk to him.

After Yibo had slept until noon the next day, he ate a snack in the hotel's own small restaurant and then went on an hour-long hike through nature. He kept listening to the same ballad that he and Zhan love so much, trying to rid himself of all dark thoughts.

At first, Yibo didn't even notice that he was often moving to the beat of the ballad. He was more dancing along than really wandering. He thought he was only seeing a dance in his mind's eye that he would like to perform for Zhan. And it was only after several hours that Yibo realized that he was not just seeing this dance in his mind, but was actually wandering through nature dancing.

He added more and more steps, movements and shapes and tried different things until he suddenly stopped and said to himself: "This is it! This is the perfect choreography! A dance for Zhan. Just for him!" He felt a crazy tingle in his stomach at the thought of performing this dance for Zhan. A dance to show Zhan how Yibo felt about him. Yibo was sure that if Zhan saw Yibo perform this dance for him, Zhan would understand. After all, Zhan and he share one heart and soul.

Yibo used the following days to refine his choreography and improve it here and there. He videotaped himself dancing so he could see what worked and what needed improvement. And when he wasn't working on his dance, he was out in nature, hiking, jogging, biking, and just sitting under the tall trees reflecting on himself.

On his second to last night, he joined a group of hotel guests and went with them to the disco in the village. But instead of dancing and drinking there, he sat in a corner and just listened to the music and the bass. He missed not being in clubs regularly anymore. Since he and Zhan started dating, they had only been to a club twice. And he also missed going to bars. Because he and Zhan hadn't gone to bars in a long time either.

When the two of them went out, it was only to business dinners and then back home. Yibo only now realized how much he missed going to a club or bar. But he also realized that he only wanted to do that with Zhan. Alone, he didn't feel like it. If anything, it would be with the man he loves.

Yibo had noticed many times in the last few days with all the thinking that he and Zhan had already changed a lot in the short time they have been a couple. They withdrew almost every evening, did not go out and did not meet with friends.

He also only now realized how much he missed Youn. How much he missed that sometimes they just sat together on the sofa, talked, had a drink and laughed a lot. They used to talk about everything and now they hardly saw each other or talked on the phone. Although Yibo enjoyed the time alone with Zhan, he now realized what he had unconsciously been missing.

Was it perhaps too soon that they moved in together? Had they been too hasty? Yibo was no longer sure if it wasn't all happening too fast. Maybe, even if they should reconcile, they shouldn't live together for now? Maybe they should go out and have fun before choosing such a secluded life?

In his crush, anything was fine with Yibo if he could just be with Zhan. But now he began to have doubts that maybe he was throwing himself too much into the relationship with Zhan and losing sight of everything else. Like his friendship with Youn. His love of dancing at night in clubs and having fun. And even his true passion for dancing took a back seat, despite his dance training.

But the more Yibo allowed the thoughts and doubts and almost bathed himself in them, the more he seemed to lose himself. Only when he turned on his cell phone to check the time and saw the background image with the heart-shaped hickey on the display, he recollected himself. He slapped himself on the back of the head for getting so wrapped up in all of this that he almost began to have doubts about his relationship with Zhan.

He finished his drink and then made his way back to the hotel without the group. In the darkness, he kept looking up at the starry sky, wishing he could just talk to Zhan now. He wished he could just tell him what was on his mind. And he wished Zhan would take his hand and tell him, no matter what it is, we can do this together.

More and more, Yibo wondered if his heartbreak was taking him down the best path to depression. Crying, he took his cell phone and recorded a video of himself speaking to Zhan: "Do you know how much I love you, Zhan? My life feels so broken and miserable when you're not with me. I miss you so much. I feel like all I want to do is cry. My heart hurts so incredibly. And the worst thing is, it's my own fault. I am so, so sorry that I insinuated that. I'm sorry that I didn't trust you. It's so hard for me to figure you out when it comes to money. And I let my confused thoughts get the best of me. I just want to see you and be in your arms. I want to be able to talk to you, share my thoughts with you. I feel so depressed and I am so afraid of losing you that I would like to lie down in bed and not get up. I can't live without you anymore Zhan..." Yibo stopped recording and rubbed his eyes, which were swollen from crying.

He saved the video and clicked send. When the messenger app asked him if he really wanted to send the video, he wanted to click no, but he accidentally clicked yes and the video was sent to Zhan. Panicking that Zhan would think he was just trying to get his pity with the video and that Zhan might call him and accuse him of just that, Yibo turned off his phone.

Yibo slowly walked back to the hotel and to his room with his heart pounding hard. He hid the cell phone in his travel bag and resolved not to turn it on for the time being. Even though this went completely against his logic. Because he actually hoped that Zhan would contact him. But the fear that Zhan could reproach him because of the video was bigger at the moment.

Even though it was very difficult for him, Yibo did not turn on his cell phone even when he was back with Youn and Wooseok. He also didn't tell them about the video because he was just embarrassed. But it annoyed him that he couldn't turn on his phone and show them the videos of his dance.

And since he only has the ballad on his phone after Zhan sent it to him, he didn't want to show them the dance either. Besides, the dance is for Zhan's eyes only anyway, Yibo told himself.

On the same evening of his return, Youn suggested to him that they could go to a club the next evening as a threesome. Youn pretended that he needed to go out and party again and hoped that Yibo could finally let himself go. First Yibo was against it, because the evening in the village disco did not go so great. But the prospect of an evening with Youn and his boyfriend, he also liked and so he agreed after some hesitation.

With Yibo's consent, Youn secretly contacted Lana and asked her if Zhan was back. When she answered in the affirmative, they made out that they would get Zhan and Yibo together at the club the next night. Lana already knew exactly how to get Zhan to go to the club!

A/N: Now completely off topic. I wanted to make a few pictures of me again, the last are already over a year old, but somehow I find the pictures of myself always terrible. Even now with 41 years, I hate to make pictures of myself. Especially because you can always see my chubby cheeks and I always look fat through my moon face! Because I have a really round face.... as thick and round as the full moon.🌚 Hahaha. Do you know that too? You take pictures that you like first and then when you look at them again you think, no that doesn't work at all?