After the bad fight with Yibo, Zhan had taken two weeks off to recover a little. Even if he would not admit it, the quarrel with Yibo weighed heavily on him. He felt wrongly accused by Yibo, but at the same time he tried to understand him, because he knew deep inside that Yibo had not meant it as he said. He understood that Yibo was very upset and probably really doesn't know anyone else who would do something like that for him.

Besides, he misses him very much every day. Still, the argument also hit him so hard that he couldn't bring himself to just call Yibo and ask him to talk it out. Even though he often held his cell phone in his hand, staring at the wallpaper with the heart-shaped hickey on Yibo's chest and wishing they could just get along again, he couldn't bring himself to just call Yibo.

But ever since Yibo sent him that video and really shocked Zhan with it because he seemed so desperate, so incredibly sad and depressed in it, he was very worried about him. Again and again he had tried to call Yibo and talk to him, but he couldn't reach him. Each time he was told that the person he wanted to talk to was not available at the moment.

And it was only thanks to Wooseok, who regularly updated him on Yibo, that he knew that although Yibo was still infinitely sad, he was largely doing well.

Too eagerly, Zhan would like to talk to Yibo. Especially about the accusation that he had, behind Yibo's back, given Yibo's parents a lot of money, gotten them good jobs, and outed Yibo to them. Zhan would never do such a thing, nor could he, because it goes against everything Zhan believes in in a relationship. In honesty, openness and trust.

But not only because of Yibo's accusations he would like to talk to him. But also to reconcile with him. And to tell him who is really behind all this and that it was never really about Yibo.

After Yibo had asked him for help to find out the truth behind all this, Zhan had at first refused to help him. But secretly, he also wanted to know who was responsible for him and Yibo having such a heated argument. So he hired someone to find out.

It came out that it was actually about Yibo's brother, whose ex-boyfriend Meng Yao is back in town and according to Zhan's information, is hoping to win Hai Kuan back this way. But so far, he probably hasn't even explained to Hai Kuan that it was him who gave his parents the money and got the jobs. According to Zhan's informants, Meng Yao may be planning more and will only come out with the truth then.

Hai Kuan and Meng Yao had been a couple for two years and actually the two had even wanted to get married. Hai Kuan had proposed to him in a very romantic way. However, just a few months before the wedding, Hai Kuan realized something very important and made a decision that he actually made for the sake of Meng Yao.

Because Hai Kuan's parents were so heavily in debt and Hai Kuan didn't want Meng Yao to get involved as well, he ended the relationship after two years instead of marrying him as planned. Meng Yao then left with a broken heart, vowing to earn enough money to relieve Hai Kuan of the burden of his parents' debt so that he could then marry Hai Kuan.

But in the meantime, Hai Kuan is newly in love and dating Zhan's little brother. Even though they can't see each other as often as they would like, they love each other and are planning a future together. According to Zhan's informants, Meng Yao also found out about this and now seems to be planning something to win Hai Kuan back.

Zhan would like to tell this to Yibo. But because he can't reach him and doesn't want to try through third parties, he doesn't know what to do. He doesn't want to be the one to go to Yibo, because Yibo should better come to him. After all, it was Yibo who started all this in the first place and started the fight. So Yibo should also be the first to make a move on him now that they've both calmed down a bit.

After Zhan hadn't worked for two weeks and there were still a few important emails to answer, he had retreated to his office at home and answered his clients' emails and sent out bills. Every now and then, his eyes wandered to a picture on his desk showing Yibo with a sweet and bright smile.

He missed Yibo so much that Zhan could not even find words to describe how much he missed Yibo. Because of Yibo, his whole life had changed. His life became more exciting, more fun, more romantic and much more erotic. All in all, Yibo had completely turned Zhan's life upside down and Zhan loved it.

Now without Yibo, he finds it hard to fall asleep alone. He often just lies in bed with his eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling while trying to block out the feeling of loneliness. But no matter how long he stared at the ceiling, he couldn't get rid of the feeling and just couldn't fall asleep.

It feels to him like he has to drag himself through the long day over and over again, while before time was just racing by together with Yibo. Everything smells of Yibo's perfume, the bedroom, the bathroom, and even their personal adult playroom. And even Zhan's office smells like him. With all that, how could he not miss him?

To distract himself a little from all this heartbreak, Lana suggested that he go to a club that night after all and just take advantage of the evening, drink and dance and forget about his worries for at least a moment.

Zhan had little desire to do that. He didn't know why, but since he started dating Yibo, he didn't feel like going out all the time and always preferred to enjoy time alone with Yibo. And without Yibo, he doubted he would have fun at the club. But he also had to agree with Lana, because he really needed a change of scenery and needed to get out and party.

"It will do you good, believe me." Said Lana to Zhan at breakfast that morning.

"Well, if you say so." Replied Zhan doubtfully.

"Sure, then maybe you'll get your head cleared."

"From what?"

"From your anger and worry about Yibo."

"Anger and worry, well, that almost sums it up."

"Zhan, listen to me. I'm old, I know what's good."

"Sure you do. No one is smarter than my good Lana."

"Exactly! That you will never forget that about me."

"No way. But even if I wanted to go, alone I don't want to. And I'm not booking myself an escort. Yibo would wring my neck if he found out. And I'm not in the mood for any guys either."

"You're going to have a visitor this afternoon, aren't you? Take him to the club. I'm sure he'll be happy to go."

"Are you sure about that? He doesn't strike me as the type who likes to go clubbing."

"I think so. When he called earlier to confirm again that he'd be arriving this afternoon, he said it would be nice if you could do something together tonight."

"He said that? I think it's more like you asked him to do something with me."

"Either way, he wants to go to a club with you tonight."

"Uh-huh, okay. I'm curious to see how he does in a club."

"I'm sure he'll be fine. And how are you this morning? Did you sleep any better last night?"

"Do I look like I slept?"

"Oh Zhan, you really should talk to Yibo. This can't go on like this."

"I already explained it to you last night. He has to come to me. I don't see why I should make the first move. Besides, I even tried calling him quite a few times. But he hasn't turned on his cell phone since he sent me that video of himself."

"What kind of video was that? Why don't you show it to me?"

"No, it was very personal from him to me and I don't want anyone else to see without his permission."

"Oh okay. I thought you trusted me."

"I do. But Lana, Yibo sent me this video at a moment when he was obviously very fragile. I don't want anyone else to see it. And I'm sure he doesn't want me to show it to anyone else either. Not even you!"

"You're being mean to me."

"Yeah, yeah now I'm mean. But you know, should Yibo and I reconcile, you can ask him about the video yourself. Because I'm not going to show it to you."

"Fine, agreed. It's good that you're protecting Yibo's privacy even though you're at odds."

"That's how it should be. No matter what happens, I'll protect Yibo."

"I know that. Alright, you go ahead and eat your breakfast and I'll go see how far the others are with cleaning up."

"Mn, you do that." Replied Zhan. That had been that morning and that was when Zhan told himself that maybe it would be really good to go to the club in the evening and try to switch off. Even if he doubted that he would succeed. Just the club reminded him a lot of Yibo and how the two of them got closer.

In the afternoon, when his visitor arrived and wanted to go back to sleep to be fit for the evening, Zhan decided to go back to bed and try to get a few hours of sleep as well.

Zhan lay down in his bed and grabbed Yibo's pillow. He pressed it against his body and sniffed it. This made him feel a little like he was holding Yibo in his arms, which was a tip from Lana after he told her he missed holding Yibo in his arms when he fell asleep. And sure enough, it worked and Zhan fell asleep.

However, it was a very restless sleep because Zhan was dreaming about his past. He dreamed of himself as a 10 year old boy who, together with his brother, had to do push-ups in the dark and in heavy rain in the square in front of the house because his father insisted, as he thought they had not exercised properly in the morning.

Zhan and also Cheng were very tired and exhausted. Their bodies ached, rainwater and sweat ran into their eyes, leaving a burning pain that made their eyes water badly. They saw their big sister watching them from the living room window along with their mother. They wished their mother would stop this and finally bring them inside.

But as usual, their mother said nothing and left them to their strict father, who had already been tormenting them for an hour. A thunderstorm was approaching and the rain was getting heavier. Lana came outside and tried to persuade Zhan's father to finally let the boys stop and go inside. She argued with him, telling him that he was overtaxing them and that they were still too young to go through such hard training.

But as usual, his father remained stubborn and let the boys continue. Until a car drove up to the square in front of the house. Due to the darkness and bad weather, neither the driver noticed that Zhan and Cheng were there doing push-ups, nor did they see or hear the car coming. Cheng just managed to dodge when the car started coming, but Zhan couldn't make it and was hit by the car. He flew several feet across the ground and slammed full force onto the first step of the stairs leading to the porch of the house.

Zhan was immediately unconscious and only woke up after several days in his bed. Everything hurt, and the doctor who was with him told him that luckily he only had a few bruises and a sprained hand. His father was sitting next to him at the bedside and looked as if he hadn't slept for days. He looked at Zhan with relief, but then had to leave the room briefly when he got a call.

Then, when Zhan was alone with the doctor, the doctor leaned down to him and said, "Stop shaming your father all the time. Everyone is already laughing at him because of his weak sons!" The doctor then left the room, leaving a shocked and crying 10 year old Zhan behind.

Zhan waited for minutes for his father to come back into the room, but he did not. Instead, he heard his father standing outside the room door complaining that despite all the training, his boys were not making any progress and were still so weak. The doctor agreed with him and explained that he should train his boys harder in the future.

Suddenly, a fear arose in Zhan that he might be punished by his father for having the accident and for still being so weak. This fear grew in Zhan with each passing minute and when he could no longer stand it, he decided it was better to run away.

So in his underpants and undershirt, Zhan crawled out of his bedroom window in pain and ran straight into the forest behind the house. He had no idea where to run to, he just wanted to get away.

Without knowing how long he had been running through the large dense forest, he stopped at some point, exhausted, and turned around. He had taken nothing with him and could not build a shelter, as his father had taught him. Besides, he was hungry and thirsty and the pain was getting worse. But he didn't want to go back home, moreover he wasn't even sure where his home was.

Because the weather changed again and it started to rain heavily again, Zhan looked for a shelter for the night and found an old hollow tree trunk. He crawled into it and shivered with cold and pain. At this moment at the latest, he regretted running away. Nevertheless, it was not long before he fell asleep, exhausted.

When Zhan woke up, he didn't even know if it was day or night because his eyes were swollen shut. His throat hurt a lot and his chest hurt terribly. So much so that he cried and called for his dad. But no one heard him. And at some point Zhan fell asleep again. He had phases in which he was briefly awake, but shortly after fell asleep again.

The next time Zhan woke up, he was back home in his bed. He felt terribly bad, he had a strong cough, his nose was running and he felt terribly hot. And when he looked to the side and saw his father sitting there, he immediately feared the worst.

When his father realized that he was awake, Zhan was already bracing himself for a beating because he had run away. But instead, his father took him in his arms, cried and told him he was glad he was starting to feel better. Lana explained to Zhan afterwards that his father searched for him in the forest day and night, carrying him in his arms all the way home and never once taking his eyes off him.

His father had already learned what the doctor said to Zhan. And Zhan's dad explained to him that he wasn't talking about him and Cheng that day when he talked about the weak boys, but about the men he was training to be Hitman. Zhan was relieved when his dad explained this to him and that it wasn't him and his little brother he was talking about.

The doctor was dismissed by Zhan's dad, which especially pleased Zhan. And when Zhan was feeling better and Lana took him outside for a walk, suddenly the doctor stood in front of them and held a gun in their faces. Zhan was so startled that he just froze and held Lana's hand very tightly. The next moment Zhan heard a very loud bang and saw the doctor look to someone behind him and Lana, completely horrified, and fall to the ground.

Zhan's father came to him and Lana, took Zhan in his arms and said, "No one will ever hurt you! I'll take care of you my dear boy." Zhan's father was never again as kind as he was during those days when Zhan was sick and until a few days after. Still, Zhan knew that his father loved him very much. Even if in this twisted and strange way.

When Zhan woke up, he sat upright in bed and wondered why he had to think of his father today of all days, and at this exact time? When Zhan looked at the date on the calendar, however, he understood. Because his father's birthday would have been in two days.

For Zhan, that meant he would be going to the cemetery in two days to honor his father's memory. He only wished he could have taken Yibo with him and introduced him to his father.

After Zhan had showered, he put on one of his new suits, which suited every occasion. He had to smile when he thought about how Yibo also wanted a suit like that and it was tailored. He wondered if Yibo had worn his suit anywhere?