Warning : brief mention of sexual assault

The scene of variety show was inspired by Korean variety shows, 'Thank You for Waking Me Up – SS501' and 'Intimate Note – Super Junior'.

CHAPTER 16

Saotome had known Tokiya inside out given they collaborated in a lot of projects even before the blue head joined his agency. To everybody, their relationship had been like a father and a son but the materialistic Saotome which not all people were familiar with only saw Tokiya as a puppet.

And tonight was the first time for Tokiya to learn about the sordid side of his boss. It was right after he was sexually assaulted by his senior, Kouda Shin who was also the producer of his and Masato's new movie.

The T of STARISH was currently standing in the living room of Saotome's lavish house, facing the founder of Shining Agency. His hair was messy and lost its usual style while his grey shirt which he wore together with an unbuttoned jacket was wrinkled. Yet, the most interesting feature for Saotome was Tokiya's blue eyes which were partly veiled by his long bangs. It was not a usual glower that he would cast when he was about to explode at his co-workers for slacking off on their job nor when Otoya had been too much with his pestering. Rather it was deathly and full of detestation.

Saotome did not have any idea how much Tokiya hankered after stabbing his lips which kept smirking instead of apologizing.

"I know," Saotome initiated nonchalantly. "I know how you're feeling right now. I understand it but I don't think we should settle it here. You don't want my maids to find out those embarrassing things about you, right?"

Listening to the lively voice, Tokiya really wished he could kill his president right now. Lucky for him, his scarce rationality only let him balled his shaky hands into fists. Without words, he trailed after Saotome, heading for the second floor. As he moved, all the pain and repulsion that flew through his body callously reminded him of what happened to him a few hours ago at one fell swoop.

He did hear a lot of rumors that the producer, Kouda Shin was interested in men but he never thought that all this time, the senior who he addressed as Kouda-san would have such feeling towards him.

Tokiya's mind was chock-full of oaths towards his president and Kouda when he was standing opposite of Saotome's office table. The legendary singer was still smiling at the idol which led him to look at anything but the old man. Yet, Tokiya found himself feeling more appalled at the countless trophies around him. One of the trophies that almost made him wanted to spit at was The Best Tycoon of the Year.

He lost his respect for his president more and more.

"You don't have to meet me this soon, you know? You should go back to your dorm first and take a shower."

"Take a shower? For what?" Tokiya asked vacantly, eyes were glued to the floor. It sounded like a stupid question but God knew how he used it to veil how nasty he felt inside.

"I know you're still shocked, Tokiya. It still doesn't feel comfortable, right?" Saotome said as he approached Tokiya who was glued to the spot. "It's normal since it's your first time. Soon, you'll get used to it. But seriously, that guy... I did tell him to make a beginner like you sleep instead of putting a 'rape drug' in your drink."

"So, that means there'll be second, third and so on?" Tokiya asked as he lifted his head. He wanted to yell but his frame was too numb with wrath. "That's why you want me to take a shower as soon as possible. It'll obliterate the sins that you and Kouda-san have committed to me."

"Of course. Do you want your friends to know that you just slept with a man?" Saotome chuckled. This time, his jokes were not only lame but revolting. "When they all believe that you're straight?"

"Why did you do that, president?" Tokiya said, almost whispering. He lost his voice since it felt like both his disappointment and misery strangled him in unison. "All this time, I looked up to you and I even wanted to be successful like you. Why did you do that?"

"It's because you can bring more profits to everyone, Tokiya. You're the most valuable asset in our agency and you should be honored with that."

"But why I felt like you just treated me like a plaything?" Tokiya asked again. "I never gave consent to something like this but why did you..."

"Come on, Tokiya. You felt miserable because you keep thinking that such a thing is abnormal. You should tell yourself that..."

"That's totally abnormal! What president would make his idol getting assaulted like that!? Are you freaking kidding me!?" At last, he reached his breaking point, screaming at the top of his lungs. He could care less with how funny and throaty his voice sounded. "I didn't join your agency so that you can treat me like a prostitute!"

"I guess you're still dense in this matter. I don't blame you. You're still 21 years old after all," Saotome reasoned out. It seemed to Tokiya that the man was treating his outburst worse than a child's tantrum. "You have been in this industry since you were 13, right? I am sure you've heard some rumors."

"So, are you saying I am one of the victims now?"

"You aren't supposed to call yourself a victim, Tokiya. No, you're not a victim," Saotome said. Again, he was treating Tokiya like a child with an anger issue. "In fact, they will reward you more jobs, more screen times, and the most important thing is more income. You should be happy because they chose you when a lot of idols nowadays are still struggling for those things."

"I don't want them if it means I am going to get assaulted again," Tokiya said, firmly. "I might not be sainted like Masato but I still have dignity. I won't let them do whatever they please. I have a right to refuse."

However, his remark caused Saotome to lose his smirk. Instead, it was his turn to look daggers at the idol.

"Too bad. You're going to serve those who want you. There are five of them and I believe more will come soon."

"I won't allow that," Tokiya replied, almost simultaneously. His body started to tremble with the thought of there were more 'animals' out there, waiting for him.

"Excuse me? What do you mean by 'allow'?" Saotome mocked as his smirk returned to his lips. "Do you really mean you won't allow that? So, should you allow that to happen to your friends instead?"

"What?"

"Just use your brain like you usually do, Tokiya. Use it," Saotome added as he pushed Tokiya's head. "Just why did I frequently pair you up with Masato? It's because he has a sainted image and you're the carbon copy of him. Since that particular quality is meant for him, you guys cannot carry the same image. You, Tokiya should be the opposite him. Just like how there are always the smart and athletic twins, you will be the Stripper when Masato is the Saint."

It felt like the order came from hell, let alone to imagine how his future in the showbiz would be. Up until now, he never imagined himself as a person who 'sold' his body for a living.

"That's not funny, president. I am an idol, not a..."

"Your level is way different from your teammates, Tokiya. In this industry, it's normal when a versatile idol like you is secretly chosen to serve the VIPs. You have a great figure so just make use of it! Their mouths will totally be sealed. They never spill the beans as long as you do your job. Even the super-rich Nakamura Yuna is also interested in you. Can you imagine how luxurious your life will be, Tokiya?"

"STARISH has been the best-selling group. So has our senior, QUARTET NIGHT. What else do you want, president? You even have a sought-after composer like Haruka."

"It's not enough. Shining Agency is still on a par with Raging Entertainment so I will do whatever it takes to crush that freaking company," Saotome declared. His eyes flashed creepy determination as the rival company was mentioned. "So, in order to reach the goal, I will use you, Tokiya. You belong to me so you'll do as I say."

"I am not an object!"

"Your parents ditched you so basically nobody owns you! Instead, as stated in your contract, you'll do whatever the agency wants including to be the Stripper. Soon, people also will see you in that way so you can't run from that, Tokiya! You got me!?"

Tokiya could only stare at Saotome. All kind of detrimental feeling hastily swallowed his energy and stunned him inside.

"I can see it, Tokiya. You still want to rebel. You want to file a lawsuit or something, right? How clichéd. Just so you know, countless idols from the previous generation did that against their company but they lost. Instead, they suffered more for the rest of their life. People don't even remember them anymore so don't you ever dream of it. Or else, I will pick your friends to do your job instead. Do you want an innocent freak like Otoya to replace you? Or perhaps, I can pick Cecil who always says that he appreciates STARISH shits and what not? It's your choice, Tokiya."

That marked the end of their dispute. Tokiya knew he was totally defeated once his friends were mentioned.

"Or... I can make Haruka do it instead. I bet there are still VIPs who love an innocent girl like her. She'll be easy to manipulate."

No.

Tokiya could care less about how long did he take a shower in the bathroom until Otoya knocked on the door.

"Tokiya, are you okay?"

"Otoya, are you awake already? Sorry if I..."

"No... it's okay. I just want to tell you that the president sent a text."

It took all for Tokiya to maintain his composure. The last person that he wanted to hear about in this very early morning was his president.

"Oh, really? What's it about?" Tokiya asked, wearing his bathrobe. He fixed it so that it would fully cover his chest.

"He said that the 'Good Morning, Idols!' team will shoot about us at seven. He asked us to prepare and spruce up our room..."

Shucks!

Why today when he was really not in the mood to act happily on camera after being tormented physically and mentally since a few hours ago?

He had a hunch that Saotome was indirectly threatening him by using his friends.

"Tokiya? Yoo-hoo?" Otoya's voice followed by a few small knocks.

"Sorry," Tokiya pulled the door open and that was when Otoya's red eyes widened. They kept staring at him for seconds.

What's with that look? Did he see something? The fearful side of Tokiya started to feel the goosebumps. He eyed himself carefully and only found out that he was fully covered.

"What's wrong?" He braced himself to ask which made Otoya gasped.

"I know it! You have a fever, don't you!?" Otoya said, pointing at his roommate's face.

"Huh?"

"I thought that your voice sounded throaty but now when I looked at your face, I know you have a fever! That's what you get for taking a long shower, Tokiya!"

Typical Otoya.

But thanks to his typical side, Tokiya just realized that he had a fever. He put his hand on his forehead, followed by his neck.

Ah, the temperature...

Was it because of his overnight suffer or the long shower? He did not know.

"Come on! You have to take a rest. I will ask the president to give you a rest for today's schedule," Otoya frantically pulled his arm before quickly dragging him to their room.

"Wait, Otoya! Be careful! The floor is still slippery, Otoyaaa!"

Sometimes, Tokiya was positive that Otoya's soles could nullify slippery floor. He could move around freely without being cautious.

"I am sorry, Tokiya," Otoya said from the top bunk while hugging a pillow.

"It's okay," Tokiya mumbled from the bottom bunk.

Due to Tokiya's fever, Otoya insisted him to sleep on the bottom bunk instead of his top bunk. It was normal for them since Tokiya was sick a lot and all of them were caring enough to look after him.

"I can't believe the president doesn't let you skip 'Good Morning, Idols'. He said something like 'it's not like Tokiya has to run or enter a marathon'."

"He does have a point though," Tokiya said, along with bitter chuckles.

"Your meeting with the Kouda-san ended late, right? Is it really you and him only?"

Yes, and it's not even a meeting. It's a hell, Otoya.

"Yes."

"That's weird. Why he didn't call Masato along?"

He won't because the 'meeting' was fake.

"That's not even a meeting, Otoya. He just called me because he needed someone to hang out," Tokiya replied. "Since it has been a long time since I met him."

"I see. Then, I suppose you go to sleep first. We have two hours left before the shooting starts so good night, Tokiya."

"Thank you, Otoya. Good night."

Exactly two hours later, the shooting began. Apparently, the showbiz had been way too 'creative'. They even wanted to expose the idols' bare faces and bed hairs in the morning so that the rating would go up. It was extra work for them to keep their skin healthy so that the camera did not even catch even a pimple on their faces.

Being the first one to wake up given himself was a light sleeper, Tokiya ended up helping the emcees wake his teammates up. After encountering various kind of STARISH's sleeping habits, they continued with breakfast session. Much to Cecil's dismay, they had to play a game which savagely tested their knowledge in Kanji writing and Japanese idioms. The only foreign member of STARISH ended up merely eating seaweed since he got the last place.

The next session was proceeded with confession game. For those who had a pent-up frustration towards their teammates, they would shout it from the rooftop. Much to Tokiya and Masato's bewilderment, the other five quickly left them with a string of smiles that deserved slaps.

"We're here to complain about the twins! Their sweet brotherhood should be destroyed today!" Syo yelled enthusiastically. The fashionable freak in him did not even bother to comb his hair primly.

"Yeah, it feels like we just gained ourselves a nagging mum and dad," Cecil supplied.

"What did you say!?" Tokiya and Masato shouted back. It was almost in unison and powerful enough to make them flinched. "Say it again!"

"As expected from the twins," One of the emcees, Matsuda commented out of amazement, followed by his partner's nods. "They even shouted the same thing. Ichinose-san, is your throat doing fine?"

"Yes, it's," Tokiya replied. "I am all fired up to defeat them."

"We don't nag. We just pester them," Masato reasoned out.

"Huh? Is that the same thing?" The second emcee, Kazunari pointed out.

"I guess the twins are angry already. I suggest after we complain, we say something sweet like 'I love you' or something along the line?" Ren supplied. He was the person who knew it very well how it felt like when Masato made somebody pay the price. "I believe it will soothe them immediately."

"Yeah!"

"No!" Only Syo rejected the random suggestion. "Where did that come from? Just shout that we don't hate them is enough, Ren!"

"You're no fun, Syo," Ren clicked his tongue sympathetically at the grumpy guy. "Then, I guess I will start first."

"Can we just pass on this person?" Masato asked, sending all the crews and Tokiya laughed at his 'allergy' to his own roommate.

"Hijirikawa-san even called you 'this person' instead of 'Ren', Jinguuji-san. I don't think he likes you," Matsuda shouted at Ren.

"That's what I want to complain about, Matsuda-san! You, Masato! Don't you think you're being too harsh to your childhood friend? The nicest remark that I have gotten from you is 'get lost!' but Tokiya can bother you whenever he wants. That's unfair! I want some attention too!" Ren added. It took all for Masato not to pull Ren's long hair out of his skull.

"For some reason, I really want to shave his head," Tokiya said as he eyed dangerously at Ren's long hair.

"I think instead of shaving, we just have to pull his hair out of his skull," Masato added.

"These twins are so brutal," Kazunari remarked in disbelief. "I don't think you can say 'I love you' to them, Jinguuji-san. They will start an uproar."

"Because of Masato, Tokiya even started to learn swordsmanship when I took three days to drag him to play soccer. That's unfair too!" Otoya continued childishly. "But I still love you guys!"

"When one person nags, the other twin will support. They're so cute!" Unlike others, Natsuki complimented Tokiya and Masato's intimacy.

"If you think that's cute, why would you be there, Natsuki? Should you be on our side instead?" Masato asked. His puffy eyes narrowed as he cast a disapproving look towards the others.

"I really want to but they forced me to be on their side since they wanted to bash you guys!"

"Hey! Don't spill the beans, you fool!" The others reacted.

"Oh, my. We got caught!"

Tokiya was too tired but it energized him a bit to see his friends smiled and laughed like they had no pressure as the idols. Yet, they started to freak out when Masato and he listed their bad habits as revenge.

The last session which was surprising and almost caused Tokiya to fling his slipper towards the television was the hidden camera. It took place when Saotome conducted a fake meeting with him; offering him to be a soloist and left STARISH. It was supposed to be a touching moment since he insisted that he would never withdraw from STARISH but for Tokiya...

To see Saotome's face itself was very revolting. Luckily, when others hugged him out of happiness for his loyalty, it comforted him right away.

It did until he got a message from Saotome after the shooting.

You must love your friendship with your teammates, right?

Then do your job right and your teammates will be safe.

It definitely made his fever worse.

Haruka was startled by Tokiya's sudden movement. He shifted restlessly while his breathing wavered from his chest. The girl who just took a seat next to the bed after receiving a call from Otoya leaned closer, immediately noticing beads of sweat on Tokiya's forehead.

"Tokiya, do you hear me? Tokiya!" She hesitantly shook his shoulders but there was no sign that the blue eyes would open.

Instead, they still trembled in unison with his hands.

What kind of nightmare is it? He seems so scared, she thought anxiously. Feeling unsure of what to do, she grabbed his hand, squeezing it lightly.

"It's okay. I am here. No need to feel scared," she whispered. She felt stupid to coax a person who was three times braver and stronger than her in such a way but that was the only thing she could think of. This was the first time for Haruka to nurse a sick guy so she felt at a loss.

Much to her relief, Tokiya slowly relaxed, judging how his chest breathed evenly. She carefully put his hand onto his side before grabbing a handkerchief to wipe his clammy face and neck.

No wonder Otoya is very worried. His fever is very high, Haruka thought. Placing the light green handkerchief beside the pillow, Haruka could not help but stare at the sleeping face intently. Minutes passed but unlike her previously awkward moments with Tokiya when she ended up staring at him before diverting her attention from him, this time she was free to gaze at him as long as she could.

I know I am not supposed to think about this but when Tokiya's face is red like this, he looks adorable. Especially his cheeks. They look like apples. I wonder how he looked like when he's a baby, she thought, drawing herself closer to Tokiya's face. Not to mention the eyelashes... they're beautiful and long.

"Haruka."

The girl was astonished, quickly glanced at her back. It was Ringo and Hyuga, eyeing her with disapproving looks. She quickly stood up, bowing before them. Ringo was a cross-dresser with lovely and happy images to keep but right now, he looked stern with arms crossed over his chest. Even Hyuga looked much calmer, Haruka noticed that they were not pleased with her presence in the room.

"What are you doing in a boy's room?" Ringo said. A smile was formed but the aura around him was chilling.

"Huh? Well, Otoya asked me to look after Tokiya from time to time until they come back from work," Haruka explained.

"I see. Is he just sleeping? How bad is the fever?" Hyuga added, glancing at sleeping Tokiya.

"Yes, he's. It's bad and they might bring him to the medical center later."

"Oh..." Ringo exclaimed nonchalantly. "Well, since he's just sleeping and you don't have anything to do, I guess we should talk about something, Haruka. This is important."

The only thing Haruka could do was swallowing the lump in her throat.

"Huh?" was Haruka's first response. She was made sitting in the salon while Hyuga and Ringo were standing opposite her. The girl had this hunch that they deliberately did that so that she would feel intimidated and immediately obeyed them.

"I know this is sudden but you have to do this for the sake of Tokiya's career," Ringo enlightened seriously. "You have to be less close to him."

"Yes, Haruka," Hyuga added. "He's an idol and he has a lot of fans. He should be loved by a lot of people so if they find out that he's close to one particular girl..."

"But we're just friends, Ringo-san, Hyuga-san. I don't see the need why I should be less close to him," Haruka said.

"You don't see it. That's why you need to be less close to him, Haruka," Ringo said flatly. He was curving a bitter smile but Haruka knew, he was mocking her for being dense. "You just can't get it why this is important for Tokiya's career. You see... Saotome has a big plan for him. He'll make Tokiya reach the stardom until he'll be everyone's heart-throb. So, in order to reach that, he is neither allowed to date nor being close to any girl. Why? It's because he belongs to everyone. No one should be allowed to take him for herself, got it?"

Haruka lost her words.

"We're saying this because we're suspicious of your relationship from the very beginning. We know Tokiya won't do something risky for his career but we have to take the precaution. We never know what might happen between a boy and a girl especially the fact that you used to be his fan so it's best if you can avoid him," Hyuga supplied. "Don't worry. Once the no relationship rule is lifted, you're free to date any other STARISH member except for Tokiya."

That was harsh for her. Even the talking was done but Haruka felt her mind was still heavy with the sudden and cruel order.

Her hear sunk more when she rested herself beside Tokiya who was still sleeping like a log.

To imagine that she had to avoid him from time to time when she always wanted to spend time with him was...

Painful.

Ah, I guess I have been too obvious with my feeling. I thought that I hid it well. Stupid me. I should know from the start that I am a bad actress. Unlike you, Tokiya.

Our president is so harsh, right? I can't believe I have to be less close to you when we're not even in a relationship.

It's even more painful when I realized that I fell in love with you more than I thought. I suppose there is no more after-midnight talking with you after this or else I don't know if I can suppress my feeling towards you any longer.

I don't know what you feel about me but I wish you can know that I love you, Tokiya. I love you so much.

She held his hand, enjoying the touch despite the warm temperature. She loved it but for some reason, it also made tears welled up in her eyes.

Ah, this is not good. I shouldn't cry when I do this for him. Stop being ridiculous, Haruka. It's not like that they'll send him abroad or something. You still can meet him every day, Haruka thought as she blinked away her tears. I guess this is what Tomo meant by sacrificing your feeling for the sake of someone you care about. It hurts but you know you'll be satisfied afterward.

But, Tokiya... I wish we can still be friends without the need to avoid each other but I guess the adults are right. We never know what might happen in the future.

So, starting from today, I promise to you that I'll try my best to forget my feeling for you because...

I love you, Tokiya. I love you so much.

With the silent promise, she closed their distance, kissing his forehead lovingly, followed by his red cheeks.

That's all for chapter 16. If you have something to say about this chapter, feel free to drop a comment :)