﹝105 dayѕ вeғore﹞

taehyung
so i hope your phone is on silent because i'm about to bombard you with bullshit

taehyung
last year, i had my first love and it was long-distance

taehyung
i was head over heels for this dude and he basically took advantage of me 'cause i was naive

taehyung
we met on some awful dating site or whatever

taehyung
at first, i thought he was the nicest person ever because he was always so sweet to me

taehyung
when my friends and family kept telling me he was toxic and manipulative, i kept defending him

taehyung
it got to a point where i ran away and signed myself for foster care lmao

taehyung
because my family started to become too much for me, punishing me and all

taehyung
i'll tell you all about that next time but basically, they got too emotionally draining and abusive for me

taehyung
i mean, i guess i'm a little glad i did and can't blame him entirely for it

taehyung
but anyway, we kept dating online for the next two months after i ran away

taehyung
then one day, i found out he recorded me without my permission

taehyung
of course, ldr couples do virtual sex by masturbating in front of one another on camera

taehyung
i never allowed him to record me doing that

taehyung
but he did

taehyung
it fucked me up

taehyung
i literally cried my fucking eyes out and begged him to delete them but he wouldn't

taehyung
it was like he became a totally different person

taehyung
right there and then i saw him through the eyes of everyone else around me and i shit you not, i felt myself break

taehyung
yes, i was crying, so hard but then in one blink, i just felt empty

taehyung
i stopped crying and felt like nothing 

taehyung
basically

taehyung
we haven't talked ever since

taehyung
i blocked him everywhere and filed a police report against him

taehyung
of course, no one would do anything about it because fucking america sucks

taehyung
besides, his parents are rich and could easily pay off the cops 

taehyung
not to mention the distance and all

taehyung
i also told the cops i have evidence against him, a voice record of him admitting he's a fucking pedophile who has countless child porn on his files

taehyung
the cops never called me back even though they said they would

taehyung
and on top of that, who would listen to a foster kid who's basically close to being homeless and doesn't even have a penny in his pocket?

taehyung
i lost too long ago

taehyung
and there's no one to blame here but myself at the end of the day

taehyung
haha

taehyung
i dream of him quite a lot

taehyung
not every night but quite a lot

taehyung
i see him coming through my window and pinning me on my bed

taehyung
fucking the living hell out of me and using me until he's tired of me

taehyung
i see him smiling and laughing as he watches me squirm and beg for mercy

taehyung
i guess it's a little funny how i used to like it when he would make me imagine him torturing me

taehyung
it was a part of our game, you know?

taehyung
oddly enough, i always felt safe around him and thought that if we ever did act like that irl, he would stop when i tell him to

taehyung
but now i know he probably would never stop until i'm dead