9. Grief is Just Love With No Place to Go
Year: 120 AC
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The sun had dipped below the horizon by the time Daenys and Laenor's tour of Driftmark came to a close, their final destination being the castle library. It was a grand chamber, with towering bookshelves that reached up to the ornate ceiling, housing a vast collection of books, scrolls, and tomes gathered over generations. The scent of aged parchment and leather bindings enveloped the atmosphere, giving the space an air of scholarly tranquillity. As the duo entered, the soft glow of candlelight illuminated the room, casting intricate shadows upon the shelves.
Laenor led his daughter over to a large table set near an open window overlooking the moonlit sea. The sound of gentle waves lapping against the shores created a soothing rhythm as if nature itself was welcoming the impending twilight. Laenor walked over to one of the shelves, pushing aside several books to reveal a hidden nook. He reached inside and drew out a set of cards, eyes lighting up at the sight of them.
"They're exactly where we left them..." his voice trailed off as if lost in a memory.
Time had surely flown by, and once more he found himself mourning the childhood he shared with his dearest sister, now cut short forever. A wave of nostalgia washed over him. His gaze turned to a corner of the room where an ornate reading chair sat, draped with a worn velvet throw. He could almost see her there, his lovely Laena, with her laughter ringing in the air like the faintest of echoes. Being a twin was a strange thing. They had entered this world together, and it felt strange to exist in it with her gone. She had been his constant companion in this vast castle, her presence infusing every brick, every stone, every fibre of the place itself. He saw her again, in his mind's eye, sitting cross-legged on the floor as she read aloud to him.
The tapestries that adorned the walls seemed to hold her spirit within their threads as well. She had often traced their intricate patterns with her fingertips, her eyes alight with wonder at the tales they told. Now, those tapestries were a mosaic of memories, a visual testament to the bond they had shared. Each thread was a strand of their intertwined lives, woven with joy, laughter, and, inevitably, the pain of her untimely departure.
A gentle tug at his tunic drew him out of his thoughts, bringing him back to the present.
"Kepa.." Daenys mumbled softly, "You look sad again."
Laenor patted her head and shook his head, tears in his eyes, "No, my little flower. I am not sad. I simply have so much love for her... and now...and now it has nowhere to go. Grief is just love with no place to go."
Daenys nodded, mouthing the words to herself.
Laenor set his deck of cards on the table by the window. They were intricately designed, each one depicting scenes of dragons, sea creatures, and noble houses of Westeros. His lips curved into a warm smile as he motioned for Daenys to take a seat opposite him.
"I shall teach you a new game today. It was a favourite of mine and your Aunt Laena's."
"I bet she won all the games!"
"That she did."
With a gentle chuckle, Laenor picked up the deck of cards and began to explain the rules of the game to his eager daughter. He spoke with patience, guiding her through the intricacies of the game's strategy and tactics. As the evening progressed, Daenys' fingers became more adept, her focus unwavering as she absorbed her father's teachings.
With each round, her confidence grew as she caught onto the patterns and strategies, and before long, she was winning round after round against her father. Laenor's laughter filled the air, a mixture of pride and mock indignation.
"It seems I may have taught you too well, or you're simply too good at this."
Daenys rolled her eyes, "You're letting me win on purpose, aren't you, kepa?"
"I would never!" Laenor lifted his hand to his chest dramatically. "How dare you accuse me of foul play?"
"Kepa!"
"Daenys!"
"I want to win on my own!"
Laenor leaned back in his chair, his laughter subsiding as he winked playfully, "Very well then, let us have another round. Let us see how good you really are."
"And you have to promise not to go easy!"
"Yes, yes, I promise."
The two continued to play their game as the library's candles burned low, Laenor regaling his daughter with stories of his youth. Just then, a soft knock echoed through the library's tall wooden doors. A servant's face appeared in the doorway, an urgent expression on his face
"My lord, I apologize for the interruption, but there is a visitor in the great hall who insists on seeing you immediately," he announced.
Laenor exchanged a glance with Daenys, a silent communication passing between them. With a regretful smile, he turned to her and placed a hand on her shoulder.
"It seems I must attend to this visitor, my dear. Duty calls, I'm afraid," he explained, his tone apologetic.
Daenys pouted, her violet eyes narrowing as she whined, "But kepa, we haven't finished our game yet! Can't you go after we finish?"
Laenor turned to the servant, eyebrow raised inquisitively, "Who exactly is this visitor who requested my presence?"
"it is Ser Qarl, my lord. He says it is urgent."
"I see."
"Are you really going to leave in the middle of the game, Father?"
"I'm sorry, Daenys. I promise that as soon as I've dealt with this matter, I will return to finish our game. And then, to make up for the interruption, I will teach you all about dragon-bone dice too."
"Dragonbone dice? Are they truly made of dragon bone?"
Laenor shook his head, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small, ornately carved box. Opening it, he revealed a set of beautifully crafted dice, each one adorned with intricate designs. He grabbed his daughter's hands and set the dice in her palm.
"See if you can figure out how they're played while I'm away, and when I return, we shall see how clever my girl can be, hmm?"
Daenys hesitated for a moment, her disappointment evident, but she ultimately nodded with a small smile, "Alright. But you better come back soon, or I'll have to beat you in the new game we play as well."
"I do not doubt that you would, my clever girl. Now, I must go attend to my visitor, but I'll be back before you know it."
As Laenor left the library with the servant, Daenys watched them go wistfully. She had half a mind to follow them but she didn't quite feel like sneaking around tonight. She would just wait here patiently. She let out a sigh, her fingers idly tracing the bevelled edges of the dragonbone dice.
As the minutes stretched into what felt like an eternity, Daenys shifted from relaxation to restlessness. She had begun by gazing out of the window, watching the moon's progress across the night sky and the waves crashing against the shore. However, her patience slowly gave way to annoyance, and she found herself pacing around the library, her fingers drumming on the table as her gaze darted toward the entrance with growing frequency.
Nearly an hour had passed, and Daenys felt a growing unease. She wondered if her father had truly forgotten about their game. The castle seemed unnaturally quiet, a stark contrast to the lively laughter and conversation that had filled the library earlier. Doubts and worries began to creep into her mind, and a sense of loneliness settled over her. Then, as if in response to her thoughts, the tranquil silence shattered into chaos. A cacophony of voices, shouts, and the clashing of metal echoed through the castle's halls, sending a chill down Daenys' spine.
Pushing open the heavy doors of the library, Daenys stepped out into the corridor, her breath catching as she took in the chaotic scene before her. Castle guards hurried past, their faces grim and determined. Daenys pressed forward, her steps quickening as she followed the sounds of the commotion.
Arriving in the great hall, there was no sign of Ser Laenor Velaryon anywhere. The first thing Daenys saw, was her grandmother, Princess Rhaenys's crumpled form on the floor as she wailed, arms flailing frantically. Lord Corlys Velaryon, stood nearby, his once imposing presence now consumed by rage and frustration. He bellowed at the guards, his voice a thunderous roar that seemed to fill the hall. The guards, their faces grim and fatigued, were raking ashes out of the extinguished fireplace, as if searching for something amidst the remnants of a fire.
Confusion gripped Daenys as she struggled to piece together the fragments of the situation. Her father was missing, her grandmother was in anguish, and the hall was a scene of cold dark desolation. A feeling of helplessness washed over her, making her feel small and insignificant amid the turmoil.
"Where...where is Father?" her timid voice was swallowed by the chaos and she repeated her words a little louder.
Eventually, after several minutes, Rhaenys noticed her. Her hysterical sobs momentarily subsided as she looked up, her tear-stained face etched with grief.
"Oh...oh my sweet child..."
Daenys approached her slowly, placing her hand in her grandmother's outstretched one.
"Where's Father?"
"Laenor...Laenor is gone."
"Grandmother, Father can't be gone. He's just... he's gone to visit someone, right? He'll be back soon, to finish our card game," Daenys implored, her voice small and filled with a child's innocence.
Rhaenys's gaze was pitying as she regarded her granddaughter. She reached out and gently cupped Daenys' cheek, her touch both comforting and heartbreaking. She managed to hold back her tears long enough to try and deliver the news to the young girl before her.
"Oh, my sweet girl..." her voice broke. "Your father... he's gone. He won't be coming back."
Daenys shook her head insistently, "He'll come back. I know he will. He promised he'd finish our game. Father never breaks his promises!"
"Daenys..."
"No! Stop saying that. Stop saying that he won't come back. He'd be so sad if he heard you speak that way about him."
Rhaenys's expression remained gentle, but her eyes were heavy with the weight of truth, "I know it's hard to accept, my dear, but it is the truth."
Tears welled in Daenys's eyes and she blinked them back stubbornly.
"No, Grandmother, you're wrong," whispered, her voice choked with emotion and desperation. "You have to be."
"Daenys, please..."
Daenys felt as if the ground beneath her was shifting, her world unravelling in the wake of her grandmother's pleading words. Rhaenys was saying something else, but her words melded into each other until all Daenys heard was a faint buzz. She took a step back, her mind struggling to process the chasm that began to open up inside of her.
She shook her head again, taking a few hesitant steps away from her grandmother. Ignoring Rhaenys's calls, Daenys fled from the great hall, her footsteps echoing through the empty corridors. She ran as if driven by an unseen force, each step fueled by her need to escape the suffocating walls that held her captive with their memories and pain. Her tears flowed freely, mingling with the rush of the wind against her face as she dashed toward the seashore. Her mind latched onto a fleeting memory—the image of Laenor standing in the waves during Laena's funeral as if beckoning the sea to consume him. If he was gone, then that is where he must be, and in her childish naivety, Daenys believed that she would once again be able to pull him out of his despair.
As she emerged from the castle, the expanse of the moonlit sea stretched before her, its waves crashing against the rugged rocks that bordered the shoreline. Daenys' breath came in ragged gasps, her chest heaving from her exertion, grief, and frustration. She stood at the precipice between land and sea, the salty breeze carrying the sting of loss and the taste of endless uncertainty. With a desperate sort of hope, she rushed towards the water's edge, her bare feet meeting the cold touch of the sand and foam. Her voice trembled as she called out, her words a plaintive plea that carried across the windswept shore.
"Father! Father, it's me! Please come back!"
She stared out at the sea, her eyes wide with a fervent belief that if she called out loudly enough, if she willed it with all her might, Laenor would appear, safe and whole. Step by step, she waded further into the water, the waves rising higher and higher with each stride. She felt the chill seep into her bones, the saltwater stinging her eyes and her skin, but she paid no mind. Her focus was singular, her determination unwavering.
The water reached her waist, then her chest, and finally, it crept up to her chin. Yet, Daenys pressed on, her feet stumbling over the uneven seabed, her fingers barely breaking the surface as she continued her relentless advance. It was as if she believed that by submerging herself in the sea, she could somehow find her father in its depths and yank him back to her.
"Kepa, please!"
In her ears, the sound of her grandparent's voices grew more frantic, their cries echoing across the waves. They called her name, their urgency carrying over the distance, but Daenys remained resolute, her ears deaf to their pleas.
"Daenys! Daenys, come back!"
"Stop, child! Do not go any further!"
Without warning, a colossal wave surged forth from the sea, its sheer force catching her off guard. Before she could react, the wave crashed over her, engulfing her in icy seawater. In that moment, she was submerged, weightless, her senses overwhelmed by the rush of water and the sound of the sea. The chill of the water seeped through her clothes and into her very bones, causing her body to convulse involuntarily. For an instant, Daenys felt disconnected from reality, as if she were floating in a timeless void, suspended between the sea and the sky.
"By the gods, someone get her!"
The sensation was fleeting. Strong arms suddenly closed around her, a firm grip that pulled her from the water's embrace. Daenys gasped for breath as she was yanked above the surface, her limbs feeling heavy and numb as the cold water dripped from her clothes.
A guard towered above her, his face etched with concern and relief. His voice cut through the sound of the waves, urgent and stern.
"Princess, are you alright? You should not have ventured into the water like that."
He leveraged his arms under her small frame and hoisted her up, hauling her back to the shore, his strong frame cutting through the waves with relative ease. He deposited her on the sandy beach, where she doubled over and coughed violently. Water streamed down from her soaking hair, mingling with her tears and runny nose. Her chest heaved with sobs as she struggled to regain her breath and spit out the seawater she had swallowed.
"Daenys, what were you thinking? You could have drowned!" Rhaenys's voice was sharp.
"I...Father was here yesterday. He was here when he was sad, so I thought... I thought..."
"Oh, you poor child."
"I...I just wanted to find him!"
"Your father is not in the sea," Lord Corlys sighed.
"Then where is he? He can't be gone. He can't be!" Daenys insisted tearfully, before another fit of coughs tore through her lungs.
"Enough, Daenys. Let us get you inside. You're going to catch your death out here in the cold," Rhaenys declared.
Lord Corlys's stern exterior softened as he looked at his distraught granddaughter, her tear-stained face shining in the moonlight. Without hesitation, he gently scooped her up into his arms, cradling her against his chest. Daenys's small frame trembled as she clung to him, her sobs muffled against his shoulder.
"Shh, child," Lord Corlys whispered, his voice soothing. "We'll get you warmed up, and everything will be alright."
"But...but what about kepa?"
Daenys's wails persisted, a torrent of emotions pouring out as the weight of her grief and the intensity of her experience overwhelmed her. She buried her face in Lord Corlys' shoulder, her tears mingling with the fabric of his clothing as he carried her away from the shoreline. Rhaenys walked beside them, her gaze fixed on Daenys with a mixture of concern and tenderness. Her voice was soft as she reached out to stroke Daenys's hair and mumbled reassurances to her.
Her cries gradually subsided into sniffles, giving way to exhaustion. Her arms loosened their grip on Lord Corlys' shoulders, and she nestled her head against his chest, laying her cheek against his damp tunic. By the time he walked through the entrance, her sobs had dwindled to hiccups.
"You have to be brave alright. For your brothers. If they see you like this, they'll be even more upset."
Lord Corlys's weathered hand came up to cup her cheek, looking into her watery eyes to make her understand. Daenys's lower lip trembled but she nodded slowly.
"Good child."
He stood to leave then, to make preparations for the funeral most likely. Rhaenys then led Daenys to a warm chamber, where a fire crackled in the hearth, casting a cozy glow across the room. She helped Daenys out of her wet clothes, wrapping her in a soft, warm robe, and asked the maids to bring in something warm to drink. Rhaenys held the young girl as she cried some more, feeling strangely grateful to have someone to take care of at this moment. Her own sorrow at losing two children in a span of two days threatened to submerge her, but with this fragile shuddering thing in her arms, she couldn't possibly fall apart. Briefly, she wondered where Rhaenyra was, for the heir to the Iron Throne was nowhere to be found, even during a time of such duress. Her fingers carded through Daenys's hair until she fell into a fitful summer, and only then did Rhaenys let her own tears fall.
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A/N: not proofread at all so sry for typos. feel free to point them out so I can fix :) As usual, would love to hear your thoughts so drop a comment plz and thank u 🙏
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