That night, I had a dream. A dream of the normal days, even though they didn't feel normal at the time. I was in my room, dressing up for work. I had a cup of tea and a polony sandwich. I left the house. The early morning air was warm and humid. A gray promise of water-bearing clouds inspired a thought:

It's going to rain today.

I walked to the bus stop. The sound of loose gravel, the crunch and roll... The sound and sight of cars crossing Green Grove Drive at the speed of light... The staff bus appeared at the bend and slowed to a stop right in front of me. I boarded...

I was in the warehouse office. Everyone was happy to see me, my supervisor and my coworkers. We were laughing about something.Greg the other returns clerk threw his arm around me and said something that made me laugh harder.

It was lunch now. The fluffy clouds of dust given birth to by delivery trucks and lorries taking drinks from the plant to the warehouse The scent of damp air mixed with the aroma from the canteen... It smelled like rice and chicken.

Hmmm, my favorite...

Then, I was seated, eating... eating...enjoying.

"John"

I looked up. It was Janet. But it wasn't her, not as I knew her. Her face was contorted, twisted, and battered. She reached into her white Quality Assurance intern coat and brought out a handful of red and black pills. Her mouth stretched open and twisted like a fleshy whirlpool. She ingested all of the pills.

I backed up, knocking over my chair. I looked around; everyone was frozen in time, as if they'd just turned into statues. She grabbed my collar and lifted me off the ground. In her hand was a new batch of pills-blue and green capsules.

Prozac.

"Don't forget to take one after meals," she said in Dr. Felix's voice.

I struggled and cried out. But I couldn't produce a sound. It felt like I was drowning,suffocating...

Then a voice came from somewhere. Somewhere beyond this nightmare It was my mother's voice.

"Johnny, Johnny, what's wrong? Wake up."

The dreamscape blinks away the way a scene moves from one to the next in a movie. I was in my bedroom again. The light was on, and my mother was towering above me, an angel in her pink night dress and headwrap.

"I heard you mumbling. What's wrong?"

I sat up and grabbed the cup of water from my nightstand.

"No, uh, it was just a nightmare, nothing much."

She sat at the edge of my bed.

"Want to..."

"Nah, it was nothing. Really."

She looked at me. I didn't meet her gaze, staring at the bunch of blankets at my feet instead.

She stood up.

"If you need anything,"

I chuckled,

"Now that you say so, I could use a bucket of KFC right about now."

she smiled,

"Maybe on Friday."

"What's today"

"Sunday"

"Damn"

I was genuinely surprised. Not going out for the past two months had made the names of days a myth. Every day was just today, tomorrow, or yesterday.

"I should get some sleep."

"Is this about that girl you told me about?"

"I told you about a lot of girls."

"That's why I'm worried. You just went quiet. You just spend all your time here to yourself. We no longer talk like we used to."

"I'm sure there's more to that than just heartbreak."

"So, it is about that girl."

"What? no. I didn't even talk to her that much. It can't be about her."

"Is that what you're telling yourself?"

I looked at the starry night through the lace curtains. The moon was a dull yellow, and the stars were scarce.

"It's not about a girl. This sickness has made me...less of a person. I can't even do what I'm supposed to do. I can't even go to the shops like a normal person, much less talk to a girl."

She sighed. It hurt me to hear her do that.

"You're still young. You have a lot to learn and experience. Sometimes life seems unfair, and it is. But it's up to us to decide if things like these either bring us closer to God or further."

I thought about that, and I realized that I hadn't prayed since the breaking point.

"Yeah..."

"Besides, when you're a big-shot journalist, all these girls are going to regret leaving you on read."

"Author, not journalist."

"Like I said, still young, still experiencing."

I wrapped myself in my blankets and shut my eyes. They were burning.

"I should get some sleep. Have a big day tomorrow."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, I just might go to the garage this time."

She didn't laugh. I felt her watch me for a little while longer before she turned off the light and lightly shut the door.

When I heard her enter her room, I cried myself to sleep.