"You guys are free to go," A new police officer returns to the holding cell and opens up the door. It'd been a long, boring, uncomfortable day in this little cell that has only metal furniture. I stand up on my stiff legs and walk to the door as the officer is unlocking the cell door.

I walk out of the cell and see Gabe standing in the hallway already, looking at me with wary eyes. We'd been in separate cells all day and after lunch, he had tried to talk to me, to tell me that he was sorry and that he didn't mean anything that he said but I ignored him and then I took a nap.

Silently, we walk to the front of the police station where Cassie and Elias are already waiting for us. Gabe had given them Cassie's number so they probably called her to tell her to come pick us up. Immediately, when Cassie sees us walking out probably looking like shit, she races toward Gabe and hugs him.

I feel so defeated by today and my hand, now wrapped by a medic, still is sore but not broken or anything. Elias is staring at me from by the door where he was standing with Cassie before she jumped to Gabe and so I walk to him.

"Rough time?" He wonders curiously, noticing the look on my face which is probably one that looks like I've been through hell today. I feel like I've been through hell.

I blink at him a few times and I try to open my mouth to say something, to tell him what happened this morning or to at least tell him something but nothing comes out because I don't know what to say. I just want him to make things feel alright again. As if Elias can sense that, he leans in closer to me and hugs me, pulling me close to his body.

"I just want to go home," I mumble into his chest.

"Hey, come on, jailbird," He says as a way to make me feel better. It almost works. "We've got dinner waiting at the motel, we'll sit back and watch a movie and relax and you'll feel better."

"We're not driving tonight?"

With his arms around my shoulders, we turn around and walk to the door of the police station with Cassie and Gabe following us. "No, we got a room at the same motel as last night. Figured that you two could use some rest after the rough day you've had."

In the car, Mac is excited to see me and that makes me smile a little bit, especially as he stands on my lap to kiss my nose. Cassie drives with Gabe beside her and I cuddle Mac in the back with Elias. I can tell that Cassie and Elias want to know what happened but they seem afraid to ask so the ride back to the motel is just completely silent. I'm surprised that Gabe doesn't argue against us not driving tonight but I don't question it because I don't mind staying here.

Once we get to the motel, we all go inside and I decide that instead of just eating the pizza that Cassie and Elias ordered, I need to stretch my limbs and get away from my brother for a while. "I'm going for a run," I announce as I grab an outfit suitable for a short jog from my suitcase.

"Do you want somebody to go with you?" Cassie asks me, glancing cautiously between me and Gabe.

"No, I'm fine," I assure her before I disappear into the bathroom to get changed. I also manage to sneak two cigarettes and my lighter into my sports bra and I pull my hair into a pony tail and get ready to just run around the block. Maybe I'll revisit the park that I spent with Elias last night. I don't know where I'll go but I just want some space.

"Peyton, are you sure that you want to go alone?" Elias asks me, looking concerned as I step out of the bathroom.

I nod, plugging my ear buds into my phone and then I start putting them in my ear. "Yeah, I'm sure. Thanks for the offer but you don't even like running, you said so yourself."

"Oh, I wasn't offering," He jokes and I try to smile at his joke but due to how drained I feel, it probably just looks like a grimace.

"Peyton, hey, I'll go with you," Gabe volunteers, walking toward me to follow me outside but I don't want that. That's actually the last thing that I want right now.

"I don't want you to," I tell him. "I want you to stay the hell away from me, I just said that I want to go alone."

"We need to talk about this," He says pleadingly, looking very apologetic.

"I don't want to talk to you," I mumble stubbornly as I'm leaving the motel room. Elias and Cassie are looking on surprised because I don't think that they realized that we were so tired because we were fighting with each other, they just thought that we were exhausted because of the whole being stuck in a cement box all day.

Outside, I really do end up jogging to the park and I just stand there and stare at the yellow tunnel that attaches the two parts of the play gym. I thought that what we did last night was great and I didn't think that there was anything wrong with it because I was sure that I wasn't doing it because of Kellan or because of anything other than the fact that I like Elias. But maybe Gabe was right this morning when he said that I was just using Elias to get over Kellan without me even realizing it.

The thought that I could hurt Elias makes me feel sick to my stomach but apparently, that's just what I do.

I sit down on the swing that I had sat on less than twenty-four hours ago as I take a cigarette and the lighter out of my bra and light the cigarette.

If Gabe was right, that means that I have to stop talking to Elias, we can't even be friends because he's too good for me. He doesn't deserve to be used and the last thing in the world that I want is to hurt him. He's too kind to deserve anything like that, so I have to stop it from happening and according to Gabe, if he continues to talk to me then getting hurt is inevitable.

It'd suck to not be his friend but I have to think about him, not just what I want.

And then there's the most logical possibility, that nothing that Gabe said was true and that he only said all of that stuff just to get to me because he blamed me for us getting arrested.

I can't tell if he was so upset that he was making up lies or if he was so upset that he was telling me how he really feels deep down. Either way, what he had said to me this morning is really getting to me, it's been rotting away at me all day. Is there really something so terribly wrong with me that makes everybody jump ship? Is it my fault that our dad left or that Kellan cheated on me or that Heidi slept with my boyfriend?

I feel like I just want to bury myself in a faraway cave to never bother anybody ever again. I can learn how to draw on cave walls, I can cook beetles and bats and make friends with the sleeping bears during the winter. Never to hurt another person ever again.

I finish my first cigarette as I'm swaying lightly on the swing and I debate whether I want to go for the second one. I rarely ever smoke two cigarettes consecutively but I feel like I really need it right now. I actually rarely ever smoke, only when I'm really stressed and I need the burn in my lungs to take away some of the emotional pain. I don't think any amount of burning in my lungs could distract me from the hell that has been my day though, so I don't even try with the second cigarette.

I check my phone to see how long I've been gone but notice that I have three texts from Elias.

Hey, are you at the park?

Gabe told us what happened. I want to be there for you but if you want your space...

Okay, I'm not going to stalk you but I'll be here for you when you get back.

They make me smile. He makes me smile.

The thought that maybe someday he'll just get tired of me and go away makes me incredibly sad. Even though I've only really known him for a week now, I feel like I've known him forever and I can't imagine going back to my life without him in it. I'm not going to stop talking to him just because of what Gabe said but that doesn't mean that Elias won't leave on his own. I sure hope that he doesn't.

Whether we're friends or if we're more, it'd hurt like hell if he walked away.

I don't have a choice in that though, I just have to be myself and hope to god that it's enough for him. There's no use in worrying about that right now.

I'm on my way back. There better be pizza left!

I text Elias back and then get off of the swing, ready to jog the short distance back to the motel to deal with whatever is going on there. I can't avoid my brother forever, that's for sure.

Once I get back, I knock on the door and it's Cassie that opens the door for me, offering me a sympathetic smile.

"How was your run?" She asks as I walk into the room. Gabe is sitting in his and Cassie's bed on his phone, Elias is eating pizza and watching whatever movie is playing on the TV. Mac is playing with a chew toy that we'd gotten him at the pet store.

"Mediocre," I sigh, going to my suitcase that's resting on the bed beside Elias to get some pajamas to wear for the night.

After my shower, I take the last piece of pizza from the box and join Elias on our bed.

"I think Mac is gaining some weight," I tell him, making it a point to not turn in Gabe's direction. I'm sure that we'll be okay in the future but right now, I can barely stand to even look at him. "I know that it's only been a few days but I don't think that you can see his ribs as much."

"That's because you feed him like he's a bear," Elias tells me jokingly.

"He's a hungry man," I justify with a shrug. "And what movie are we watching?"

"I don't know what this is, we were waiting for you to come back to decide on what to watch," He says in response. It seems like the rest of this road trip is just going to be a division between me and Elias and Cassie and Gabe. I mean, with Gabe and I not talking, that's probably how things are going to go. Elias and Cassie will probably talk some but right now, the mood is just pretty divided.

"We can never agree on a movie," I remind him with a small laugh. "You guys go ahead and decide."

Elias nudges me with his elbow to get my attention because I've been focusing more on eating my pizza without getting any of it on the bed. Looking up at him, he leans closer to me and then asks, "You doing okay?"

"Sydämesi on jälleen vahvoiksi," I tell him, which is something that he had said to me at the beginning of the road trip when I was falling apart and so I wrote it down, probably spelled horrendously wrong, so that I'd remember it. I probably pronounced it terribly but Elias seems to know what I mean because it makes him smile.

"It'd actually be 'sydämeni on kunnossa jälleen' when you're talking about yourself but it was a good effort," He tells me teasingly.

"You knew what I meant though, so I'm getting the hang of it," I defend, able to actually smile for him this time because I feel like I'm finally able to relax. This is the first time this entire day that I've actually just been able to smile and relax.

"We're going to give Mac a walk," Cassie announces, pulling Gabe off of their bed to grab Mac's leash from where it's resting by the TV. "And give you guys some privacy."

Mac does need a walk so I just let them go, also a little bit eager to get some time alone with Elias just to talk. Mac is excited too, wagging his entire butt when Cassie picks up the leash and attaches it to his collar. Once they're out of the room, I'm the first one to talk.

"So Gabe told you that we fought?" I wonder with raised eyebrows. "What'd he say?"

"He just said that he felt really bad about saying a lot of terrible things but he didn't tell us what he actually said or anything," Elias tells me. "And then I told him that he's an asshole because you were just protecting him and that you've been hurt enough."

"You really called him an asshole?" I ask him with a small laugh.

"Yeah," He sighs. "I'm sure he'll get over it though."

"Gabe told me that he thinks that I'm just using you," I say to Elias, finishing off my last bite of pizza. "Whether I realize it or not, he said."

"He didn't mean it," Elias assures me. "And even if he did, you don't have to believe whatever that he said to you."

"He thinks that I'm going to hurt you," I admit, looking down at my lap. "And I really don't want to do that. I think that that's the worst thing that he said, really. Because I can't stop thinking about it and I'm scared to death that he's right."

"You've never hurt anybody in your entire life," He tells me. "You care a lot about things and you don't hold back. If I'm not afraid of getting hurt, you shouldn't be either, alright? He was just trying to get to you because, as I've said, he was being an asshole."

"You've been warned," I tell him. "I'm a parasite."

"You're just a girl trying her best," He says. "And I'm not afraid of you. Just clear everything out of your head that Gabe said to you today because it's all shit. Even Gabe knows that it's shit. I think once you get some sleep, you'll feel better."

Or YOU could make me feel better, my perverted mind starts shouting at me and of course, I want to actually say that out loud because we have the room to ourselves and we could definitely just make out like crazy until Cassie and Gabe get back but I know that we can't do that. We have things to figure out. I have things to figure out before we can to anything more than friendly again.

"I'm just tired of this road trip," I mumble, falling back onto the bed. "I'm ready to go home now and I want to sleep in my own bed."

I get under the covers and Elias chooses a movie to play on the TV while we calm down to get to bed. I text my mom goodnight and as Elias lays down beside me and starts to get on his phone.

"We have to stay platonic until we get some real time to talk about things," I tell him even though I've already assumed that he knows that much. I just think that we should make that clear.

"Yeah, I've figured. It's the smart thing to do," He says with a nod. He puts his phone down to give me more attention.

I scoot closer to him on the bed. "There's such thing as platonic cuddling, right?"

He scoots closer to me under the blankets and I kind of push myself into him until he wraps his arms around me. "Maybe not but we can sure make it a thing."