not very serious talk! (???)

but hey!!!

i felt like talking about this!!!!!

JUST MY THOUGHTS. DON'T ATTACK ME.

most of this won't make sense LMAO

first off, everything below? 100% true. i'm not being humble. i'm not pretending, i'm not 'sugarcoating' my words. none of that. i'm speaking genuinely about this lil thingy goin on!

this is a certain perspective from me, an 'author.'

the thing is: i don't think my writing is good enough.

and SOME OF YOU MAY BE THINKING, "what? don't say that! you write better than me. you're a good writer." and again, please know i am NOT thinking highly of myself. if we put this into a general perspective, this is usually the feedback that authors get when they express how they feel like their writing isn't enough/isn't good.

that statement gives me encouragement. but it doesn't fully reassure me.

I GENUINELY APPRECIATE THAT KIND OF FEEDBACK. not because i am apparently 'better' at writing than the person who provided the support, but because it gives you a sense of... something near comfort, right?  again, i feel like i have to remind you guys: i do not claim that i am better than anybody on this site. anyone can write. i just-- okay, let's not elaborate on that, but you get the point.

okay, sure, some of y'all may think that my writing is somewhat near above average, or maybe not even near average at all. (that's okay, it's your opinion, and i think so too tbh lmao). but if you think my writing is good and i don't, you have to understand that some authors... they strive to get this feeling where they can be fully satisfied with their work. someday, we may never reach that, because as time goes on and as we all improve, our standards obviously rise as well.

you think i'm good, and i don't, but i thank you for your opinion. it's what encourages me to keep writing, really. but the thing is, we've read our content over and over again during the stages of editing/revising, to the point where we can't really see whether or not we've improved, and all of a sudden the writing seems so... bland. meanwhile, readers get a first look on the works we've published, so they don't really see that blandness. because it's their first time seeing it. it's fresh to them. it's not repetitive because it's the first time they've read it!

idk if it's just me but yeah

anyway, since we see our story in a different perspective and y'all see yours in a different one as well... i may never be able to be confident enough in my work because of that. and that's okay. if y'all are satisfied, i am too!!! i'm just here to have a good time and make y'all happy with cliche ass stories, you know?

but wAIT i'm not telling y'all to stop the nice ass feedback and words of encouragement because it won't change anything. NO! it's what keeps us writers going, right? right. :D maybe

okay none of that made sense

and this just took a turn, because: no matter what your eyes tell you (fucks sake my writing sucks), please believe in yourself. huh?? does that make sense?

anyway

here's the thing

my english teacher once told my dad, "martha (me) is a good writer. she just doesn't know that."

...enough said, really...

THIS DIDN'T MAKE SENSE BUT HELLO I JUST WANTED TO VENT A BIT

SO ANYWAY

keep writing.

keep chasing down that feeling of satisfaction!

when you grab onto it, PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU DESERVE IT!

i'm not making sense but

i love you all bye!!