Hey, lovelies! Yes, I am still writing this story. In fact...............it's the FINALE chapter!🎉 Ta da!🎉 And there will be a sappy happy epilogue too.😎

And on this note, I'd like to apologize to all those who left positive and significant comments for not replying. I have no excuse, really. Only that I am going through some severe psychological changes and it's ruining me in a way. I read all your words and honestly, they are the only thing left now to motivate me for writing. Please, do not think your comments do not matter or I am a snob writer who does not value her readers. Nothing can be further from the truth. If you guys are reading the author's note since the beginning of this story, you probably know what kind of shit storm my life has become.

Anyway, about this chapter: It's different and I hope you guys like it.

An important note, along with YuZhou, I might start writing YuLong or WeiLan (show: Guardian) fanfics too. Just a heads up.

Lastly, I am dedicating this story to my Mum.❤ She was with me when I started it. She would always ask about the progress of my stories, wanted to know how the readers were liking a new chapter and made sure I had time to write. She took up what Dad used to do and became my biggest motivation. I miss her. So much. My parents were my source of light. without them I am completely blind now.

And all of you, who have been with this story from the start, you share a part of my life. I am forever grateful to you lovely, lovely people for all the kindness you have showered upon me. And even if you are a silent reader, I am still grateful to you. I love you all, truly. 💕

Hope you enjoy the read.

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Chapter-16

Dinner was a hasty affair, charged with palpitating tension. Johnny had bought a variety of items but none seemed to be inclined to indulge in them. Timmy was jittery, so much so that he missed to pick a piece of fish with his chopsticks till Johnny picked it up for him and held it to his lips, which, in turn, painted Timmy with an embarrassed blush.

"I'm...sorry..I.."

"It's okay," Johnny lightly touched Timmy's hand, "I am nervous too."

Timmy's head lifted a bit, turning towards him and for a moment it looked like he would clasp back Johnny's hand but did not in the end.

Dinner concluded shortly after that and for a moment Johnny kept pacing and glancing at Timmy awkwardly, not knowing what he should do to make the other man a bit comfortable, who was sitting quietly at the couch, back straight, hands curled over his knees, head bowed.

"Do you want to take a shower? I usually have one before going to-" Johnny stopped just in time before saying the B-word, but the way Timmy's head snapped up, he doubted it was a successful botch.

"Okay..." Timmy said, "I mean, that would be good, thank you."

Uh-oh! Reverting back to formalities....so not good. Timmy brought a backpack with him that Johnny had put behind the sofa along with his own messenger bag. He opened it while asking, "Did you bring a change?" and saw a formal shirt inside.

"Yes, I have a spare," Timmy got up, "It's in my bag...If you, please, hand me-"

"This won't do. Wait here," Johnny zipped up the bag again and hurried towards his bedroom and heard Timmy saying, "Huh?"

Physically Johnny was both bigger and taller than Timmy but considering it's just for the night and if things went right, this would not stay on Timmy for much longer, Johnny took out a clean, cotton t-shirt, a pair of pajama bottoms and headed out to the living area.

Timmy was still standing at the same spot, like a punished school boy. Suddenly, all Johnny wanted was to hug him and bury his face in those ebony curls. He did neither, however.

"Here, take these. They are clean," he extended the clothes so that they touched Timmy's chest.

"Oh! But-" Timmy fumbled for a bit, holding them carefully, "I have a change-"

"Yeah, I saw. These are more comfortable, take them."

"But-"

Johnny booped his nose, "Just go!"

Surprised by the gesture, a nervous laugh huffed out of Timmy and he asked Johnny to tell him the direction. Johnny physically turned him and pushed him till they reached the bathroom. He gave a detailed description of what was where and yelled, "Leave some hot water for me!" when the door closed on him.

But his teasing smile slipped off the moment the door was shut. Timmy was in his bathroom, taking a shower. This simple knowledge rankled him in a way that he had to bend over, resting his hands on his knees, a breath whoosing out of his lungs. He had dreamt of something like this but never dared to hope. Timmy, the shy, quiet, reserved Timmy, took a step outside his comfort zone and let go of his fear for him.

Timmy chose him.

"How much deeper will I fall for you?" Johnny asked the bathroom door in a whisper and closed his eyes. Timmy, his Timmy, had done his part, he had come more than half a way and now it was Johnny's turn to take a step. His time to do something.

And the first thing he needed to do was.....to change the sheets! Straightening up he thought back for a second- had he even made his bed this morning?- and ran to his bedroom.

Johnny was not the kind of bloke that would worry about the quality of his bed sheets; as long as they did not itch, he was okay with them but tonight, taking out a clean set, he wistfully thought of having satin sheets. Timmy was very sensitive to touch and...well, he had heard satin sheets were romantic.

But his cotton ones would have to do for now as he did not fancy himself going out and buying pricey sheets in the middle of the night.

He was picking up and throwing his stray clothes in the laundry basket when with a gust of steam Timmy came out of the bath.

Skin wet and flushed, damp hair hanging lose in stringy strands; the long eyelashes were wet and curled together upwards, eyes flickering on the floor, unseeing. The tee was too big on his thin frame; the pajamas too long and falling lose under his feet. Fingers twisting the hem of the t-shirt.

He looked impossibly young and Johnny really, really wanted to kiss him.

"Hey," he said, partly to let Timmy know where he was and partly to distract himself.

Timmy's head turned towards his voice. In a small space, it was easier for him to find the source of a sound correctly. "Um..hey," he said back hesitantly.

"You found everything you needed? Was the water hot?"

"Yes, everything was there. It was all right. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For...uh..for letting me shower?" He sounded uncertain and a bit bashful.

Johnny had moved already within touching distance from him. Now, he could not help but stretch his hand and ruffled those soggy curls on Timmy's head. "You are really something else," he snorted a laugh, "thanking me for 'letting you shower' while you flew miles to come to me."

Two red spot appeared high on Timmy's cheeks and he bowed his head more. Johnny grinned at his adorable reaction but decided to stop embarrassing him for now.

"Have you left some hot water for me?" He changed the topic.

And Timmy immediately relaxed, "Oh, yes, there is. I haven't used too much...or I-"

"You did use more water than two spoonfuls though, right?"

"Yes, I did," Timmy replied and to Johnny's relief, smiled for the first time after coming here.

An identical smile appeared on Johnny's face and he said, "Give me five minutes. I'll take a quick shower and be back in a jiffy."

"Yes, of course."

XOXOXOX

It was another dilemma altogether when Johnny was in the shower. Initially he wanted to have a quick scalding hot shower but seeing a wet Timmy had some Viagra effect on his hormones and he did not think it would be helpful if he jumped the man again.

He looked down to his, thankfully, still flaccid cock and said, "You'd behave tonight, won't you?"

The cock stayed quiet with its head down like a deceptive little devil and did not say anything.

Johnny's lips pursed. "It's that or ice cold shower, what will be your pick?"

At the mention of a cold shower, tough, he could feel his cock shrinking in fear and gave a satisfactory nod, "Good choice. We don't want to scare Timmy or you and your balls will turn royal blue very soon."

The cock stared at the floor obediently and stayed that way the entire duration of the shower, a hot one.

XOXOXOX

Timmy was sitting on the sofa, spine straight, head lowered a bit, balled hands resting on his knees when Johnny got out of the shower. His posture screamed of coiled tension and it was up to Johnny to do something about it.

He went to him but made sure to make some noise along the way, so as not to startle the man.

"Hey," he said and hesitating for a fraction, touched the chin to lift Timmy's head up. For a golden moment their eyes met before Timmy's pupils flickered away and his ears turned red.

"Hey," his answering voice was small, quiet.

Still holding the chin and rubbing circles on the cheek with his thumb, Johnny smiled at him, "Over thinking again?"

Timmy's face flushed and he tried to put Johnny's hand away but instead, his hand was now held tightly and Johnny tugged at it.

"Come on, let's go to the balcony. Get some fresh air, come on!"

The balcony was a small patch of opening that overlooked a side of the city from its seventeenth floor height.

A blow of thick, rain soaked air greeted them as soon as they stepped out. Had it been raining?

"It rained." Timmy remarked absently as he spread out his hand to catch stray raindrops if there was any.

Johnny looked at him.

They were standing side by side, leaning against the railings; Timmy's eyes were wide open towards the sky, one arm stretched, another holding the rails. Tousled hair being tossed around by the wind. His face was like a canvas, waiting to be painted by the wonders of the world. Johnny had never seen a sight so beautiful.

And suddenly there was an ache inside his chest.

Love hurt. It did.

"Do you see darkness?" Johnny asked, staring ahead.

Timmy's hand came down and he looked contemplative for a moment. Then smiled a little, "How would I know? It can be purple, green, yellow or all the colours in the world. Why choose darkness when I can have all the lights? It's all my imagination anyway."

"Is it?" Johnny asked after staying quiet for a moment. They were still facing the horizon ahead of them. "And how am I to you? Darkness or light?" He might have said it in his usual off handed manner but he waited for the answer with butterflies in his stomach. He knew Timmy had chosen him; Timmy being here was the proof of that but his heart needed more, wanted more, craved more. It was greedy.

Wind rustled around him in the fallen silence. It might have been a moment, might have been a light year.

"You are so bright that I can feel it on my skin," the words were hushed, almost getting lost in the folds of the night breeze, "Your light blinds me all over again."

Love was an ache in the chest. A lump in the throat. Love hurt.

But it was a painful bliss.

Timmy did not flinch, like he usually did, when Johnny turned him and caged him with his hands against the rails on either side of Timmy's body. All within a wink of an eye.

Their faces were only a hairbreadth away, Johnny's eyes roaming all over that face like a wild, desperate animal. Timmy's eyes were set on Johnny's lips, where the hot breaths were coming from.

"Be mine."

A shiver ran through Timmy's body and his eyes close, "Why.....why me?" The whisper asked. "Why me when you can have anyone?"

Johnny leaned closer, mouth against Timmy's left ear. The skin was burning. "Why choose the stars when I can have the Sun?..................I have been blind, Timmy, so blind before you came into my life. You gave me light."

Fingers curled around and bunched up the front of his shirt as Timmy clutched it. His eyes were tightly shut, face crumbling; thin shoulders shook from the effort.

"I'm....scared, Johnny."

"Me too. I'm scared too. But..........let's be scared together, all right?"

And Johnny hugged him. Nose deep in that soft hair that smelled of petrichor.

And Timmy hugged him back. With his face burrowed into the neck that smelled of warmth.

And the rain began to drop....one...two...three...one...two..three...one...two...three...

XOXOXOX

They stood in the pitch black of the bedroom, facing each other. Johnny had sealed the room so tightly that not even a peep of light could pass the threshold. It was needed. They needed this darkness to find their light. Together.

Johnny stood there without a stitch of cloth on him. Timmy stood opposite him, fully covered.

The silence between them was deafening.

"See me," he said and heard a shaky breath left Timmy. He could not see the other person but all his other senses were heightened, making him aware of even a slightest imbalance in the air surrounding him.

"See me," he repeated when nothing happened.

Long moments went by and the darkness thickened.

Then came the touch. Three fingertips brushed over his collarbone and retracted immediately, as if scared. Johnny waited for them to come back. And they did. More confident than before. Feather light touches became more prominent when a cold palm rested on his left pectoral. Johnny's skin burned against the coldness. Another hesitant palm joined in after a while, placing itself on Johnny's right side. Then both palms glided sideways towards his shoulders. They felt up the width and shape of his shoulders, the texture of his skin before moving on to his back. Johnny could almost hear the soft steps on the floor when Timmy went and stood behind. The hands were now mapping his shoulder blades, swiping over the valley in between them. Fingers trailed along his spinal cord, counting every vertebra and stopped at the dip of the small of Johnny's back.

"Go on, please," Johnny gave the unasked permission and after a second, the hands resumed their exploration.

Timmy ghosted over the swell of his buttocks; he did not linger but did not skip them either. Johnny felt touches that slid down the back of his legs and stopped to feel the shape of his calves, his ankles, feet and the gaps between each toe. With that Timmy returned to the front again.

Johnny stood still without moving an inch. Fingers began to travel up. The shin, knees, lower thighs, upper thighs, the juncture where the pelvis met the-

The hands stopped but did not retract like before. Asking for permission and showing the eagerness at the same time.

"I want you to see all of me. If you want the same, take it."

Timmy was holding him with his palms flat on both hipbones and Johnny was hyperaware of each contact of the skin.

Then the right hand left the touch and after a while, there was a hand on Johnny's lower abdomen that lowered further and his penis received the same eager yet controlled treatment like the rest of his body.

There was nothing sexual about it. This was meticulous, precise, and almost scientific. There were times when just looking at Timmy Johnny would become hard but now, not even a twitch could be felt and he was thankful for it. He did not want his libido to ruin this pure moment. And it was pure. The purest touch he had ever received other than the parental care. This whole experience was spiritual to him.

Timmy's hands were warm now, warmer than Johnny's skin and they trailed over his flanks, counting the ribs, brushed over the chest, revisited the pecs and circled his throat and neck. He swiped his thumb over the Adam's apple to know its shape, followed the movement of a swallow Johnny made.

They both knew Timmy was derailing, taking time before "seeing" what he wanted to see the most and Johnny felt the anticipation rolling off him in waves.

First the thumbs, then the rest of the fingers reached up and touched his cheeks. They splayed over the expanse, blunt nails scratched against the invisible stubble that would sprout during the night. The jaw line was traced with equal attentiveness.

Timmy was cupping Johnny's face; his breathing had quickened abruptly. Johnny could feel the little puffs of exhales on his face. He held his own breath.

Like a child feeling up its mother's face, Timmy patted the entire visage: the forehead, temples, the bridge of the nose, the shape of his lips, his chin. Then, put both hands over the entire face and stood still.

A clock ticked by in the silence.

Four fingertips on each, Johnny's close eyelids were touched. Reverent, tentative. First they traced the shape of the lids, then softly brushed the lashes, careful like touching the petals of a vulnerable flower.

"I......see you,"

Barely a whisper, more like a muttered thought. Johnny's hands curled into fists in order to restrain himself from reaching out. He would never interrupt this moment.

"I see you."

The words were more audible this time but the voice had acquired a watery diction.

"I see you now," Timmy's voice broke in the middle, "I see you now."

Flinging his arms around Johnny's neck Timmy hugged him like the earth hugged the last ray of sun.

"I see you now."

Securing this fragile man within his strong grip, Johnny poured all his longing, his desire, his dreams into his answering hug.

"You finally see me."

"I see you."

Both of their voices were muffled and manic. Johnny gave out a deep, shaky giggle and tasted salt on his own lips. Had he been crying?

Two men, one naked, one fully clothed, hugging each other in the darkness, whispering, giggling, crying, shivering. Loving. It was a joy they had never experienced before.

"Timmy?"

The hold around his neck tightened.

"Can I kiss you now?"

Timmy did not answer.

"Let me kiss you, please." Johnny begged; he was desperate.

"I never....I have never...." Timmy mumbled into the crook of Johnny's neck.

"I will show you, let me, please?"

After moments of hesitation, Timmy untangled his limbs and stood apart but still within Johnny's arms.

"Stop thinking. Just feel," were Johnny's words before he cupped Timmy's jaw on either side, lifted his head up and swopped down to capture those lips with his own.

The kiss was not shy, it was tender. It was not a kiss shared between teenagers but between two men. The arms that held each other were strong; the lips that caressed each other were confident; the hearts that beat together were unwavering. They were not equal in many ways but one thing was common for both of them: they were having their first love's kiss.

When Johnny sucked on those lips, Timmy's nails dug into those toned flesh of Johnny's chest but as the kiss deepened with Johnny inserting his tongue into Timmy's hot, wet and quivering mouth, slowly Timmy's body uncurled. With one arm snaking round that strong neck, he buried his other hand in Johnny's hair and pulled himself flush with Johnny's body.

Fire of arousal lit up in Johnny's nether region and he stopped before things got harder. He still had one task left to do.

"I want to see you now," he said. His eyes had grown accustomed to the dark, enabling him to see when Timmy looked confused. Johnny elaborated, "We are in the pitch black. I had made sure that we did this while on the same footing. You have seen me and now, I want to see you the same way."

"But...you see me all the time," Timmy asked rather than stated.

"Not that kind of seeing. I want to see you with my hands. I want my fingertips to remember every inch of you."

When Timmy still looked uncertain, Johnny hurriedly added, "It won't be sexual, I promise. I won't do anything that would discomfort you."

After a long and hesitant pause, Timmy gave his consent with a jerky nod. This permission was a testament itself how much he trusted Johnny and Johnny was determined to treasure that trust. He meant every word when he said he would not take advantage of this chance. He really wanted to feel Timmy tonight. Just feel him, get acquainted with his body so that he could see him even with his one sense impaired.

The first thing he did was to remove the tee from Timmy. It was not chilly in the room but Timmy shivered nonetheless. Johnny dropped a chaste, dry kiss on his right shoulder before standing behind him.

And closed his eyes.

Timmy's hair was soft to his touch. It was thick, short, clean and soft. The baby hair on his nape tickled the fingers. He had a long, slender neck that gave way to a shoulder that was much narrower compared to Johnny's. But it had its own beauty in a fragile sort of way. The shoulder blades were protruding, the spine bumpy but the body frame was more lithe than thin. Rather than being straight, the waistline had a distinct curve. Not remotely feminine but like an art work. Timmy was a piece of art.

Just as Timmy did, Johnny also stopped when his hands came in contact with the elastic of the pajama bottoms that were still on.

"May I?"

Timmy's posture was rigid, arms held stiff by his sides, fingers balled. He gave another nod without uttering a word. The movement was hard enough for Johnny to feel through his hands. He kneeled down and pulled the pajamas along with him with a slow motion, giving Timmy enough time to stop him if he wanted to.

Carefully, Johnny lifted Timmy's feet one by one from the floor to get them out of the clothes and then tossed the apparel into the darkness.

Timmy's buttocks were soft, like freshly kneaded dough and they had dimples. Johnny's curious fingers traced all the dips and swells. His thighs and calves were lean but not athletic. His feet were almost the same size as Johnny's own and the toes were long. The hair on his legs were dense but not coarse.

Johnny shuffled to sit in the front now.

Timmy had a bumpy scar just below his left knee that could be felt with hand. Johnny traced it and noted to ask the man about it later. His knees were well formed, not knobly. The thighs had less hair and were smooth and soft under the palms. His inner thighs were softer.

Johnny stopped again. Another permission to ask.

"May I?"

This time Timmy did not even nod.

"Timmy?"

Still no reply. Growing concerned, Johnny opened his eyes and tried to make out the outline of Timmy's face, "If I am making you uncomfortable-"

"Nobody-" he choked, then started again, "Nobody has ever.....I've never been-"

Johnny knew that, of course, but he still let Timmy finish his words. Tonight was all about breaking down the barriers on their own. It was about getting acustomed and comfortable with each other physically because they had already established their emotional connection. And hence, tonight Timmy needed to voice his own thoughts. Johnny would always be there to finish his sentences when he could not for the rest of their lives but tonight, Timmy would have to cross this bridge to come to him.

"I have never been touched by anyone else before," he let the words out with difficulty and the fact that he felt ashamed for not being cherished by someone, while all the people who had ever rejected him never regretted their decision, hit Johnny right in the heart but he did not let his anger take over. This was their night. He would have plenty of time to avenge every wrong doing that Timmy had suffered because of others.

"I'm glad," he responded, "that I won't have to break someone's arms."

After a heartbeat, Timmy let out a surprised laugh, "You- are you serious?"

But Johnny did not join in. He was still holding the sides of Timmy's thighs without a trace of mirth on his face. "I am a possessive man, Timmy. I protect what is mine with my life and do not let anyone else have what I hold most precious in my heart."

The following silence was charged with unspoken uncertainties and promises.

"May I continue?" Johnny asked again.

"...................Yes, please."

Johnny exhaled and closed his eyes again.

Unlike Johnny, Timmy did not shave down there. Nestled in the tight curls of wiry pubic hair, Timmy's cock was well formed. It was smaller and leaner than Johnny's own but it was Timmy's and that was the definition of perfect in his eyes. Timmy inhaled sharply when the first touch came and by the sound of it, he stopped breathing altogether. Johnny admired it with his hand but did not let the touches turn into a sexual act and quickly moved onto the higher planes of the abdomen.

The muscles there were sucked in when being touched and Johnny felt up the entire torso. Timmy did not have muscle tones due to his lack of physical exercise but he was lean to begin with and thus, was without a whit of fat on his body.

Johnny stood up without dislodging his hands, eyes still close.

The collarbones were jutting out and they created a hollow at the base of the throat. The Adam's apple was less protruding. The jaw line, that had held Johnny's attention on so many afternoons, was defined and delicate. The chin carried the sign of inherent stubbornness.

The cheeks were wet.

Johnny traced the tear tracks to their sources and swiped his thumbs over the soaked eyelashes before leaning in and touching the closed lids with his lips.

Fresh tears fell down.

He held the face in his hands and stared at it. "Cry if you want to. Let out all your pain tonight. Because from tomorrow, I will make sure every time you cry again it will be the tears of joy."

And let out Timmy did. Hugging Johnny with all his body, with all his soul, Timmy broke down into pieces. Without fear, without shame, without being lost because he knew however thick the darkness would get, Johnny would find all his pieces and set them together to make him whole again.

After that it was a flurry of movements. Suddenly, Timmy was kissing Johnny, inexperienced, clumsy, wet and glorious. They exchanged the sorrows, the pent up pain, the separation, the passion, the love, the friendship through their lips and tongues.

They said, "I love you, don't be scared", "I am scared but I am ready to take the fall", without uttering a word.

When the bed hit Timmy's back and the mattress bounced around them, they were deep in love, going even deeper.

XOXOXOX

It was dawn when Johnny opened his eyes. The sleek, sharp rays of soft yellow beams lighting up the room in a kaleidoscopic view. He was lying on his back, his left arm numb. A wide smile bloomed on his face and he turned his head to his left. The back of a dark head, an outline of a curled up body submerged under the sheets from waist below was lying on his outstretched arm.

Johnny wrapped himself around Timmy and inhaled him in deeply. And when Timmy's shoulder stiffened for a moment before going slack, Johnny asked in a sleep mussed voice, "When did you wake up?"

"A while ago."

"Did you sleep at all?"

"I did. On your arm, I must point out."

Johnny's chuckle was smeared on Timmy's nape, "I'm happy."

"You are very easy to please," trying for a mock but Timmy ended up sounding fond.

"All the better for you."

Timmy did not respond and swatted at Johnny's hand with a yowl when he tried to tickle him. They fell quiet after that.

"What are you thinking?" Johnny asked.

Timmy hummed non-commitally and just when Johnny thought that was all the answer he was going to get, Timmy spoke.

"This doesn't feel like falling."

Blinking, Johnny lifted his head to look at Timmy's face but could not see properly, so, he dropped his head again. "What doesn't?"

"..................love."

"Love?"

"Yes," he confirmed, his nails softly grazing over Johnny's forearm, the movement unconscious. "All my life I have heard people associate love with falling but this....." his hand stopped, only to resume in a moment, "what I am feeling, when I am feeling it...it doesn't feel like falling."

"What does it feel like then?"

"Flying.....soaring high....as though I finally have enough air to breathe."

Johnny pulled Timmy closer to his chest, inseparable, and folded his left arm around his lover's head, so that, he could rake his fingers through Timmy's hair.

"This doesn't feel like falling to me either."

"What does it feel like to you?"

Johnny took his time and feathered the warm skin close to him mouth with butterfly kisses before saying, "Seeing. It feels like seeing."

He turned Timmy's face towards him and kissed the corner of his eye. Then the corner of his mouth.

"I was blind and you gave me sight."

Timmy turned his head away and Johnny buried his face into Timmy's neck. He did not need any spoken assurance. Timmy's fingers slotting against his own was all the response he ever wanted.

Not all the things in the world needed to be said aloud in order to be heard. Not all the things in the world could be seen through mortal eyes. Sometimes when people closed their eyes, they could see clearer.

Blindness was nothing but the ability to see where the eyes could not.

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A

ny thoughts?😶

See you at the epilogue!😘