Hello, everyone. Hope you are all well. Some of you have enquired after the lack of updates and I am sorry I could not reply sooner. 

This chapter was finished on 11th January, after some tests reports of my Mum came clean and I was so extremely happy that I cried and thanked God and finished the chapter. 

My mother passed away on 12th. She was the only one I had. 

And I have lost my job too. So, I am not certain what is left there for me to go on. I know I have to go on but I don't know how. I want to give up but I can't. I want to write. Write like crazy because Mum loved it when I wrote but....

I don't know what to say.

Tell your mother that you love her for you may not get a chance tomorrow.

Also, thank you so much for all those who read/voted/commented on my new YZ short story, 'Before I Sleep'. 

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Chapter-9

When Johnny was told that someone came to meet him he grimaced and clucked his tongue for the interruption. It could not be one of his friends as they would have texted him beforehand, nor this could be someone from work as he was currently in his office, substituting for another RJ for in the 8pm slot. That left only two options- some overzealous fans or.....his brother. Neither of whom Johnny wanted to meet at the moment. Or ever, for the later one.

With much reluctance he dragged his body up and out of the studio; the only consolation he got was from the clock that said 7:20. He would have to be ready by 7:50. Hence, not much time to spare.

However, all these thoughts flew out of his mind the moment he stepped into the waiting room. The lone person sitting in that long, narrow room was neither a fan nor his brother but the bane of Johnny's existence.

Hearing the door Timmy stood up hurriedly, face turned towards which he had come through earlier. This waiting lounge was more of a narrow corridor than anything else with doors on each end. But not knowing the existence of another door, Timmy had reflexively turned to the only one he knew was there, to his right. When no other sound came he slowly turned his head to his left; eyes guarded by dark shades.

"Uh..hello?" He called out haltingly, hesitatingly.

Johnny kept watching him without making his presence known. After straining his ears to guess if there was anyone else, Timmy sat down slowly, head bowing down.

The vulnerability, the helplessness of the gesture, of the situation, the fact that how pitifully difficult it was for Timmy to spend his every day depending on the sounds others make, pierced Johnny with a icicle.

Bye bye de-fucking-toxing phase.

Gritting his teeth, Johnny stomped to where Timmy was seated- with such a speed that did not give the other man to react to the sound- and barked out, "What are you doing here?"

Timmy jumped out of his skin and looked at the source of the voice with shock, well if his parted mouth could be taken as a shocked expression. This should have been satisfactory to Johnny as it gave him the desired effect....but it was not. He glared daggers at the unseeing man.

Timmy stood up again quickly and exclaimed in a startled voice, "Johnny!"

"Whom else were you expecting? Bruce Lee?"

He was not sure what triggered it but he was pissed, royally pissed. After withdrawing himself from this idiot's presence and not having any reaction other than bitterness, Johnny had honestly thought he was over with the bizarre attraction he felt for Timmy.

Well, now he thought the fuck not.

Just looking at this clueless stupid face Johnny's blood boiled. Why did he have to appear, act like a kicked puppy and fuck with Johnny's heart again?

Timmy responded to the jab by clearing his throat. Johnny wanted to clear it for him by strangling.

"You...weren't answering my calls or texts......I have sent many."

Someone whistled inside Johnny's head; he ignored it. He had not opened any of those messages. He was afraid. He did not want to be that best friend whom Timmy would go to brag about the budding relationship between him and Lili.

"And you thought it would be a good idea to disturb me coming to my work?" His tone harsh, unkind.

There were blotches of red spreading over Timmy's face. His lips thinned before opening up.

"I apologize for the intrusion. I'll leave-"

"Fuck your apology and hang it to your wall!" Spitting out the words Johnny grabbed Timmy's wrist and hauled him to the door that led to the studio.

Apart from the 'oof' that came from the sudden pull Timmy did not make a word or tried to shake off the hand that held him with a death grip.

XOXOXOX

"It's a small, square room- well, almost square- with wooden and glass wallings. The RJ's chair is opposite from where you are standing now. There is a window behind the chair from which the HaiBao Gardens can be seen. And the sound technician's booth is on your right."

In between giving a quick description of the studio Johnny kept stealing glances at Timmy. The whistling inside his head was yet to cease. After punching Johnny's emotions in the gut all Timmy had to do was seek him out and Johnny's inner moron started wagging his tail.

Utterly pathetic.

"Oh, uh, that's a good view, I assume," Timmy gave a small awkward laugh. It sounded nervous to Johnny's ears which gave him a slight satisfaction in turn. So he was not the only one affected here.

"I should-" Timmy's voice drew him back, "I should probably go. Your show is about to start-"

Johnny's wrist rose as if on reflex and indeed it was nearing the time his show would start but damn him if he would let Timmy leave now. He might be dating someone else but that could not stop Johnny from being a territorial friend.

"Why? What's the hurry? You have another appointment with someone else?" The 'someone else' was emphasized with a good measure so that Timmy had no scope of missing exactly what ticked Johnny off.

Timmy's lips parted what looked like in surprise, "No! I- I came here only to meet you."

The whistling turned to yodelling.

"Then shut up about leaving."

And Timmy's wrist was grabbed tight again.

"This is my work station," Johnny planted Timmy's hand on the board where the different buttons for calling lines, for music and certain sound controls, a fixed mic, the stand for headphones and other stuff were. "And this was the button," he put Timmy's index on a button that had 'Line 2' written under it, "using which I received your call. The one you seem to regret constantly."

He withdrew his hand but Timmy did not. With chin tilted down a bit, his finger traced the round rim, side and the label under the button, then his fingers strayed off and began wandering around. But he stopped shortly, as if waiting for a response from Johnny who gave it almost immediately, "Go on."

And Timmy resumed his 'seeing', ghosting his right hand over the things Johnny had taken for granted all these years, unaware of another pair of eyes that mapped his every little movement.

Timmy's hands were........beautiful, much like the rest of him. They were soft, gentle, dainty. Watching them gliding over things Johnny touched everyday a sudden ferocious jealousy shot through him.

Did those hands touch someone else now? Touch them, held them, feel them? And Johnny was not allowed to hold those hands? He was not meant for? Those who did not even know how to appreciate the feel of those digits would be considered as the 'allowed' ones? Why? Because Timmy could not go beyond the barrier of flesh and take Johnny as his companion? Because Johnny could not give him what he seek for?

Well, then Johnny would snatch it from him. He would take what he thought was meant only for him. He would grip those hands, twist those fingers with his own, bend them behind Timmy, pull him flush with his own body, press them tight against the nearest wall, the puffs of their quickened breaths would mingle together, creating an intoxicating haze and Johnny would lean in, Timmy's lips would part in a whimper and-

"Woah! Um!"

It felt like someone had slammed Johnny's soul into his body and he knew his full body jerk was visible.

They had another person in the room now, Richard, the sound technician. Apparently his sudden barging in had caused Timmy a startle too as he stood with a freeze.

"Um... is everything all right?" Eyes darting between Johnny and Timmy, Rich threw the question to the room at large.

Johnny should pat his own back for how quickly he recovered from that....what was that anyway? A mirage? A sudden strike from the devil? Side effects from the lack of wanking for a couple of weeks? Well, the search for answer could wait but this sandwich eating domestic cow could not. Hence, he addressed him, "Why anything should be wrong?"

Rich was eyeing Timmy- more precisely, that stick- with a frown now, , "I..." he dragged the vowel as he tore his eyes from the white stick and set them on Johnny's face, "don't know but you kinda looked like you're gonna rip someone up or something."

Timmy's head jerked towards Johnny.

"That would be you, Rich," Keeping his voice smooth Johnny glared at him and pointed at the cubicle where Rich sat, mouthing a 'fuck off'.

"Who the hell is he?" Rich mouthed back, slinking to his booth.

Another 'fuck off' was the reply he got.

"I should go now. It's time for your show."

Timmy's interruption broke Johnny's glare. No deigning that statement with a reply he made the compulsory introduction, albeit reluctantly.

"Timmy, this is Richard, my sound tech, and Rich, this is Timmy, my friend."

"Well, I'm not really his personal sound tech," Richard drawled, "I work for this radio station but I guess you already know trying to be the centre of all attention is Johnny's OCD?"

Mouth quirking up, Timmy grinned, "I do actually."

Rich grinned back and made a sniggering sound. Johnny stared at him with open wonder. They had been working together for almost a year now and this was the first time he had seen this guy with expressions other than that poker face.

"Oh, fuck off, both of you," he grumped and turned to Timmy for his next demand but the later beat him to it.

With an uncertain turn of his head to the general direction of Johnny, he said with a nod, "Okay then, I'll be-"

"If I hear you say that one more time, I swear to god, I will tie you to this chair and throw you out of the window!"

And Timmy was pushed down on the said chair with a headphone clamped over his ears that would help him to listen to the show.

Johnny expected a protest of some sort or at least a tight lipped frown but all Timmy did was folding his stick and adjusting the headphone.

XOXOXOX

Johnny was an egoist, he took pride in many things and one of them was his skills as an RJ. He was one of the best in Beijing. But today, as his eyes more often than not, strayed to the person sitting sideways to his right, face changing with the sounds that silently reached his ears, Johnny found himself stumbling upon his words, grappling for them.

There was something very different about Timmy today, something open and unbidden, as though the walls around him had cracked at last.

Johnny took another song break; he could not wait for this show to be over.

They had chit chatted during the last song but this time Johnny just leaned back on his seat and looked at Timmy. This guy, this delicate looking blind man with a soft smile and stubborn persona had turned Johnny's entire life upside down, had stumped his off his senses, off his rationality. And Johnny had let him, even welcomed him to take the reign of his life.

How did you do it? Why is your pull stronger than my willpower? I don't know what it is but I cannot deny it anymore.

How did you do it?

Timmy slowly, with a hint of hesitation took off his glasses and the answer was revealed to Johnny.

Johnny was sightless till Timmy came to his life.

XOXOXOX

Timmy took the glasses off his face and set them on the desk, every movement slow and halting. And Johnny could be wrong but he thought he saw a flash of trepidation crossed over Timmy's downcast face.

Trepidation for what? But in the next instant, he wanted to slap himself. How did he miss it?

For someone, who could not be caught dead with his dark glasses off in a public place, Timmy had taken them off not once but twice in the presence of Johnny! He thought back to the day when he took Lili to meet Timmy and saw the man wearing his clear glasses in the cafe. Timmy did not know Lili was coming, only Johnny. Which meant..........

Which meant what Johnny thought to be just a deluded thought of his angst ridden mind was actually the truth! Timmy did it for him! He stepped out of his comfort zone and bared open his most vulnerable side for the sake of Johnny because he knew Johnny loved to see his eyes.

He did it for Johnny then, he was doing it for Johnny now.

With a crease between his brows, Johnny had to screw shut his eyes in order to orient himself after being thrown off balance so completely.

Sodding show, how was he possibly going to continue it after this?

Timmy sat there with his unguarded eyes pinned to somewhere near Johnny's chest, curled fingers entwined and resting on the desk.

The sudden urge to touch those hands was so fierce that before he could think of what was happening Johnny found his own hand lying over Timmy's.

The song had ended and seeing Johnny had not picked up the talk Richard, thankfully, had started playing the adverts.

And Timmy was taking off his headphones now, expecting some sort of explanation as to why Johnny was still holding his hand.

Johnny retrieved it hurriedly. "Um.."

"Yes?" Timmy asked, ever so poised. Could nothing imbalance him?

"Uh, are the- are the sounds reaching okay?" What the fuck? But now he could not take the words back and he could not have come up with anything better even if he tried, to be honest. So, he had to roll with it. "I mean, the headphones? Are they all right?"

Timmy looked quite lost and puzzled. Well, of course, he did. Hearing that fake, crappy excuse, it would have been a wonder if he did not. But he quickly recovered and with two small nods said, "Yes, they are very good, perfect."

"Okay, yeah, that's good. I just wanted to- yeah good."

Johnny put on his own headphones hastily before he did further damage.

XOXOXOX

No question was asked, no protest was voiced as Johnny guided them to the parking garage. He usually did not leave after this 8pm slot show as his own show was still slotted at one o'clock in the morning but today was not a usual day. And he could not possibly send Timmy home with a cab now, could he?

After getting into the car he did not start the ignition immediately. He was too jittery to drive at the moment and moreover, there were some things he needed to know first.

Beside him Timmy was quiet too. Well, no surprise there as he was a quiet person, but today, to Johnny, his silence seemed almost docile.

"Timmy," fingers drumming against the steering wheel, eyes staring ahead at the concrete wall of the garage, Johnny decided to clear his doubts one once and for all.

"Hm?"

"Why did you come here today?"

A spall of silence and Timmy replied, "I told you already. You were not returning my calls or-"

"Is that the real reason?"

"What makes you think it isn't?"

What could Johnny say to that without sounding creepy? He stayed quiet.

"After that day," Timmy began when nothing came from Johnny, "you stopped replying my messages or returning my calls. I knew you were receiving them as your phone was on. I would have thought something happened to you if not for your show. And after a couple of days you turned your phone off too." He was speaking faster now, voice laced with agitation. "That day you left without even telling me and then cut off all communication. I did not know what was going on. I was- I-" He stopped to take a deep breath.

What? You what? You missed me? You needed me? You realized that there is something in me that you can want? What? Even though he wanted to scream and demand answers, Johnny kept his mouth shut.

"I was worried.....about you."

Well, it was not exactly what Johnny was hoping for but considering Timmy's emotional constipation, he would take it as the winning trophy.

"I.......I did not want you to stay angry at me," he spoke after a pause.

"Well, it did not look like it."

"What do you mean?" Finally, Timmy's guilty expression dissolved into a frown.

Finding some equal footing, Johnny glared at him, even if it did not make any impact on Timmy, "You were quite happy when I left that day. Giggling, chatting like you wouldn't get another chance."

This was a blatant lie but Johnny would not relent. He would guilt trip his friend and milk on it until the end of time.

"Giggling?" Timmy gaped, his eyes on the steering wheel now, wide and agitated. "And I wasn't chatting mindlessly, Johnny, as you very helpfully pointed out. In the sane society it is called making a conversation. And that was the whole purpose of bringing Lili with you, was it not? So that we could talk?"

Johnny snorted a laugh that was anything but amusing, "We both know, Timmy, exactly why I brought Lili that day. I had to do something for your desperation, didn't-"

"No, you did not!" Timmy snapped and Johnny realized with a jolt that he had never seen such a beautiful angry face.

Oh boy! He had it bad.

"You did not have to do anything!" Timmy went on, "You did not have to take something which was said in the heat of the moment seriously. You did not have to find a date for me when I clearly never made any such request. You did not have to go into a strop because you were upset about something I did and could have talked to me instead. You did not have to leave without even bothering to tell me."

"Well, you didn't seem to care."

"Well, excuse me for being blind and not noticing when a jerk took the advantage of my blindness and slunk away."

Called out for his actions, Johnny protested immediately, "I did no such thing!"

"You did exactly that, you stupid arse!" Timmy yelled and turned his flushed face away, leaving Johnny to stare at the back of his head with shocked wonder.

"You cursed!" Johnny's voice carried the amazement he felt.

Timmy did not say anything or even face back.

"You can curse!" A huff of laughter slipped out of Johnny, "I honestly doubted you even knew any swear words but you can curse!"

"Shut up. This is your fault. You always bring the worst out of me."

Despite the irritated words Timmy's ears were tomato red and his reflection on the tinted window told Johnny he was biting his lip.

Johnny laughed out loud.

XOXOXOX

"So......how is the dating going?" Although he had already guessed the answer Johnny still had to be certain. After all, Lili was exactly the kind of girl Timmy would choose to be with.

With head leaned back to the seat, eyes closed, Timmy was humming a tune, a companionable silence was around them. Hearing the question, however, Timmy opened the eyes and lifted his head.

"What dating?"

Johnny rolled his eyes, "Playing dumb is really not your thing, Timmy."

The said man frowned at that, face turning to Johnny's side, "I honestly don't know what dating you are talking about." After a pause, he added, "Are you subtly trying to know if I and Lili are dating? Then the answer will be a no."

Hoping for something then getting it was a wonderful feeling. Trying to suppress the smugness that threatened to spill out of him he asked, "Oh? And why not?"

Timmy gave a tired sigh and faced away from Johnny again, "Because neither I nor she is interested."

"Why, because Su Yi was more of your type?"

It was a pure tease and it was received exactly that way when Timmy let out a very uncharacteristic snort, "I should thank you for rescuing me that day."

Johnny's eyebrows went up, "Is that a backhanded apology I'm hearing?"

"Not quite backhanded. I am doing it outright," Timmy shrugged matter of factly. His eyes were closed again; he looked peaceful.

Johnny's heart whistled again and he welcomed it this time.

"Then I vow to rescue you from every date you'll have from today onwards!"

"As if you needed my permission," Timmy said without any bite to the words, voice and posture both relaxed. Even the pupils behind his closed lids were still.

"Ah, no, I didn't," Johnny agreed immediately, "but consent always makes things easier. It works as lube," and grinned because he knew Timmy would catch the change in his voice.

"You always make me regret saying things."

"And I always will!"

There was a frown between Timmy's brows but a small, almost secret smile in the corner of his lips.

The wheels finally moved to take them out of the basement parking lot.

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