Our flight was silent. I couldn't believe we were doing this.... I called Dwayne who was my body guard last time I was here and asked for his help. Ben was pouting in his seat still.

"This is a bad idea." I told Michael. "I think this will be good for him. Maybe being closer to his dad will help." He commented with an upset look. "He's going through a rough time, you are his dad & so is Levi. Levi would be so proud about the way you have been fathering Ben." I said grabbing his hand. He gave me a soft smile.

The plane landed and Michael carried a sleeping Ben off the plane. Luckily no one followed us. Dwayne and Javon were getting the car ready and everything.
"Hey Dwayne!" I said greeting him with a handshake. "Hello Mrs. Jackson." He smiled. "Dwayne this is my husband Michael." I said. "Hey Dwayne, nice to meet you." Michael smiled still holding out 10 year old son. "Okay he's getting heavy, let's get going." He said. We got in the car and started driving. "Where are we staying?" I asked confused. "You'll see." He said looking out the window. Ben was now awake. I started to look around and started to recognize  things. We were in our old neighborhood.... "No Michael! We are not staying here!" I hollered. "Yes we are. He's getting the full experience." He said sternly. I shook my head. "How? Someone else lives there now!" I said upset. The car stopped in front of our old house. Then two people came out. Michael covered his face  before getting out of the car. I got out also leaving, Ben in the car. It was Jake and Jenn! "You guys bought our house?" I asked. "Yeah, we redid it and have been living here since. Come on inside. I wanna see that little guy." Jenn smiled. I got Ben out of the car and took him inside. He looked around the house as did me and Michael. "It looks nice." Michael said. "Thanks. Um Amber your old bedroom is ready for you and Michael and I have a sleeping bag for Ben." She said. "A sleeping bag?!" Ben said surprised. "Its how most kids out here sleep." Jake said. "You wanna live the life of a poor kid, here you go." Michael told him. He looked to me, I looked away. I couldn't do this to him. "Can't he just sleep with us?" I asked upset. "Nope. He hates us remember and he wished he lived this life." Michael said. Ben held an angry expression, trying to act tough. "Dwayne and Javon are staying in the living room?" I asked. "I think Dwayne is sleeping in his car and Javon is sleeping in here on the couch." Michael said. I nodded.

Michael gave Ben his sleeping bag and we all went to bed. I stood in my old room, looking at everything. At least there's a full sized bed in here instead of Twin sized. It was always a pain in the ass sleeping on one with Michael. Michael was already in bed and I was just restless. "Amber, just come to bed." He said tired. "You remember when Ben was little and he had that dream with gunshots and blood ? " I asked. He sighed nodding. "What if this back fires and he wants to stay?" I asked. Michael rubbed his face, "who the he'll would he live with. He's our kid, he's not going any where. Now come to bed. Please." He begged. I nodded getting into bed with him. He wrapped me in his arms, " everything will be fine. Eventually we were gonna have to bring him here." He said. "Are we gonna go to his grave?" I asked softly. "I was hoping to, if we can get there without the paps." He said. I took a deep breath, "I still don't like this." I said. "Whatever." He said trying to go to sleep.

I woke up the next day, still tangled in his arms. "Michael... wake up." He groaned squeezing me tight. "No." He said. I got out of bed going into the bathroom to freshen up. I walked out to the living room to find Jenn cooking breakfast. "Morning sleepy heads." Jenn smiled. "Morning." I yawned. Michael also came out, "Awh shit, I miss our bed." He yawned stretching his back. I nodded agreeing. "How'd you sleep baby?" I asked Ben, kissing his head. "Fine.leave me alone." he answered with a attitude. "No, we don't speak to adults and especially our parents like that in this house. You know what happens to kids out here who talk to their parents like that?" Jake said. Ben shook his head. Jake made Ben get up and look out the window with him, "see that tree?" He asked. Ben nodded. "Your dad Levi would've made you go get a branch off that tree and he would've whooped your ass boy." He told him. Michael was giggling. "I remember getting that punishment." He said. "Same." Jenn said.

"Surprised I didn't hear ya'lls headboard banging against the wall last night." Jake said eating breakfast making me nearly choke on mine. "Ya'll use to fuck like some bitchs in heat 24/7." He laughed, I looked over to Michael and he was just smiling. "Our son is sitting right there." I told Michael. "What?" He said throwing his hands up, "Jake said it not me." "Jake, come on. There's a kid in the room." Jenn said. "What? His daddy wouldn't of cared." He laughed. "I know what sex is mom." Ben grumbled. "Oh my god." I said covering my face with my hands. Michael was just laughing his ass off with Jake. "Guys come on." Jenn said seeing how frustrated I am. "Fine fine fine, haha, so what have you all been up to? How many kids you all got?" Jake asked. "3." I said. "Damn, married with 3 kids, you all think you're done having kids?" Jake asked "Yes we're done" I said. Michael rolled his eyes. "They're not married." Ben said.  "What? " jenn asked confused.  "Ben, can we not. Please? " I begged. "They're getting divorced." He stated while staring me & Michael down. "The fuck? What you mean you all divorcin'?" Jake asked. "Can we not right now?  Please?" I asked with my eyes closed frustrated. "Okay okay. Let's just go over today's plans." Jenn said.  "Well.." Michael said looking at me, " I was thinking Ben could spend the day with Jake. Out on the town. See what it's like out here. Dwayne will be following them every where. You and I will stay here with Jenn." He said. "Jake.... Just please make sure nothing happens to my boy." I said. "Amber. I promise if I even hear a gunshot, I'll bring him straight here. I'll protect lil' Levi with my life." He said. I giggled as he called Ben lil' Levi.

"Be careful baby. This isn't California. I love you." He shrugged me off. "Nah, little boy you tell yah momma you love her back. Most these little hoodrats parents are strung out or dead so be grateful you got loving parents." Jake told him. "My dad is dead and I don't even know my mom. So I guess I belong out here." He said. A tear fell from my eye,"you got 3 seconds before I get a switch and beat your ass." Jake threatened. Ben looked at me  like "Are you really gonna let him hit me?"
"Its fine, jake. You don't have to say it back,  but I love you more than anything in this while world no matter what you do or say, nothing will change that." I told him then walking into my old room.

Michael laid on the bed resting. I sat in the chair,  just thinking. My life is a fucking mess. "We have never been normal, we've always been a mess." Michael said. "How'd you-" "I can tell by the way you're staring and biting at your nails... and your expression. It's your panicking expression." He said. "I'm gonna go hang out with Jenn." I stated then walking out.

Jen was making us lunch,  "divorce uh? You all act like a loving couple for a getting  divorced couple." She said.  "I'll always love him. I just can't do it anymore. It's like I'm drowning." I sighed. "Ah, so you want the divorce." She said while cutting up potatoes. "Why not just make some changes? You think divorce is the answer?" She asked. "He's beat me, left me and now has cheated on me. I'm done. He doesn't love me the way I love him." I told her. "Oh shit .... I'm sorry Amber. That is fucked up. Do you girl." She said. "So he cheated.... you fuck up the bitch he fucked?" She asked. I rolled my eyes, " I wish. He didn't fuck her, he fucking kissed the bitch and she gave him a bj. He had the nerve to bring her into our home. I had a knife in my hand too, never been so close to stabbing someone in my life." I told her. "You should've. I would've fucked them both up." She said. "If we didnt have kids, I swear I would have. But now I gotta be some type of sane for them." "Want me to fuck them up?" She asked. "I can hear you guys." Michael shouted from my room. "Good." Jenn said back. "So why haven't you and Jake like gone out & find your 'soulmate' and shit?" I asked. "Girl, I do not wanna bring another hoodrat kid into this neighborhood and neither does Jake but for all god knows he may have a kid out there the way he been fucking around... it's just you know Jake's my big brother, no one fuck with us. We're trying to help this neighborhood." She said. "That's amazing. Good for you. Anything Michael and I can do?" I asked. She sat there and thought for a minute. "You guys ever thought about starting a charity out here, you know ya'lls roots." She said softly. "No but that's a good idea. I'll talk to him about it." I said. "I'll do it." He said walking into the room. "Should've done it a long time ago." He said. Jenn nodded agreeing
"Can I walk in here without being stabbed?" He asked. "I guess. Can't believe she let you get away with this shit." Jenn commented. "She's not. Shes divorcing me." Michael said bitter. "And you're surprised or something?" She asked. "What is up with you having friends name Jenn that want to hurt me?" He asked. I shrugged giggling. "I had so much faith in you two....." She said disappointed. "I don't want the divorce." He said. "Can we please stop talking about it?" I asked. He kissed my cheek, "sure. BABE." He emphasized. I rolled my eyes. "I'll kill him." Jenn offered. I laughed. "He's good at cheating death." I laughed. "That was just once." He said. "And when you left me. Your lucky I didn't tell Levi. You know he would've killed you." I said. "Why didn't you tell Levi?" Jenn asked. "The last thing he needed is a murder charge." I said. "True." She giggled.

"I actually found these after the funeral when we moved in. Just a couple pictures and some clothes." Jenn said handing Michael and I a box of Levis belongings. "Oh and this!" She smiled handing us a photo album. I gasped as i opened it. "Where did you get these?" I asked happy. "I forgot I had those, I should've gave them to you a long time ago." She said. "Look at how little Ben was when we was born." Michael said with a hint of worry in his voice. "He was a premature baby. Birth giver was a dope head." She rolled her eyes. "Look how happy Levi is, holding Ben." I said with tears in my eyes. "Here come the water works." Michael giggled. "Oh shut up." I smiled.

For the 1st 3 months of Bens life, Levi took a lot of pictures. We've never seen new born pictures of Ben before. "I love these!" I gushed. "I really love these pictures....." I said looking at the ones with Levi and Ben.

"Where are they?" I asked pacing the room. "Amber, it's only 6pm." He said. "Its dinner time! I want my baby home." I panicked. He let out a annoyed sighed then pulled me to the bed with him. "Just calm down. Please." He begged then kissed me. "Michael-" he kissed me again. "You really think I don't love you as much as you love me?" He asked staring me in the eyes. I nodded slowly. "I've never broke our vows or stabbed you in the back. It's like you enjoy testing and hurting me." I said softly. "I don't mean for this shit to happen. I really don't. I love you more than anything." He said with his eye closed, as his forehead rested on mine. I lightly placed my hand on his cheek, "actions speak louder than words Michael." I said then walking away. "Amber." He sighed grabbing me pulling me to his chest, He kissed me hard and with passion. I went weak in the knees, like always. He picked me up, wrapping my legs around his waist. He pulled my shorts and panties off then unzipped his pants and pulled them down enough for his dick to make its appearance. He pushed into me making me groan. I gripped his curls as he thrusted slowly. I moaned as he kissed me, "shit." He grunted.  He picked up his speed, "how can I show you how much I love you?" He whispered. My nails scratched down his back as he was hitting it just right. "Fuck, michael!" I moaned. I climaxed hard, then Michael reached his peak. He held my face kissing me. "Why do you keep doing this?" I asked frustrated. "Keep doing what? Loving you? Because I don't believe this divorce is the answer. It doesn't feel like the right decision." He said with a serious expression. I didn't reply, "we go through with this divorce and the odds are we'll just end up back together. We can never stay apart, ever. Do you really want this divorce. Look me dead in the face and say you whole heartedly want this divorce." He said. I looked away from him. "Your head is telling you, you need to divorce me but I know your heart doesn't want it." He said. "I'm just suppose to be your rag doll my whole life? Is this all I'm meant to be is your fucking nanny and maid?" I said getting pissed. "No. Baby, you are much more than that." He said. "You don't let me work, barely let us out of the house. I'm done with it." I said mad. "Okay, then let's make some major changes!" He hollered throwing his hands in the air. I then heard the door open, the front door. I hurried up and put my pants back on, bolting out to the living room to see my baby.
"How was it?" I asked worried. Ben looked a little scared. "Whatever you all were trying to scare him of. I think we accomplished it." Jake said unsure. "What happened?" I asked worried. "Well.... Okay to be truthful, we were just walking down the street and a fight broke out. Some thugs beat the shit out of a 14 year old kid. So we of course had to stop it. I had Ben away from it all but my guys got the kid out of there and had the kid tell Ben what it's like out here." Jake said. "You okay Ben?" I asked holding his face. He nodded. "I'm hungry  mom." He said not looking at me. "Didn't you have dinner?" Michael asked. "Yeah but I'm still hungry." Ben said. Michael shrugged. "Most kids out here don't even get dinner." He said. "Michael. He's hungry." I said surprised. "Should've ate more dinner." Michael said. I shook my head. "What do you want to eat baby? I can have Dwayne or Javon get you something." I told him. "No they will not." Michael said. I gave him the death stare. "Um Michael, the momma bear is coming out." Jenn said. "I don't care. He's suppose to live like we did." He said "No you mean like I did. You grew up with both parents a hot meal every night and went to a nice school. You didn't grow up like this. You chose to move here and live like this." I pointed out. "You don't think I ever had a skip a meal?" He asked offended. "You probably did that like 1 or 2 times. The only bad thing about your childhood was Joe. I'm not gonna let my baby starve." I said. Michael was red in the face pissed off. "The whole point of us moving out of here is so our kids didn't have to go through this!" I said. "He thinks life with us is so bad! So were showing how bad his life could've been!" He shouted then stomped off. Ben held onto me. "Its okay mom. I'll be okay." Ben said. "No, were feeding you." I said. "I got some stuff here Amber, come here Ben. I'll fix yah something." She said taking his hand. I went into my old room, where Michael stood, leaning over the dresser. I grabbed his arm, "please leave me alone." He said threw his teeth. "Michael-" "Amber!  Go away. I'm pissed off! You never back me up on anything!" He shouted. "Because you just make the decision by yourself. You don't even ask me!" I yelled. "Because you just wanna baby him! He's gotta man up eventually!"
"Michael! He's fucking 10!" I paced the room, "Your gonna make him starve? Are you fucking kidding me?" I said in disbelief. "You know what, do whatever the fuck you want Amber." He said. "Please calm down." I asked wrapping my arms around his waist, gently kissing his chest. He rolled his eyes. "I'm going to bed. Goodnight." He said still upset.