I know it's been a while, sorry I had major writers block!

Things have calmed down a bit since michael and i's fall out. We've been searching for a counselor that does high profiled people and can be trusted.

My bruise is about gone. Michael and I kept on the down low from our families during this difficult time, we really need time to just our kids and eachother.

Michael was laying in bed with Harmony laying on his chest. Aubrey came in the room and went into the bathroom where I was.

"Mommy, what are you doing?" She ask curious.

"im shaving my legs sweetie." I replied.

"Can I shave my legs too?" She asked excited.

I drier off my leg, then giving her my full attention.

"Sorry babygirl, you're to young to shave your legs. When you get older you can." I said giving her a kiss.

"Okay." She replied looking down.

I started to walk out of the bathroom.

"Where you going mommy?" She asked me with excitement.

" I'm going to lay down with daddy and harmony." Right as I said that I saw the expression change in her face. Aubrey quickly walked out of the room. She's been acting super weird lately.

"Whats wrong babe?" Michael asked as I crawled into bed.

"Some thing is going on with Aubrey . she's been acting different.did you not see that?" I asked.

" no honestly I didn't even notice her come in." He replied.

The conversation ended there. I cuddled harmony and Michael as we watched a movie.

It finally hit dinner time. We called the kids down for dinner and put the baby down for a nap. We made meat loaf with mash potatoes and corn. Everyone was sitting down eating but Aubrey. She hasn't even touched her food. I looked over to michael. Once I got his attention he Quickly  noticed it too.

" Aubrey,  honey is everything alright? " She didn't answer. She picked up fork and finally started to eat. She barely ate anything by the time she asked if she could be excused.

"No, not till you tell us what's wrong." Michael replied. She threw her fork down flinging food every where.

"Aubrey Anne Jackson! What has gotten into you?" I gasped. She held a angry expression.

" she thinks you guys forgot about her." Ben blurted out while shoveling corn into his mouth.

"Aubrey, we haven't forgot about you." I said shocked. She didn't answer. She got up and ran to her room. Michael and I shared a glance. We both got up quickly and went after her. We got to her door, it was locked.

"Aubrey unlock the door." I said calmly . We wait 30 second and nothing.

" Aubrey Anne Jackson!  Unlock this door now!" I said. By that time michael pulled out the key to her room. He jiggled it unlock her door. We entered her room.

She was in the corner of her bed hugging her teddy bear sobbing. My heart just broke, I looked over to michael, he looked like he was going to cry.

I've never seen her so upset. We both sat on her bed. She wouldn't look at either of us.

"Aubrey , baby talk to us." Michael said.

She shook her head " nuh uh! All you guys care about is the baby!" She cried. Oh....so this is about the baby......

"Honey were sorry. It's just the baby needs a lot of attention. We didn't mean to ignore you."Michael said.

"Well then I don't want the baby! I wish she was never born!"she cried.

Michael picked her putting her in his lap."you don't mean that." He said to her.

" yes I do! You don't take naps with me anymore, you guys don't cuddle me anymore, you guys don't play with me anymore! I like it when we all watch movies, or play outside or make dinner together. We don't do that now cause of the stupid baby." She cried.

" I don't like you guys anymore." She finished.

"Aubrey don't talk like that. Honey things will get easier. Mommy and daddy are just having a lot of trouble right now." I told her, while playing with her hair as a tear hit my cheek. I hated seeing her like this.

" are you guys going to start sleeping in different beds again?"She asked worried.

"No baby, we're not. We're working through it like families do. We haven't forgotten about you. I promise. We could never forget our first little miracle." I told her. She dried her little tears "okay." She replied.

"We didn't mean to hurt your feelings babygirl.  We're sorry." Michael said kissing her cheek.

"It okay, I forgive you guys now." She said with a stuffy nose. We both hugged her kissing her head.

"Now let's go finish dinner." Michael said carrying Aubrey. She such a daddy's girl. We came down stairs to find Ben eating in the living room watching cartoons. Silly boy. I swear if we let him. He would watch TV all day. 

"Ben come finish eating at the table, please." I said. 

We all sat around and ate. No one really talked. Everyone was exhausted. We finished eating dinner and I washed the dishes by myself. I am so drained right now. I mean I just had a baby, michael and I had a huge fight, and now our 5 year old doesn't like us and to add on a screaming baby every other hour. I don't get any sleep ever.  I need a little get away but that won't happen anytime such especially when i'm still breast feeding.

I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and a light kiss on my neck. "You okay?" Michael asked. "Yeah I'm just tired." I replied.

"Why don't you let me finish the dishes and go to bed. I'll put the two older ones to bed." I finished the dish I had.

I wiped my hands off. I wrapped my arms around his neck.i swear those chocolate eyes make me fall in love everytime I look at them. " thank you." I said then kissing him. "No problem babe. " He replied.

As if on que Harmony started screaming. I made my way up to her room, she had her arms up and feet kicking. I picked her up, I bounced her trying to get her to calm down. I stripped her down getting her bath ready. She hated baths.....

I dipped her into the water and she screamed her little head off. "Come on babygirl,  it's not that bad." I said trying to get her to stop screaming. She screamed through the whole bath..... I dried her rocking her in my arms. She finally stopped, letting out little hiccups. I feed her as she dried off.

I dressed her in footie pajamas and burped her before I laid her down to go to sleep.  I rocked her to sleep and laid her down. I turned the lights off and left the door cracked.

I got in the shower and started to wash my hair. The door slid open and Michael joined me. He wrapped his arms around and slowly rubbed my back. I let out a groan, as he kissed my neck. "I think you need some sexual healing." He whispered.

"Michael." I said in a warning tone.

"What?" He said innocently.

"You know we cant." I replied.

"Why?" He said slightly annoyed.

" cause after you have a baby women are extremely ferital. So most likely  I'd get pregnant." I explain.

"Isn't that what we would want, since you have a hard time even getting pregnant? " He asked.

"No." I replied as if it was obvious.

" so are you trying to tell me you don't want anymore kids?" He asked irritated.

I stayed silent.

"Are you going to answer me?" He asked mad.

" I don't know okay?" I replied irritated.

"This is just great." He said sarcasticly getting out of the shower drying off. I stayed in. I finished washing my hair and then got out. I dried off, combing my hair. Honestly as of now I don't even care if he's mad. He should be more about my feeling toward birthing another child then his. I mean I almost died birthing harmony!

I got dressed, exiting the bathroom. Michael was laying in bed with a mad expression. I ignored it. I shut off the lap and right as I did Harmony started crying. I let out a deep sign. Why can't this child just sleep?! I walked out our room and went to harmonys. She was just fussing.  I picked her up bouncing her and rocking her. After 15 minutes she finally went back to sleep.

I enter our room and Michael was reading about book with the lights on. I turned the lights off and headed to bed.

" I needed that on!" He said irritated.  Now he was getting on my nerves. So I turned around , turned the lights back on and left. I headed to the guest bedroom. I just wanted to fucking sleep! I open the door and got under the covers in the guest bedroom bed. As soon as my head touch the pillow I was out. Of course every 2 hours I was woken up to a hungry screaming baby. 

I woke up to at 7am to her screaming again. I got her out of bed and took her down stairs with me.  30 minutes later Ben woke up. "Morning mommy." He yawned.

"Morning baby." I replied kissing his head. "Is your sister still sleeping?" I asked.

"Yeah, do you want me to get her up?" He asked. "Please?" I asked. He ran up stairs. 5 minutes later they both came down, shortly michael came down after.  I made harsh browns and eggs. Michael hasn't said a word to me yet this morning besides thank you when I gave him his plate. I held Harmony while I ate. "Why don't you just put her in her jumper while you eat? " Michael asked.

"Because I don't want to listen to her scream." I replied. We ate breakfast in silence. Besides Ben he's always talking haha.

"Guys I think I grew last night." Ben said putting ketchup on his hash browns.

"Why do you think that?" Michael giggled. Ben put his leg on the table " my pajama pants are to short on me. They weren't last night though."

"Well after we're done eating we'll go check the door." I suggested.

"Okay." He said getting his leg off the table.

We finished eating and put Ben against the door where we have been marking their height. He grew a inch!

" I'm growing up!" He cheered!

"What about me daddy?!" Aubrey said standing up to the door.

"You grew about half a inch babygirl. "

"Yayyy!" She cheered.

The day went and Michael and I didn't say a word to each other.  We did our night routine and put everyone to bed. I got put of the shower and Michael was reading. I wasn't leaving this time, if he wants to read he can go to the library. So turned off the light and not enough 2 seconds later he said something.  " I was using that." He said irritated. "Well I'm tired and want to go to sleep. You can go read in your library." I replied sharply. "Whatever." He replied putting his book down, laying on his side away from me. I got into bed and laid there silently. I closed my eyes, but as soon as I did michael turned his lap on. "We're you even going to tell me you didn't want anymore kids?" He asked.

" i didn't say I didn't want anymore,  I said I didn't know." I replied.

" shouldn't we talk about it or something?  I mean maybe I want more kids!" He said. I sat up , " michael, your not the one giving birth caring them for 9-10 months then having to wake up every two hour to them crying. And I don't know of its even safe for me to have another baby. I might actually die if I get pregnant again!" I said irritated. He stayed silent.

"So don't get mad at me for something that I can't help." I said on the verge of tears. "I'm sorry bab6, I wasn't thinking about that." He said softly.

"Cause you don't care!" I replied. 

" baby I care, don't say that." He said rubbing my thigh. I shook my head laying down again. He turned off the light. And laid down. He wrapped his arms around me,"I love you." He whispered. I did t say anything back. "Will you please say it back." He said desperately.

"I love you Michael. " I replied.