chapter5: end of denial

july 29, 2009

 It’s the next day, the second day of the British Isles leg of 7STARz’ world tour. Breanna went into a coffee shop to meet with her now-boyfriend, former juniorSTARz member Vaughn Robb. He had a movie to shoot, and it was in London. So it was good timing that he and Breanna were able to meet.

 As they sat down, Vaughn asked, “So how was the concert last night?”

 Breanna replied, “Good as usual, but of course it would’ve been better if 8STARz didn’t open for us. Are there any videos of the opening on YouTube?”

 Vaughn laughed humorlessly as he replied, “Oh yeah, I saw them. They were practically strippers, on both the guys and the girls. I even read the comments, and a lot of them called them ‘The New S Club Juniors,’ and the ‘The Trashy S Club 8.’ I looked into that band, and 8STARz are way too trashy to be compared to S Club whatever-their-name-was.

 “But I’ll say this though: They were top trending topic on Twitter. I’ve seen the hastags, such as ‘#8starzinlondon,’ ‘#slutty8starz,’ and ‘#ryananderson.’ They’re apparently now the hottest, newest band London has ever witnessed. So I must admit, I’m impressed.”

 Breanna glared at Vaughn, and said, “You’d better not be liking this fucking kiddy trash.”

 “Hey, I’m just giving you their status on the internet. Now, anything good happened behind the scenes?”

 Breanna grew a smirk on her face, and explained, “Actually, something interesting did happen. I saw Maddie arguing with this dude. I’m guessing that’s her boyfriend. It was so bad, yet so good. I heard him call her a slut, and she bitch-slapped him! That was the highlight of my night. Maddie really is a slut by the way she dresses.”

 Vaughn smirked, and asked, “So what should we do with that information?”

 At the same time, back in the hotel suite, Maddie was getting something to drink from the mini-fridge. As soon as she closed the door, she turned was started by Rylie standing there. 

 She said, “Rylie! You startled me.”

 Rylie asked in an irritated tone, “Why were you grinding on Ryan, who’s my boyfriend?”

 Maddie sighed heavily, and said, “Rylie, I don’t want to talk about this, okay? I got into a fight with Josh, and all I want to do is sleep before we to go Wembley.”

 “No! We have to talk about this! And you’ve made it clear that you hate Ryan!”

 With that, Maddie exclaimed, “Rylie, shut up! I grinded on Greg and Alec too, and their girlfriends aren’t pissed at me! You know why? It’s all fucking publicity!”

 So Maddie stormed into her room she shared with Sarah. As soon as she slammed the door, she saw Sarah, Emily, and Hayley in the room. She asked, “Yes?”

 Emily said, “Maddie, you made more moves on Ryan than you did on Greg and Alec. Face the facts, you like Ryan.”

 Maddie groaned in frustration, and asked, “Again with the whole ‘I’m-in-love-with-Ryan’ shit? I have a boyfriend!”

 Sarah asked, “Yeah, about that…what happened between you and Josh? You slapped him.”

 Maddie replied, “He called me slut. So?”

 “So? He called you a slut, and you slapped him! Maddie, do you still love that jerk?”

 Hayley chimed in, “Yeah, why stay with a guy who won’t support you, won’t make any effort to see you, and called you a slut?”

 Maddie said in an irritated tone, “I don’t fucking know, okay? He pissed me off last night, but then again, he has been pissing me off a lot lately. He always tell me to not go ‘too Hollywood,” or that he never makes time for me. It didn’t matter our breaks matched. He just won’t make the trip from Brooklyn to LA.”

 Then as Maddie sat down on her bed, Emily asked, “What about Ryan? Why were you making so many moves on him?”

 Suddenly, Maddie got up from her bed, and said angrily, “Drop this whole Ryan shit! I don’t love him! I fucking hate him!”

 Hayley, Emily, and Sarah exchanged looks of disbelief. Then Sarah said, “Maddie, I’m your friend and bandmate. And I say you need to stop living in denial. Just admit it once and for all that you love Ryan.”

 Maddie glared at her, and said, “How many times do I have to tell you? I don’t love Ryan! And I’ll never love him! He’s too arrogant, and vain, and thoughtless, and he’s a player!”

 “You’re only digging yourself deeper.”

 “No I’m not! I stand my ground that I hate Ryan Anderson!”

 “Maddie, stop lying to yourself.”

 “No!”

 “Maddie…”

 Maddie soften the glare into a stare. Her expression changed from anger to somewhat sad and confused. Then she exclaimed with a cracked voice, “Fine! I like Ryan Anderson! No, I’m in love with him! I hate his ‘I’m-the-shit’ attitude, but he’s hot! He’s talented! He can actually be a really nice, but misunderstood, guy!”

 Then she paused, and said with a quieter voice, “He has a girlfriend who’s now becoming suspicious of me, and she’s my friend.”

 With that, Maddie sat on her bed, and started crying. She finally admitted her feelings for Ryan. It was something she tried to push out of her mind and heart, but the feelings kept growing inside of her. She tried to insult him and be hateful, but it only made things worse. Now she realizes she’s in love with him.

 The girls watched her break down. They were relieved she finally admitted her feelings, but upset she was crying. Sarah sat next to her, and said, “Maddie, it’s okay. You’ve been bottling up all those feelings, and now they’re finally coming out.”

 Maddie shook her head, and said, “No, you don’t understand. I’m not supposed to like guys like Ryan. My parents are activists, and they expect me to date a guy who’s like them. Ryan is anything but that.”

 Emily told her, “But it’s obvious you’re miserable with that hipster guy. That guy practically slut-shamed you. Ryan would never do that. He’s too nice to do that kind of shit.”

 Maddie then said calmly, “When I first met Ryan, I pushed him away. When he started dating Rylie, I felt my heart sink. A part of me wanted to be with him, but I lost out that chance. Now he’ll never go with me.”

 Hayley said, “Maddie, it’s not like he’s gay or married to her. There’s a chance he’ll be with you.”

 Sarah glared at Hayley, and then said to Maddie, “I wouldn’t put it that way, but she’s right. Maybe Ryan will break up with Rylie, and maybe you could make him your boyfriend.”

 Maddie looked at the girls, and said to them, “Whatever you do, do not tell Rylie any of this. She can’t know that I have feelings for Ryan. She’s already suspicious of me.”

 The girls agreed to keep quiet about this. Maddie wasn’t sure what her next move would be. Will she break up with Josh? Will she actually go after Ryan, even though he has a girlfriend?