[ C A S T ! ]

ASHLEY BENSON as CAMERON KALA
GRYFFINDOR!
"chocolate cake is the best thing that's ever existed, and the fact that you don't agree is honestly the reason we're not friends."

DYLAN O'BRIEN as JAMES SIRIUS POTTER
GRYFFINDOR!
"my hair is the best part about me, how dare you insult it."

LUCY HALE as LANA RELLOW
GRYFFINDOR!
"i can't believe i'm in love with an idiot. a completely stupid, amazingly dumb, utterly idiotic idiot."

JORDAN FISHER as FRED WEASLEY
GRYFFINDOR!
"i'm only here for the food, don't flatter yourself too much."

EMMA ROBERTS as BRENDA PYKES
GRYFINDOR!
"do you need me to hide a body? because i can do that."

CODY CHRISTIAN as TYLER SHAWL
GRYFFINDOR!
"i'm, like, seventy five percent sure that she'd say yes, which is obviously way too low and exactly why i'm not going through with it."

ALYCIA DEBNAM CAREY as ELIZABETH WEFT
GRYFFINDOR!
"alright heteros, time to calm down, sit down, and shut up."

TYLER POSEY AS AUSTIN GRET
GRYFFINDOR!
"one time i got so drunk i forgot that i was a wizard and practically shit myself when i accidentally levitated a lamp."

LOGAN LERMAN as ABLUS SEVERUS POTTER
SLYTHERIN!
"the real issue here is that you're all fantastic liars and i almost passed out once because i had to lie to my mother and say that i didn't know what had happened to the broken plate."

MADELAINE PETSCH as ROSE GRANGER WEASLEY
GRYFFINDOR!
"if you don't ask her out, i will. and you know what? she'd say yes, because i'm amazing."

JESSICA SULA as ROXANNE WEASLEY
HUFFLEPUFF!
"i normally introduce myself to people who know my brother by apologizing on his behalf."

BERTIE GILBERT as SCORPIUS MALFOY
SLYTHERIN!
"who decided that space was going to be so big? i can't handle that. i want to fight whoever did that."

MOLLY C QUINN as LILY LUNA POTTER
RAVENCLAW!
"all i'm saying is that you two were literally made for each other and that you should get married and give me nieces and nephews."

DANIEL SHARMAN as TEDDY LUPIN
HUFFLEPUFF!
"oh, does our little james have a girlfriend? that is rich, that is so absolutely rich."

SABRINA CARPENTER as RACHEL KALA
MUGGLE!
"i wish i could believe you, but your face is way too red for you to be telling the truth."

SAMANTHA SMITH as PENELOPE KALA
MUGGLE!
"you know i love you, and i'm happy that you're happy. but, if he hurts you, i'm going to snap his neck. i don't care if he has magic, it is no match for me."

IMPORTANT NOTE:
FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS STORY, SIRIUS, REMUS, AND TONKS ARE STILL ALIVE.