Kiran

It was several weeks later. We had enjoyed our freedom despite our worries about how to help other Llyadorans. We had settled into a routine of sorts. I worked with the cows in the mornings. After that, I did work that allowed me to be with Silver. I watched her lessons and day to day running of the household. We had lunch together in her room, no different than before. In the evenings we had dinner with her father and whatever guests were present.

Today was different, however. Silver was invited to tea at House Lebbon. She was bringing me with her, which was much preferable to last time, when the separation had nearly ripped me apart, but I was nervous.

"Do they know you're bringing me?" I asked. Silver, Burnemarr and I were in the carriage, rattling our way towards House Lebbon estates.

"No. I accepted the invitation over a week ago, before I was allowed to take you with me. "

"So I'm not even invited?"

She laughed lightly. "Of course you're invited. You're my Matchmate. It's a given that you go where I go. They probably don't know what to expect as I did not bring you last time, but of course they know it is a possibility you will come. It is honestly more shocking to not bring you. "

I breathed out in relief but still couldn't shake the vision of them not being prepared for me. In general, Llyadorans weren't as humanlike as I was. They wouldn't have a place for me. I could be forced to sit at Silver's feet like a dumb animal.

Silver rubbed her hand over my arm, bringing me back to myself.

"It'll be alright," she promised.

I was still nervous. My reception at the hands of Llyadorans was not quite all I could have hoped for. I remained wary, but at least I was with Silver. And Burnemarr. Between the two of them, I was in good hands.

Burnemarr had really grown on me. He was no ordinary guard; he was my friend.

"What did you do before you became my guard?" I asked him suddenly. He and Silver both looked at me in surprise. One did not generally treat servants as familiarly as I did, I had come to realize. In Silver's presence, Burnemarr became very formal. She was not as comfortable knowing he was a person in his own right. Servants were part of the landscape in her life, only to be spoken to when you needed something. As she learned Burnemarr through my eyes, she seemed to have a greater appreciation for her servants. She had never treated them poorly, but as Ferri had told me, she was very distant with them. Seeing Burnemarr and me as friends shook her worldview a little, made her rethink how she saw the servants. They were people too, with every bit as many problems and feelings as her.

"I used to be in service to the king. I was a guard there. He gave me to Lord Theris for his loyalty to the crown, and I have worked for Lord Theris ever since. Lord Theris has less need of personal protection, but I ensure the estate is safe and the people are content. Lord Theris has me in charge of many aspects of the estate security and wellbeing."

I nodded. "Yes, I had the impression you were pretty high up. Lord Theris put much stock in what you said about me."

Silver's gaze bounced back and forth between us.

"I didn't know that," she said quietly.
"I honestly didn't think anything about you until you became Kiran's guard. And then I resented you a little for locking my Matchmate up like a wild beast."

Burnemarr inclined his head to her, low. "Forgive me for the disrespect to your Matchmate, but when Kiran first appeared, he did potentially seem violent. We could not risk any harm coming to your ladyship. And if I may say so, Lord Theris would be devastated if anything happened to you."

Silver scoffed.

"My lady, I do not think you realize how deeply he cares for you. True, he does not often show it. I have heard he became the distant man he is after the death of your mother, correct?"

Silver nodded wordlessly.

"Take that into consideration then. It is not that he does not care for you. He is merely afraid to get too close for fear of anything happening to you. And perhaps he wishes to be closer now that you have successfully Matched. I cannot presume to know all he feels but I do know he cares deeply for you, Lady Silver."

She stared at him in surprise. The man Burnemarr described was a side of her father that she had not seen. Sometimes we are too close to see what is right in front of us, and an outsider's opinion can be much more accurate than what we ourselves perceive.

"Thank you," she said softly. "I had not looked at it quite like that."

Burnemarr nodded and somehow faded back into the carriage in that way of servants. He moved not at all, but somehow the focus was no longer on him.

We rode the rest of the way in quiet contemplation. I watched Silver, trying to distract my mind. Besides, would I ever tire of looking at her? Of knowing I was hers?

The carriage pulled up to the front of the manor and a servant opened a door for us. I got out first, then helped Silver. Burnemarr got out on his own and stood unobtrusively behind us at attention. He seemed not to know if we were safer away from the estate or in more danger.

I had not seen Baronet Verdan since the day I spoke to Lord Theris. Speculation had it that he had returned to his own house. Burnemarr and I had still not completely relaxed, though.

We were greeted at the door by Lady Lebbon herself and her servants.

"Welcome, Lady Theris. I see you've brought your Matchmate today."

She smiled warmly at me. Her gaze dismissed Burnemarr as the trusted servant he was.

"Lady Lebbon, it is a pleasure, " Silver said smoothly.

Lady Lebbon laughed lightly. "Call me Lady Ushea, " she invited. "We are equals, after all. "

The houses, I had come to realize, cared a great deal about who ranked above whom. Despite her age, Silver was the Lady of her house until her brother Kellor married and took over the House, at which time his wife would assume the position.
Despite their small numbers, House Theris was regarded in high esteem. Silver held an important part in their society, and the responsibility weighed heavily on her young shoulders. In ordinary cases, she would not have become a House Lady unless she married a lord of another house.

"I'm sure you'd like to wash up after the ride here, "Lady Ushea suggested.

Her servants led us to separate washrooms, Silver departing from me and Burnemarr.

"I don't think I should shadow you as closely here," Burnemarr said in a low tone. "It may cause more questions than it is helpful."

I nodded my agreement. Whatever he thought was best. He was, after all, the guard. And my friend.

It should be safe enough without Baronet Verdan there.

When we had cleaned up, we were led to the dining room. I was relieved to note that a place was laid for me next to Silver.

Burnemarr arranged himself near the wall behind me and Silver.

Other than Silver and Lady Ushea, there were three other misses present. Lady Ushea introduced them, mostly for my benefit, I felt. Silver had already met them all before at previous events.

Ladling Belila was, of course, Lady Ushea's daughter. Miss Izaboe was a cousin of the house. She was Matched to a metallic green-haired puma named Caelin. Miss Oliviette, another cousin, was unMatched. Surprising that she was at a tea with house ladies, I thought. Having a Match was a status marker. Also, unMatched individuals were less likely to marry, so that the magic stayed strong in noble bloodlines.

I spoke little during the tea. It wasn't exactly the scene that I was interested in- unless you counted Silver. I was interested in anything Silver did.
When we finished, I excused myself to the washroom again. Burnemarr's eyes followed me as I exited. It was strange not to have him shadowing my every footstep.

The hall was empty on the way there. I washed up and headed back. As walked down the hall, I was stopped by a woman I didn't know.

"Look at you," she said, grabbing my bicep. Her hand on the bare skin of my arm made me prickle with revulsion. Her hand slid down from my shoulder to my wrist.

"Aren't you a pretty one. Very exotic. "

She moved her hand to grip my chin, turning my head to admire my face. I pulled away with a jerk.

"Don't touch me, " I snarled, and evaded her grasp. I hurried to the tearoom, forgetting to calm my emotional state before entering, and Silver definitely noticed.

"Kiran!" she said in alarm, standing at my abrupt arrival. She read everything through the bond. She went white with rage.

"How dare she, " she said with quiet venom. She turned to Lady Ushea. "Some woman from your house put her hands all over my Matchmate. The disrespect! I do not welcome it and neither does he. I wouldn't go up willy-nilly to your Matchmate and pet him. "

Flamehiert, Lady Ushea's Matchmate, cringed at the thought.

"It's a violation," Silver exclaimed in outrage.

Lady Ushea frowned with concern and understanding.

"What exactly happened? Do you know who it was?"

I described the woman and what had occurred.

"Ah, " Lady Ushea said to herself. Then she looked up to address me and Silver. "I apologize wholeheartedly. I promise it will never occur again. Such disrespect will not be tolerated in my house. "

Silver was still upset.

Let it go, I advised. Lady Ushea seems genuine.

Silver nodded.

"I accept your apology, " she said graciously, "but you will understand, I'm sure, if we take our leave of you now."

We departed promptly.

  ______________________________

"I'm so sorry," Burnemarr blurted out the second we were in the carriage. "Kiran, I'm so sorry."

Silver turned to him with a set expression.

"Yes, why was he alone? Aren't you his guard? You're supposed to protect him!"

Burnemarr hung his head in shame, clearly agreeing with her poor opinion of him.

"I thought it would pose too many questions if I were to follow him to the restroom and everywhere he goes. I did not expect him to be in any danger."

"And technically," I interrupted, "I wasn't in any danger. I can handle myself. My only problem is how much my hands are tied.
"I don't want to start problems with another house. We need to tread very carefully. Me especially. I can't just slap people in the face if they bother me. "

This brought a smile to Silver's face as I voiced what she was longing to do.

"You're mine, " Silver whispered. "She doesn't get to touch you like that. "

Silver was jealous, I realized. She knew I had not welcomed the encounter but she also was purely upset at someone touching me.

"And she's never going to again," I reassured.
Silver settled her head onto my shoulder with a sigh.

"She better not," she grumbled.

_______________________________

Kiran

The encounter left me unsettled for the rest of the day. It wasn't done, touching someone else's Matchmate like that. It was an invasion of both my person and Silver, in a way. Because I was hers. And everyone knew that. That was just how Matchmates were.

Looking so human was a double-edged sword, I realized. It was uncanny and made people uncomfortable and nervous. And on the other side, I was beautiful enough that some would desire me. And I didn't want either. I just wanted to be me.

I headed to the gardens when we returned to the estate. I needed to get away. Burnemarr followed close behind, guilt radiating off him.

I turned around.

"Look," I said. "It's not your fault. Nothing really happened. I'm fine. Stop feeling so responsible. Your decision to let me go on my own was valid."

His lips twisted as he tried to work out something to say. Some part of him already knew everything I'd just said, but he still felt guilty. Sometimes it's hard to let go of guilt. Because then it means you're not in control.

"Let it go," I advised. "Beating yourself up about it won't help. Would you really have done things differently if you'd known that would happen?"

Burnemarr thought for a minute. "It's my job to guard you. I should have been there."

"And you would have done what? Offended a miss of House Lebbon by ripping her away from me?"

The look Burnemarr gave me was offended. "I used to be a guard in the palace. I know how to deal with the houses."

"Fine then. Learn what you can from this and move on. It could have been worse. Nothing really happened."

Burnemarr eyed me searchingly.

"Then why is it bothering you so much?"

He had me there.

I walked ahead of him to the gardens.

And stopped abruptly at what I saw there.

In the flower portion of the garden, Darrin straddled a woman who was laying on her stomach. The woman was the servant girl Mari that had been so kind to me.

I was instantly furious.

Burnemarr followed my gaze and tensed. After the day I'd had, I was about to have a fit at someone being treated this way, and Burnemarr looked as if he wasn't sure whether to stop me or join me.

My steps were hard and fast as I bore down on them, red clouding my gaze, Burnemarr on my heels.

Silver loved her brother, but apparently he was no better than any of the other nobles. All thinking it was their right to take anything they saw fit. All believing that everyone was beneath them. Servants weren't much higher than Llyadorans in the pecking order on Attaliesia.

It disgusted me to see this in Silver's family though. For the most part House Theris treated servants and Llyadorans well- or so I thought.
But after everything I'd seen and heard, I also wasn't that surprised to see servants being mistreated.

And then I got close enough to see clearly.

Darrin was giving her a back massage. And Mari looked like she was enjoying it. Darrin kneeled on top of her, one knee on either side of her as he leaned in to knead the sore muscles of her shoulders. In no way did Mari look uncomfortable or forced to be in the position she was in.

I slowed down my approach but was now close enough that they had seen me. Mari looked embarrassed and Darrin concerned.

I stopped a few feet away, Burnemarr right behind me.

"Well this is awkward," I commented.

Mari gulped. "Please don't tell anyone."

I tilted my head. "I'm honestly not sure what is going on."

Darrin looked down at Mari and hastily stood up, giving her a hand up as well.

"Kiran, can I talk to you?"

I nodded.

Mari scurried away gratefully as Darrin and I started to walk through the gardens.

"Look," Darrin began awkwardly. "No one would approve of me dating Mari."

"Your father married a servant girl," I pointed out, but I knew what he meant. Their society frowned upon marrying beneath you. Classes rarely mixed.

"And as she was unMatched, she died of magic deprivation," Darrin stated coldly. Darrin was not a cold person so his detachment clearly kept him from falling apart while speaking those words.

"Marrying someone of the servant class means less magic in the bloodline. House Theris is already on the verge of dying out. We are a very small house, despite being highly respected. You know how worried we were -I was- that Silver wouldn't Match? I can't do that to my family. "

"But you like or maybe even love Mari?" I ventured.

Darrin swallowed and nodded.

"I've liked her a long time. You're right, maybe even love her. "

I frowned. "If you know it can never go anywhere, why are you toying with her?"

He looked away with a grimace. "I know it's wrong of me. " His voice dropped to the barest whisper. "But there isn't really any other point to my life than seeing her. She makes me a better person. "

I wondered, rather inconsequentially, how long this had been going on.

"I care about Mari," I warned Darrin. "If you hurt her in any way it will upset me greatly. "

"That's fair," Darrin agreed. "I don't want to see her hurt either. But you're right, it's a dangerous path I'm taking. Is it selfish of me to want what time I can have with her?"

I looked him straight on. "It's not up to me to decide that. That is between you and Mari. But just consider what you're doing and where it's going. "

He nodded sadly. "You understand why I don't want you to tell anyone though?"

He had kept my secret from Silver. I owed him the same in return. And yes, I did understand the difficult situation he was in.

"Of course. It won't cross my lips. "

I looked back at my ever-present shadow. "Burnemarr?"

He nodded solemnly. "It is none of my business in any case. "

Darrin sighed. "Thank you. I wish I knew what to do. "

We walked together a ways in silence.

"It's hard for me to keep anything from Silver," I warned.

Darrin immediately saw the truth in that. "I'll speak to her. "

"And Darrin," I said, placing a hand on his arm. He eyed me questioningly.
"Silver now knows the whole of what I tried to keep secret. Nevertheless, I appreciate your respect of my need to do so at the time. Thank you. "

He smiled- the first one I'd seen that whole conversation. And Darrin without a smile was a rare occurrence. He tried his best to never stay serious for long.

That didn't mean, however, that he was incapable of it. That all his thoughts were frivolous. In fact, I wondered if he was even more burdened with concerns than the average person his age, and his jokes and playfulness were a mere facade. An attempt to keep himself from drowning. An attempt to make others smile, so they wouldn't have to feel the pain he did.

So many people hurt others when they themselves were in turmoil. Rare it was to find the person who did not bring others down because of their pain.

Everyone coped in their own way.
If Darrin chose to do so by making a constant clown of himself, who was I to judge?

"You know, I never learned the whole of what happened," Darrin pointed out.

I just laughed at him. "And you don't need to. "

.......................................................

You know, one thing that annoys me in books is when a relationship develops too fast and you wonder why on earth is he in love with her?
I'm afraid, however, that I have been guilty of that in this book. Many of my characters are a little flat and Silver in particular has no valid reason for the draw she has on Kiran other than that they are Matched.
I'm hoping to layer my characters in as I go, and perhaps you can see my recent progress? I hope.
But I'd love to see your thoughts on my characters and any critiques, tips, or recommendations for how to make them real people to you.

I also want to ask all of you who your favorite character is. Go ahead, comment!

My personal favorite is Burnemarr. He kinda developed himself. I never intended for him to play such an important part in the book but he wrote himself. I really love the manly heart-to-hearts he has with Kiran.

Anyway, I'd love to see your feedback!