taehyung asked to stay at yoongi's place for the next few days.

while desperately wanting to refuse, yoongi could see something in taehyung's eyes that felt all too familiar, so he said yes.

"i'm fucking beat," taehyung groaned, dropping his backpack to the floor and dropping himself onto yoongi's couch. "i could sleep right now."

yoongi took a seat beside him, scowling. "i can't believe i'm letting you sleep here again. no, i can't believe i saved you last night."

"yeah, why did you?"

"you wanted to die. i wasn't about to let you get what you wanted that easily."

he took out his cigarettes from his pocket, putting one between his lips and offering one to taehyung. "you want it?"

taehyung nodded, letting yoongi light it for him and leaning back into the couch as he took a drag.

"you know, i'm surprised you let your dad toss you around," yoongi muttered. "you don't seem to tolerate shit from anyone else."

taehyung scoffed, a cloud of smoke leaving his lips with his breath. "getting hit makes me feel like a kid again," he said. "and i plan on leaving as soon as i graduate. just need a place to sleep until i get my diploma."

"doesn't seem like much of a place to sleep, if i'm being honest."

taehyung shrugged. "i'd say it's probably better than the streets."

"i guess." yoongi looked away. "what are you planning on doing when you go back home?"

taehyung let out a loose laugh, licking his lips and running a hand through his hair. "i'll have to take a beating. probably starve for a few days. but he'll let me off within a week or two." he gave yoongi a sideways smile. "i'll live."

"yeah, barely, from the sound of that," yoongi muttered. "you should take better care of yourself."

" what, are you worried about me?"

yoongi listened to the hum of his radiator. he looked at the lamp in the corner of the room, flickering ever so slightly.

"just a little."

* * *

yoongi took a drag of the joint, passing it to hoseok next.

they sat with namjoon in the trainyard they had frequented since elementary school. back then, they had used it to play hide and seek. now they sat as teenagers on top of a train car they never would have been able to climb as children.

"taehyung's staying with me for a few days."

hoseok choked on the smoke, coughing violently as namjoon patted his back with a smile.

"what the fuck?" he managed to gasp. "why? don't you hate him?"

"i do. but... i don't know. he worries me."

"so you don't hate him," namjoon corrected. "you don't worry about people you hate."

"no, no... it's just like..." yoongi hesitated, biting his lip as he tried to find the right words. "you know how i was in middle school? i'd skip class, pick fights with teachers and other kids... hell, i picked up smoking just to piss off my parents, you know?" hoseok and namjoon listened intently, starting to realize what yoongi was getting at. "taehyung reminds me of me. i think that might be why i hated him so much at first too, because i hated who i was when... when i was like him."

"does he have sorry excuses for parents too?" namjoon asked.

yoongi nodded. "just a dad, i think."

he let himself zone out. he was little too high to think straight anyways.

he thought about taehyung. the dark eyes, sunken cheeks that seemed to only hollow out as the days went on. the boy was desperately trying to pretend he was okay, hiding fear behind a desperately built facade. he filled his eyes with anger to hide pain, smoked cigarettes to hide bruises behind thick smoke. to yoongi, the facade was slowly growing transparent. taehyung was never an asshole. he just hid behind the persona because he'd feel weak otherwise.

"i want him to open up to me."