"How come it is unfair?" I ask before taking a bite of my food. He shrug, not paying attention to me but his food. 

"You know, I've been courting you, I'm courting you for a long time. I'm doing all the things I can do, and then... here you are, taken by a guy who is not even courting you but since you like each other, you're now together." he said before lifting his head up and meeting my gaze. 

I lifted my left brow, "What are you saying now? Are you saying that I should have chose you and-

"No Louise, no. It's your heart, your feelings, you have all the control to it. I can't force you to love and choose me." he said smiling, 

He let out a breath, "And besides, you don't have to be mine in order for me to love you. I can love you like I always do even though you're with him, diba?" he said and I nod and continue eating. 

"And also, you two look good together. He's nice, he's kind, he also seems cute when he got shy back then sa opening ng McDonald's."  he said which made the side of my lips rise. 

"Type mo siya?"  I ask and his eyes widened before showing a disgusted expression. 

"Ew- what are you thinking, Louise? Not that I'm homophobic but I'm straight, okay? Straight as a metal pole." he said which made me burst out laughing, throwing my head back, hands on my stomach. 

I was laughing for almost a minute when I noticed him staring at me while smiling that made me stop, "What's with the smile?" I ask before eating. 

He shake his head, "Wala naman, I'm just curious if alam ni tita?" he ask and a bitter chuckle escaped my lips. 

"If alam ni mommy, hindi mo ako makikkita dito, I'm probably trapped in my room by now." I replied and he slowly nod, 

"Then I should keep my mouth shut then. Baka hindi kita makita kapag malaman ni tita." he said and I nod, 

"You better shut your mouth talaga, lagot ka sa akin kapag nalaman ni mommy dahil sayo!" I exclaimed, slightly pointing the fork to him which made me giggle. 

"Of course, your secret is safe with me." he said, hand on his chest. 

"As it should," I said before both of us continue eating. We spend around an hour or more in the restaurant since we ordered a lot of foods but we still managed to finish it since  both of us have strong appetite. After he paid for the foods, he get inside his car and drove to the nearest grocery and bought ourselves some ice cream. 

"Hindi pa talaga tayo nabusog?" he joked while we're parked by the park and eating our ice cream inside his car. 

"Busog naman ako, the thing is... I need sweets." I replied and he chuckled, "Yes, sweets for daily dose of life." he said and I giggled while eating a spoonful. 

"I don't know what would happen to me if sweets aren't invented. Sweets are the ones keeping me alive." I said while looking at the court where some teenagers are playing basketball. 

"Speaking of life, how's your mental health?" he ask which caught my attention. 

I shrug, "Well... I think it's getting okay, remember when I said that I don't think I'll reach college, well I have my plans now. I now see something in my future. Me working in office, waking up and cooking for our breakfast, I'm getting okay, Sam." I said and he slowly nod while eating his ice cream as well. 

"That's good, that's very good! Love life lang siguro ang sagot." he said which made me chuckle while the tip of the spoon is in my lips. 

"Siguro, because at the end of the day, I have something looking forward to. When I wake up in the morning I'm excited because I know I'll get to talk to him through the messages. I'm just excited everyday because of him." I replied and he nods while looking at me. 

"I'm glad, you're really happy with him. I'm very happy for you, Louise." he said and I can feel the sincere in his voice. 

"I just wonder," he paused and took a deep breath, 

"Is there... at least a small chance that you'll choose me? What if hindi mo siya nakilala?" he ask, I stopped on my movements and my lips parted. 

He smiled, "I just want to know, no hard feelings." he added and I slowly nod. 

"Well... there was butterflies, but I really see you as a brother. An older brother who takes care and loves me. I'm sorry." I said before biting my lower lip. I expected his expression to drop but instead a smile prints on his lips. 

"Wow, that's actually... okay, that was better than what I was expecting. At least... I'm somehow special din. Not just a random dude that got arrange into a marriage with you." he said, smiling at me. Once again, I felt the warmth coming from him. I can feel his sincere love and care for me that somehow I have never felt before. Inin's love is way different from him. Inin's made my heart beat fast, he always give me the butterflies and makes me smile that would also make me throw hands due to all the kilig, and Sam's feel relax, chill, care but no butterflies anymore. 

When we finished our ice creams, he take me back to the house and bid a goodbye. 

"Ingat sa biyahe," I said while watching him get inside his car, he stopped and look back at me, "I will, goodnight, Louise." he said and I smiled before waving. 

I get inside the house and walking through the stairs when I got startled and saw mom waiting at me by the end of the stairs, her arms crossed and tapping her feet on the floor. What did she find out this time? 

"I heard you two went out?" he ask while following me to my room, before opening the door, I turn around and face her. 

"Yes mom, we did, it was great." I said and she slowly nod. 

"That's good, by May we will be going to Manila and you two will start looking for a condo to live together." she said and I nod, "Sure, no problem." I said and turn my back at her, I was about to open the door when she speaks. 

"What's wrong with you? You have been all okay with this arrange marriage thing when at first you didn't want it? What are you up to, Louise?" she ask in  a stern voice which made me sigh and face her once again. 

"Why mom? Ayaw mo ba? Do you want me to act like I don't want it? Do you want me to act like I'm being forced?" I ask and mom rolled her eyes. 

"Stop with the sarcasm, Louise. Do what I say and we're all good." she said before walking away in front of me towards their bedroom. When she entered their room, I rolled my eyes and sigh before getting inside. 

I change into pajamas first and applied my facial creams before laying down on my bed, holding my phone. 

to Inin:

Hey, kamusta? Kamusta ang pagpunta sa Manila?

I waited for few seconds, then minutes which made me almost fall asleep if my phone didn't just buzzed. 

from Inin:

Hello! Okay naman! Ayos nga eh! Pasado ako sa application, babalik daw ako sa March para sa entrance exam. 

I sat up on bed when I read his reply, 

to Inin:

I'm so happy for you!! That's nice! I know you can do it! Ikaw pa! 

from Inin:

Sana nga, sana mag dilang anghel ka. Kapag nakapasa ako sa PUP, doon na ako mag-aaral. 

to Inin:

But you will still apply for other schools, right?

from Inin:

Susubukan ko sa SLSU Lucban, mahal kasi ng pamasahe eh. Kapag walang-wala siguro ay sa SLSU nalang ako dito pero pahirapan pa sa tuition. At kung walang-wala na talaga... baka construction worker din ang uwi ko. 

My smile dropped when I read his reply, hindi naman siguro. I know he can do it! I know that he will get that scholarship and take college. 

to Inin:

Bakit ang negative mo mag-isip? Of course makakapasa ka and makakapag college ka! Come on naman, don't think like that. 

Gosh, bakit naman ganon siya mag-isip? He's thinking negatively agad, baka ma-attract niya yung ganun negativity at hindi talaga siya makapasa. He should think positive! 

from Inin:

HAHAHAAH, oo nga, think positive, walang aayaw! 

It give a smile on my lips, sad vibes doesn't really suit him. He's a walking sunflower and sunshine. 

to Inin:

I guess you need to rest na, it's Monday tomorrow, goodnight!

from Inin:

Goodnight! Sweet dreams!!

"Ang weird niyo mag-usap, walang man lamang 'love you' bestie?" Ali ask while reading our messages. 

"Pero dama ko naman yung love sa messages niyo, plus point sa capslock na tawa." she said while munching on her siopao. 

"Alam niyo sana all talaga! May mga jowa na kayo! Matatapos na ang teenage years ko pero nganga pa rin ako! Ano nga Gwen? Sana all may jowa?" She suddenly said when she saw Gwen with Tobi and Jax coming from our way with the foods they bought, I slightly elbowed Ali cause they might hear her talking. 

"Alam mo Alejandra, tumahimik ka nalang, mag review ka." Gwen replied before sitting down beside Ali. 

"Pahinga nga muna eh, ikaw naman! Tsaka knowing you, ipapasa mo ang UP, bestie!" she said before flipping the pages of the textbook she's reading. 

"Kailan nga ulit ang alis niyo?" I ask before picking up the phone on the table. 

"This Saturday bestie, March 11." Gwen replied and I slowly nod. Wala pala akong gagawin sa araw na 'yon. That's also the same day Inin will take his entrance exam sa PUP. I'm all scared and nervous for them, but I really hope they'll pass. 

On the day of March 11, around 4 in the morning, I received a message from Inin which surprised me. 

from Inin:

Happy 2nd monthsarry, sorry hindi tayo makakapag date ngayon, pero gagalingan ko sa exam! 

A smile crept on my lips, I rubbed my sleepy eyes before typing a reply. 

to Inin: 

Goodluck! Love you!

I considered what Ali said two weeks ago saying that we haven't said the 3  words so I might say it to him, hopefully giving it more luck to him. 

from Inin:

Ano ka ba naman! Umagang-umaga pinapakilig mo ako! Baka sumigaw ako dito sa bus! 

His reply made me giggle, he's so cute! Kahit ako ay mapapasigaw ditio! 

to Inin:

Bye na, ingat ka sa biyahe mo, you should sleep because it's just 4am, I'll also sleep now. Rest ka sa biyahe but still be aware on what's happening around you. 

from Inin:

Okay okay, will do, I love you too!

I paused, my eyes wide open, I let go of my phone before smashing my face on the pillow and started throwing a tantrum on the bed. 

"Oh my Gosh! Oh my freaking gosh! AHH!!" I screamed on the pillow, I was panting when I sat down on the bed, a pout on my lips. 

"Nakakainis ka! Pinapakilig mo ako!" I said before punching my pillow. I glance at my phone where his message is flashed on the screen. I repeatedly read those 4 words where I felt my cheeks heat up and my blood rush. 

"What are you doing to me?! Why are you doing this to me!!" I started throwing punches on my pillow and kicking my blanket. 

"Lagot ka sa akin pag-uwi mo! Pinapakilig mo ako!" I said before flopping down on my bed and sleeping with a smile on my face. 

That smile remain on my lips until the moment I woke up. Plus knowing mom and tito Thiago are out of town with Theo, I am now alone at the house, just with the maids who sometimes pretends I'm not even there which still makes me feel like alone. 

I baked a cake, it is a bit stupid to make a cake for breakfast, but what's more stupid? Is that I'm having my breakfast at 4pm. I made a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and chocolates on top. I took a big slice of it and brought it to the living room to eat it while watching the TV. 

The rest of the day I'm on my pajamas while walking bare feet on the tiled floor. I even lay down on the cold floor when I feel bored. I don't want to message anyone from my friends specially knowing that they're busy about the exams. I wish them goodluck!

When the two of them got back from Manila, we decided to have a party before graduation. Ang sabi kasi nila ay magiging stressing na daw ang college at baka madalang na kaming magkita-kita lalo na at magkakaiba kami ng univeristy na papasukan. I'm baking at the kitchen when a maid told me that my friends are already here but it's only Jax and Tobi for now. The two watch me as I design the cake that I made while Jax would eat some cookies that I'm still cooling down on the tray. And by little by little the other arrived. 

They brought other foods aside from the foods I made and the maids cooked. Laura ordered a lot same goes with Gwen. We watched movies and played some parlor games and board games that Laura brought. 

Around 6PM when we stopped playing and just sat on the sofa while eating. 

"Anong balak niyo sa college?" Ali asked while eating a cake. 

"Mag-aral lang bestie," Gwen replied while staring on the white wall, Jax pillowing her legs. 

"I'll probably work while studying." Laura replied who's beside me. 

"Ang sosyal mo naman na working student, celebrity ang sideline." Tobi joked which made us all chuckle. 

"Baka... baka mag Korea ako bigla." Jax said which caught all our attention. 

"Eh? Bakit?" Ali asked, we are now all looking at Jax who's staring at the ceiling. 

"Kasi... nag-asawa na si Mommy ng Koreano sa Korea, mayaman daw kaya baka pag-aralin na ako doon." she said and our jaw drops while looking at each other. 

"Iyak si Tobias, mag-isa sa UST." Ali joked who received a slap from Gwen. 

"Pero di pa naman sure, pero may chance." Jax said and we all slowly nod. 

"I'll probably just study too then work right after. Then just work and work." I said and they nod, silence filling the area. 

"Ako... kapag mga 25 na ako, baka maghanap na ako nang mapapangasawa tapos mag-aanak kapag mga 27 or 28." Ali said and I hear Gwen snorts. 

"Wala akong balak mag-anak, or wala pa, baka magkakaroon din. Hindi ko palang nakikita ang sarili ko na magkaka-anak." Gwen said and we nod. 

"I might consider 1 sa future, isa lang." Laura said, 

I sigh, "Ako hindi talaga, ayaw ko magka-anak. Wala akong balak kahit isa." I said that caught her attention. 

"Why naman bestie?" Ali ask, I look at her and shrug. 

"Just... a kid is a no for me.  Hindi ko siya ma-aalagaan ng maayos. I'll end up being a bad mom just like my mom." I said  before looking away for them to not see my expression.

"Aww, Lory, I'm sure you won't end up like your mom." Gwen said while caressing my arm. 

"Still, ayaw kong may bata na madamay sa kaguluhan ng buhay ko." I said before facing them.

"We understand you and your decision, Lory." Laura said, giving me a smile that I returned to her. 

"Maging ninang ka nalnag ng anak ko, 4 kasi ang balak ko eh." Ali said which lift up the mood and made us all burst out laughing. 

"Grabe ka naman sa apat!" Gwen said, hitting Ali's arm. 

"Balak ko pa nga lima, 4 or more ganon." Ali said which made me have a disgusted face. 

"Kakayanin kaya ng ekup mo, bestie?" Tobi ask which made us burst out laughing. 

"Oo naman! Kayang-kaya!" Ali exclaimed which made us laugh even harder. 

After our party, weekdays came and we continue our practice for graduation. Each minute and, we're making sure we're spending the time together and making more memories. 

"Ikaw Lory? Saan ka?" Ali asked, I look at them and put down my phone, gosh, they were talking about the university they will be going. 

"La Salle siguro or USTE na rin. To be honest, hindi ko alam." I replied and they slowly nod. It was after few seconds when I realized that I won't be going to La Salle cause I'll be taking my college in Ateneo, gosh Lory, makakalimutin ka talaga! Hindi ko nalang binawi cause in the end, they will find out I'll be taking my college sa Ateneo, the least thing I want them to know is about me and Sam.

Few days after our graduation practice, Gwen and Ali received the results from UP and both of them passed which brought tears to their eyes. I may not show but I'm really happy for them. Ali even started crying on my shoulder which somehow made me emotional as well. 

On the day of the graduation, it was both emotional and exciting feeling but it is mostly emotional for us since we will  part our ways after this. Being friends from elementary to senior high is a very long time and we made a lot of memories during those years. Gwen is the valedictorian of our batch and her speech brought most of us in tears. 

When we started singing together with the whole batch, that's when more student started bursting into tears while us sings sang together while arms wrapped around each other's shoulders. At first I thought crying at a graduation is a stupid thing and people who are just over reacting cry on those things. But it was really a different feeling. It was a mixed of happiness and fear about the future that no one can say what would happen.