A/N: I suggest to start playing the song when Lory and Sam reached Thiago's house and put it on loop.

TW: Physical Abuse

"Can I say something?" Sam seriously said, I even saw his hand turn into a fist but I brush it away and just nod. 

He bitterly chuckled, "That's rubbish." he said and a chuckle escaped my lips, I was about to say something when he speak again. 

"That wasn't a question, miss Valdez, don't even say yes or no. That was a statement." he sternly said and another chuckle escaped my lips. He just used my line. 

He pick up his drink and took a sip before letting out a sigh, "Louise, he IS  the father. Why would you run away and suffer on your own!? Bakit ka aalis?! You should tell him!" he exclaimed before putting his drink down and crossing his arms once again. 

I let out a sigh, "I told you, I can't tell him or else--"

"Or else he will drop-out of school! LET HIM BE!! He's doing efforts for you and the child!" Napatingin ako sa paligid nang napasigaw ito, he realized what he have done and apologized to other customers. 

"Louise," he put his fist near his mouth. 

He lean closer to me, "Try thinking about what he would feel if you leave, with his child pa! Na hindi niya alam na may anak na pala siya. Think about it!" he whispered shouted, I played with the tissue and took a deep breath. 

"I already did, he will feel sad and upset, of course--"

"Malamang," 

I shook my head, "Pero I'm doing this for him. Babalik din naman ako, eh. Kapag nakatapos na siya ng pag-aaral at handa na ako." I explained and he stared at me with lines on his forehead. 

He lean back and let out a hiss, "And how sure are you that he still loves you once you come back? How sure are you that he's still single and will accept you and his child? Would he even forgive you?" he sternly asked, I bit my lower lip and lower down my head. 

"You will look after him for me." I mumbled and I heard him scoff. 

He didn't utter any word for few seconds before letting out a sigh, "Louise, I'm a man and... and honestly, if I am in his shoes, my girl leaving me without a reason then coming back after years with a child, telling me it's mine? I can't guarantee that I'm still the same person you left. That's why I can't promise you that I can make sure he won't be finding a new girl to replace you." he said, I swallowed the lump in my throat and lift my head up. 

"But you will try, right?" I asked and his lips parted, "So you're really gonna do it? Running away with his kid? At least let him know!-"

"I told you I can't! He would leave everything behind--"

"And how can you be sure he won't drop-out once you left?" he cut me off, I was stunned by his question and I felt my throat tighten. 

I slowly shake my head, "Pero mas malaki ang chance kung malalaman niya." I mumbled and I heard him hissed. 

"Fine, fine Louise, I give up, I can't do this anymoe, just tell me what to do. I'll do it, but for you, okay? I'm doing this cause you're important to me." he said, giving up with the argument. I let out a shaky breath and smiled before nodding. We calmed ourselves down before we both decided to go home. He sent me to the condominium building since he doesn't want me to commute. 

"Just message me, okay?" he asked once I got out the car, I smiled at him and nods. 

"Sure, thank you, Sam." I softly said and he smiled, "Always welcome, Louise." I close the door at the passenger seat and went inside. 

As I arrived outside our unit, I hear Inin talking to himself, probably studying. I took a deep breath first before opening the door where I immediately caught his attention. 

His head snap up and a smile immediately appeared on his lips, he rushed towards me and welcomed me with a hug. 

"Medyo nag-alala na ako sa 'yo kasi wala kang pasabi na aabutin ka ng dilim." he said behind my ears, once he pull away from the hug, I cupped his cheek and plant a soft kiss on his lips. 

He looks stunned and his cheeks immediately turned red, "May gusto ka ba?" he asked, a bit shy as he pursed his lips and looking at me with doe eyes. 

I chuckled and shake my head, "Gutom na ako." I said and he smiled before nodding and walking towards the dining to fix his things. 

I put my bag on the sofa and help him with the utensils as he prepared the foods. 

"Adobo ang niluto ko na may patatas, okay lang ba?" he asked he place the ulam down, I gave him a smile and nods. 

Something suddenly popped in my head that made my mouth water, "In," I called him while he's getting us water. 

"Yes?" he asked, "Pwede mo ba kunin 'yong mayonnaise diyan sa ref? Iyong nasa pouch." I said and he looked at my direction. 

"Iyon bang ang lagayan ay katulad ng Milk Scrub mo?" he asked and I chuckled before nodding. 

When he got back, he place the mayonnaise down in front of me and we started eating. He didn't even question why I was mixing mayonnaise and the adobo, he is watching me while smiling as I stuff my mouth with the food. 

"It was really good!" I said before taking a sip of the water. Naubos ko pa ang ulam! Nakadalawang kuha rin ako ng kanin! 

Napatawa si Inin habang naghuhugas ng mga pinagkainan. I can't but to laugh as well, until the mood swings kicked in. 

I'm gonna leave him soon. 

I'll miss his voice, his presence, his warmth and comfort. I'll miss his jokes, his giggles and laughter. I'll miss him.

"In, pupunta na ako sa kwarto, sumunod ka nalang." I said as I stand up from the chair, I heard him hum and I pick up my bag, heading to the bedroom.

I cried as I take a shower, I kept on thinking of what would happen if I leave him. What would be his reaction, what would he do after he finds out? Would he look for me? Would he scream? Would he get mad? Would he cry himself to sleep? 

Thinking about the possibilities already made me crumple in weakness. I'm battling with my thoughts of not going and just tell him about my pregnancy. But I can't let those thoughts take over. I need to be strong and to make this decisions. I can't risk things. I'd rather loose him for now than him loosing his dreams. 

When I got out the bathroom fully dress, he gave me a kiss on the forehead before heading inside the bathroom. I wait for him to close the door before I immediately took my phone and call Sam. 

[Hey? Did you changed your mind?] It made me sigh, I put my hand on my waist and lean by the window frame. 

"No, I already came up with a plan." I said and he hummed. 

[And what is it?] he asked, 

"Let's go to Tagkawayan this Friday, let's meet my parents, I'll tell them about it. And whatever their reaction will be, my decision is that I'm leaving." I said and he hummed once again. 

[And if you run away, where would you go?] he asked and I bit my lower lip. 

"Well... I already have a place in my mind but I'm not yet sure. Just... go with the plan, okay? If we go there, mom will think that we'll talk about the marriage. I'm sure she will ask about it, then I'll drop it, let's see what would be her reaction. You may also protect me and my baby." I said and he went silent for few seconds. 

[Protect from what?] he asked, "My mom, she might hurt me, I can't get hurt, not anymore." It came out almost as a whisper. 

Sam hummed, [Sure, I'll meet you at the office, what  would you tell him?] he asked and I bit my lower lip before glancing at the bathroom door. 

"Sasabihin ko lang na bibisitahin ko lang si dad sa Tagkawayan. Hindi siya makakasama dahil packed ang Friday niya. Babalik din tayo agad-agad." I replied, 

[Pagkabalik natin ng Manila... what's next, Louise?] he asked and that's when my thoughts starts crashing again. 

"Sam... that's for now, okay? We'll cross the bridge when we get there. For now, I'm still preparing myself for Friday." I replied, my eyes widened when I hear the lock of the bathroom door. Inin usually lock it when he's already changing. 

"I need to go, bye." I said, not waiting for his response and ending the call. 

I lay down on the bed and wait for Inin to come out and when he did, a giggle escaped my lips. 

"Ang cute naman  ni Mickey Mouse!" I said and he joined me on laughing. 

He's wearing a red Mickey Mouse boxer short and I find it so cute! 

He turned off the lights, "Huwag mo naman tawanan, presko kaya 'to." he said before tugging himself in bed next to me. I move closer to him to pillow on his arm. 

"In," I called and he hummed, "Pupunta ako ng Tagkawayan sa Friday, bibisitahin ko lang si dad, babalik din agad ako." I said and his head moved to look at me. 

"Okay lang ba si tito? Gusto mo sumama ako?" he asked and I immediately shake my head. 

"Dad is fine, and you don't have to come with me. I just miss him, that's why. Uuwi rin agad ako." I said and he nods before wrapping his available arm on my waist and pulling me closer to him. 

"Sige, magsabi ka kung magtatagal ka doon. Mag-aalala ako, hindi ko pati kaya nang wala ka." he joked, but I took it seriously. 

"Pero sa ngayon, matulog na tayo, may pasok pa tayo bukas, magluluto rin ako." he said before hugging me tighter, he's facing my direction that's why I can see his face. I slowly stroked his thick eyebrows, then his nose and his cheeks. 

My throat tighten, "Goodnight, I love you." I whispered, the side of his lips rise. 

"Goodnight, I love you so so much." he replied before kissing the tip of my nose that brought a smile to my lips.

The next morning, as the usual, a breakfast is already prepared on the table. He cooked eggs, longganisa and rice since there's no left overs from last night. 

When he saw me walking towards his direction, he immediately removed the apron and walk towards me. 

He plant a kiss on my forehead, "I'll take a shower na." he said before walking inside the bedroom. I pursed my lips while slowly taking steps towards the table where the delicious smell of longganisa entered my nostrils. 

I slowly take a seat and look at the foods, "Gutom na ako..." I mumbled while caressing my stomach. 

"Wait muna natin si daddy, baby." I talked to my baby. I lean on the chair and took a deep breath. 

Minutes passed and I just kept on staring on the ceiling. When I look at my watch I realized it has been only three minutes. 

"Ang tagal naman!" I pouted before standing up from my chair and walking towards the ref to look for something to eat. 

There's a 2 days old cooked siomai in the ref, I didn't even bother cooking it and just went straight it eat together with some Japanese Mayo. 

Mabuti nalang at naubos ko agad ang siomai bago lumabas si Inin, suot ang puti niyang polo-shirt. 

"Gutom kana?" he asked with a smile on his face. 

I smiled back at him and nod, he sat down on his chair that's why I rushed back to mine. 

Agad akong kumuha ng longganisa bago kumagat dito, nang i-abot ni Inin sa akin ng lagayan ng kanin ay napansin ko itong nakatingin sa akin kaya nag-angat ako ng tingin. 

"Bakit?" tanong ko habang kagat-kagat ang longganisa na nakatuhog sa tinidor. 

He push his hand forward and reach my cheeks, "May sunscreen kapa sa mukha." he said before wiping the side of my lips. It's the mayonnaise!

My eyes widened a bit before chuckling and continue getting rice for myself... and the baby. 

Dahil sa sobrang takam ko sa almusal ay nakarami ako ng pagkain. Kung dati na may natitira kaming pagkain sa almusal, ngayon ay naubos ko lahat. 

"Huwag kang magpapalipas ng gutom sa opisina." Inin said before planting a kiss on the top of my head. We're now waiting for a taxi. 

I giggled, "Nagiging matakaw na nga ako." I pouted, he chuckled and faced me. 

"Ano naman? Sabi nga nila, kapag nasa tamang tao kana, gumagana kana talagang kumain." he joked, I scoffed before playfully pinching his nipples. 

Soon after, a taxi came and we were both able to reach our destination. 

I'm having a great day at work, just some vomiting around 10am but it's all good. Even at lunch, the Sweet and Sour Pork looks so great so I ordered two, one for me and one for the little me. 

It was all good until I felt his presence behind me and I already know what he's doing here. 

I pursed my lips and turn around to face him, "Hey," I greeted, 

He flashed a small smile before putting his hand inside his pockets, "4am tayo aalis bukas, will that be okay?" he asked and I immediately nod. 

"Yes, that would be fine. Nagsabi naman na ako sa kaniya." I said and he slowly nods. 

"Good, see you tomorrow then." he said before walking away. 

I know, I know he's not happy about what I told him yesterday. I know that he wants me to at least tell Inin but I don't have the courage. Hindi ko kayang harapin kung ano ang mangyayari kapag sinabi ko. Mas kakayanin ko pa ang mangyayari sa akin kaysa malaman kung saan siya hahantong kapag nagkaalaman. 

Pagka-uwi ko ay niyaya ko si Inin na manood ng movie habang kumakain kami. Doon na rin ako nagsabi na alas quatro ako ng madaling araw aalis. Tinanong nito kung magco-commute ba ako pero nag sabi ko ay susunduin ako ng driver namin. 

Kinabukasan ay nagulat ako nang alas dos palang ay gising na ito. Nagluluto na ng pagkain ko. 

"Ang aga mo naman nagising." Bati ko sa kaniya sa kusina, narinig ko itong humagikhik, "Wala pa akong tulong, nag-review kasi ako." he replied and my lips parted. 

"Oh, okay, diba 1pm pa ang exams mo? Matulog ka mamaya." I softly said, he faced me and smiled before nodding. 

I forced a smile before turning my back at him and going back inside the bedroom to take a shower and get ready. Around 3am, I'm already eating breakfast with him. And after that, I helped him clean the table and wait for the clock to strike 4am while watching him review. 

I sat there while staring at his face, his notebooks and books are scattered on the table. Some of his hair are sticking onto his forehead. He looks so haggard and stressed. But I know his hard work won't be put into trash, I'll make sure it won't. 

Quarter to 4 when Sam messaged me that he's already downstairs, I pursed my lips and pick up my bag. 

"In, nasa baba na ang driver ko, aalis na ako." I said as I stand up. His head snap up and he stood up as well. 

"Ihahatid na kita--"

"No, I'll be fine, dito ka nalang." I cut him off, he slowly nod and I walk towards him to give him a kiss on the lips that lasted for around few seconds. 

"Take care," I said and he smiled, "Ikaw ang dapat mag-ingat. Hihintayin kita mamayang gabi." he said and I chuckled before walking towards the door, exiting the unit. 

I was holding on my stomach the whole time I'm getting myself to the lobby. Until I reach Sam's car and sat on the passenger seat, I can't make myself remove my hands. 

"Is the little one giving you a hard time?" he asked while driving. 

I turn to look at him and shake my head, "Morning sickness, but I'll be fine." 

I wasn't fine, during the travel, I had to make Sam stop driving for me to vomit at the side of the road. Then I'll ask him to stop by a convenience store to buy candy or food. If I'm not doing neither of the two, I'm asleep. Nagtanghalian muna kami s McDo sa Tagkawayan bago dumiretso sa bahay. 

I felt like my insides stepped back when I saw the gates. It's been so long since I went here. 

Nang pagbuksan ako ng Sam ng pinto ay hindi agad ako makagalaw, "Are you... having second thoughts ba?" Sam softly asked, I swallowed the lump in my throat before slowly shaking my head and heading out of the car. 

Pero sa totoo lang ay gusto ko nalang tumakbo paalis at bumalik ng Manila para yakapin si Inin at sabihin na buntis ako. 

"I'm fine," I said and he smiled before closing the door behind me. A maid opened the door for us and Theo is the one who welcomed me with a hug. 

"Ate!!" My brother who used to be 4 feet tall is now almost a 6 footer. 

"I'm glad you visited! The house missed you!" he happily said which made me giggle. He lead us to the dining where my stomach shrank just by the sight of mom. 

"Glad you two are here now." Mom said while sitting down on her usual spot. There's a lot of foods served on the table and it's honestly making me nauseous. 

Sam pulled a chair for me where I sat across mom, "Kamusta, Sam?" Mom asked, siya talaga ang kinamusta niya. 

Sam smiled, "I'm doing okay, tita." he replied and mom slowly nods. 

"You two have something to day, don't you? Your tito Thiago told me." Mom looked at dad who's across Sam. 

Dad looked at me first before nodding, "Yes, they have." Dad said, 

"So what is it? It should be about the marriage, diba? Lory had enough time, she's enjoying and abusing the time we gave her. We should be planning for the wedding already so the merging of the companies--"

"I don't think there would be any wedding anymore." I cut her off, I hang my head low and start playing with my fingers. 

"What do you mean? Don't embarrass me in front of Sam, Lory." Mom sternly said, I immediately felt my throat tighten but I manage to lift  my head up. 

I couldn't look at mom and instead looked at dad who have a worried face, "I'm pregnant," It almost came out as a whisper and I felt Sam grabbed my hand under the table. 

I heard mom scoffed, "Then you two should get married immediately!! Nakakahiya na ang laki na ng tiyan mo habang naglalakad papunta---"

"It's not Sam's." The room went silent. I heard the maids start exiting the room while I hear mom let go of her utensils. 

I glance at Dad then at Theo, both have a surprised expression printed on their face. 

I heard mom's chair moved, I hang my head low and the tears that have been threatening to fall can no longer be controlled and they just begun streaming down my cheeks. 

My eyes widened when I felt mom grab me by my hair and pull me out of my chair, resulting of me dropping on the floor. 

"Mom!!" 

"Laliana, ano ba!" Dad, Sam and Theo stood up from their seat to chase mom who's dragging me out of the dining. 

"I'm so disappointed at you!! I can't believe it!! How can you be this stupid, Louise!!" she shouted while dragging me towards the receiving area. 

"Mom!! Let go!! Please!!" I'm already shedding tears, napasigaw ako nang malakas akong itinulak ni mom sa sahig, unang tumama ang siko at kamay ko sa sahig na alam kong magsusugat. 

"For fuck's sake, Louise!!" Mom shouted, massaging her forehead. I immediately hugged myself, specially my stomach. Sam rushed towards me, sitting next to me and hugging me as I sobbed harder. 

"Let go of her, Sam! She's disgusting!! Nakakahiya! Ano nalang ang sasabihin ng mga investors! Anong sasabihin ng mom mo!?" Mom shouted, I closed my eyes as I felt Sam's warmth around me. 

"Tita!" 

Napabunghalit ako ng iyak nang bigla akong sipain ng aking ina sa binti, hindi lang iyon isa, kundi nasundan pa ng hindi ko na mabilang hanggang sa nahawakan na siya ni Dad at Theo. 

"Mom! Please! Huwag mo saktan si ate!!" Theo shouted, dad and Theo are struggling to held mom who's trying to get away from them and hit me once again. 

"Hindi ko alam kung saan ako nagkamali sa 'yo, Lory! Really?! Getting pregnant by someone else when you clearly have a fiance!? Cheating, Louise?! Really?!" she shouted in frustration and I slowly shake my head. 

"I wasn't cheating on Sam! Because we clearly do not have any relationship at all!! All those years!! We had to act as if there's something between us when clearly there isn't!" I shouted back, mom's eyes grew wide, bigla nitong kinuha ang vase sa tabi niya at ibinato sa akin na agad namang sinalag ni Sam gamit ang likod niya pero hindi nakalampas ang mga piraso na nabasag na tumama sa binti ko. 

"You!! You're insane!!--"

"No Mom!! You're insane!! All of these!! Happening just because of your selfishness!! All you ever think is about the business! Always about company and money!!" I cut her off, 

Mom looked at me with burning eyes, "Are you saying na mukha akong pera--"

"YES!! Yes you are!! Dahil iyon lang din naman ang dahilan kung bakit mo pinakasalan si--"

I wasn't able to finish my sentence when mom got out of dad's and Theo grip and push Sam to the side just to grab me by the neck and slap me with her right hand. 

"Liliana, stop!!" Dad had to hug mom on her waist just to pull her away while Sam helped me stand up and cover me with his left arm. 

"I did that for you!!-"

"For me?!! For yourself!! You never did anything for me!!" I shouted, and that's when the memories from my childhood start rushing. 

"You never treat me as a child!! You never treat me as your daughter! I'm always a curse at you!! Akala mo ba hindi ko alam na ipinapangwento mo sa mga tauhan mo na nasira ang buhay mo dahil sa 'kin!? I was a mistake to you!! All of these... ginawa mo para sa 'yo!!" Tears won't stop rushing down my cheeks. 

Mom slowly shakes her head, "You don't understand a thing, Louise!" she shouted and my brows furrowed. 

"Really mom? I don't? Since I was a kid, I understand that you won't love me, I understand that you will never treat me the way other moms treat their child!! I understand that... I won't be having the same life as the other's kids." I sobbed escaped my lips and I had to lean on Sam's shoulder to support my weight. 

"As I grew up, as I have friends, and I watch them live, I understand that not everyone gets the same treatment from the parents. Ali, Ali have the perfect family, mom. Her mom's loves her so much! Laging uma-attend si tita sa mga meetings sa school! Kapag mataas ang grade ni Ali, kumakain sila sa labas! Ako? Mataas, wala kang pake, mababa, galit ka! Wala kang pakialam sa nararamdaman ko!! Hindi mo ako kinakamusta! You never ask if I'm doing okay or how I am feeling! If I am struggling or not!! Anong hindi ko naiintindihan?!" Sam held me by the shoulders and waist to support myself from falling on my knees. 

"You're asking kung saan ka nagkulang sa pagpapalaki sa akin? Nagkulang sa pagiging ina." I had to chase my breath cause I'm starting to run out of air from crying. 

"If you're wondering if why I ended up like this... miserable, if that's how you see me. The answer is... I have a miserable mom." I wiped my tears with the back of my hands.

My mom doesn't even care, she's not shedding a tear, not even sad. 

I bit my lower lip, "All I asked is for a mother, care, love... if you think marrying a wealthy man gave me a good life, you're wrong... dad... or tito Thiago is a nice guy, but you are not. You're a bad mom, the worst I know." It came out as I whisper as I felt so weak. I lean closer to Sam and he immediately engulfed me with a hug. 

I saw mom slowly shake her head before letting out a scoff, "You're just like your father, manang-mana ka sa ama mo--"

"Mom!!! Would you stop and just admit that you're a bad mother?! Hindi ko nga kilala ang tatay ko!! You raised me--- no, scratch that. I raised myself while living and dealing with a mother like you! No thanks to you! I'm alive! You don't know how I just badly want to die and just be rebirth having a different mother! Having a loving and caring mother! Kung nagsisi ka na naging anak mo ako, ako rin!! Nagsisi ako na sa dinami-daming ina sa mundo! Ikaw pa ang naging ina ko!!" By the time I stopped shouting, I felt my vision starts getting blurry and felt like my head is spinning. 

This time.. finally, for the first time! I saw mom shed a tear. 

"You think you'll be a great mother, don't you? You'll just end up like me, Louise. You'll also need money to provide for your kid. You'll just be like me!" she shouted, I bit my lower lip and slowly shake my head. 

"No, I won't, I won't end up like you!! I'll love my child! I won't make them feel like a mistake or a curse! I'll treasure them! I'll give them all the love and care they deserve! Hindi ako magkukulang gaya mo! Gagawin ko lahat ng makakaya ko! You'll see! You'll watch me become a great mom! A mother you could never be!" Sam pulled me into a hug, making me face the wall, resting my head on his shoulder and rubbing my back as I cry harder on his shoulder. 

"Hindi ako magiging kagaya mo, magiging mabuti akong ina sa anak ko. Mamahalin ko siya, lalaki siya na parang normal na bata, wala siyang matatanggap na kahit anong sakit sa katawan. Lalaki siyang malusog, katawan at isipan. Hindi ako magiging kagaya mo, hindi." I chanted on Sam's shoulder.

"Lory," I heard dad's voice behind me. Until I felt his hand caress my back. Utay-utay akong kumalas sa pagkakayakap kay Sam at si dad naman ang agad sumalo sa akin. When I look at mom's direction, she's no longer there and is already going upstairs. 

"Halika, anak, halika." Dad's soft voices brought me into more tears. He guided me to the sofa as I couldn't break from the hug and just sobbed louder, echoing inside the whole house. 

"Bakit hindi mo siya kasama?" Dad softly asked, I don't want dad to think something bad about Inin so I immediately break from the hug and wiped my tears. 

"I won't tell him," I said and dad slowly nods. "Pero hindi ibig sabihin dad ay may masama siyang ginawa. He wants a baby, pero ako ang hindi magugustuhan ang magiging desisyon niya kapag nalaman niya." I said and dad nods while caressing my shoulders. 

"I understand, I understand your decision, anak. I respect whatever it is, I know you're doing things for a reason. Just know that I'm always here for you." he said, a tear escaping his eyes. 

I smiled at him before once again hugging him, "Thanks dad, thank you for understanding." 

Hindi na kami nagtagal pa sa bahay, ginamot lang ni Theo at Sam ang mga sugat ko at umalis na rin agad kami ni Sam. Hindi ko na kaya pa magtagal doon. 

Around Atimonan Quezon, Sam went through drive-thru, he didn't even bother asking me what I want and just bought my favorites. 

Natutulala ako habang kumakain, 'yong sakit ng mga sugat ko, hindi ko na sila maramdaman, pero 'yong sakit sa loob... para akong pinapatay. 

"Hindi man lang siya na-guilty." Nagsimula nanaman akong maiyak habang ngumunguya ng burger. 

"Hindi man lang siya na-apektuhan, she's... she's mental." I said while chewing, I lean on the window while looking outside the window. 

"What's your plan now? Anong kasunod mo na gagawin? Saan kana pupunta?" he asked, nalunok ko muna ang pagkain na nasa bibig ko at napakagat sa pang-ibaba kong labi. "Canada,"