"So, now we're down two members," says Meghan, still in shock at Jeff's abrupt departure. While I doubt she'd be anything but happy that he's gone, I can sense worry growing inside the other people in the room. One night isn't enough to process everything.

I'll have to dissimulate more, put out more fake smiles than ever. I can't afford a single slip-up, or I could get into massive trouble. I don't know if Peri, Brix or Tre trust me, and the same goes the other way around. Is the truth as it is, or is twisted at the parts of interest's convenience?

Panicking over the mess that has happened in the last few minutes, Peri decides that this meeting is over. "See you back on Monday, guys!" She waves everyone goodbye, except for Brix and me. Only the three of us are left.

We need to have a thorough conversation over the club, what being part of it entails and, most importantly, what secrets it hides.

***

Since the school basement floor has grown increasily unsafer in our eyes, we gather at Peri's. I text Mom, telling her subtly about a "change of plans." It's not the full truth, of course. I don't want her to panic over a school club. Well, The Burden of Breaking Hearts is not like the others. It's a lot more dangerous.

"As you know, Rieleigh, from now on, you're a member of the club," says Peri, trying to delay the explanation I need as much as she can. "As you see, tonight has been a mess. It's going to take time for you to adjust to it, I understand, but Brix and I will still be by your side as always."

I snap at her. "So, why have you never told me about it?"

"I thought you'd already understand. It's top secret. Like, Mission Impossible level top secret. One word to the wrong person, and we can get in deep trouble." Peri's words, though ominous, make sense. We can't have other people like Jeff, wreaking havoc at the first misstep and threatening to spill the tea on anything and anyone regardless of consequences.

Brix adds, "To make you understand how careful we have to be, I'll show you our diary. Take a look, but be careful. Nothing you learn has to come out of your mouth, or we'll have to kick you out of the club." As she warns me sternly, I consider the options in front of me. I don't really feel like being part of this club and would like to leave when the chance presents to me. However, this would entail betraying my friends.

I accept Brix' offer and open the club's diary. Why she keeps it is a mystery to me; I'll ask her later, though. Those pages won't read themselves. I have to start now, since the journal is quite big.

"You don't have to read everything," points out Peri. "The first pages are enough. So that you have an idea of who we are and what we do as a club."

Since the first pages are the ones that can confirm or change my impression, I follow Peri's advice. This means that, if I feel uncomfortable and want a way out, I can come up with a plan to leave without hurting anyone.

'Yesterday, I met Aubree Guthrie at the arcade by chance. Usually, I don't catch her anywhere out of club hours—I've heard she skips classes a lot, though. She finds them extremely boring.' Honestly, I can relate with Aubree. I don't miss school days on purpose, but most of the time I wish I were anything but in one of those stuffy classrooms.

'Out of the blue, she started flirting with me. At first I ignored her, thinking she wouldn't be serious. It turns out, she's had a crush on me since freshman year. Like, what? Is this a joke? Why would a reckless daredevil hang out, or even flirt, with a goody two shoes like me?'

I stop reading to ask, "Who wrote this excerpt?"

Peri answers quickly, "Marie Croft, a senior. I haven't seen her around a lot, to be fair. She has an extremely low consideration of herself."

"I can relate to her somehow. She seems to have a lot of questions to herself. I wonder if she has confided to anyone else in the club before or after writing in the diary."

Brix explains, "Usually, the secrets written on the club's diary are the untold ones that have never been revealed to anyone."

"Oh, now it makes sense. But why is Peri keeping the diary? Is she in charge of it?"

Peri nods. "Yes, I am. Club members come to me if they want to write something extremely intimate they don't trust sharing with anyone."

"You should try writing a piece yourself, too," continues Brix. "Don't worry. We won't read it in your presence, only later. Be honest, though. This is the purpose of the diary."

"I'll see if there's something I want to share there. For now, I'll just keep reading," I conclude.

"Fine. Why don't you go to page 36? There's a spicy confession—I don't know how you like it!"

I follow Brix' advice and turn to page 36. As expected, this extract is a hot one. Finding out who could've written it isn't an easy task, though.

'These girls are so not it. There's nothing interesting about them. They send me letters, drool over me, follow me wherever I want. But my heart is locked for all of them. They don't want to understand. There's only one girl I have eyes on—it's one out of the Club. Well, she plays hard to get, but I'm sure she'll cave.' Who is the author of this piece? And who are they talking about?

'One thing is certain: she's hot, really hot. I know, she's a senior and I shouldn't keep my hopes up, but I'm certain she'll find a soft spot for me in her heart. Maybe she'll accept an invitation at my place one day: dinner and then a pleasant night together. I don't think I need to go down through details...' This person is a creep. Why do I suspect they're some delusional sophomore who wants to act mature by trying to hit on older girls?

'I mean, I'm not the kind of person who gives up. However, when it comes to capturing a girl's heart, I don't know what to do anymore. She's perfect. She's everything I'd like in a woman. I think she's my ideal type! Come on. Sharp witted, smart, demure and... hot. How many times I've said hot, though? Okay. I need to stop. I'm a creep. I've got to get a grip.' I need a word with this person, no matter how old they are or what their true intentions are. If this is a prank, that's not it.

But, if this is serious, it's far worse than how Brix presented it. This behavior isn't attractive at all, it's disturbing. How the fuck can this person show so little dignity by simping for a girl like that?

I ask, my voice clouded by a mixture of annoyance and disgust, "Who is this idiot? And who the fuck are they dedicating this declaration of love to? Well, if it can be called as such." I cross my arms, making it clear I don't want to read a single page from that diary again.

This time, Brix stays quiet. Peri takes the initiative to answer, "The author of this... let's call it love letter, even though it's far from it... is Lyndall Stephen. A junior."

"Oh, gosh. I thought he'd be younger. I still don't change my mind. He sounds like a fucking perv."

"A what?" Peri dismisses my concerns with brazen laughter. "Rieleigh, what's the problem with you? You can say you don't like the content of the extract without throwing such heavy words in the bunch."

I snap back at her. "Fine. Then, who's his belle?"

Peri eyes Brix, who tries to avert their gaze. The two of them seem to dread the moment they have to tell the exact truth on this matter. It's like they don't want to get rid of that burden because they fear an even bigger one will fall on their shoulders.

I insist. "Who's that?'

Peri bites her nails. Brix sighs, knowing she can't escape backlash. Then, she mutters the answer I've been waiting for since reading those pages. "It's you, Rieleigh."

"Me? No... You're bluffing. It can't be true."

"Yes. You."