-12- (Last chapter)

When I came home from shopping today, there were pieces of paper on the floor with arrows on them. They led, lined with rose petals and candles, into our living room.

I followed the path the arrows pointed out to me and went into the living room where Zhan was sitting in a heart of candles waiting for me. In his hand he held a bouquet of red roses and a small box. I dropped my shopping bags and went to Zhan with my heart pounding.

"Exactly to the day, two years have passed since you and I became a couple. And Yibo, I love you even more today than two years ago. In my life I have often been uncertain. But not about one thing. Namely that I love you and want to be with you for the rest of our lives. You are the most important person in my life..."

I interrupted Zhan with: "Don't make it so exciting ZhanZhan. I'll say yes no matter what you say."

Zhan started laughing heartily and asked me: "Then why did I go to the extra trouble of thinking up a text?"

"Mhhh, no idea? I definitely say yes. And I love you too ZhanZhan."

Zhan opened the little box and took out the ring. He put it on my finger and said, "I have to ask you anyway. Will you marry me?"

"Of course I will. Absolutely!" I said happily and fell into Zhan's arms.

We have been together for two years now and we are still very, very happy. And hopefully that will never change.

I'm still studying and now I'm working as a medical assistant with Zhan. Like him, I also want to become a specialist in internal medicine. He supports me a lot and as soon as I finish my studies, we might want to open our own practice. At least this is a dream of ours, and I hope we can make it come true.

Zhan's parents would certainly be very happy about it. We see them twice a month. If it were up to me, I would like to see them more often. But because of our work, I can't. Zhan's mother and I have a very close relationship and we talk on the phone a lot. She has become a second mother to me and I have been calling her Mom for over a year now after she offered it to me.

My brother and I now meet once a week if it is possible besides work. He got married a few months ago and will soon become a father. He is completely off the track about it, he is really happy about it, but he is also afraid of being a bad father.

Speaking of father. My father died a year ago. Although the doctors warned him explicitly not to continue his life like this so far, he did not follow their advice. He had another heart attack and this time no one was there to notice it in time. He died while sitting in his car in the supermarket parking lot waiting for one of his wives.

His main wife had left him shortly after the operation. She told me that it was because of what my mother had written to her. But to this day she has not told me what was in the letter. Apparently it was enough to give her the strength to leave my father. She moved in with my brother and received financial support from him.

When my father died, the inheritance was divided between her and us children. She sold the house that my father had signed over to her, hoping she would return to him, and from the sale of the house, she kept half of the money from it and the other half, divided it between my brother and me. My father and I talked again in peace shortly after his surgery. We shook hands, but I could not forgive him.

I took the money to finance my studies with it. The rest of the money is in a joint savings account of Zhan and me. We don't know yet what we want to do with our saved money and are still saving diligently.

Who knows, maybe we will use it for our common practice? Since Zhan is the owner of our apartment, we do not worry about housing. We both love the apartment and moving is not an option. Maybe we could use some of the money and take a trip around the world at some point? Who knows.

Oh yes, the other women from my father went away empty handed. They can't claim anything either, because their marriages are illegal in this country. My mother had exactly the same fear back then. She also feared that if my father died, she and I would end up on the street. But now I know that his main wife would never have let that happen.

Sometimes it makes me sad when I look at my mother's diaries. She wrote about her so full of love that I wish she had revealed her feelings to her and not just written them down and tucked them away. Yes, maybe the two of them would have had a hard time if they had allowed their feelings and left my father. But, then maybe good times would have come. But they did not even try. The fear was greater.

I still remember, how big my fear was to be disappointed again myself. How afraid I was to open my heart again. And then I see myself now and am glad that I was brave and allowed it to happen. Yes, I was courageous and I was rewarded with a great loving, caring, warm, handsome man who reads every wish from my eyes.

Every day I am allowed to wake up and fall asleep next to this wonderful man. Every day he makes me feel like I am the only person in his life.

Isn't it amazing that Zhan and I, ever since that day in the ambulance, haven't been apart for a single day? A few hours at the most, but never more. And yet we are never annoyed with each other. On the contrary. We miss each other when we don't see each other for a few hours.

Recently I learned that my ex-wife had no more luck with men. Her then fiancé broke up with her after hearing how she treated me. After that she had met two other men. But they were gone as quickly as they came.

The last one she is said to have been with was an older man. But since she played the same game with him as she did with me back then, that she couldn't have painless sex, he insisted on accompanying her to the gynecologist and getting counseling together. She could only stall him for a few more weeks until he realized that she had lied to him.

At least that is what her sister told me. Zhan and I had gone for an ice cream in the city center when we met her. Her sister is so completely different from my ex. She is married, has two children and is a quiet and very level-headed woman. She also told me that she turned away from her family when she learned the truth about why her sister married me and how it ended.

Oh yes, one more thing. I have decided, even if I'm doing well now, to work through my past in a psychotherapy and get help. As I said, I am now doing well and I rarely think about my past. But once the memories come, it is often difficult for me to let them go.

So far Zhan was always there and helped me. But what if he is not with me at that moment? Will I have another panic attack then? I do not want that. The one I had was enough for me and it was bad enough to never forget this feeling of not being able to breathe.

Zhan's mother recommended a colleague of hers. She told me that she was a good psychologist who could certainly help me. I can't get rid of my past and all my experiences, but hopefully I will learn to deal with them better.

What Zhan said to me back then was true. If I am not willing to get help myself, then therapy is useless. In the meantime, I have reached the point where I want to do therapy voluntarily.

Oh, I just thought of something else we can do with the money we saved. Maybe we can celebrate our wedding on the yacht where Zhan and I slept with each other for the first time? Maybe we rent the yacht for our honeymoon. I should definitely suggest this idea to ZhanZhan.

Zhan holds me in his arms, kisses my forehead and asks me, "Well, where are you right now with your thoughts?"

I grin and say: "At our wedding. I've already got an idea."

"Oh really? What kind of idea is that?"

"Let's get married on the yacht? Or rent it for our honeymoon?"

"Anything you want, babe. And I like that idea. Especially the idea of the honeymoon. Two or three weeks at sea with you all alone. Mmm, that's something. I'd like that."

"Then we should definitely get an offer. And we could have our wedding suits tailored to fit."

"I can see you're looking forward to our wedding."

"Yes, I am. I would love to marry you as soon as possible."

"Okay, babe. But first the trials and then the wedding."

"So three more months?"

"At least. After all, a wedding doesn't happen overnight."

"That's true. Do you think your mom will help me?"

"What kind of question is that? She's been waiting for this forever."

"Yeah, right. She had already asked, after half a year, when we both want to get married."

"I could have proposed then. But I wanted you to finish your studies in peace. In three months, you'll be done and we can get married."

"Mhm. But today we're celebrating our engagement and tomorrow we'll tell your parents and my big brother."

"Absolutely." Zhan replied happily.

The two years went by so fast, I can't believe it. It sometimes seems like only yesterday that I wondered if I could really love a man. I never had anything with a man before. I never had feelings for a man before either. Until I met Zhan and he entered my broken world and fixed it for me.

I asked him then, "Can you make me smile again?" And he said yes. He really did it and not only made me smile again, but he also made me laugh.

I am now 28 years old and I have experienced a lot in my life. I've had some ups and a lot of downs. But for two years now, my life has been like a dream. I have started studying again and am fulfilling my dream of being a doctor. I gave love another chance and fell in love again. I have found my dream man. I will marry my dream man and I will not stop smiling.

I have earned this happiness and I will never let go. And with ZhanZhan I have a person at my side, who will certainly not disappoint or leave me, even if it should become difficult.

My name is Wang Yibo and I have finally arrived. And I can finally smile again.

Thanks for reading.

End!