Chapter 18 - Jenga
Adrian
I knock on her door before letting myself in. She’s sitting on her bed, talking to Carmen, and they’re both laughing. I smile at the scene in front of me, not having expected it when I walked in here.
She has Teddy on her lap, and it causes me to smile even more. She hasn’t let go of him since I gave him to her. I didn’t think this could ever happen, but I have to say that I’m actually jealous of a stuffed animal.
“Hey,” she looks at me worriedly. I can tell she’s already wondering what I’m doing here.
“Sorry, I didn’t realize you were busy. I can come back,” I tell her.
She exchanges a glance with Carmen and she nods at her.
“Um, actually it’s okay. We were just wrapping up,” Sofia says.
“Bueno, niña. Los dejo,” Carmen says getting up and heading my way towards the entrance of the room. She gives me a knowing smile before leaving and closing the door behind her.
I quickly join Sofia on her bed. She’s already in her pajamas, wearing these really cute shorts with a top, and her eyeglasses. To this day, I never understand how she can look so adorable and sexy as hell at the same time.
“Do you think she knows about us?” I ask her.
“Um … yeah,” she answers.
“Sorry, I probably made it really obvious right now.”
“Well, that too,” she laughs. “But besides that, I kind of told her.”
“Sofia! You told her?” I ask incredulously.
“I’m sorry! I had no one else to talk to about you and it was driving me crazy. She already knew anyway even before I told her anything and she swore to secrecy.”
“How did she know? You really think she’s not gonna say anything?”
“Last week when you stayed with me after the endoscopy. And no, believe it or not she’s more loyal to me than to my parents.”
“Well, this isn’t fair, you know. What if I want to talk to someone about you? Who am I gonna tell?”
Sofia shrugs. “Well, you could always talk to Carmen, being that she knows already.”
I laugh at her comment. “Secret confidants don’t work that way. We can’t share the same person. It’s bias.”
“Why not? It’ll make her job easier if she’s getting the scoop from both sides.”
“Hmm. That actually makes a lot of sense,” I say thinking about it. “Maybe I’ll book an appointment with her later,” I joke.
“What are you going to tell her about me?” she asks curiously.
“That I have the sexiest girlfriend in the world to ever wear eyeglasses,” I say touching her nose.
I must have been staring at her too much because she suddenly takes off her glasses as if she’s embarrassed to be seen in them.
“No, don’t,” I tell her softly. “Keep them on.”
She looks at me in confusion, but puts them back on nonetheless. “You like them?”
“I love them,” I tell her.
“You’re crazy, Adrian,” she says laughing.
I shake my head at her. “You’re crazy for not knowing how hot they make you look. I swear you look like every male fantasy right now.”
She blushes and looks away from me. “Aren’t you supposed to be at a soccer game?”
“I faked an injury,” I shrug.
“Adrian! What the hell? Have you forgotten you’re the bloody team captain?” She sets Teddy to the side and crosses her arms. Damn, she must be really pissed to put him down. Not the reaction I was expecting.
“We were up 4-0 at half-time. There was no way we were losing that game. Besides, I really wanted to see you.”
“Adrian, you can’t start messing around with that stuff. What if there was a scout or something at the game?”
“I’m not messing around. It’s still important to me, but my priorities have changed.”
“Priorities?”
“Yeah. Hint, that means you.”
“Adrian …” she says a little breathless and I think I’ve won the argument.
I can’t resist any longer and lean down to kiss her softly. At first she doesn’t move, but I trace my tongue on her bottom lip and she opens her mouth for me. I delve inside and let out a moan when her tongue meets mine.
God, I’ve missed this. I feel like we’ve barely had any alone time since her parents have been back. But I knew they were going to be out at some event tonight so I couldn’t waste this opportunity to be alone with her.
Our kiss quickly becomes urgent and I trail my hands down her body. I grab her by the waist and bring her down on the bed as I lean over her, kissing her neck and starting the trail downwards.
“No, Adrian,” she says and I immediately freeze.
“Shit, I’m sorry, baby,” I say, pulling back from her. Sometimes I forget how innocent she is and how she may not want this or be ready for it.
She unexpectedly chuckles. “No, I meant not here. Can we go to your room?”
What? We’ve never been in my room before and I’m not sure if I can handle the implications of that. “Are you sure? I mean, we don’t have to. We can just hang out or whatever.”
She laughs and jumps off the bed, grabbing my hand to follow her and leading me out of her room. I guess I have my answer so I follow her in a drunken stupor. I would follow her anywhere.
My mind is still spinning when she guides me into my room as if I were unfamiliar with it and locks the door behind us. The lights are off but I can still clearly see her through the moonlight casting through my windows. I don’t even bother turning them on as I pick her up and take the remaining strides to lay her down on my bed.
Holy shit, she’s in my bed. And she’s mine. How are those two things in combination even possible right now? Even separately they hardly make sense. I don’t know how many times I’ve imagined this. Imagined her here with me. I take a moment to look at her and she looks so damn beautiful. She has this expectant look on her face, telling me she wants this as much as I do.
I wish I could take her away with me somewhere for an entire weekend so we can truly be together without worrying about other people. But I want her so much right now and I don’t think either of us could wait until that happens.
I take off her glasses and set them on my night table. As much as I love them, she’s not going to need them anytime soon. I suddenly feel nervous about this as I’m not sure how far she wants to take it. I end up rolling her on top of me, letting her take the lead and decide.
She looks at me hesitantly at first, but soon leans down to kiss me. It doesn’t take us long to resume the pace we were at before in her room, and my hands roam slowly down her body. I know it’s only been a few weeks since she started taking medicine for her nausea, but I can already tell she’s gained some of her weight back and I love feeling the extra pounds that belong on her body.
She breaks the kiss and sits up on my lap. She gradually takes her top off, looking at me the entire time. She’s more confident as well and it couldn’t make me happier. I immediately sit up with her, removing my own shirt before I bring her close to me and kiss her as I run my hands down her bare back.
My entire body heats up with her like this in my arms and I’m so ready for her. It’s like every single nerve I have has received an impulse and is waiting for the transmission onwards. I’m pretty sure Sofia feels it too because she starts moving slightly against me, and it feels incredible with just her pajama bottoms and my gym shorts between us.
The friction almost becomes too much too soon so I flip her back on the bed so that she’s underneath me and I’m hovering over her. She sighs in complaint and quickly tugs at my waist, pulling my shorts down my legs and leaving me just in my boxers. This is a dangerous move she’s just made, but I’m not about to stop her if that’s what she wants. Clearly she’s in charge tonight.
She wraps her arms around my neck, bringing my weight down on top of her, and practically purrs when our bodies align again. I continue moving against her in the same manner as before, but now I feel it even more. She’s so soft and warm and I don’t think I’ve ever been this hard in my life. I can’t avoid the deep moan that escapes my lips as she brings her hands behind my back and presses my hips further into her.
“Adrian, we have to be quiet,” she whispers. “In case …”
“Sorry,” I whisper back. “Don’t do that then,” I say smiling.
She gets this naughty look on her face and I already know what’s coming when she does it again. I’m able to contain my moan this time, but it still feels so damn good and she looks so damn sexy.
“Sofia,” I warn.
She giggles and I swear her sounds will be the death of me. I lift my weight off of her, deciding it’s time to reverse this situation before it ends too soon. I kiss down her breasts, slowly pulling down her bottoms in the process. I realize she’s not wearing any panties as I kiss her stomach and my hands travel down to the apex of her thighs on their own accord.
I probably wouldn’t have moved so fast had I known, but she’s now completely naked before me and I can’t contain my excitement any longer. It’s an incredible sight and I want her so badly. But more than anything, I’m dying to taste her. It’s been on my mind for weeks now and I simply can’t resist the temptation now that it’s in front of me.
“Baby, I want to ….”
She’s already nodding her head and clutching the sheets before I finish that sentence. I continue kissing down her body until I reach her center. I nudge her legs wider and I hear her breathing falter. I look back up at her in case she’s changed her mind about this, praying that she hasn’t.
“Don’t stop. Please don’t stop,” she whispers harshly.
I thank the good guy above and don’t hesitate. I lean forward and gently swipe my tongue over her. God, she’s so delicious. She whimpers softly and it fuels my body.
She’s already so wet and I know this isn’t going to take long for her. Even I need to be careful as I’m already working hard on not spilling in my boxers. I continue tasting her slowly, savoring every moment of this, as she carries on whimpering so softly it’s unbelievable.
“Adrian,” she gasps right when I hit a certain spot.
I make sure to continue my efforts in the same place and pick up the speed. I feel her hands tangle in my hair and at first I think she’s going to push me away, but her fingers dig into my nape, urging me on. I groan at the sensation and the knowledge that she wants even more from me.
She’s so close now, I can tell. As if her constant sighs of pleasure weren’t enough indication, she lets out an uncharacteristic shriek and squirms underneath me. Seconds later I feel her whole body tremble and she shies away from me. I kiss her thighs and back up her body until I bring her close to me again.
I try to look at her but she’s hiding in my chest and I can tell she’s embarrassed by what just took place. I decide to give her a minute to recuperate.
“Darling, you okay?” I ask running my hand down her back.
She nods and grabs on to my waist. “That was amazing, Adrian. Is it always like that?” she whispers.
I chuckle at her innocent comment and revel in the fact that I’m the first person to do that for her. “I guess. I really wouldn’t know how it feels for you.”
“My whole body is tingling and I can barely feel my legs,” she says methodically.
“That’s good then,” I laugh softly.
She brings her hand towards my chest and starts tracing it with her fingers. I flinch when her hand lowers down my abs and they slide over the waistband of my boxers.
“Baby, you don’t have to,” I immediately tell her, even though my body is screaming for it. I just don’t want her to feel pressured into doing this if she doesn’t want to.
She raises her head from my chest and looks me square in the eye with complete confidence. “Are you going to start with that again?”
“Um …” I lose my train of thought as she touches me over my boxers and I groan instead.
“That’s what I thought,” she giggles, leaning closer into me.
If this were a game of chess, she just gave me a check. I can sense the immediate capture to follow and I don’t think I have any legal moves left. I close my eyes, trying to concentrate on what I want to tell her but I can barely process a rational thought. “It’s just … I can wait.”
“Do you really wanna wait, Adrian? Let me venture a guess,” she laughs slipping her hand underneath my boxers. “By the looks of it, I would say it’s a clear no.”
Make that a double check. “You have answers for everything, don’t you?” I whisper, surrendering deeply in anticipation.
“Mmm-hmm,” she says, wrapping her soft hand firmly around me.
Checkmate. Although this can’t be considered a loss in any shape or form. If anything, I’ve just won. Chess never made sense to me anyway.
“Sofia,” I moan at how good that feels, opening my eyes to look at her. Her eyes are wide and she’s biting her lip. I can’t help but grin back at her approval.
“Just be quiet, okay?” she says sliding her hand up and down my length.
“That’s gonna be really hard, darling,” I say, already breathing heavy.
“Yeah, I can tell, captain,” she says giggling.
God, I love when she teases me. I pull back her hair and let my hands roam down her body, and I already know this isn’t going to last very long either.
I can tell she wasn’t expecting me to do this, but just touching her and the sight of her body turns me on equally as much.
Her breathing accelerates as I palm her breasts and I know she’s getting turned on by it too. I want to hear her sounds again, so I bring my hand down her stomach and push two fingers inside her.
“Adrian,” she says, completely breathless and confused.
“Please, baby. I’m already close and you feel so good,” I tell her.
She lets out a soft whimper and accelerates her movements, grabbing on to me more firmly. The combination of it all officially knocks me out of my sanity.
“Sofia … ”
I can’t take it any longer and capture her mouth. I feel like I haven’t kissed her in ages and I really need to get lost in her again. She immediately responds to me, kissing me back passionately, and it makes me go crazy. She makes me feel so alive. I push into her hand a few times and that’s all it takes until I easily let go, moaning deeply into her mouth.
It takes me a while to compose myself and gather my bearings. But I immediately realize I need to go the bathroom before I make an even bigger mess of myself. She eventually removes her hand from me and I do the same from her.
“Just give me a minute,” I tell her, kissing her forehead.
She nods and I head towards the bathroom to clean up and change into a fresh pair of boxers. When I get back Sofia has already put her pajamas back on and is sexily lying on my bed. I wish she could spend the night with me here.
I pick her up playfully and bring her underneath the covers with me.
“Adrian, I can’t sleep here,” she says dejected.
“I know. Just for a little bit? I’ll take you back afterwards to your room. Unless you want to go sleep downstairs?” I ask hopeful.
“That’s not a good idea. My parents have been checking up on me a lot lately. I think they feel bad they weren’t here for my endoscopy even though I’ve told them not to worry about it.”
“Okay. Yeah, better not to risk it.” She’s completely right and I’ve been so lax about it lately too. But for some reason, I can’t bring myself to keep our relationship a secret any longer even if it means I can’t stay here anymore.
“Just don’t let me fall asleep here,” she says.
“Okay, darling. I won’t,” I promise, drawing her near me.
She sighs and I brush her hair back, tracing my fingers down her arm afterwards. I still can’t believe we just did all that. “Is your body still tingling?” I ask her smiling.
“Yeah,” she answers shyly.
I reach for her hand and interlace our fingers together in between us on the bed. I love that I can make her feel that way.
“How … how was it for you?” she asks softly.
I take a moment to respond because it’s difficult to put in words. I end up telling her exactly what I was thinking earlier. “It was incredible. You make me feel so alive, Sofia. I’ve never felt that before. Not even close.”
She smiles at me. “You make me feel that way too, Adrian.”
“I wish I could take you away somewhere. Just the two of us. Maybe we can plan something for Spring Break,” I tell her.
“Yeah, that would be amazing,” she says. “But I don’t know how we could do it. My parents are probably gonna want to go to Marbella.”
“I know,” I interrupt her. “I’ve been trying to think of something.”
“Why don’t you just say you’re going to visit your parents in Chicago? I’m sure you want to see them anyway, right?”
My body completely freezes at her suggestion. What she said is so thoughtful and under any other circumstances I would have completely agreed.
“That … that’s not gonna work, Sofia,” I tell her softly.
“Why not? Think about it. It’s perfect. I would love to see them, actually. I miss them. Don’t you?”
My chest constricts the more she keeps talking and I know I have to switch this conversation soon before I lose it in front of her. Why the fuck did I have to bring up Spring Break?
“No, Sofia. We can’t,” I say sternly. “Listen, why don’t we –”
“You don’t want them to know about me? I think they would be happy for us. Your mom would always drop little comments by me now that I think about it,” she presses.
I feel like someone just ripped my throat out. She has no idea how much I want them to know about her. To show up at our old house and present Sofia to them as my girlfriend. As the girl of my dreams I told them so many times I was deeply in love with.
“No, baby. It’s not that at all. They’re just busy,” I say hoarsely and I hear my voice quiver at the lie. Fuck, I really can’t do this right now. I don’t want to lie to her.
“Okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” she says apologetically. “I just don’t understand why you never talk about them anymore. Just because they moved back doesn’t mean –”
“Enough, Sofia! Fucking drop it!”
She recoils from me, and I immediately regret raising my voice at her even if it was inadvertently caused by my turbulent state. An unbearable silence ensues between us so much that all I can hear is the echo of the harsh words I just spewed at her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you,” I say in anguish.
“Um … maybe I should go back to my room,” she says nervously. She starts to get out of my bed and I panic.
“No, Sofia. Please. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine, Adrian. I need to go back anyway,” she says, heading towards the door.
I run after her, wanting to stop her, but I don’t want to force her if she doesn’t want to stay. I’ve obviously scared her and need to gain her trust back.
I stand in front of the door with my hands up. “Please, Sofia. I didn’t mean it. I’ll tell you. Just please, stay.”
She closes her eyes and shakes her head. “Let’s just talk tomorrow, okay? I have to go.” Her voice is stoic and emotionless and it reminds me of the polite facade she usually puts up in front of other people. It nearly kills me.
She unlocks the door and I involuntarily step aside. She opens the door and quickly slips outside, as if she couldn’t wait to get out of here.
“Sofia,” I plead one last time, but the only response I get is the click of the door closing shut in front of me.
What the fuck did I just do?
My legs give out and I crumble to the floor. I feel like my entire world just fell apart again, piece by piece. Like a freaking game of Jenga, when you remove that last block and it causes the whole tower to fall. She’s made me feel progressively taller, but maybe I’ve been unstable this entire time. Only she has the same power to hold me together and break me apart. I rest my head over my knees as I hug them into my chest, attempting to breathe again, and I feel the tears fall down my face for the first time since they all left me.
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