Title: Heart in a Shell

Author: Osasucyy111

Cover: The first thing a reader sees is the cover so that is the first area I like to examine. Your title "Heart in a Shell" is original and promises an emotional depthness that you do deliver on. The red font is eye catching against the dark background but is also relevant to the darker themes of your story. And I think you can never go wrong with the tension-filled gaze of your protagonist front and center. All in all, no complaints.

Blurb: I found the description to be a bit wordy. Perhaps it's all the full stops. Perhaps shortening it to a more concise description of what the reader may expect will help in this regard.
There are two words capitalized 'her' and the 'high' in high school... I'm not sure what the purpose of this was.
The story promises lots of mystery and thrills. It's hard for me to determine if you are making good on this promise since this review is based solely on the seven chapters out. But for anyone searching for a romance with a dark mystery looming in the background, I'm sure this would make them interested enough to click 'Read'.

Introduction: I will divide Introduction up into 3 parts because i think there are 3 parts to your introduction: Your beginning authors note, your prologue, your first two chapters.

Author's note: You come out introducing yourself letting your readers know you are going to be an engaging author who will most likely respond to comments and questions. I appreciate that. I have to give you kudos for adding your own copyright closure that leaves nothing to the imagination. I've thought about adding my own to my own stories. I've already given a note inline comment about moving your warning to the beginning of the author's note considering not everyone reads through all of it. Mature themes that can trigger readers like abuse, rape, and such should always be addressed as soon as possible.
I also like the idea that you are committing yourself to a slow burn romance. They can be quite tedious and you as an author and the biggest fan of the ships you create can get impatient. As another author who does not like the "love at first sight.... with no cause or reason" cliche, I should know.

And you gave credit to the one who created your cover, so claps for you.
As I said, your "introduction/authors note" is lengthy so readers may pass over it but those who do read it will be only more willing to read the story of such a humble first time author.
And honestly, having an author say they will be doing lots of rewriting and editing just tells me that they care about their work and are always looking to improve their writing (which makes me know my constructive criticism will be taken with grace lol)

Prologue---- Great length. Short and simple but leaves a lot of questions to make readers want more. There is something so heartbreaking about the inner thoughts of a child in such a bad situation. The suspense was super thick and brilliant.

First two chapters-- Introductions are all about hooking the audience then providing enough information about the character and setting to keep the reader grounded and interested in what may happen next. You hooked efficiently with your prologue. When you begin your first chapter you have a time stamp to let us know it is 2016.... this had me a little jarred. I'd prefer for there to be a bit more of a grounding between the prologue and present day like how much time has elapsed.

In these first two chapters, we get to know about Rachel's family life, how she interacts with them as well as her aspirations which consist of making art and going to public school for the first time.... which seem like easily attainable goals but her mother's strange rules and the fact that they constantly move around is immediately presented as a mystery.
As far as what introductions are supposed to do, you've passed with flying colors.

Characters: I have decided to focus these reviews on Rachel, Papa James, Rachel's mom, and Mr. Creepy.

RACHEL: Due to first person narrative with phenomenal descriptive language , we have a clear idea of the emotional suppression our protagonist subjects herself to as well as her anxiety and panic attacks no doubt brought on by the childhood traumas she doesn't remember and her having little to no social interaction prior to the beginning of the book.

She is described as overdramatic but given how shes a red blooded artist, it tracks. Her temper is at war with her anxiety... I'm not totally if it makes sense that she is so full of anxiety and prone to panic attacks but picks up a fight with the proclaimed "king of the school" on the first day of school.... instead of giving into a nervous fit of vapers like I was expecting her to do... she does what all wattpad girls do when confronted with bullying, she holds her ground and makes a nemesis. Not saying I didn't enjoy that scene SOOO very much cause lord knows I wanted to jump into this fictional world and slam Harry's face into his "special table"... but I was kinda expecting Mr. Creepy to materialize and save her...

Okay, yeah, I'm for girl power and a man doesn't need to rescue her... but given her inexperience with society, it seemed a more fitting alternative. ((Her bravery was already shown when she confronted drunk Mr. Creepy and her naivety was in full display when she rushed out just to keep him from urinating on her flowers... and her tender heartedness was demonstrated when she took him to the shack and undressed him (her internal thoughts are hilarious by the way)... different facets of her personality is already shown... even a bit of stubbornness and temper with her mom and papa james so the bravado she displayed in the cafeteria was a bit out of character, unnecessary, and honestly unoriginal.

PAPA JAMES is Rachel's secret supporter, conspirator, and "best stepdad". While I was happy Rachel had someone in her corner, it rubbed me the wrong way that he is doing stuff behind his wife's back. But as you stated in your introduction quite well, we dont have to always like characters. And I'm not here to like every single character, just to make sure their actions match up to the personalities you give them and so you can know what your readers are thinking about characters.... I can't lie.... I was getting some really concerning vibes around the time he was insisting she not call him Papa anymore. I'm starting to think he may be unhappy with his marriage with her mom and looking at her as a very inappropriate alternative. Given the dark themes to the story, this was a possibility but I'm not positive if you were trying to give off this feeling or if I was just reading a bit too far between the lines. The bit of background about james and the mom being forbidden high school sweethearts made me rethink this. Either way, them both lying about that workshop is gonna be a definite source of conflict later on.

THE MOM: I'm not entirely sure if her actual name has been mentioned or not. She has definitely been through something that has her terrified to the point that she is overly protective of Rachel. The fact that she has declared art is off limits is baffling to me and I cannot figure out why that would be. If Rachel's nightmares are repressed memories, it is hinted strongly her mom is a victim of rape and she hasn't been entirely honest herself about Rachel's biological dad.

MR. CREEPY is quite the character. The only things I have to go on with him is his drunk state and his unseen actions. I am doing as you said and giving him all the benefits of doubt I can bestow given his inebriated state. BUT let me iterate that a person's drunkenness does not and will not ever excuse a person's actions.
Mr. Creepy seems to be a self destructive drunk as he gets into a fight and a light pole and "loses" tearing up his knuckles. And before and after that, he seemed like he was going to sexually assault Rachel for knocking him down. It is unclear what exactly he was going to do or what he even did do since Rachel's mind went into overdrive and she seemed to blackout.
The whole scene was funny but also worrisome. Definitely had me on the edge of the seat.
When he leaves the next morning, we know that he left his wallet but he folded up the blanket she had laid over him. A courteous thing to do, I think. As I've stated in my comments, I dont see why Rachel got so angry over him leaving without a word. He may have been embarrassed and he woke up in a strange place completely naked.... and may or may not have the memory of how he got there....

It's hard to form an opinion on him given I havent seen him sober. All I can say is he needs to realize he is not the sort who can have a good time drunk with his bi polarness. I feel sorry for him lol But if he's the Richard from the blurb which I would wager he is, I wonder what his connection to Rachel and her family secrets is.

Grammar: minor typos and misplaced commas... a common mistake would be making sure that the same speaker's dialogue is in the same paragraph:

"If I begin a sentence or if I even end the sentence up here, it should still be in the same paragraph if I am still talking to you," CheshireVibes explained in a fake british accident. She paused a moment to sip some tea, "Do you see what I mean?"

Consistent or Coherent Narrative: Yes

Plot: it's too early to give a good review on plot with only seven chapters to base it on. You've set up some questions and still need to bring the sober Richard into the mix but there's enough plot devices and hints dropped to know there is a mysterious past to dig into as well as a current lie that will cause conflict. The high school drama and panic attacks promised in the blurb is only beginning.

Vocabulary/Descriptive language: A+. Large part of your success so far is due to the immersive language you use. Readers can really feel Rachel's complex emotions. Bravo!

Promo/tags: all tags seem appropriate except the millionaire one. I suppose someone is secretly a millionaire.

Ending**: Ongoing status.