Title: Your Love and My Lie

Author: SaymyAli

Cover: I like the picture in the cover. The story focuses on an attraction between Julia and James so the visual of a woman in such a forlorn embrace fits. The man's face is turned away. This gives him more of an air of mystery. While James is not really a mystery, he does live a double life of secrets so the fact his face is obscured on the cover hints at his lies. I do have concerns about the font of the title. It is too bold and is hard to read at first glance though I agree with the slanted positioning. The author's name is also hard to distinguish. This may be absolved by changing the font and color.

Blurb: Your blurb is a few quotes from the book. While it does give off the impression of a dramatic romance, it fails to let the reader know exactly what they are getting into. I would've liked to know that I was about to read a romance centered on lies and adultery.

Introduction: First and foremost, there REALLY should have been a Mature Rated warning somewhere on the beginning. It got erotic and it caught me completely off guard.

There was a message about this book being a part of the friendship series. As a reader who has not read this series, I can say that luckily one can read "Your Love and My Lies" without having read the other books just fine but I was confused when it referenced other characters. I barely got any information on them or how they are relevant. Isabel, a deceased character, comes to mind. When you reference her, you should have had Julia go in depth what happened to her. You don't have to give a whole summary of what happened in your other book but atleast give us something.

You gave some pictures of the characters in the beginning as many writers do.... they were appealing but I would've liked to see these characters described in more depth in your actual writing.

The first chapter didn't leave me feeling great, owed to the character developments and the grammar and structure which I will go into in just a bit.

Characters: I am going to discuss Julia, James, Elsa, and Hunter. I will also talk a little about Dr Taylor.

JULIA: As one half of the main characters, I do not feel any relation to her as a reader. I feel sorry for her but that's basically it. She doesnt have a stand out personality and looking at character pictures, though she is pretty, I personally find Elsa even more stunning. (That's just a personal opinion though.)

You have tried to display that she has a kindness about her showing her interest in talking with Lori, an elderly patient, or her concern with Hunter. Both of these attempts fall short. I'm not even sure what her job is at the hospital she works at... and I definitely should. She said she wears scrubs that makes her look like a nurse... so it doesn't sound like she is a nurse. Clarify her position and level of education. If she is a nurse, don't say she is wearing clothing that makes her look like a nurse.... just say she is one.... Anyways, she seems to use Lori to ignore her other duties at work. That's the impression I got.
Her concern for Hunter was half-hearted at best. If a kid showed up bloody and bruised, there would have been an attempt to call CPS and seperate the parents from the child immediately. Julia, especially as his nurse,could've been the one to do this but she didn't...

JAMES: I honestly don't see why James is so into Julia. Throughout the book, he is adamant when he proclaims that Julia is the only one for him. From what information was supplied, they had a one night stand that resulted in this die-hard affection before the beginning of the book. We do not get ANY details on how that night came about. We don't get any substance to this all-consuming love. To me, it looks more like a strong case of lust. If that was your intention as an author, then you did it.
James is an utterly deplorable character. He hints that Elsa betrayed him somehow... that he was somehow coerced into a marriage with her? But that is hardly an excuse for being the neglectful father and horrid husband he is. He says Hunter means the world to him but he would leave him for days on end with Elsa, who he knows has a drinking problem and gets abusive when she's out of her mind, just so he can mess around with Julia. He ignores Elsa'a questions when she shows genuine concern for him and when she cries and begs him to forgive her for whatever happened in the past. It is truly heartbreaking.
Then in the most recent chapters, when his double life is threatening to break through to the light cause Julia has learned he has a secret son.... he lies straight to her face with the most ridiculous lie claiming not only that Hunter isn't really his son but also Hunter's mother was dead..... both lies disgust me as a parent.

Anything that could've been deemed as "cute" or "aww" worthy between him and Julia just seems disgusting to me given his flaws. It's more than being an unfaithful husband... cause in some adaptations of Authorian legends, I could ship Lancelot and Guinivere all day despite the fact she is betraying her sacred vow of marriage. It's a tragic love story. There's nothing tragic in this except for how Hunter is caught in the middle.

And I do not get why James has two names unless he gave his one night stand a completely fake name... i guess that will be explained in a bit but since half the time we are in James' POV, I feel like this shouldn't be a mystery to the readers.

I do not know if you made James' character so unlikable on purpose or what... but if it was not intentional and you were hoping on a better reception to his love for Julia then I'd do some major overhaul on his character.

ELSA: Elsa is truly the victim of this story. I can't ignore that she is an abusive mother. The only thing James has said that I agree with is that Elsa is sick. She does need help but James has failed to help her. Instead he plans to run away with his mistress and take their son from her....
Let me point out that Elsa is described as a stay at home mom and housewife... I have experienced the social isolation of this position and so I sympathize. She seems to drink after her husband doesn't give her the time of day.... while I don't think she should get hunter until she cleans herself up.. just taking him away and giving him to your mistress is the wrong move on so many levels.

HUNTER: As with all characters, a description of this character would do wonders. It doesn't give your book justice to just keep repeating that he is a cute kid. How is he cute? Big soulful eyes? Or the way he pouts his bottom lip? Get creative.
I feel sorry for Hunter. No one in this book is in his corner. And no, not even Julia as much as you want to try to make him have an attachment to her... it just isn't happening. I'm not feeling it. The fact that Elsa came and got him at the end of the last chapter and he was screaming and crying not wanting to go was even more heartbreaking by the fact that Julia's thoughts were nowhere near the abuse this kid is being subjected to or the fact he's going back to an abusive home. Or even the fact that James is his dad and had abandoned his son to this abusive home for days on end.... none of those thoughts or feelings register cause the only thing she can think of is how is she going to survive the heartbreak of losing James due to his own lies.... seriously?

DR TAYLOR The hospital and its staff are the worst. The fact that the doctors and nurses laugh at their patients in the first chapter made me have an immediate distaste for him. His interest in Julia seems just as shallow as James'... James just happens to be better looking and more unavailable. For the most part, I found nothing bad about Dr Taylor, seeing him as a better alternative to the lying James.

The new developments about his character are discussed below under Plot...

Grammar: You seem to struggle with some english sentence structure. From picking the wrong words or the wrong tense to awkward phrasing. Correcting these will take time but will be worth it to create a coherent narrative that won't have readers confused. I edited a lot in the first few chapters but I couldn't keep it up. The best thing I can suggest to correct this problem is for you to either get an editor to make these changes or better yet, fix them yourself after you have read a few books with proper English structured writing. I'd be happy to suggest some books for you.

Another note is when you are telling a story in first person, use a variety of words when beginning sentences. Be aware of how many times you say "I did this. I did that." I made an extensive note about this in the very first paragraph in the very first chapter. Please apply that note throughout your book when you edit.

Consistent or Coherent Narrative: No

Plot: The plot is interesting and I will say that you transition between POVs effortlessly. That's a skill many wish for. That being said, you need to name your chapters so it's easier for readers to know where they are.

In most recent chapters, there is about to be a plot shift now that Julia knows of James' secret. The timing of this is just right to me. And I can see you are going to be using Dr Taylor's revealed checkered past to keep things spicy. I have no objection to this except for how it was introduced. When James asked his subordinate to dig up information on the doctor, it seemed like he was doing it just because Taylor has expressed an interest in Julia before.... that would make better sense if Dr. Taylor made some kind of worrisome, predatory advance on her prior to this... but he did not. In fact, he has been a completely harmless background character so much so that this reveal just didn't make sense.
Another way you could have this information come about and not have James look so obsessed is you can have James be contacted by the parents of the missing woman in the beginning. Have him meet with them and find out the number one suspect is Doctor Taylor.

Vocabulary/Descriptive language: Its hard to rate your vocabulary with your structure and phrasing all over the place but I will say that you are in your element in your more erotic sexual scenes. They are written quite well. But there's always room for improvement.

Promo/tags: Your tags promise a plottwist.... I havent seen evidence of that yet.... you are rated high in 'myterious'... but that's not really a word. I think you meant #mysterious

Ending**: Ongoing status.

All in all, characters are not my favorite but they have inspired me to feel enough to be angry so that's something. Plot is promising. Just work on your grammar and structure and describe your characters more or you'll be doing a major disservice to yourself and your readers.