Dog

There once was a dog called Daisid,

With a coat of gold

And eyes of brown.

She sat upon the chair like a throne,

For she was the prettiest girl in town.

Bean wasn't blessed with many braincells,

A few slices of bread

Short of a sandwich,

And more than a few sandwiches short

Of a picnic.

Bean's big, clumsy feet

Often pottered down the street,

And his tail would dash from side to side

When his eyes fell upon Daisid's

Gorgeous guise.

She ignored him as she ignored all men;

Her pedigree blood was too valuable

To mix with them.

After all, she thought,

Bean often ate his own sick.

To Bean, this was normal behaviour,

As was licking his own backside

And rudely barking at strangers.

Bean was a dog, you see -

Daisid was too, but she thought otherwise.

It was a quiet evening when Bean made his move,

Sidling up to Daisid out of the blue.

He attempted to mount her,

Then cried in dismay as she bit his nose

And chased him away.

Daisid went home,

To sleep blessedly alone,

Whilst Bean nursed his poorly nose.

The moral, they say,

Is to keep well away

From a woman when she's already

Told you "No".