Louisa Lloyd

After carrying Edward's body out of the station, Derek comes back to me, as I sit outside with a cup of warm tea and a few tears running down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." He whispers as he takes a seat beside me. "Why were you so mad at him?"

"He told Erica about Angelina and Brett." I hiccup and bring he earn liquid to my lips. "And she threw it at my face like it was my fault."

"It wasn't your fault." Derek rubs my arms. "Don't you dare carry that weight on your shoulders."

"But I can't help it. I left London and they die. How can I not feel this way? How am I supposed to feel then?"

He doesn't answer me. It's not like he can, he wasn't there and neither was I. Maybe I could have done something to prevent their deaths, but I wasn't there.

I wasn't there.

"I wasn't there." I whisper as more tears run down my already wet cheeks.

Not knowing what could've happened had I been there is killing me. Add the fact I'm slowly walking towards my own death and you see how horrible my life is right now.

But there are people who have it worse. And hey don't complain. So suck it up and stop crying, you fool!

"It's okay." He strokes my hair and I clean my eyes with the back of my hands.

"Are you taking his body to Deaton?"

"Yeah... I'll probably do it tomorrow or something. I have a lot to take care of now, maybe Scott can help me." He whispers. "Are you going to be okay?"

I've had enough of this. People dying everywhere I go, people getting hurt at every corner and I can't do a thing to prevent them from suffering. All because I have the visions and get too scared to act. What about that time I saw Stiles would fall from his bed and hurt his shoulder?

I did nothing. I was afraid that if I decided to help he would get hurt even more. So I let him have a sore shoulder for an entire week and heard him complain about it for hours.

I'm tired of feeling like a burden and not being able to help people. That's what I have always wanted, ever since I was a kid. And that need to help others became stronger once I came back to Beacon Hills and learnt my family's fate.

Do you know what I just decided? I'm too much. I hurt people with my presence. I endanger them. They're safer without me here.

Guess what?

After the concert, I'm gone.

•^•^•^•^•^•

Standing in the middle of the examining room, Deaton holds up a vial of clear liquid to the light. Scott and Stiles step forward for a closer look.

"Ketamine?"

"Same thing we use on the dogs. Just a higher dosage." He explains. Deaton hands Scott the vial and a hypodermic. "If you can get close enough to Jackson, it should slow him down enough to buy you some time. And Louisa can help you with that."

"Ketamine for the Kanima." Stiles chants under his breath. "Yeah, that wasn't funny."

Deaton places a glass jar in front of Stiles filled with gray ash. The symbol on the top of the jar is for Rowan.

"This is a sample of what you'll use to create the barrier. Now, this part is for you, Stiles. And only you."

"That sounds like a lot of pressure. Could we find a slightly less pressure-filled task for me?"

Deaton pours a touch of the ash into his hand to show him.

"It's from a mountain ash tree which is believed by many cultures to protect against the supernatural. This office is lined with mountain ash wood which makes it difficult for someone like Scott to cause me any trouble."

"So I spread this around the whole building and neither Jackson or whoever's controlling him won't be able to cross it?" Stiles is nervous, he even scratches his neck and bites his lips.

"They'll be trapped." Deaton confirms.

"That doesn't sound too hard." I roll my eyes at their stupidity.

I'm the one who's going to do something really bad that night. They just have to worry about Jackson and not getting killed.

Oh yeah.

"That's not all there is. Think of it like gunpowder. It's just powder until a spark ignites it. You need to be that spark, Stiles."

"If you mean light myself on fire, I'm not sure I'm up for that."

"Let me try a different analogy. I used to play golf. What's interesting about the best golfers is they never swing without first imagining where they want the ball to go. They see it in their mind. And their mind takes over. It can be pretty extraordinary what the force of your own will can accomplish."

"Force of will."

"If this is going to work, Stiles, you have to believe it." Stiles nods.

"I'll help. No matter what." I swear and Scott pats my back as I get all emotional. "This has to end now, Jackson and whoever is controlling him... They have to stop killing people."

As he senses my sadness, Scott circles my shaky shoulders and let's his chin rest on top of my head. Stiles joins in on our hug and I hug the two boys. I know I'm not crying because of the victims. Okay, I'm crying because if that as well. But mainly because I love them so much and I'll have to leave them soon.

And that hurts my heart. But it's for the best. I have to do it, even if it kills me.

At least it will kill me away from them, keeping the danger far away from them.

•^•^•^•^•^•

Do you know what the ridiculous side of this situation is? I was the one picking Matt up, not the other way around. And it was embarrassing.

I've always imagined I'd be waiting for him in the porch of Scott's house, and that he'd arrive in his cool red car, honking and smiling happily at his date. Me. But no.

All he did was apologize and it was getting old by the time we arrived at the rave.

My car slides into a space outside the warehouse this rave is going to take place at. Matt and I step out while other cars drift in.

"Sorry I couldn't drive again. My Dad usually lends me the car."

"No problem. I like driving."

An awkward moment silently passes by and it becomes even more awkward as he holds out his hand for me. I reluctantly take it. As we disappear into the building, I can see the crowd that surges into the corridor, hurriedly turning one corner after another toward the muffled beat of noise.

Because that's what it was: not music, just noise.

As we walk past a wall, a long mirror is hanging from the ceiling and I take a moment to inspect my appearance.

The red dress Lydia and Allison chose for me accentuates my curves and the high-heels they paired with the dress make my legs longer and body thinner.

All this beauty wasted on a stupid concert, or rave or party, or whatever this is. I don't even want to be here, do I? No, I don't.

But I can't stop now.

Searching for some familiar faces among the crowd, I find the one I've been looking for. Isaac's cold-blooded eyes provide a stark contrast to the excited young faces around us. I shiver as my eyes take in his slender figure, hungrily wishing for more.

Why can't I be here with him? Why did I have to accept Matt's invitation? Of course I know the answer to that question. Scott and I have been waiting for this, because of the whole 'Kanima issue'.

Following just behind Isaac, an increasingly less confident Erica throws nervous glances around as the crowd pushes down into an old, winding stairwell. The concert-goers charge down with rising excitement.

But me? I want to go away from this place as fast as possible and sleep.

Not before disappearing forever.

The beat shakes the walls, pounding harder and harder as we reach the last step, bodies disappearing into almost complete darkness.

The music hits like a clap of thunder as we enter he already full room. A field of lasers descend over the bodies in the packed main room. The most devoted fans push up against a caged Dj booth.

Looks around, Isaac and Erica are now nowhere to be seen. Jackson is MIA as well, like Stiles and Scott. Looks like all I have to do now is 'enjoy' my time with Matt and wait for the right moment to help the others with Jackson.

I smile at my date, trying to act normal. But then a look of alarm crosses my face when I find Scott and Allison arguing in the corner.

After a few minutes of awkward silence between Matt and I, with me silently moving around with the song, my eyes roam the room and the couple is no longer arguing

While the DJ brings his audience to new sonic highs, off in the shadows among plastic sheets and mesh cages, Scott hands the ampule of Ketamine to Isaac, and I almost run to him. Isaac can't be the one to do this. He is going to get hurt.

I can't do that. I have to wait for the right moment or I'll ruin this.

"Do you want to dance?" I ask, breaking the dead silence between us.

"Sure."

With his fingers brushing against my arm, he brings us closer to the wall. Moving closer, he brings his body to mine, dancing with me.

A low growl is heard from behind Matt and I raise my eyes to see Isaac's eyes glued to us. Smirking and gaining courage that I didn't know I had in me, I do the unexpected.

My fingers lightly guide his hands to my hips.
Grinding my body against his, I think I stole both Isaac's and Matt's attentions, music and movement hypnotizing Matt as we come closer and closer.

He lets out a low groan as my hips slam against his. I don't feel anything but repulsion as his hands run up and down my hips. My eyes land on Isaac once again, and he throws daggers to Matt's head with his flaming yellow eyes.

A few minutes of Matt and I dancing, I discover we don't have any chemistry and I have to end this as soon as I can. As much as I don't like this guy, I don't want to hurt his feelings.

Noticing Jackson walking around with his eyes fixated on a person in front of him, I have to leave Matt. And with Isaac and Erica right behind Jackson, someone has to help them if something goes wrong.

And this is my chance to leave Matt. Sorry buddy.

"I have to go to the bathroom. I'll be back in a few minutes."

Leaving without giving Matt a chance to answer me, I follow Isaac as he, after jamming the syringe in Jackson's neck, picks his body, preventing him from fall on the floor.

Dropping the needle to hold him up, Isaac looks to Erica with a triumphant smile.

"Nice." I compliment them, clapping my hands and fist-bumping Erica. "Want some help with him?"

Isaac shakes his head and carries Jackson's passed out body around his shoulders. Letting my eyes wonder down south, I blush at the thought that enters my mind.

But his butt is so cute.

Entering a small supply room, Isaac and I prop Jackson in a chair. The door swings open and Stiles whips inside, surprising us all.

"Just me, just me. Is he okay?"

Turning back to Jackson, Isaac flicks open his hand to reveal claws at his fingertips.

"Let's find out."

"Don't do anything stupid." I warn, leaning against the door.

Not that I could stop Jackson from leaving through the door, I'm just getting comfortable because I bet this is going to be a long night.

The last night.

Isaac slashes down. But without moving his head or even opening his eyes, Jackson's hand instantly wraps around Isaac's, catching him by the wrist in mid-strike.

Breath held, the three of us watch, waiting for the worst. But Jackson's hand slowly relaxes and lets go of Isaac. Everyone breathes.

"Let's not try anything like that again, okay?" My friend Stiles takes a deep breath and says.

"I thought the Ketamine was supposed to put him out?" Isaac questions.

"Apparently this is all we get. So let's hope whoever's controlling him decided to show up tonight."

"I'm here." Jackson says in a creepy voice. My eyes widen as we turn to look at Jackson. Head hanging to the side, his lips move. "Right here with you."

Stiles cautiously approaches the seated Jackson as I lean forward in case something bad happens.

"Jackson? Is that you?"

"Us. We're all here."

Stiles throws a look to Erica and Isaac. They both shake their heads at him, bewildered.

"Are you the one killing people?"

"We're the ones killing murderers."

"So everyone you've killed so far-"

"Deserved it."

"We have a little rule book that says that you only kill murderers. Ever break the rules?"

"Anything can break if enough pressure is applied."

"That doesn't sound good for us." Stiles tells us before returning to Jackson. "So the people you're killing are all murderers?"

"All. Each. Every one."

When silence rules the room, I choose to eliminate it and ask a question of my own. A question that has been bothering me since this conversation started.

"Who did they murder?"

"Me." Jackson hisses at me.

"What? What do you mean you?" Leaving the safety of the door, I kneel in front of Jackson.

"They murdered me."

I look to the others questioningly. But both Isaac and Erica now appear suddenly fearful, only Stiles remaining somehow unaffected by his words. I turn around to see Jackson's head now standing straight, eyes open and glowing.

"They murdered me. And they won't do it again."

Stiles, Erica and Isaac cautiously inch back from Jackson but I keep my ground while scales rapidly begin forming on his arms, skin changing texture right before their eyes.

"Somebody please give him more Ketamine. Please, do it now." Stiles pleas.

"We don't have anymore."

Isaac raises the ampule to show it's completely empty. Taking this as my que to step back as well, Isaac protects me with his arms and I stand behind his warm body.

And Jackson is now on his feet, mouth opening to reveal two rows of razor sharp teeth.

Half in, half out of the transformation, Jackson's head snaps about, scales rippling up his neck. Eyes locked on the sight, Stiles's hand comes up to push at the others.

"Out, out, go-"

The door slams open and shuts just as quickly. The four of us make it outside of the room now.

"Find something to block the door-" I instruct but it's the wall next to the door that explodes outward. Jackson crashes through and is gone before the splinters hit the floor.

As fast as I can, I grab Isaac's hand and we run out of the building like there's fire hot on our heels. But we stop in front of the ashes.

Damn.

As the 'party' is now over, people begin streaming out the door, heading for their cars. Stiles races from the crowd behind us. His eyes immediately land on Derek approaching.

Isaac and I stay behind and I want to tell him everything about my plan. But I can't, otherwise he'll try to stop me and I won't be able to say no and resist him.

I have to do this on my own. That doesn't mean I can't say goodbye to him in a non-suspicious way.

Isaac and Erica pause on the warehouse side of the ash, looking frightened. They can't cross. Like me. We're stuck here.

"It's working." Stiles whispers, astonished.

But then a sound rises above the chatter of the crowd, soaring into my super hearing. A howling.

"Scott." Derek and I say at the same time, hearing his loud and pained howl.

Without even thinking, Derek bolts for the warehouse. But his boots stop right in front of the ash barrier. He can't move.

"Stiles! Stiles, break the barrier!"

"Are you kidding? It's working. For the first time ever one of our plans is actually working!"

"Scott's dying!" I yell and run for the door, but Isaac's strong arms grab me from behind and stops me from leaving. "Let me go!"

"What? How do you know-" Stiles asks Derek but he interrupts the shaking boy.

"I just know! Break the barrier. Do it now." His voice thunders at him.

Nearly shaken off his feet, Stiles hurries toward the ash line. He kneels in front of it, brings his hand up with the palm out, and swings down.

Derek runs inside as fast as he can and Isaac carries me out of there, towards the car Scott's mother let me borrow.

Resting my hands on top of his by my hips I sigh. I have to do this now before I start doubting myself and end up staying.

I can't stay.

"Isaac..."

"Yeah?"

We stay close together with my back pressed against his chest, my eyes closed, listening to the soft beating of his heart. Just thinking of hurting that amazing heart of his destroys my own. But it's for their own good.

"Do you regret leaving me?" I start, feeling the tears burning my eyes.

"Every day." He whispers, his chin resting on top of my head.

"I know why you did it, although I believe it was a very stupid reason, but tou were trying to protect me and I'll never forget what you did." Taking a deep breath, I let my feelings flow like the words flying from my mouth. "I know you probably don't feel the same way... I love you, and I'll never forget you. No matter where I go."

Hinting that I will, somehow, leave in my speech was harder than I thought it would be.

"Just don't forget about me." I plea, closing my eyes and letting my head fall forward, my hair covering the tears falling from my eyes.

"I'm sorry." Isaac kisses the top of my head once again and the safety and warmth of his body and arms abandon me.

With his back to me, he walks away now that the ash barrier has been broken. I let the tears fall freely down my face and sob violently. Here I am, pouring my heart out and he leaves like he doesn't care.

At least I have to know something before I leave forever. I have to be sure I can rely on his love, on the thought of him feeling the same way, to survive the hard times ahead of me.

Turn around... Isaac... Turn around if you love me...

After chanting this in my head over and over and over again, Isaac stops near the parking lot. He quickly turns around and lunges for me, his warm, soft lips collide with mine in a hungry movement.

The cold night is no longer chilly. The warmth irradiating from his body spreads to mine and I'm suddenly warm.

His manly scent doesn't help me either. He smells like the freshly washed bedsheets Scott's mom helped me store inside my wardrobe last night. And I feel so safe here with him.

Taking a deep breath and taking his lips off of line, Isaac looks mad. For a moment, I think maybe he is angry, but before I could ponder it further, he yanks me to him and covers my mouth with his in another hungry kiss.

I respond immediately, surprising myself. His mouth is so warm, the caress of his lips softer than I could have ever imagined. He tastes tentatively with his tongue, and I open my mouth with a low moan.

No one around us can ever stop this moment from behind beyond perfect. Just the fact he's here with me, and we're kissing again, after so many months without him against me is enough to make me cry in joy.

My salty tears manage to get down to our joined mouths and I taste them as he leaves my mouth for a few seconds to kiss other spots on my face. The happiness I feel can never be replaced by anything else. Or no one else. Only Isaac.

"Isaac..." Leaning my forehead against his, I know he has the right to an explanation. I just can't tell him everything or where I plan on going. "I meant what I said... I do love you and-"

He interrupts me by slamming our lips together once again. My body is no longer in my control as my arms wrap themselves around his neck and my fingers run through his soft hair.

"I'm sorry for treating you like shit after Derek turned me." He says with his hands on my cheeks. His ragged breaths hit my face and I believe mine are just as exasperated as his. "I wanted to do this for so long."

I smile sadly, knowing for sure this is the last time I'm ever going to be with him.

"I'm sorry." I say before pecking his lips one last time. Another wave of tears prickles my eyes and I wipe them away. "I'm really sorry."

"Stop apologizing. This isn't your fault at all."

I shake my head and detach my body from his. I have to do this now. And Isaac makes it easier for me as he opens his mouth to speak.

"I have to find Scott."

"Be careful." I say through my tears.

For the last time, he caresses my wet cheeks and longly kisses my forehead. Watching him leave breaks my heart and I don't let my sadness overwhelm me now.

Stiles is now gone as well, leaving me and a few other people in the parking lot of the building. Taking this as my cue to disappear, I run to the car and grab he bag in which I packed my clothes, shower stuff and a few objects I can't survive without, like my favorite book and the presents I've received from my friends here, mainly the photo we took a few months ago, when everything was alright.

Leaving everything behind without even glancing back, I take my heels off and feel the cold cemented floor beneath my feet. It doesn't hurt. With the back safely secured to my back, I start walking.

Walking and running, like the scarier monster in the world is after me and getting closer. But that's the thing: the scariest monster in the world is indeed after me. And getting closer with each passing second.

Death.

•^•^•^•^•^•^•

Please don't kill me, okay? I know you want to but don't do it.
I wouldn't be able to update ;) 
Hope you liked this as much as I did. There's only one chapter left for this book to end and I'll start book 2 in a few days. I just have to get some ideas straight and we're done :)
Bye guys

Ps: don't hate me.