⚠️ This imagine will contain triggering topics. If you're not comfortable reading things like that, then this book is not for you. If you continue reading DESPITE the warning, don't say that I didn't leave a disclaimer. This comfort scenario will be talking about  binge-eating & Intentional starvation to punish oneself with a slight mention of insomnia.  This book is meant to be a comfort not just for me but for others who might be going through the same things as I deal with on a day-to-day basis. To those of you out there suffering from any type of ED (Eating disorder) or body image struggles, just know I'm right there with you, and you aren't alone in your struggles. I feel for you and hope you recover or learn to love yourself despite your troubles. Don't starve yourself or push yourself to reach unattainable beauty standards pushed by social media & celebrities. They might say "Beauty is pain" but it's not supposed to hurt. It's not supposed to cause damage later on or make you hate yourself. If you wish to lose or gain weight, do it in ways that won't harm your body and get you results you're happy with. By eating right, getting plenty of exercise, and making sure you don't overeat junk food or fast food. Without further ado! Let's get into this chapter!

Today was like any other day. Get up at 9, take care of my business, check my phone for a few minutes, and lay in bed after walking around the house... Notice anything off about that list?

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I didn't mention anything about eating, did I? Having anything to eat is usually the last thing that's on my mind during the day. Anytime I do think to eat anything, I typically get sidetracked by something else or just tide myself over with something to drink. I didn't know I wasn't supposed to drink on an empty stomach. Even when I hear my stomach growling in bed under my warm blankets, my thoughts aren't to eat. I just lay there, staring at my phone while my TV plays in the background like white noise. Even now, when my brain is telling me to get up, go grab some food, anything to fill the bottomless pit I call my stomach.

     I have my days when I gorge on all my favorite foods until my face is a mess and my stomach is more stuffed than a turkey on Thanksgiving Day... On other days, I don't eat for a day or two and say I'm not hungry while lying out of my ass with my stomach growling in betrayal and drooling at the thought of something delicious. Do you know how you're supposed to eat 3 meals a day? Since I started to gain weight over the years, I sometimes go about my day with 2 meals or, as of recently, only one meal and skip the other two. That's not healthy I know, but I can't begin to describe how upsetting it is to eat mindlessly until my stomach is uncomfortably full, and I feel like I'm ready to pop.

     I know I shouldn't starve myself, but I also know I shouldn't eat too much. It's not like I want to do these things when other factors come to play a role in my overeating and not eating. Factors such as stress, being body-shamed, having others point out how much I eat, being told to eat less, and the biggest factors in all of this are Anxiety and Depression. I haven't been having such a good week, and now I'm just laying down, not getting up despite my body's very vocal request for food. It's because I know that one plate or even two more won't be enough. I can blame myself for that along with the trauma and stressful/depressing events that have plagued me for years now. Even though I know I should eat, most of the meal skips are out of fear that I will overeat until I have nothing left... Then I'll blame myself for not controlling myself and cry because I didn't restrain myself from eating more than needed to sate my hunger. 

     As I'm lost in thought, I hear a knock at the door along with faint muffled voices that I can't make out because of how far they are, and the walls aren't thin enough to hear through. I finally hear the door to my apartment unlock, paired with two footsteps making their way inside as the voices become a bit clearer. 'What are Mikey and Baji doing here?! Did we have plans today?' I thought as I moved to sit up, keeping my chest covered as I slip on some clothes to cover my partially naked body under the sheets. I got dressed just in time because the two boys in question opened the door without knocking, I guess I got distracted and didn't notice the two texting me while I just lay in bed.  "What are you guys doing here?" I asked as I looked at them, thankful that I was covered by my blanket as I gathered my clothes to get dressed. "We came to check on ya! What? Ya don't want us to be here or somethin'?" Baji teased with his usual toothy grin, hands in his pockets as he looked my way. "Tamaaaaa~!!!!!!! I've been texting you for an hourrrr!  Did you see our messages in the group chat?" Mikey whined as he hugged me in his arms, I froze up when he hugged me. 

   "I'm sorry... I've been laying in bed for the past few minutes. I only ever got up to use the bathroom or walk around out of habit then come right back here to lay down..." I admitted, wincing at the hunger pangs in my stomach. Not only that, but I was already in trouble when my stomach growled at all three of us, looking down at the floor embarrassed. Mikey and Baji both looked at me, then at each other. Baji came close to me, leaning his head down as his raven locks cascaded over his shoulder with the motion. His hair moved like the waves of the ocean as strands fell in front of him. I almost didn't hear him speak as he looked down at me while Mikey looked up at me. 

"Did you even eat in between that time you spent walking around and laying in bed?" Baji worried, his usually narrow eyes softened in concern as he looked me over before picking me up and putting me back in bed.

"... There's not much I can cook that'll fill me up for a few hours until my next meal...," I confessed, feeling their scrutiny as I hung my head in shame. Mikey was quick to climb into bed next to me. After nodding at Baji, the latter pulled out his phone to make a call. It was difficult for me to hear the other voice, but from the responses, the other person didn't seem pleased either. Despite the situation, Mikey and Baji were still there for me; providing me with comfort and support in the form of their physical presence and words of encouragement. "Is that why you didn't make lunch? Were you feeling under the weather?" Mikey expressed doubt, firmly pressing his nose against my cheek while he gazed at me from his position on my chest.

  I kept my mouth shut, gazing up at the ceiling as my stomach snarled again, reminding me to get some food soon, grasping my stomach as a cramp hits me. It's not even an hour, and we hear a knock at the front door. Baji goes to answer it, and he exchanges words with the other voice who I eventually recognize as Draken. I can hear the rustling of bags from my bed as well as items being put down. Another voice? Mitsuya's here too? I don't have much of a chance to dwell on the thought as Baji returns to my room with a proud grin on his face. "Problem solved~ Your brothers are in the kitchen cookin' up somethin' for ya!" The raven haired delinquent announced, walking over to sit on the bed with Mikey and me as we waited for the other two to finish cooking a meal for me to eat. What I wouldn't know is that the two homemakers in question would be pulling all the stops to make sure I ate today as well as have something to eat for a good while. Draken called us as they finished cooking after minutes had passed with us inside my room. From the moment we left my room after I got dressed, I felt nothing but comfort and love as the surrounding boys laughed and shared jokes around the dining table while we ate the lunch that was made.

    Sometimes, you need company to enjoy your meals... At least that's my excuse for right now. There's just something sad and lonely about eating by yourself. Like remember when you first enroll in school, and you have to eat alone at lunch before you get to know anyone for the first few days you're the "new student"? Imagine that, but having the house to yourself with no one to eat with every day at home. That's how I felt. It was a relief not to have someone limit how much food I can eat at a time or tell me I need to eat more/less, which caused weight fluctuations because my body was trying to keep up. An even bigger weight off my shoulders when I had no one to breathe down my neck or actively starve me by scolding me about my overeating when I was barely getting by. It was nice for a while, but then it was lonely... I had no motivation to eat since there was no one else in the apartment but me... I'd often resort to having conversations with myself in my head or talking to the air in hopes it dulled the lonely pang in my heart as I ate whatever I made at the table. It got to where I would just take my food to my room and eat it there while listening to music or watching TV to fill the vacant air in my home. Draken snapped me out of my deep thinking, putting his hand on my shoulder, not even aware that I had zoned out, and he had been trying to catch my attention.

"You've been getting like that a lot more lately... Is everything okay?", Draken gave my shoulder a comforting squeeze as the others shared the same look of worry. I wanted to nod and wipe the worry from their minds, but I couldn't when that would be a blatant lie. Instead, I just looked down at my lap and cried before I confessed to everything. My demotivation for eating my daily meals, why I hadn't been eating much, and why it always seemed like I switched off as soon as I got home to the empty apartment. All the answers were loneliness, and the uneasiness I felt when eating alone because of paranoia.

 They all exchanged a look of agreement as they discussed how to assist me and my predicament. As he continued to observe with anguished lilac irises, Mitsuya spit out a proposition. "Why don't we invite them to join us for lunches together? Maybe schedule meals from time to time so that it won't be so quiet and lonely." His big brother instincts were taking over, and all he wanted was for the hurt to stop. Mikey and Baji appeared to support his proposal as they hummed in agreement. Mikey and Baji decided that being their silly selves would lift my mood and encourage me to eat more of my food as it laid untouched on my plate. It worked. I cracked a smile and laughed. The whole meal, we ate and laughed together as they had lifted the suffocating sad mood into a happier one. Mikey had been sharing some of the fun fights they had gotten into recently, earning a proud huff from Baji, as the latter did little jabs in the air to mimic how he had fought. I hadn't even realized I'd finished my food through the whole conversation, the dragon twins sharing grins of triumph as my plate had been cleared by my absentminded eating.

     The remainder of the afternoon was spent hanging out and talking, mostly about the issues I'd been having with meal prep and eating better. Mitsuya stepped up to volunteer to be my teacher in the kitchen, since I didn't know many dishes to cook. He and Draken had also bought groceries on the ride here, so we'd have ingredients to use for meals. Since that day, Draken now had two teens to look after and make sure they ate properly every day. Even though it wasn't necessary, Draken, Mitsuya, Baji, and even Mikey would make sure I ate at school too. If I didn't have time to make a bento for lunch, Draken or Mitsuya would have a backup just for me to eat. It took away any temptation to just skip out of disappointment by forgetting or not getting up early enough to squeeze in making lunch. The other two would share their lunches with me instead, eventually three of them, as they had filled Kazutora in with what was going on. Safe to say that my weight eventually stayed the same, as I was back to the standard 2 to 3 meals a day. They sometimes caved if I was brought to eat out, just so they could see me happy and full for tomorrow. While at home, they would put their feet down and catch me in the act of going for midnight snacks if I already had dinner. I remember one night, I woke up and went to get some leftovers to eat, only for my phone to ring with Draken's caller ID shining in the dark living room.

   If I ever forgot to eat at a certain time, Baji would pick up on it quick and share some of his milder foods with me. If I was ever hungry or hadn't eaten for a few days, even minutes, he'd worry his sweet little head off and buy all the foods he could get for me with Shinichiro's help. The two boys even invite me to their homes to eat with their families, since the parent I was staying with never was home and left me to fend for myself. This also goes for getting proper amounts of sleep too. 

If I couldn't sleep on a school night, I would just lay in bed until coincidentally I hear a buzzer for my apartment. I shuffle in my robe and go to open the door to reveal Mikey in his sleepwear with a stuffed animal under his arm. 

  "I heard you can't sleep... heh, I couldn't sleep either, so I came down so we can get some sleep. Nothin says good night's sleep like being cuddled under the blankets with another person, right?", The blond boy would say as I wordlessly stepped aside to let him in, shutting the door behind him and locked it. He'd grab my hand and lead the way back to my room, climbing under the covers as I followed right after when he moved over to make room. The two of us would cuddle up together under the warm, fluffy blanket as Mikey got comfortable and rested on me, while I held him in my arms and rested my head in his soft, blonde hair. Sleeping over was a nightly routine for Mikey and me as sharing lunches was for me and Baji. Funny enough, Baji would call first thing in the morning at 5 to ask if I wanted to help him make breakfast here at my place the day after Mikey comes over to have a sleepover. Let me tell you, Baji is an amazing cook if you watch him and help him cook. That being said, I think it's really an excuse to see me in an apron and cook together. Mikey doesn't mind too much as long as he gets to taste what we make too.

These two are my greatest treasures, along with the others I have in my heart. They may not know much or pick up on everything, but they make up for it by being themselves and caring for me to their best ability. Some things may require help from our friends when the two don't know what to do to help. Mikey and Baji can handle any others as they have prior experience or natural instincts that guide them to solve the problem. They may seem like idiots, they are but they're my idiots and I love them to death and wouldn't trade them for anything in the world...<3

Side note: Saw a guy on a motorcycle the other day and he made me think of Baji so I had my hair done somewhat like Baji's only for said hairstyle to get ruined when put into a ponytail.