-36- The Grand Final Show

Everyone was running back and forth like crazy the whole morning and nobody could sit still for even five minutes. Tonight's the night, tonight's the big finale show. Tonight there will be a winner and a loser. But actually, both groups are already winners.

Because only our two groups made it to the final and not only because we have many fans. It's because of our skills and talent.

When you consider that Zhan's group XNINE was almost unknown when the competition started and they are now our strongest competitors, it's more than a strong achievement. And that's why, whether they win tonight or not, they are already the biggest winners of the whole show.

They fought hard week after week to get ahead. They gave their best every time and they were rewarded for their hard work. I am very proud of Zhan and his group and I hope they will be active for a long time. To become even more successful and many others will follow their lead and learn from them what can be achieved through ambition and hard work.

But for now, enough of the praise. Now let me tell you something else.

So let's start with this. Zhan and I got the permission from our managers to spend this last week together in a motel. Away from the others and the cameras, just him and me and nobody else.

But we didn't just spend our time in bed, not that you're thinking that now. We rehearsed our song, our solos and the gig for Friday.

On Wednesday I had been with Zhan at my parents' house. They were very happy and sometimes it seemed like they knew him for a long time. Because they talked to him as if they had known him all his life and somehow knew everything about him.

And even my big brother was so open-minded and warm to Zhan that I actually have to believe that he knows my Zhan.

All in all it was a very nice day and my mother pulled me into my old room for a moment to talk to me in private. She said, "My son, if you really love Zhan, always do your best, don't let anything come between you two. After all, you had to wait long enough for that day. Remember how much time had to pass before you were finally allowed to love each other. Don't throw that away by going back to Korea and making Zhan wait too long for you."

She made it sound as if I had been in love with him for much longer than two years and as if it had taken much longer than 24 months for our love to blossom.

And my father told me, "The time of waiting is over. I want you to know in a year, at the latest, where you want to go with your life. Because you only have 14 months left until your big day."

I looked at him questioningly and wanted to know what he meant. But he just said, "Sometimes the answer lies in the past." That's all he said, and I'm just as smart as before. All I know is, in 14 months I'll be 20 years old.

But I haven't had much time to think about it. Since we had to say goodbye, because we still had to go to the TV studio for our rehearsals. The rehearsals for the song of Zhan and me and our solos, already took place on Wednesday and separated from our groups.

On Thursday we rehearsed with our groups in the hostel and in the TV studio. We also all had to go to the hairdresser. A stylist came and redressed us for the big show. For every performance, a different outfit.

It is almost time now and I am very excited. Because right at the opening of the final show, Zhan and I will sing our solo songs. The hall is packed with audience and fans and they are all waiting to hear our songs. Hopefully everything will go well.

We will sing our song together only at the end of the show. And all our fans are waiting for that even more than for our solos.

Wang Han hosted the show and explained to the audience how the evening would go. And then it was time for Zhan and his solo. It was quiet in the audience, on and behind the stage. The lights went out. When the lights came on, Zhan was standing in the middle of the stage and his fans were screaming so loudly that it was hard to hear when the melody of his song started.

Zhan sang his solo without any mistakes and with a strong voice. I was very proud of him. Because even this morning he was very nervous and during the last rehearsals he had always had one or two mistakes. But as soon as he was on stage, there was nothing left of his nervousness. Strong and sovereign he performed and the fans really went crazy. An almost never ending applause accompanied Zhan from the stage when he was finished.

And then it was my turn. Zhan came back in the back, hugged me and wished me good luck. Then I entered the stage and presented my own song to my fans, which was written especially for me. And like Zhan, they couldn't get enough and the clapping didn't stop until I was backstage.

Then the main show started. The competition. By turns they showed edited clips of our groups, just like we took turns playing our gigs. Each group had four performances. There were also two games that XNINE won.

And then it was said that the audience only had 10 minutes left to choose their winner. And while Wang Han explained this to the audience, Zhan and I changed for our last performance together.

Zhan entered the stage first and moderated me. The fans were freaking out.

(I decided to make this video. The sound and picture quality is good and you can easily see their eyes :-) )

https://youtu.be/3fSxzoZv4Qo

During the performance of Zhan and me, I had to think all the time that, like this, we will not be on stage again. We won't be performing together weekly anymore. Not being able to see and hold each other every day.

Tomorrow afternoon we are flying back to Korea and I have to leave Zhan behind. I can't believe how fast time passed and I can't believe that I really have to say goodbye to Zhan.

It was so incredibly hard for me to hold back my emotions and not just grab Zhan and hold him tight, crying and saying that I don't want to leave him, that I want to stay with him.

After our song we stayed on stage and our groups joined us. Wang Han thanked the audience for the numerous phone calls and explained that the phone lines are now closed and the calls are currently being evaluated.

He asked one or the other of our groups a question to buy time. Then Wang Han came up to me and asked: "What will you miss most when you return home?"

I looked at Zhan and smiled. "My new best friend." I said that, as I'd been advised. But I think everyone could see the truth behind those words, right out of my eyes.

Wang Han asked Zhan, "Is there anything you've learned in the last few weeks?"

Zhan nodded and said smilingly in my direction, "Yes, a lot. But most of all, that you can do anything if you stick together."

A female fan shouted loudly, "Wang Yibo loves Xiao Zhan." And I automatically had to grin. Her interjection was loudly cheered by other fans calling Zhan's and my name.

Then there was a beep that said the votes were counted. The results are in.

Our groups stood close together and Zhan stood close to me. He smiled at me and whispered to me, "I know you have won. You did great."

At this moment I would have preferred that our two groups could be winners. It almost broke my heart to think about how hard XNINE worked to get here. They have had such a hard time as newcomers and have come so far. It would have been a special reward for them if they could win too.

Wang Han received an envelope in his hand and announced: "Tonight there are no losers. There are only winners on this stage. Even if only one of the two groups wins the prize money and is allowed to host the end-of-year show, for me, their fans and all other viewers, both groups are winners."

Then the fans counted down a countdown from ten to zero, Wang Han opened the envelope and read out: "With 51.10%, and thus very narrowly, the winner in this competition is the group Uniq! Congratulations."

Of course we were happy and yet it had a bitter aftertaste. It didn't feel right to me. Yes we deserved to win, we gave everything and trained hard. And yet, the joy in our whole group was only half as big as we thought.

XNINE congratulated us smiling. From the ceiling silver and golden snippets fell down on us while XNINE went backstage. It hurt me to see some of them crying.

And when Zhan stepped off the stage, I threw rationality and fear overboard and grabbed a microphone. I shouted into the microphone, "Xiao Zhan, you know what my biggest win in this competition was?"

Zhan turned to me, a staffer handed him a microphone and Zhan asked, "What was your biggest win?"

I laughed and said, "Your heart. I won the competition in your heart. Xiao Zhan, I love you, and I promise you, I will come back. Please wait for me."

Zhan nodded and said, "Okay Yibo, I will wait. But do not take too much time. And, I love you too."

Fans of us as a couple cried and screamed when they saw me running to Zhan, taking him in my arms and giving him a kiss. "I love you ZhanZhan." I said that, holding Zhan tight. Then Zhan had to go backstage.

Maybe this will cause problems, that we outed our love. But I don't want to have to lie anymore. I want everyone to know that I love Xiao Zhan with all my heart, just like he loves me too.

Two hours later, Zhan and I were at the motel, and I just held Zhan in my arms. I will hold him in my arms like this all night long.