jay and jungwon met in an unexpected way.

 late at night, the younger was walking home alone when someone cornered him and threatened to hurt him with a knife. luckily, it was one of those nights where jay takes a walk. he was just about to put his earphones on, when he heard a whimper and a plea from a corner.

and there he saw jungwon begging the old man to let him go. jay being the kind and helpful guy he is, interfered and end up having to have a fist fight with the guy. as if luck was both on their side, jay was able to grab the knife from the guy and beat him. 

if jungwon didn't stop him, he might end up killing the guy on the spot. the guy ran away, leaving the two of them alone.

"are you okay? were you hurt?" is what jay said when the guy was far from their sight.

jungwon wasn't able to answer, as he fell on his knees and cried. he was crying too hard that make jay unable to think of what to do. 

"I... I can take you home. please don't cry anymore." but jungwon just cried harder. jay knelt beside him and pat his back. "I'm sorry you have to experience that."

"no." finally, jungwon spoke. "I'm sorry because of me you got hurt. I didn't know he was following me until he cornered me." jungwon's voice cracked from too much crying.

"it wasn't your fault. the only one to blame for this was that guy who attacked you. come on now, let me take you home." 

jungwon nods before going back up on his feet. he's legs was still shaky thought because of the fear he felt and jay let him cling himself on his arms. it took them an hour before reaching jungwon's home since the younger was still having a hard time speaking.

"thank you.." jungwon says, almost in a whisper but jay was still able to hear it.

"it's nothing. glad I could help you. next time be careful, okay?"

"I will.. uhm what's your name?"

"jay, just call me jay."

jungwon smiles at him, surprising jay. "okay then, my name's jungwon."

later on they found out that they were just studying in one school. it was when jay was tasked to meet the taekwondo's team captain to bring something from the office. 

jay was surprised to see the younger on his taekwondo uniform. 

"you're a taekwondo player?"

jungwon shyly smiles at him. "yeah, I just started last month. I'm afraid something would happen again like last time so I wanted to prepare myself." 

"that's good." jay smiles. "does that mean I don't need to save you anymore?" he jokes.

"I don't think so. captain said I'm doing well with it." jungwon proudly said. "but I am in need of a new friend.  what do you say, jay hyung, can you be my friend?"

that was when their friendship officially started. they would often hang out, inside and even outside of school. jay would always wait for jungwon's training to finish, even if it would get late, and they would eat somewhere while they catch up about what they did the whole day.

after all that, jay would walk him home.

"hyung, you don't have to walk me home anymore. I can handle myself."

"I know but I still want to."

jay doesn't understand why, but he hates having to part ways with jungwon after their daily routine. that's why even if jungwon's house was far from his, he still takes time to walk him home.

"I love spending time with you, jungwon."

"me too, hyung."

years of friendship and jay, as expected, end up falling for the younger.

 he didn't want to admit it at first. it took him countless of convincing and denying to his own that he was definitely not in love with jungwon.

maybe it was just because they were always together, maybe that's why he got confused between loving spending time with jungwon or is it because he was already falling?

jay distance himself to jungwon to figure it out. he stop eating lunch with him, he always makes up excuses as to why he can't wait for jungwon's training to finish and why he can't walk him home.

 it felt like hell to him. he just keeps longing for the younger's presence. it feels like he was just torturing himself.

still, he continued to do it. 

he was already accepting his feelings for jungwon and he didn't want to fall deeper, he shouldn't fall deeper. he needs to bury this feelings he have. 

but after weeks of distance, he got back to his senses when jungwon came crying to him.

he was sat alone in the school's music room when he heard someone opened the door. he turned around to see who it was but he was met by a slap.

it was jungwon with blood shot eyes.

"why are you avoiding me?" he yells at jay.

"I'm not. I was just really--" again, another slap. jay was sure his cheeks were red already. 

"stop lying to me, dumbass. did you think I was actually buying your excuses? hyung, I'm not dumb." 

"I'm sorry." jay answered. "I... I don't have a valid reason to do that so I understand if--" he was once again cut off, but this time he was pulled in a hug.

"I don't care. you don't have to explain yourself anymore, but please stop avoiding me. I don't like it."

after that they were back to normal. but this time, jay was hiding his feelings for jungwon. he didn't confess, he doesn't have the plan to. he wasn't brave enough to take the risk. 

they continued on with their friendship, always together trying different things. no matter how much new people they welcome in their lives, they would still ran back to each other. 

even after they graduated from college and start working on the career path they chose, it was always them.

jay fondly looks at the flowers, it was jungwon's favorite. he looks at the bag of decorations he has with him to see if they would match the flower and luckily, it was a match.

he has been preparing this behind jungwon's back for months. he was sure that this will make jungwon happy, very happy. 

once he had finish everything he needed, he went back to the place where heeseung had told him to come. 

it was a wide garden with a gazeboo in the middle. jungwon loves place like this. 

"did you get everything we need?" sunoo ask. he showed him the bags and flowers he was carrying, making sunoo clap in delight. "okay then let's start decorating!" he cheers.

the sun was already close to setting when they finished. jay smiles to himself while he scans the place. jungwon will for sure rejoice later, he was sure of that.

"here, hyung." sunoo handed him a paper bag.

"what is this for?"

"wear that. jungwon wouldn't like it we didn't style you up." 

everything was ready, the decorations, their friends. only one person was missing, it was jungwon.

this was finally it, this was finally the most awaited day for them.

they saw jungwon walking alone as he follow the path they made for him. as expected, jungwon was in awe of everything in sight. 

once jungwon has reach the gazeboo, their eyes met. jungwon mouthed a "thank you" and jay nods at him with an assuring smile.

just in time, ni-ki walks in and approached jungwon. they both had wide smiles on their faces as ni-ki kneels, holding a velvet box with a ring in it. 

jay watches them as jungwon, elated of them all, nods and says a "yes" to ni-ki's words of proposal.

the moment everyone arounds him cheers for the newly engage couple, was the moment jay's heart was crumbled into pieces.

maybe if he confessed, things must be different from now but now all he can do is to feel regretful.

at least jungwon will still be by his side, right? 

he wasn't sure about that anymore.

this is just a preparation for something that's coming in the future. I came up with this as I was listening to Moira and Agsunta's "Kahit Kunwari Man Lang." it's a good song.