On Saturday morning, I'm tying my shoelaces at the front door when I hear Spencer's footsteps patter down the hallway. I grab the keys from the bowl to throw them into the zipper pocket in my shorts and I hear him stop.

"Cole?" he asks.

The sun is rising, though from this spot in the apartment I can't see any of the windows.

"Yeah?" I call out.

He rounds the corner and looks at me, still in an pajamas that have tied tightly at his waist. Spencer rubs his eyes and then looks at me.

"Does Caro like to run?" he asks. "Or Estelle?"

"What?" I start to shake my arms out. My body isn't properly warmed up, even in the summer. I rock back and forth on the balls of my feet. "I don't know."

"You don't know?" he furrows his brow.

I roll my eyes, "well, I know Estelle doesn't run. She's into cooking, cryptids, and now knitting. Suddenly, actually. And I don't know my sister's workout routine. She's not like my brothers anyway. Why?"

Spencer pats his leg with his cane, "well, I can't run with you, but I thought you might like a running buddy."

I sigh, straightening out my shoulders. It's not even six on a Saturday. Spencer twists his head slightly to the side and I pull my phone out of the pocket. Then, I give Caro a call. We aren't supposed to see each other today. I'm doing a shift at the hospital in the morning and Estelle is trading off in the afternoon.

But, Caro is either not going to answer her phone, or is going to be pissed off I've woken her up.

"Do you know what time it is?" she hisses into the phone.

Well, the latter.

"Do you want to start running with me?" I ask. "I'm about to head out now."

"Are you being serious?"

"Look, I just wanted-"

"Shut up," Caro cuts me off. "Yes. Fine. Meet at the park by the condo, in like thirty minutes. Deal?"

When my eyes meet Spencer's he raises an eyebrow. There is still sleep crusted into the corner of his eyes.

"Hello?"

"Yes," I say.

"Fine, I'm hanging up now."

Caro does exactly as she promises. I lower the phone staring at Spencer.

"Are you Stéphane and Estelle-ing me?"

Spencer steps closer to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I feel his cane press against my hipbone. Spencer kisses my temple.

"No," he says. "I wouldn't go behind your back like that. I know how you feel about people observing you. If I'm honest, I am a bit worried about you right now, and I think talking to someone would do you good."

"But Caro of all people," I twist my head back to look up at him.

Spencer blinks, "I like Caro."

"She's a bitch," I say.

When Spencer smirks I start to wrestle out of his grip. I slip from his grip so smoothly, but the pressure from his cane doesn't leave. He's still there.

I cross my arms over my chest, "guess you do have a soft spot for bitches."

"Well, I wouldn't call any woman a bitch," Spencer says.

Rolling my eyes, I bid him farewell. It'll probably take me around half an hour to get to the park by the condo, so there really isn't time to hang around. When I'm there, the sun is fully risen. The park has a golden glow, trees casting long shadows on the ground. There's one other jogger out, but otherwise it is quiet. I text Caro when I get to a bench and starts to stretch. It's only a minute before she is with me, not properly dressed for the heat in trackpants and an old FBI training t-shirt. My shit.

"Love the shirt," I say. "When did you enroll in the academy?"

"I thought you said I could make myself at home?" Caro raises an eyebrow. "And I hate to admit it, but you do dress well."

She starts to job and I follow up behind her, quickly matching pace. Caro's steps are much slower than mine, less powerful too, but at least we are about the same height. I'm slightly taller, overall. Which I point out to her, of course, making fun of her legs that might be half an inch shorter than mine. At this pace though, it's easy enough to keep up a conversation.

I guess it is Saturday. I'm trying to relax. She grows weaker over the first twenty minutes. Tutoring is taking up her time. Work is keeping me busy. Estelle is usually tidy, but her knitting is taking over the living room, but overall they work well as roommates.

"So, are you going to tell me what's going on with you?" Caro asks, raising an eyebrow. "I don't think we've ever spoken this long without the conversation revolving around you."

I bump into her with my elbow, "rude."

"True."

"Yeah, yeah," I roll my eyes. "Well, everything is going well. I'm still not cleared to go into the field after I took that beating from Rachel, but I've been working on hand to hand combat. I'm caught up with work. Really, I've just been busy. Getting up at the crack of dawn to run, staying late at work. I haven't really had time for much else."

Caro looks at me. The golden light is turning duller.

Oh.

I haven't really spent time with Spencer. Saturday we ran errands separately for the most part. Today, my workbag is packed for my visit with Stéphane. I did plan to visit, but I also planned to check my emails and rehearse my answers for the next psychiatric evaluation. While Estelle and I may be on the outs, I don't think I ever properly thanked her for the frozen food. When was the last time I just spent time with anyone?

"I think..." I bite my lip. "I think I'm having trouble really staying still. With the Rachel thing, I just... well, I want to be stronger."

Caro nods at me, "yeah, I get that. Don't necessarily think it's going to fix anything, but it makes sense."

She pats my arm, forcing her legs to keep going. It's so sloppy, her form. Probably she hasn't gone for a run in years, if she ever did. I don't really know what hobbies she kept as a child. Well, she loves art, and French of course, and she did dance back when we lived in Québec, but I don't really know her. She really became herself when I was away at school.

More acutely aware of that than I am, Caro still is forcing herself to run next to me.

"They have wine and paint nights at a café a few blocks away," I say. "We should go. Make me go."

Caro looks over at me, "yeah. Okay."

We take a few more steps. This can't go on for much longer.

"I want to stop hiding things from you," I say, pushing on. "But I also don't want to make things about me right now. So like, if you ever actually want more information on like, the Rachel stuff, and what happened when, you know. I mean, I know you remember it, of course. But like, I'd love to be more in each other's lives."

Caro finally stops running. Doubled over, hands on her knees, she gasps for breath. I put a hand on her shoulder and she shoves me off of her.

"Sorry," I manage.

"Shut up," her voice comes out hoarse. She glances up at me, bright red cheeks. "Yeah, we'll talk some other time. I need water."

We go back to the condo since it's so close. It's strange, returning to a place that is almost my home. Caro didn't bring coats since it's summer, and I didn't take mine so they still hang in the front closet. All of the renovations have been halted in my absences, not that we had many more planned. When I go to the bathroom, I pause at my bedroom. The bed's gone, and so is the furniture, but most else remains. Any of my leftover clothes have been put up in boxes.

My life is so easily packaged away. The condo was my home for less than a year. Light blue walls without photos or art. At one point, my entire life fit in three suitcases, and what couldn't fit I discarded between moves.

As a practice, I keep my inbox practically clean. I check it in the bathroom. None have come through this morning, and the two that are there I still haven't opened. The replies about allowing for delayed starting with my PhDs. Unread.

Not today. Just, not today.

Before Estelle wakes up, I leave. I run back to Spencer's, pushing myself as hard as I can, treating this morning as a warmup. How fast can my feet carry me? How hard can I push?

In the apartment, Spencer lies on the sofa. His fingers are pinched in the pages of a book. I carefully remove it and put it on the coffee table, shutting it. His eyes are rapidly moving back and forth underneath the lids, and he's twitching. I should shower. Instead, I sit on the floor cross-legged, in my sweat, beginning to read his book. Indiscreetly watching him, until he bolts upright.

Spencer clutches his chest.

"Hey," I manage.

He looks over at me and smiles weakly, "you're back."

"Course I am," I roll my eyes. "Can't stand to be with Caro that long, since she's a bitch."

~~~~~

No hiatus, but I'm moving down to one a week until the new year. In fact, I'm publishing this from a different country haha! Can't wait for you to enjoy it.