Hi Noodle! Woah! Woah! Woah! Calm down with the screaming and the questions, I can't barely hear myself type (writer joke for you)!

Okay, that's better, the screaming I could hear across the millions of miles between us was starting to give me a headache, this is much better.

(Is it weird that I write these like we're having a conversation? Like I've met you in real life and this is us just catching up? I hope not cause it feels natural to me)

Now let's get into it! Woah hey hey hey, before you run off too get pop corn and ice cream, you might want to take a seat, I don't think this is the giddy, squealing-with-excitement, bouncing-in-your-seat, wiggling-with-delight update you're expecting.

I know, let's all collectively sigh because that's the update that, not only you wanted to hear, the one I wanted to give! I mean after all my crush had all the makings of an epic romance story with all the swoon worthy moments that makes life wonderful! I mean I do have a crush on my Muay Thai trainer after all! That clearly means there should be an adorable moment when I trip into him and we go tumbling to the mat...

Wait... haha that actually did happen! Only without the slow-mo and romantic atmosphere, he merely executed a perfect sweep (a move that sounds like what it is, you sweep someone off their feet, literally instead of emotionally or figuratively). He swept me and I grabbed ahold of him as I went down. We both landed on that mat. Hilarious it definitely was, but romantic, not as much as I would want.

So that brings me to my update... nothing has happened.

Did we go out and get coffee? Yes.

But it was something I setup under the guise of wanting to asking him a million questions about Muay Thai, I know! I'm more cunning than I imagined I would be! I guess it comes from writing all my clever characters!

It went really well! It was so chill, half the time we didn't even talk about Muay Thai, we talked about life and gossip at the gym. But at the end of it... that was it. It was a chill ending but with no show of wanting to do it again.

Does it suck? Duh! Liking someone, thinking there might be something, then nothing happening is a terrible feeling! I don't know how people go through this on the daily.

Before you worry about me (or you might not, but I'm going to tell you anyways), you should know I'm okay. Though I don't see myself as Carter, one trait we do share is that my logical side tends to be stronger than my emotions. So when it was clear that there was some barrier, whether it be from him being my coach (power imbalance, job restriction), a painful previous break up (a few comments he's made seems like it was not a good relationship) or something else, I decided to take a step back emotionally.

Though having all the fuzzy feelings from having a crush was delightful, the absolute frustration of not knowing what he wanted was way to much to deal with, so I decided I needed to detach a little from the situation.

Do I still like him? Yeah, I do because he's just a good guy with a great smile and a personality I vibe with.

Is my crush in full swing? No, because I focus on how I really like simply having him as my coach because I love Muay Thai and he's a great teacher. Focusing on that helps me aim my emotions in the right direction for now.

If anything changed would I be up for it? Most definitely. But for now I'm enjoying being in his class, the banter we have, the small inside jokes we already have, and learning more about something I love.

You might wonder if it's that easy to shut down a crush, I don't know. I know it's different for most people but I've found I can usually control my emotions pretty easily. That is one positive, I can be around him for 2 hours straight and it feels natural instead of emotionally tangled.

Haha it feels funny to write this update after the last one, because to you they are back to back, to me they are months apart. But who knows! Maybe a few more months will flip it all around again! You never know! But you will know if it happens because I'll excitedly update you!

I love you. It's a simple phrase but it's been true since I first started on Wattpad and it's still true now. It's an 'I love you' based on you being a human being worthy of love and being someone who has been a wonderful spot of happiness in my life! Thank you for always being you!