Illaria Point of View

It's been one whole minute that I last blinked. To be honest, I am actually afraid to blink my eyes.

I'm afraid the moment I blink my eyes, I will be slapped with something that is even more absurd than I could ever take.

No wonder...

No wonder he has a nickname of 'A ticking sparkle bomb'.

I am so puzzled by this man that I don't know how else to go on with our partnership anymore.

"Mr. Mayhem, may I know what exactly are you doing?" I finally could not keep my cool and stood up to ask him; but with a polite smile.

Uno Mayhem turned his head three times at me and whistled as he walked towards me.

Ah right, I've seen this effect on Indian Tv soaps. Their editing was pretty entertaining. They use to do all the heavy expressions three times for better effect which was very amusing.

I cannot with this man. God!

"Alarming Ms. Allard, there is a style to do everything. Your – your way of doing things are too boring and sleepy. I was almost made God of Sleep in the last team meeting we held." He said in his all-time jolly manner.

Boring? Sleepy?

Office meetings are supposed to be a little solemn. Who organizes a team meeting like a wedding dinner?

"Team meetings, Mr. Mayhem, are for discussions regarding work. If we arrange such festive meetings, we will work less and dance more." I said looking at a few of my employees twerking themselves like broken dolls at the music currently playing.

And what kind of music is this?

The instrumentals of the song is so much like a hybrid of folklore, rock and jazz; however, I don't know what genre does this music belong too.

It's too – frenzied!

"Ms. Alarming, oh, Ms. Alarming! Do you know why I'm called the 'Wildcard of the universe'?" The self indulgent and proud smile on face is so ugly that I almost puked on his face.

Also, what is wrong with his aesthetics again? Why is there a plastic ring on the corner of his lower lip?

Wildcard of the universe?

More like Wild and Banished card of the universe.

"I've never heard you were called that. Who called you that by the way, Mr. Mayhem?" Asmund asked very conversationally that if I didn't know he was being sarcastic, even I would've believed his casual tone.

"Listen up, flower bud –" Uno Mayhem wrapped a hand on Asmund's shoulder. Taking Asmund's hand, he pinched the back of his hand lightly in a – this isn't even called romantic.

"There are few things about you that you have to tell the world yourself. We cannot wait for the world to figure out everything by themselves. That's such a waste of time. Now where was I – right, our employees will come up with better ideas and strategies when their mind is relaxed and has some energy to think." He preached, all the way twerking his butt every now and then.

So dirty!

Twerking is not bad but this Uno Mayhem and his aesthetic! He is wearing a neat shirt and a jacket but down, he is only wearing loose shorts that only reached midthigh. What's even more plague to our eyes is, he has such long hair on his legs that one can plait it and use ribbons to tie them up the old style.

I suddenly touched my head full of hair and wondered what is this 'lunatic sphere of Mayhem' using to grow such shiny long hair, that too on legs.

I don't know if it was due to stress or chemicals in haircare products or for some other reason, I started to lose a lot more hair than before.

I seriously and really love my long voluminous hair, looking at his healthy and prospering leg hair, I kind of feel strange in my heart.

Heavens are so unfair!

Places we need hair, they falls of easily; places we don't need them, they grow so lush and healthily.

"But this is a bit too much twerking for the day, Mr. Mayhem. May I know what is the reason for this meeting you called for? You haven't discussed that yet." I came out of my trance and asked.

"Of course, to have our first test and make improvements." Uno Mayhem jumped around with the enjoying employees as he reached for his phone from the table and turned off the music.

The team who was enjoying almost could not contain their disappointment on their faces. Once their eyes were on the serious me, they immediately got back to their seats and opened their respective files and laptops.

"Test? I didn't know you are already done with the instruments? It has only been a week, yes?" I was both surprised and doubtful.

Is it so easy to create a technology these days?

"Mr. Mayhem wanted to test the initial idea to develop an appropriate technology, Ms. Allard." Alright.

"Then what is this whole setup for?" I looked at the small glass room in which a platform is edged inside.

"Why, you will know." Uno Mayhem gave a playful and a mysterious smile and asked one of the male employees to go inside the glass room and lock the door.

Once done, the team members operated on their systems and suddenly it started to drizzle in the glass room.

Although there was no showerhead, it was raining and there was a small cloud formed over the head of the employee.

"Alright baby, let's see you shaking in the rain and rocking in vain." Uno Mayhem hollered and hooted as he played another one of his weird music scores.

The employee inside the glass room, who was currently drenching in rain started to automatically wiggle around as per the music.

"Operating cloud seeding in such a manner is dangerous." I exclaimed.

"Chill! This is not the real cloud seeding. This is a simplified version of the process with no harm. However, this is not just cloud seeding but also a process of using rain to reinstate the ozone layer."

Well, isn't this and already known theory?

"This practice did not come into effect due to many drawback and safety issues, yes? You want to use ozone rain theory but this has been declared unsafe long time ago."

"I know. Ms. Allard, you worry too much. You wanted a safe technology and I would give you that. Since the theory is proved to work, eliminating the danger and drawback needs to be done. Leave that to me. You, beautiful horse, only need to sit comfortably on your chair and enjoy the hard work of 'wildcard of the universe'."

Only eliminating the danger and drawback needs to be done!

He is saying as if it's an easy job. So many has already tried but did not succeed. He is talking as if this is just another one-pot recipe to make fried rice.

"As long it follows the solid safety measure, I would like you to work on this project as you wish. My only requirement is, like I already said, it should not affect the ecological balance and should have any serious side effects. I would like you prediction thesis on this project before you start working on it. This is so I know what to expect and what not." I made my points clear.

I am not a professional and not very knowledgeable when it comes this. When I don't have knowledge about it, the one thing I should do is not use my half hearsay knowledge to stop the progress.

"I knew you are a body with beauty and brain." What kind of compliment is this? Body with beauty and brain?

"In that case, let's take this same idea introduction to the other directors and show off." Huh? What does he mean?

"I'm sorry?"

"Call in for a meeting with other higher ups and directors. We will present the same thing to them and show off a little. Ms. Alarming Allard, don't you know how good it is to show off such good things?"

What is there to show off here?

Isn't this just the idea presentation?

What is he expecting?

A veneration from the world for just presenting the idea?

"We can do that when you complete the initial phase of development. To call everyone just for presenting idea is waste of time and resources." I said and cut off all the buts and ifs that might spring up from him.

I cannot have him make my directors dance like ancient imperial performers for his own amusements.

"Alright. Since you want to show off big, then let's go with big then." He nodded with a huge grin.

"Boss, emergency!" Buzz rushed to us, almost colliding into Uno Mayhem. "I – I forgot the password."

I raised a brow at the sweating assistant and cannot see what kind of emergency this could be.

"Then answer a security question. Will it not solve the problem?" Buzz looked at me with eyes that told – 'you innocent fellow, what do you even know'.

"Yes. Why don't you do that?" Uno Mayhem supported.

"The – the security question is –" He stammered.

"Is?"

"'What's the size - ahem!"

Oh my! What size?

 " - size of longest strand of hair on my body'. Now, the answer to that is –" Buzz looked at Uno Mayhem from top to bottom with weird and helpless eyes.

I looked at Uno Mayhem in the same manner as well.

Longest hair on the body?

People can keep such security questions too?

What has world come to?

"Why don't you just say the answer?" I chided. Why is everything about these both so dramatic?

"The thing is Ms. Allard –" Buzz gulped uneasily. "Mr. Mayhem has a disorder."

Uh?

A disorder? Isn't he a whole person of it?

~*~*~*~*~*~

Hello Sweeties,

Next chapter is here. Enjoy!

What do you think about the chapter? Good?

Uno Mayhem is such a extra. Agree?

Who has such long body hair and feel so trendy about it? Reveal that one person with long body hair.

Huh? The answer to the security question is the size of longest body hair? Facepalm!

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Lady Prim