<Bad Dream>

Wake me up
Won't you wake me up?
Caught in a bad dream
Caught in a bad dream
                                           •
                                        Ruelle
•<>•

A smile crosses my lips as I keep my eyes fixed on the trees that look like they're moving backward and at a quick pace. Despite being tired from the long drive, I'm happy with how our brief stay at the cottage went.

With Dad occupied with work, it came as a surprise when he announced that we were going on a weekend getaway to one of my favourite places in England. This was a rare occurrence, as he seldom takes time off, let alone spends an entire day with us. Usually, he's in and out of the house in a flash, leaving Mum to handle everything else.

Despite having help, Mum is adamant about taking care of us herself. No matter how fatigued she may be, she consistently makes time for us, ensuring we're well-fed and content.

Grumbling, I clutch my stomach, hoping to alleviate the pain. Ever since my operation that took place a month ago, I've been experiencing constant discomfort in my stomach despite Mum's efforts to relieve it. She took me to the doctor when the pain became unbearable, but the doctor couldn't find anything wrong and assured us that the pain would subside in time.

"Are you okay back there?" Mum's voice carries concern as she glances at me through the rearview mirror.

"My stomach is hurting again," I grumble, clutching my abdomen.

"Must be because of all the sweets and biscuits you ate earlier," Erin comments with a hint of amusement. "I told you not to, but oh well, you never listen to me. Maybe this way you'll learn your lesson," she snickers, prompting Mum to come to my defense.

"Erin, don't talk to your brother like that. He's not feeling well."

"But Mum," Erin protests.

"She's right," Dad intervenes. "Ethan never listens. He's always doing his own thing."

"Dominic, you know he's just a boy. Should we stop him from being a child simply because he can't sit still?" Mum questions.

"You know what I mean, Elizabeth. You always put up with his nonsense. He's growing, and if you keep shielding his every action, he's never going to learn that there are consequences to his behavior." Dad replies.

"Right. So you agree with me that there are consequences to our actions." Mum responds calmly, her voice tinged with undertones of judgment.

"Really? We're going to bring this up in front of the kids?" Dad conveys.

I hear Mum sniffle, and I can't help but wonder if she still has a cold. Back at the cottage, I walked in on her blowing her nose, her eyes red and tears streaming down her face. When I asked what she was crying about, she simply told me that she had a cold but took some medicine to feel better, reassuring me that I had nothing to worry about.

"Of course not," she replies. Shifting her focus, she glances at me through the rearview mirror. "Honey, should I give you the medicine the doctor prescribed for you? Maybe you'll feel better."

"He's fine," Dad interjects. "There's no need for you to stop the car over some non-existent pain when we have a long way to go. You know how he is; he'll be fine."

Considering my history of tantrums whenever things didn't go my way or when I sought attention, I understand why Dad doesn't believe me. It's a bad habit of mine that he's promised to whip out of me if I continue with the behavior.

With Mum constantly spoiling me more than my siblings, I've grown accustomed to having things go my way and receiving extra attention from her. Whenever I feel sad and alone, my calls for attention tend to upset those around me, especially Dad.

Mum tends to panic a lot whenever something minor or significant happens to my health. Unlike my siblings, I've been in the hospital several times for different health problems, and because of that, she pays more attention to me than others, which unfortunately upsets everyone else.

"I'm pretty sure it's nothing to worry about," Dad adds.

Suddenly, the pain dissipates, and I reassure Mum that I'm okay. Though not entirely convinced, she sighs and glances at me through the rearview mirror as she drives. "Okay. Don't hesitate to tell me if your stomach starts hurting again, okay sweetheart?"

"Okay," I reply, playfully kicking my legs.

"Cry baby." Erin taunts, making a funny face at me.

Choosing to ignore her mockery, I turn my head to the window and begin to hum one of my favorite songs.

Despite my attempts to ignore her, Erin's taunting persists. When she says something silly about my toys, I shoot her a glare. This escalates into an argument between us, prompting Mum to shift her focus back to us.

"Is everything okay back there?" Mum questions as she glances at us through the rearview mirror.

Noticing the prolonged bickering that's been going on between my sister and me, she can't help but glance at us whenever possible while keeping her hands firmly on the steering wheel.

Would I call what Erin and I have a normal sibling relationship? I don't know. But all my life, this is what our relationship has been all about, constantly bickering and fighting over nonsensical things. Being four years older than me, she doesn't miss out on an opportunity to remind me that she's superior and has the right to control me.

(Huffs) Like I would let that happen. I'm 10, I'm not stupid Erin.

Though she's taller than me, I don't let that back me down from a fight, because if there's one thing I've learned from her, it is that 'Not standing up for yourself gets you nowhere, especially without Mum's help.'

"Will you keep it down back there!" Dad roars as he glares at us with irritation, exhaling sharply from his nostrils, his anger palpable even from a distance. Feeling scared, Erin and I immediately stop arguing. Before I look away from her, I playfully stick out my tongue with squinted eyes to convey my victory and to let her know that she's, well, s.t.u.p.i.d. She responds by rolling her eyes at me and then takes out her iPod and headset.

As silence envelops the car, Dad's phone rings, shattering the quiet. The ringing is abruptly silenced by Dad, prompting Mum to cast a glance in his direction.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" she inquires.

"It's not important, just work. I'll return the call later," Dad responds.

"Since when was work not important to you?" Mum glances at him again. "You always answer work calls."

"It's not a big deal, okay? I'll call them back once we're home." Dad replies, his voice tinged with irritation.

The phone rings again, and Dad, once more, abruptly ends the call.

"Unbelievable," Mum scoffs, irritation lacing her voice. "Like what happened at the cottage wasn't enough, and now this?!"

"Elizabeth now is not the time to bring this up. We can discuss it later, but not here. Not in front of the kids." Dad interjects.

I hear Mum sniffle again, though her back is turned to me. I suspect her cold is flaring up once more, so, I get a tissue from my bag, and hand it to her.

"Mummy, when we get home, don't forget to take your medicine so you can get well soon." I remind her, noticing the glistening of tears in her eyes as she smiles at me.

"Thank you, baby. I'll do that," she responds softly.

Shortly after, a hush falls over the car, and the pain I felt before suddenly grips my stomach, prompting me to grumble as I clutch it.

"What's wrong, baby? Is the pain back?" Mum asks, her concern evident.

"Yes," I grumble.

"Not this again," Dad mutters, shaking his head. His tone is distant and cold.

"What's that supposed to mean? Your son is in pain, and that's all you can say?" Mum's frustration boils over.

"Mummy, it hurts so much." I cry out.

Erin simply rolls her eyes at me and folds her arms.

Before Dad can respond, his phone rings again, setting Mum off on a rampage. Unable to hold back, Dad starts talking over Mum, escalating the tension in the car.

"See what you did?!" Erin glares at me. "Now Mum and Dad are fighting because of you."

"That's not true!" I furrow my brows at her.

"It is, thanks to you and your fake stomach pain."

"Hey, I'm not faking it. My stomach is hurting!"

She rolls her eyes at me and continues to mock my pain, while Mom and Dad continue to argue. As the chaos in the car heightens, the drive suddenly is interrupted by the screeching sounds of tires. These are soon followed by screams as the car rolls down the hill and, then an ear-deafening thud.

My tiny body is in so much pain given that we've all been thrown out of the car; I wouldn't be surprised if I'm massively bleeding and have broken bones.

Though in pain, I muster the effort to slowly approach Mum who is lying motionless on the dry grass a short distance away from me.

Blood is streaming down my forehead, every part of my body is burning, and even though I'm having a hard time moving my limbs, I'm determined to get to Mum and make sure she's okay.

Suddenly, I hear a faint groaning and when I turn my head in its direction, I see Erin lying on her back. Though she's bleeding, I don't think her injuries are severe considering she has begun to lift herself slowly, albeit with slight difficulty.

Meanwhile, Dad remains on his stomach, a distance away from me. Concerned, I call out to him, and after a few seconds, he responds with a grunt, gradually beginning to rise.

Our car is burning in flames, smoke is rising from the ground and the heat coming from the flames is so strong even though we're not close to the fire.

Shifting my eyes back to Mum who is still lying on her back bleeding and motionless, fear and worry seep into my body and send shivers down my spine. My heart is beating harder against my rib cage — threatening to burst free and tears have already welled up in my eyes.

"Mummy!" I call out once more, but still, I get no response.

Determined to get to her, I summon all the strength I have to try and push myself on this dirt and grassy ground like a wounded animal, determined to reach her.

It feels like somebody is hammering my legs and grazing my body against a cheese grater at the same time. I'm in so much pain and yet, my main concern and determination is getting to her to help her.

I hope she's okay.

Just as I'm about to reach her, two faceless shadowy figures appear out of nowhere. They're so tall and are floating above her.

Despite my fear, I summon the courage to call her, hoping to wake her up and drive away the faceless, shadowy figures. Unfortunately, they remain unaffected by my screams as I crawl on my stomach on the grass, attempting to frighten them away with more cries.

Suddenly, grey clouds take over the sky that was once blue and sunny. The faceless shadowy figures start contorting — morphing into scary monsters that are hissing at me and threatening to harm me if I get any closer.

Scared, I stop moving as I stare at the monsters. My breathing is heavy and shaking, my heart is racing and my limbs have suddenly become numb. I want to help her, I want to stop the scary monsters from taking her away from me but I'm scared and powerless.

As they lift her up, my eyes follow and the beating of my heart grows stronger as they start to take her away. Determined to save her, I let out a blood-curdling scream in an attempt to scare them away but this only invites more shadowy figures that are now floating above me and pulling me further from her.

The sensation of their touch is like thousands of volts of electricity coursing through me, almost as if I'm being electrocuted, and their scent is burning my nostrils. They are scary to look at I can't help but cry for help. I'm kicking and screaming at the top of my lungs, begging them to let me go but they're not listening, they keep dragging me further away from Mum who's started fading into the shadowy figures, meanwhile, Dad and Erin are nowhere in sight.

Like they're getting a kick out of traumatizing me, the shadowy figures start to rotate around me, their faces are morphing into scary creatures I can't describe and all I can do is cry for help while Mum is slowly dissipating along with the two faceless shadowy figures that have been holding her this entire time.

"Leave me alone!" I cry but the monsters are hell-bent on making me miserable.

"I said get away from me!" I plead, "Mummy where are you? Please come back!"

The monsters continue to float around me, traumatizing me even when I'm pleading for mercy.

"Leave me alone! Leave me alone!" I cry repeatedly, and then suddenly, I hear a familiar voice seep into the chaos, prompting me to look up in its direction, only to see Eric looking back at me with an angry expression on his face.

"See what you did? This is all your fault," he says calmly, his eyebrows furrowed.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I plead, even as the monsters continue to swirl around me, leaving a trail of dark smoke.

"This is all your fault, Ethan. You caused this." He says, tears streaming down his face, his eyebrows still furrowed. Unlike me, he doesn't seem to be afraid or bothered by the shadowy figures floating around us.

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I'm sorry." I plead, tears streaming down my face.

As I continue to beg for mercy, his body begins to disintegrate, his fragments slowly getting absorbed by the smoke trail left behind by the monsters.

"See what you did?!" One of the monsters speaks up while grinning at me, its red eyes glowing amidst its dark smoke figure.

As the ranting continues, the rest of the monsters join in on the ranting and floating around me. Their rants grow louder, their faces contorting into terrifying images that send shivers down my spine.

"Leave me alone!" I cry out, fear and desperation evident in my voice. "Eric! Mum! Where are you? Please come back! I'm sorry!" I plead, but they don't return despite my cries, and the monsters continue to torment me.

"Leave me alone! Leave me alone!" I cry helplessly. Suddenly, I wake up with a loud, prolonged gasp, as if I'm desperately inhaling the life that was nearly sucked out of me. My back is arched, my chest raised high, and my eyes wide open.

I feel drained of energy, and as I continue to breathe heavily, I scan the room only to realize that I'm in my room and that it was just a nightmare.

It was only a bad dream.

A recurring nightmare, haunting me with memories of my past, of my regrets.

As I wipe away the tears, remnants of my dream linger in the real world. I take sharp breaths, releasing the tension that's gripping my insides.

After a moment of gathering my thoughts and composing myself, I rise from my bed and make my way to the bathroom, limping with each step to wash off the sweat that clings to my body.

Despite my efforts to cleanse myself, the emotional pain persists. It remains a constant companion, unyielding to light or darkness. Like a relentless shadow, it serves as a constant reminder of my past, a past I yearn to rewrite if given the chance.

As I turn on the water, feeling it splash on my head before cascading down my body, tracing every curve as the cold seeps into my skin, I let out a sharp exhale.

With my head hanging low, I run my fingers over my chest.

'See what you did?'

Eric's voice seeps into my thoughts, it's calm yet laden with a heavy weight of pain I couldn't save him from. Why didn't I save him? The signs were there, and yet, I stood on the sidelines and watched his life slip away from his body.

I had countless opportunities to save him, and ample time to intervene, and yet, I remained passive. I did nothing. Absolutely nothing.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, my voice trembling as I struggle to contain the sobs welling up in my chest.

As the cold water from the shower head continues to cascade down my body, I rub my hands over my chest before moving them to my back.

As my hands reach my back, they encounter the familiar rough lines etched into my skin, remnants of the past.

Tracing my fingers over the scars, memories flood my mind. The painful recollections overwhelm me, causing a sharp ache in my chest. The agony gripping my heart is intense, but it pales in comparison to the regret and reminder carried by these scars.

"I'm sorry," my voice quivers in a whisper, tears streaming down my face as the cold water persists in its relentless cascade over my weakened body.

AN

A new character has been introduced, although his presence has been secretly lingering this whole time. Eric is Ethan's older brother (they are 6 years apart) and he plays a very important role in Ethan's story/nightmares. Everything will be clear in the next chapters and Ethan's past will fully unfold.

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🧡🤎