Dammit," Bob hissed as he retreated down to the basement.

"Nick. Nick again!" He slipped through the basement door and went to his field general, the Cat. Flexing his mental fingers--tight from many years of non-use--Bob reached into the cat's head and planted his orders: to find and convert any and all animals in the neighborhood. That done and the cat on his way, Bob was left with his thoughts.

It was Nick who put a damper on his last escapade. It was Nick who was always there to line Ralph out and put Bob in his place. It was that damned Nick who left for years at a time and then appeared right when Bob was starting to get the control he wanted over Ralph. Now, when he was almost done, Nick had to show up again!

"Damn!"

Bob made his way back to the fountain that stood where the washing machine used to be. Stepping back into the extreme mixture,Bob formulated his plan. If he was to hurry, he could get to the house before they could prepare for him. If he was lucky, he might be able to get inside unnoticed, maybe take them out before they knew what was happening. Maybe...

Bob's thoughts were interrupted by the slam of the front door and a voice: "Tess. Tess, are you home?"

"The girl's father," Bob bubbled to himself. Maybe a meal *IS* in order before the battle begins, he thought to himself as he made his way to the steps and Tess' father.

Meanwhile as they headed out...

"You're sure that was your father, Tess?" Ralph said in a kind tone.

"Yes, I am sure," she said, glaring at him. "I am not a child, Mr. Stuart, I know my father when I see him and that was him!"

"Well excuse me," Ralph said, taken back.

"Ignore him, Tess," Herbie said with a smile, "he is goofy like that at times. He thinks everyone is a child. Right, Pop?"

"Shut up, boy. Don't start." Ralph grumbled in warning.

"So, Nick, what brings you back this way," Herbie inquired.

"That swamp scam fall through?"

"That was no scam, thank you very much," Nick said with mock indignation as he stopped in front of the old mansion and slipped the Beast into park.

"Excuse me," Tess interrupted, "but what about my father?

What if Bob *is* at my house, is my father going to be okay?"

"Yeah, dad, tell her. Tell her Bob isn't that crazy."

Herbie looked to his father in a vain hope that Tess didn't see the doubtful expression on his youthful face.

"No, Tess, your father is safe. The crab is worked up, but he isn't stupid."

"You're right, Ralph," Nick cut it, "he isn't stupid, just crazy!" Nick opened his door and climbed out.

"What..?" Tess stuttered, growing alarmed.

"You stay out of this, Nick," Ralph muttered, following suit, "you don't know Bob like I do and I tell you he won't hurt the girl's father!"

"For her sake, I hope you're right," Nick said. "Come on, kids, let's get inside. Tess, call your father and tell him anything to get him out of the house."

"Okay," she said, following Herbie up the sidewalk and into the dark mansion.

Bob's left eyestalk snuck around the cracked back door to look at the man sitting at the bar. He didn't know much about alcohol, but he knew beer when he saw it and knew of its effects, and he was glad to see this man happily downing a can.

Bob tried to get settled, to allow the man to down a few more of the numbing cans, but his size made doing it quietly very hard. The underside of his giant carapace scratched the hardwood of the porch and he froze, waiting for the balding man to raise some sort of alarm. Instead, he heard contented chugging from the other side of the door.

"Tess?" the man known as Major yelled after finishing his beer. "Tess Whitfield, where are you?"

When no reply came, Major grunted and rose to get another beer from the fridge. After retrieving a fresh can, he noticed the back door ajar.

"Dammit, Tess," he mumbled, crossing to shut the door--oblivious to the eyestalk, the width of his fisted hand across, peering in at him.

"Work hard all day for that girl and how does she repay me?" he asked some unseen other in the kitchen.

"By leaving the back door open," he answered his question as he settled back at the bar.

"The thanks I get...," he started as the phone rang.

Major cracked his second beer and took a long pull before he answered. "Hello?"

"Dad..."

"Tess? Girl, where are you?"

"Dad, listen..."

"Did you know that you left the back door open?"

"Dad, that wasn't..."

"Do you have any idea what that does to the heating bill?"

"Dad, would you..."

"And you know who has to pay for that. That's right, I do!"

"Dad!"

"I work hard; and I am very good at my job, Tess. You don't realize that, but I..."

"Shut up!"

"Tess! Is that any way to talk to your..."

"Dad! Listen to me," Tess said, biting back the tears that always come with her father's drinking.

"What?"

"Dad, mom..."

"And this better be important, young lady, or you're gonna get it!"

"Dad!"

"Yeah. Sorry," he said, taking another long drag.

"Mom called. Her car is doing weird things, and she wants you to go look at it."

"Figures..."

"Now."

"Oh calm down. You're just like your mother, always..."

"Now, dad. Mom is expecting you."

"Yeah, okay, I am going."

"Thanks, dad. Bye."

"Yeah," Major replied, hanging up the phone and finishing his beer. "But she can wait for another beer." He smiled to himself and headed for the fridge.

On the porch, if it would have been physiologically possible, Bob would have been smiling. He didn't have to worry about the fool father being missed. It was perfect!