Warning: Discussion of masturbation / heat cycles / sex. Just discussion. No actual scenes.

The actual scenes are going to be published in the alter book in a few moments.
Turns out Jane and Laughing Jack had some time to talk while Sans was sick. Poor poor Sans. Good luck to him. They got ideas now.

Sans felt better the next day. As expected. His illness didn't tend to last very long. Fast to catch on, fast to drift away. Laughing Jack, of course, was upon him the moment his sickly coughs faded. Because that meant Bean was safe so they could bombard him once again.

And bombard they did. He woke up pressed against Laughing Jack, who probably confirmed Sans' fever wore off in the early hours of the night, and Bean lightly chewing on his arm to wake him up.

"Sansy, good morning!" Laughing Jack cooed, gently hugging him tighter. "You're not sick anymore! I missed you!"

"Yeah yeah - okay - yes okay indeed." Sans had to awkwardly shift as his daughter and boyfriend crawled over his body as if he just was brought back from the dead.

"Bah!" Bean smacked a hand against his knee with all of the force she could muster. For a moment, Sans just thought the blanket fell onto his knee.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry for trying you keep you safe kiddo, sheesh," Sans said. He dropped his head back against the pillow in his utter defeat against that hit. "Now c'mon, I need'a feed ya."

Realizing what he meant, Bean gurgled loudly, before taking far too long to roll over and crawl away with a loud set of giggles. However, her speed was no match for the bed coming to an end. Leaving her trapped, either having to decide to try and teleport (which she was never consistent with) and lose her comfort with her parents, or stay and suffer the horrid taste of milk. That would help her survive.

Bean babbled again, hitting her fists into the sheets with a pout.

"You feed her candy too much, Jack." Sans lifted her over with his magic, cupping their child within his arms. "I mean, she doesn't have to drink milk, but docs said it'd help her grow more tall with firmer bones. Don't wanna spare her ribs."

Okay. That was god awful. The worst pun he's ever said by far. A stretch and a half indeed. But Laughing Jack only smiled warmly at it, so maybe it was worth it.

"But I can't! She always gives me a sad look so I promised her I'd give her candy at least once a day." Much like their daughter, Laughing Jack gave a long pout. "And I don't give her king sized candy bars so she isn't completely full when we have to feed her milk."

"Uh huh."

Bean, naturally, tried to fight the bottle. But she had just spent almost a full day and night without being near Sans, so she didn't fight it that much. Because that meant he'd stop holding her and she certainly didn't want that.

Babies were rather easy to read.

"I heard Eyeless Jack left his room. Is he doing better now?" Sans asked.

"Yeah, mostly," Laughing Jack said.

"Do you think I got sick because of him?"

Laughing Jack immediately got a big grin on his face the moment Sans said that. Then, with a cocked eyebrow and a smirk, he giggled.

"No. Certainly not. It's a demon sickness only."

"Ah."

With a slight blush, Laughing Jack tucked himself against his knees. Staring down at Sans with that smile still.

"... but it'd be super hot to see you with that. We should turn you into a demon. So you can get that."

Hot?

Sans, with a confused glance, tilted his head as Bean drank her milk in his arms. "I'd be sick, doesn't sound very attractive. Especially since you just complained I was sick last night."

Laughing Jack only shrugged with that same grin and blush. "You should ask him what kind of sickness it is."

"Uh... okay?"

So Sans did. Once Bean was fed, and once he was dressed and given a rundown of what was for breakfast, he asked Jack.

"So what kinda sickness did ya get?"

And boy, did he give a response.

No words. But his expression said anything. He practically jumped, face immediately burning bright red as he squeaked. Ears slightly perking up from behind his dark brown hair.

"I -" His gaze jumped from a slightly confused Sans to a smiling Laughing Jack. "You asshole! You didn't tell him?"

"Heh, no." Laughing Jack chuckled.

"Is it some weird demon thing? Why are you freaking out so much?" Jeff asked.

Jeff, who was still in the kitchen from making breakfast, crossed his arms. His hair, in a pony tail, flopped to the side as he tilted his head.

"And don't make Sans ask me that when kids are in the room! Jack!" Eyeless Jack hissed, cheeks still burning.

"Oh." Jeff paused. "That's what Smile Dog meant - fucking ew, ew! I didn't need to know you turn into - no, ew, fuck I'm leaving!"

And just like that, Jeff was gone.

Okay, now Sans was very confused. Why was he so embarrassed and why did Jeff leave -

Wait, did...

"Oh my Toby Fox, was your sickness like a horny thing? Is that why Laughing Jack said he wanted to see me like that?" Sans asked.

Without a sound, Eyeless Jack covered his face entirely with his hands. Laughing Jack only leaned against his arm with that smile he's been carrying all morning.

"Just... it's just... it feels weird to tell Sans about that kind of stuff." Jack, the less perverted Jack, avoided Sans' gaze. "He's not... he doesn't need to know."

Sans patted the counter. "And I certainly don't. I do not need to keep track of when people in my house are getting frisky with their hands, alright?"

"Wait, no, I - fricking no, I don't... touch myself, not when - it's not like that! Demon heats aren't like the idea of heats that weird people fetishize on the internet!" Jack basically screeched.

Then came an awkward cough from the living room that dragged all of their focus towards it. Ben, who had pulled himself out of the T.V, stared at them all with wide eyes.

"Okay, I'm going to go kill someone to get that out of my head," Ben said, before disappearing into the T.V.

Eyeless Jack covered his face one more. "Jack, I hate you," He groaned.

Okay. So apparently heats were actually a thing for demons. Okay. Weird thing to think about. Sans did not realize that his 'sickness' was just Jack getting incredibly horny. And he didn't really need to know that.

"It's not... like... I don't jerk off. Demons only get... erm, excited if they actually have a partner."

"A mate." Laughing Jack wiggled his eyebrows.

"I mean, I guess that's the term, but it's all so dirty," Eyeless Jack muttered, still avoiding making eye contact with the two of them. "Really it just makes me sick. Really. I feel like throwing up, I sneeze and vomit, everything sucks. It's just punishing me for not having a date, basically. If you do have one then you do it with them. So over the last week I have just been sick. That's it. That's why I told everyone I was sick, because that's all it is."

"Ohhh, okay! Good. Whew. I didn't want to know that." Sans shot his boyfriend a look. "Why did you tell me to ask him? I don't wanna make Jack uncomfortable."

"Because when I first asked him if he had a mate for his heat he got all flustered, and when he gets flustered he looks very silly."

Ah, so he was teasing Jack then. Jack didn't look very good with handling sex talk. His face was still beet red, his ears were perked up from behind his dark hair, revealing the pointed demon tips, and he seemed to be very interested in staring at the floor.

"Okay, that's enough teasing of him," Sans said, lightly slapping his boyfriends shoulder. "Sorry about asking something I didn't realize was personal, Jack, yer can leave now."

"Oh thank god."

And Jack very quickly took up Sans' offer, practically bouncing out of the room with a hurried shuffle of feet.

"Why did you seem very interested in me knowing that? Were you hinting you get heats as well?" Sans asked as Laughing Jack adjusted his hold on Bean.

"What? No, angels don't get heats. Pure angels can only be created. Pure demons can only be born. That's why demons get heats, part of their biology. Which is really funny." He snorted at the thought.

Interesting. Sans pushed aside his plate. He knew there was a lot of complexity and levels to demons and angels, and that he barley knew how any of it worked, but he wasn't going to ask. He had more pressing matters at hand. For example, like if Laughing Jack really wanted Sans to ask that because he was just horny.

"Are you horny? Is that why you seem so interested in the topic of sex but you don't know how to ask me?" Sans inquired, leaning forward.

Laughing Jack looked away.

Sans sighed.

"Oh Jack," He muttered.