Bean rolled around in her crib, babbling loudly. A stuffie was caught between her sharp teeth as she knawed on it, rather determined to get through the stitched limbs and tear them off. After one last nibble, her sharp teeth managed to cut through the string, eliciting a happy gurgle as she tugged off the head and tossed it to the side.

"Is that all you do?" Sally asked, peering over the railing of her crib to watch Bean struggle and fling the head into a further location. After a moment of watching the baby, she huffed, taking the head out as a favor.

"Sah. Bah." Bean rolled over, pressing out a huff from her chest before she started working on chewing through the arm.

"You already took off their head, they're dead," Sally pointed out. "Head's a weak point. Don't you know that? It was mine, at least. Anything happens to the head and poof. Bye-bye, person."

Bean continued her assault nevertheless, determined to completely rip apart the stuffie that dared to be in her presence. After a moment, she suddenly grew bored of that task, pushing it aside before she rolled again onto her back.

"You've been moving a lot, huh?" The human girl tilted her head to the side. "Sans said you're supposed to be, like, really active now. And you are, I guess."

A flash of magic. Then there was a skittle, grey and blue, laying beside the little skeleton. Her eye sockets widened with glee before she was frantically snatching it up and chewing on it.

"This is so boring!"

Sally went to sit on the bed, crossing her arms with a pout. Bean only watched for a moment before she returned her attention to the candy, vastly interested in the sugary sweetness she had long since grown quite fond of.

"Know what?" Sally said, suddenly standing up. She leaned back and forth on her heels, humming in thought as a smile crossed her face. "A tea party! That's what we'll do! If you're going to be my sister or niece or - whatever, whatever you are - then you have to be ready for tea parties!"

She reached forward into the crib. Bean stared at those hands, frowning. Not skeleton. Wanted skeleton. Liked it when the skeleton picked her up. No claws either. But she recognized her face and liked her enough. So she allowed herself to be lifted into the air, fisting a little ruffle of Sally's pink shirt into his fists as she was then pressed into her chest.

"Bah," Bean said.

"It'll be fun!" Sally said, giving a quick bounce of her arms to try and excite Bean for their lunch together. "We can get some candy and food from Jeff and have fruit punch be tea and you can meet allllll of my friends. Yeah, all of them! There's Charlie and Mr. Kab - he's Mr. Krab but one of his eyes fell off - and Nancy and some chicken stuffy I found and named Coffee and -" She paused, staring at the floor. "Oh, wait, Coffee won't be around today. I named him coffee because I spilled coffee on him and he's in the wash. Well, then you can just have his seat!"

Bean peered over Sally's shoulder as she started walking out of Sans' room with her. No skeleton. She wanted her skeleton. No cone nose either. Seeing this, she huffed, annoyed and dissatisfied, and now pissy. Wanted them around.

Sally made her way downstairs with little Bean, passing by an eyeless man who waved toward Bean. She giggled, giving a quick imitation of his movement before her arm sloppily fell to Sally's shoulder. Nice man. Gave her candy. Then her hand caught her attention, and she spent the next few minutes staring at it as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

The teenager standing at the counter turned to look at her. His hair was tied back into a low-hanging ponytail, his bangs swept aside with the slightest bit of flour caking the edges. His pale hands, raw with old scars and the remains of the pastry dish he was working on now, paused in his cooking efforts. If he had turned fully, Sally could've seen the words on his bright pink apron Sans had bought him for Christmas. The words 'Kiss the cook' crossed off and respectfully replaced with 'Go fuck yourself'. As Jeff would have it no other way.

"Hey Sally," Jeff said. He leaned to pat Bean's head, but noticing his hands, he readjusted to a simple hover pat. Bean didn't notice, far too entranced by chewing on her hand. "Is she still doing alright? Bean's not at all weird after being kidnapped, right? Sans and Jack asked us to keep an eye on her."

"She's fine," Sally said, "Ripped off a head of the stuffed animal she had and then tried its legs."

Jeff nodded. "So she's normal then. What'cha doing down here? Need anything?"

"Cookies and fruit punch." Sally blinked expectantly. "Usually Sans gets them for me for my tea parties but he's not here. Can you?"

Jeff only gave a slight nod before he was whipping off his hands and delivered the items. Cookies, freshly baked that morning, and fruit punch boxes from the fridge. Gave her a little pat on the head, too, before giving Bean one as well. That caught Bean's attention, causing the little infant to look over and babble toward him.

For Sally, it was always a little bit odd to see Jeff working in the kitchen. A familiar sight, for sure, but one that always made her wonder. Jeff was one of the big scary CreepyPasta. A lot of people feared him. Yet, there he was, making dish after dish when he wasn't watching TV or working out. During those times, he looked more like his CreepyPasta self. Wearing his usual white hoodie outfit, having a knife or two on him, with his sloppy black hair hanging low. That was Jeff the Killer. And oddly, that same killer made cookies and brownies that morning before he decided to work on a little pastry dish. She didn't know quite what yet. It was a situation that always made her pause and thinks. About a lot of things.

Instead of sharing, she thanked him and went on her merry way.

Bean took a moment to chew on the edge of a table as Sally prepared their little tea set up. Small plastic chairs situated with plushies of all sorts within them. She poured fruit punch into each cup, setting out two cookies onto every plate. When she got to Bean's, she gently pried the baby off of the table and set her onto her cushion before she gave a generous third cookie onto her plate.

"See? Isn't this great!" Sally said, beaming at Bean.

Bean dragged the plate towards her in her little stubby hands before she promptly began to chew on the edge of it.

"Wait, no -"

Sally reached over and tugged the plate away, replacing it with a cookie that Bean accepted as a transaction. Now interested in the chocolate, the baby quickly snapped her jaws to bite down and consume it at record speed.

"I can't wait until you grow up. Sans said we can play lots of games when you can walk and talk. And that we can build forts and stay up late for sleepovers. Sans and I do that sometimes but he's busy a lot."

Sally watched Bean for a moment. A firm, indescribable look on her face. Bean babbled some words, chewing on a second cookie.

"I don't like it still. My therapist said, though, that I've been making a lot of progress with my jealousy. I don't think I'm that jealous. I mean, I... don't know. Sans still makes time for me, which I like. I need friends, since I get jealous because I don't have other friends. That's what my therapist said. So that's why you need to grow up quickly, alright? I need more friends."

Bean babbled, on her third cookie by that point.

Sally sighed, reaching up to tug off the bandages that rested underneath her bangs. When she tugged them down, her hands brought them underneath her gaze. A trail of blood, now free, trailed down her forehead.

"Hey'a."

Bean glanced up. The door creaked open, and a familiar skeleton tapped against the door as he looked toward Bean and Sally. Bean quickly giggled and gurgled happy sounds, a twirl of smoke covering her before she appeared in her Father's arms. Sans quickly dropped the bag he was holding to catch his daughter.

"Sans! Hi Sans!" Sally said, waving frantically. "Do you want to join my tea party!"

"Yeah, of course."

Sans situated himself on an empty spot on the floor in between two plushies, placing Bean onto his lap as he used his magic to float over the bag. Bean pawed at his arm, demanding attention as he looked away to make sure he didn't drop the magically floating object.

"Jane and I found those headbands you wanted," Sans explained as he dropped the bag next to Sally. "The one's with the pink sparkles, right? We saw 'em while we were leaving a store and snagged you a few."

Sally gasped, giggling as she dug through her bag of new treasures. Limited edition, too. "Thank you! These are super duper cool!"

"Yeah. Figured you'd like them." Sans readjusted Bean as she awkwardly rolled on his lap. "How was your day with Bean? Have fun?"

"Mhm! We had a tea party. Bean is a very good guest, she ate all of the cookies!"

Bean smacked Sans' arm. Finally, did he give her the proper attention she craved, running a hand through her hair. She babbled happily.

___________________

Sally wasn't sure what she wanted anymore.

She never did know. The first time she ever felt like she had a goal was when she had come back, staring at her bloodied hands. Her blood. She had wanted one thing. Safety and revenge.

And she got it. Her mean Uncle died. Her family died. Everyone died. And she had her home to herself. That's what she had always wanted, right? She wanted to live. To experience life and never go. And she got it.

Then it got lonely. And boring. And Sally realized she didn't know what she wanted.

She made a few CreepyPasta friends. Slenderman was nice. She liked him. Ben was fun. He brought her games and would sit and play with her. And she grew to dislike the man who vowed to turn against CreepyPasta and abandon the name because that was her name. She liked being a CreepyPasta. Being a CreepyPasta made her feel part of something, wanted.

And then she met Sans and everything derailed. And once again, Sally had no idea what she wanted.

She liked having a brother. She liked hanging out with Jeff and Jane and playing games with Ben. Toby was okay. She could tolerate him now. But with that came a new understanding, and what little worldview she had before was crumbling once again around her. Sally wasn't used to feeling powerless. Yet, once again, she felt like a scared confused lost little girl. Standing amidst a field of crumbling dreams and hopes.

She was a wandering spirit, bound to an existence out of a sheer will to survive. A ghost. Sally should know what she wanted. If she wanted to keep being a Creepypasta or officially move on. Let herself accept this new, more quiet life. She liked it. But she wasn't sure if it was what she actually wanted. Because now most of them weren't killing as much. Were settling down. Was Sally ready to settle down forever? Was she comfortable with that?

She could recall the first moment she met Sans. Ben had said he was taking care of some other serial killers. One or two. Said that he could help her. And he did. Got her pretty dresses and a nice person that helped organize her thoughts and memories so she could deal with them. Sally had thought that was the life for her. That she'd finally be fully happy. But then everyone else started to drop off their killing urges when they found safety and security. They all killed to survive. She killed for revenge.

Only a few people would understand her views. Laughing Jack was like her. And so was Ben. And Zero. But Zero and Laughing Jack were happy with their safe lives.

Ben, though, was still on a strong killing spree. One of the few that kept at it.

For the first time in her life, Sally had sought out victims. She only had killed before to keep people out of her home. The abandoned, old dusty thing she left when she found out about Sans.

The victim lay in blood, a knife in Sally's hand as she glanced down. It was easy. It always was. There wasn't any satisfaction from it, though. There never was. Sally frowned down at that fact.

She didn't want to kill anymore. Didn't want to stop being a CreepyPasta. But trying to be one was... difficult. She didn't like trying to do so, either.

Ben watched from the corner, perched up on a desk. A bag of chips under one arm as the other one dug in. "So?"

She shrugged. He advised her to try and kill to sort out her emotions. See if she liked it. But she did and didn't. Knowing she could end their life was nice. But doing so wasn't.

"I dunno," Sally mumbled.

The one constant in her life was always Ben. Everyone else stayed and went. But Ben was her best friend. The only person in the world who could comprehend what she was going through. He knew what it was like to be murdered, to come back for sheer renege. To be lost, wondering about he finished the only reason that kept him on earth after his demise. To be trapped as a child, unable to age, wondering if that was the best decision.

"Okay, I get it then," Ben had said.

"You do?" Sally asked.

He pushed aside the chips he had stolen from their victim, letting them fall to the carpet. "This is why you didn't like Toby leaving the CreepyPasta, either. I think this is what you haven't fully figured out yet. I think you aren't sure if you want to keep being a CreepyPasta or not."

He would always understand. Ben got her. And she understood him.

"It's weird." Sally gave a firm glare at the knife she was holding as if it were the cause of her suffering. "I dunno. It's just weird."

She didn't know what she wanted. She always thought being a CreepyPasta was exactly what she wanted. Then Toby disproved her previous opinions. Was happy without the name. And seeing Jeff cooking, so content with where he was, made her think. Question the name. Sally liked the power that came with it. But she never really wanted it. A name forced upon her when she awoke from a slumber of a peaceful, quiet death.

She didn't know. She just didn't know.

"You don't have to worry about it," Ben said. "Thing is, it's your choice now. And you don't have to pick right away. And you can change your mind later, as well."

Right. Sally was safe now. She had time to decide. She had control over what she was called, and what she did. Sally glanced down towards the knife, that reflected her face. One without any blood, with gleaming green eyes.

It was up to her now. And she was... willing to consider the alternative now. 

___________________

Smut chapter up on ao3

Also I've been struggling a lot with writing and motivation and what have you, and while this book is done (only 3 chapters left of this one) the next one is barely started, so uploads may be extremely wonky after this book is published. Same with art and videos.