"I am so furious with you...the both of you." Claudia remarked giving a pointed look in Vaughn's direction as she placed a cup tea down on the table in front of me. Alexei had left me the moment we had gotten back to the house, claiming he needed to make some calls. I hadn't wanted him to leave me, our bond still making me feel like I needed to be around him after what we had been through. Niklaus had taken Loren to their bedroom to reset her leg. Basically Vaughn and I had been left to deal with the angry druid. Lucky us. 

"That was a very reckless thing you guys did. You are very lucky you aren't dead." She snapped. She took in a slow breath through her nose before continuing, "Now just what in the hell possessed you to do such a stupid thing?"

I glanced in Vaughn's direction, knowing that it was my fault we had gone up the mountain in the first place. He had tried to reason with me about waiting and going tomorrow but I had been so worked up after what had happened, after what he had told me. It was irresponsible to have made such an emotional choice. I had been taught better than that but the fact that I there was a dark druid on the loose hadn't helped. 

"Claudia, I.." 

"I wanted to see the damage that the quake had done. Poppy tried to talk me out of it but I was persistent. She wouldn't let me go alone and her mate wouldn't let her go without him..." He was taking responsibility for my actions and it made me feel ashamed. His eyes shifted my way momentarily, "It's my fault that Poppy and everyone else got hurt." 

Claudia crossed her arms over her chest, "You know better, Vaughn." I could see the disappointment and anger in her eyes. 

"I'm sorry." He hung his head, but I knew he wasn't the one who should feel sorry. I was the one should feel sorry. I was the one that could have gotten myself and everyone else killed. 

Claudia let out a long breath, "We will talk about this later." She looked in my direction, "You should go to your room, dear. I will come check on you in a moment." I nodded my head, and pushed up from the table. I met Vaughn's gaze for only a moment but I couldn't hold it. I walked back to the bedroom. 

Why was I like this? Why couldn't control myself better? Everyone was getting hurt because of me. The dark druid was out there somewhere planning to destroy everything and everyone I loved but I was floundering like fish out of water. All I wanted was to be  normal but my pursuit to have that was destroying everything else in the process. I could feel my magic hissing through my veins as my emotions swayed in every direction. 

Maybe I needed to stop fighting what I was, maybe I just needed to accept that I would never have normal. Silent tears slipped down my cheeks as I pushed my way into the bedroom and dropped myself down onto the bed. I was drowning in my own self-pity. I had done all of this to myself and I couldn't blame anyone else. I slipped under the blankets, burying myself in the silence. 

I opened my eyes slowly to the sound of movement, blinking away the sleep from my eyes. I hadn't even remembered falling asleep. I guess my mind was in to much of a haze after the near death experience. I pushed myself up on the bed, freezing when my eyes locked a familiar form. Alexei sat on the edge of the bed, his back to me. I watched the way his muscles rolled with the tension in his soul. A black soul that knew nothing about loving anyone, not even himself. Still, I wanted to wrap myself up in that black and drown myself in it. It was intoxicating and terrifying.

He was as dangerous to me as the dark magic, "I can feel your eyes on me, Snowflake." His voice rumbled as he slowly turned his head to cast a look at me over his shoulder. His lips quirked up to the right in a familiar smirk. He was a beast that liked to play with his food before he devoured and I knew that he was going to devour me. I could see it in his burning gaze. It was only a matter of time before the nature of what he was demanded that he take what was his.

It was only a matter of time before I caved. I could feel it already happening. 

I folded my arms over my chest, tightening the blanket to myself like a shield, "Where's Claudia?"  I remembered drinking the tea she had given to me after finding me in the dark. She said it would help me. That was all I could remember, my mind was blank like a book with empty pages. I glanced to the mug sitting on the side table, narrowing my eyes. I had obviously been drugged, never can trust a druid.

"I didn't kill her if that's what you're worried about." He answered in a teasing tone, mischief shining in his eyes.

I gave him dry look, "I wasn't worried, not about that."

He chuckled softly as he rose up and walked around the bed, coming closer to me, "She is on the phone with your mother as we speak though and your mother does not sound pleased by the fact that you came here on your own or that you got hurt. Looks like you're in for an earful when she gets here." I let out a small groan as I sunk back into the pillows, glaring up at Alexei. He was enjoying this way too much. I only had a couple hours of freedom left before I was going to be subjected to hours of guilt-tripping and lectures of how disappointed my parents were with me.

"Don't look so glum, Snowflake. Be thankful that you have people who care about you." His statement shocked me. It was one of the most normal things he had really said to me, something that hinted to something deeper inside of him.

I held his gaze, my blood humming from the draw of our bond and the fresh memories of the moment we had shared in the mountain, "People care about you too..." I cared about him in my own messed up way. He had moments when he had shown me that he had a heart buried underneath all the madness and rage he used to keep people away from him. I saw it for a moment, a flicker of pain and doubt before it was swallowed under his usual mask of indifference.

I frowned, "Don't do that."

"Do, what? What am I doing?" Alexei smirked but I could feel him pulling away through our bond. The connection we made in the mountain was fading quickly.

I gave him hardened look, "Pretending like you don't care when I know you do."

He lost his his smirk as his eyes dropped to my lips for a moment. There was something pulling at the seams of who we were, unraveling what we thought we were. He reached out towards me, fingertips brushing lightly against my dry lips. Blue eyes lifted to meet my stare. Inside of them I saw a flurry of emotions that stole my breath away, "I used to care, once. Time, violence, and death killed that part of me. I became just a creature of habits and instincts. I don't care...I barely feel anything anymore. Sorry to break it to you, Snowflake."

I shook my head, "You're lying. That's all you do, all the time. I don't think you even know what its like to speak the truth anymore with how many lies you've told. They've poisoned you and turned you into this." I motioned toward him with my hand. My blood was humming as my emotions surged, "But that isn't all there is to you, Alexei. There is more and I've seen it at times. There is good inside of you..."

"Not this again." He heaved in frustration, pushing up off the bed, "Why do you insist on trying to make me into what you wish I was? You should know by now that this is just who I am. Nobody said you had to like it but stop trying to make me fit into your fantasy world. It's insulting."

I clenched my teeth, "I'm not trying to make or fit you into anything, Alexei. I'm just trying to show you that you're running away from yourself...there is more to you..."

Alexei snorted, cutting off my next words, "No there isn't. The moment you realize that the better it will be for the both of us." He turned away from me and walked towards the door. My stomach twisted into terrible knots. I didn't want him to leave like that. I didn't want him to go away after everything that had happened. 

"Wait...don't go...Stay, please?" He froze with his hand on the doorknob. I shifted around on the bed, feeling uncertain of myself, "I'm sorry, okay? I have a problem holding my tongue sometimes when I know I should. You just have this knack for getting under my skin like no one else does it seems."

Alexei let go of the door, turning back to me, "If I stay now... I'm going to get under your skin in a way that you'll never be able to get rid of. I don't think that's what you want, Snowflake." I knew what he was talking about even though he wasn't speaking the word as bluntly as I was used too.

I stared at him silently, slowly pulling back the blankets. I wanted him to stay. I didn't want to be alone anymore, loneliness was such a heavy burden to bear, "I'm willing to take the risk." He stood like a statue, the light in his eyes sparking before he took his first true step towards me. 

_______

Song: Destroyer by Phantogram

A/N: First update of the New year! So excited for what is to come and hope you guys are too!