Julian whistled as he ambled around the room, twirling the sword as he searched for something on the floor. He stopped behind the sofa, leaned down to pick up a half-broken bottle of alcohol and then picked it up to finish whatever was left in it. "What else should I do?" he hummed, the broken rim of the bottle close to his lips. It was just as he was in the bar, half drunk and full of fury. "What would finish my revenge?"

   I clenched my teeth, my hands closing into fists on my lap. "Revenge," I repeated the word, staring at the broken pieces of everything that surrounded me. Broken parts of the sofa and the console table that once held a decanter full of bourbon and alcohol, fragments of the mantle and the wood from the wall. And right in front of me, are the broken bodies of the two boys I have loved the most in the world. Stefan lay to the side, Damon to the other; the only remnant that they were not truly alive was the stillness of their chest.

   "Revenge," Julian said the word carefully, as if it was some craft I could not understand. "It's the least they deserve for what they did to Lily."

   "Lily did it to herself!" I hissed between my teeth, pushing myself up to stand. "She wanted to rid herself of you and the only way she could do it was to kill herself."

   Julian sped towards me, his hand wrapped around my neck as he pushed me against the wall. "Say it again, sweet Clara," he softly said, a ghost of a smile right on his lips. "I will not hesitate to kill you and your child."

   "Just like you did to Valerie?"

   His hand on my neck became rigid, his thumb and forefinger digging into my jaw. "You have quite the mouth on you when you're so close to death." He leaned close enough that I could smell the alcohol in his breath. "Tell me, do you even value this child's life?" His eyes moved down from my face, to my stomach, and his smile grew. "I am quite curious to know how a vampire came to be pregnant."

   "You and me both." I would not tell him about Jo. He did not deserve to know about the doctor that brought back a man from second death and made him human once again.

   Julian loosened his hold on my neck, but his hand was still tight enough that I couldn't move. "Magic, I presume," he said, eyes still focused on my stomach. He raised his other hand, the one with the sword, and let the pointed end brush against my belly button. "What would happen if I used the sword on you... Would the child be in your personal hell, blaming you for its untimely death?" He stepped back with a laugh, until he stood above Stefan and let one foot stay on top of his chest. "Who will you choose, Clara? The boy who could never truly give you his heart or the child who has yet to live?" With his eyes still focused on me, he lowered himself until he pushed his hand right into his chest. Where his heart was. 

   "Stop!" I could only stare at the hand, at the bits of blood that spread through the opening of his hand.

   "So you choose this boy, then?"

   I could not say anything, my mouth clenched shut. 

   Julian's smile did not falter, did not move, as he pulled his hand away from Stefan's chest. "Then, how about his one?" The same hand was pushed into Damon's chest.

   "Stop!" I wanted to reach for his arm and pull his hand away from Damon's chest, but what if his hand was tightly wrapped around his heart? If she pulled the hand away, his heart would go with it and then he would truly be dead. "Please, stop! How could you make me choose?"

   "Why would I not?" He pulled his hand away and stared at the bright, brilliant blood that decorated his entire hand. "It's the interesting part of the battle, sweet Clara, to sacrifice something we value most for something we value just a little bit more than that." His eyes moved from his hand to me, and the smile widened just a little bit more. "I'm wondering what you value most in this room."

   I laid both of my hands on my stomach, my eyes focused on the two brothers laying side by side on the floor. At that instant, I knew I could not choose between either of them. So, I swallowed hard and looked over at Julian with whatever strength I could muster. "Me."

   "Pardon?"

   "Give me the rest of the night," I said as I took a step in front of the brothers, as if I could save them from whatever else Julian had planned. "Do not kill them, you have already given them something worse than death, so instead take me."

   "And why would I do that?"

   I half shrugged my shoulders. "I'll do your bidding," I mumbled, tiredness already seeping into my bones. "I'll be like one of your Heretics and do whatever you want." I didn't want to continue to speak; all I wanted was to fall into bed and allow the exhaustion to take over. 

   He stared at me for what seemed an eternity. A smile began to form on his lips as he knelt down and grabbed the brothers like sacks of potatoes, throwing them over his shoulders. "You have two hours," he simply said. "I'll see you in the heart of Mystic Falls, sweet Clara. If you're not there, well, you should say your farewells to the Salvatore brothers."

   I watched him carry the brothers out of the room, heard the door slam shut, and the house suddenly felt empty. All I could do was stare at the flames dance inside the fireplace, the way they melded with the wood until all that was left was the ashes in the bottom. It was only then that I picked up my phone and called Caroline to tell her, "I need you to come to the Salvatore House. Bring Bonnie and Valerie. Now."

   And I waited. 

   The silence in the house was deafening. I had never experienced such terrible silence, the way the walls creaked as they also accustomed themselves and what was left of the fire cooled the room. My knees collided with the floor, and my hands held me from falling face-first to the floor. I wanted to let the tears fall down my cheeks, allow everything that I felt to finally be freed, but nothing left. The exhaustion had taken everything from me. 

   A soft hand fell on my shoulder from behind me, a gentle hold as its owner took a seat by my side. "Clara?" It was Caroline, with her caring voice already pulling me a bit away from whatever it was that consumed me for a moment. "What happened here? Where is everyone?"

   I inhaled through my mouth as I turned my face to look at her. "Caroline, I'm going to ask something of you." My tongue felt heavy as I tried to speak, as I pushed the words out of my mouth. "You may say no, but I need you to understand that I can ask no one else this because there is no one else that I trust more than you." 

   Caroline's brows were furrowed together, her head tilted slightly to the side. "What are you talking about?"

   "I need you to have these babies," I said, quick and steady because I did not want to repeat the words. 

   "What?" She blinked several times, leaned back, and raised her hands to stop me. "Wait, what are you talking about? Why are you asking me this, Clara? What happened here?"

   "Julian," Valerie said. She stood behind us, her arms crossed in front of her and her lips pursed in what could only be described as anger. 

   I nodded. "He used the sword on Damon and Stefan," I explained. "If I don't meet him in an hour and a half, he's going to kill them."

   "What are you planning to do?" Caroline's voice was stern. "Are you going to sacrifice yourself for them?"

   I grabbed her hand and forced a small smile to my lips. "Care, I need you to have these kids because I am not strong enough to do so," I said, hoping that it would persuade her. Even if my words sounded strange coming from my mouth, they were the utter truth. I was not strong enough to have these children, to take care of them for the following months until they were grown and pushed into Alaric for him to do whatever he wanted with his children. "You've been the one to help me with this for the past few weeks, looking through countless parenting books and signing me up for birthing classes. Hell, you came with me to the first class! You've cared for these kids more than I have, and I'm the one that's pregnant with them."

   "I..." Caroline pulled her hand away from my hold. "You're going to sacrifice yourself for Stefan and Damon, and that's not fair!" She shook her head and frowned. "They wouldn't do the same for you."

   "I know," I said, nodding. A genuine, small smile formed on my lips. "I'm used to sacrificing myself for people that wouldn't do the same for me, but that's fine. It means they're safe."

   "But, what about you?"

   "What about me?" I chuckled and shook my head. "I have been able to survive through so many things, so what is this small one compared to all of those?"

   "It means you won't be a mother," she finally said. There was a small pout in her mouth as she said those words. "This is... This is what you've wanted for a long time."

   "I'm not really their mother, aren't I?" The smile was still on my lips. "I'm just what's taking care of them while they grow, and once they're born Alaric is going to be their sole parent." I had always thought about the pregnancy as that, but voicing my thoughts out loud made me feel worse. "So, I know I'm putting too much on you, but would you please take care of these kids?"

   "Why do you think that?" Her voice was soft, almost a whisper that only I could hear. "Clara, why do you-"

   I laid my hand gently on her cheeks, making her look at me. "I know Damon and Stefan would never do this for me, but I am doing this because I am a fool that cannot stop protecting those I care about. So, I need an answer from you, Caroline: yes or no?"

   Her mouth was slightly open as she stared at me, her brows falling to show me she was confused. She shook her head. "I don't want you to do this," she said, still shaking her head, but then she stopped and let out a loud sigh, "but I know I can't stop you."

   "Yes or no?" I repeated. 

   "Yes," she said, nodding. "Yes, I'll... I'll do it."

   I turned my head toward Valerie. "You are a Gemini witch. If I told you the spell, could you do it now?"

   The surprise in her face was evident by the way she stared back at me, her eyes wide and her mouth slightly open. "I think so," she said, taking a step forward. "Give it to me."

   I wrote down the spell I remembered from the night of what would have been Jo and Alaric's wedding. The words had been stuck in my mind ever since I heard them, turning them over and sideways in search of why it was I that had been made to have the babies instead of someone else. I knew the answer, but it felt sour whenever I thought about it.

   Valerie set us up in the middle of the room as she laid candles and lit them all around us, as she poured whatever sort of ingredients she needed that she somehow found in the kitchen. The musk and earthy scent wafted through the room alongside the scent of melted wax and the mellow of the burnt wood from the fireplace. And all I could do was stare at the space between Caroline's eyes instead of at them because I couldn't completely face her. I was making her take on something she probably didn't want, but she was doing it for me. 

   All I could think about was that I was a terrible fool.

   Valerie stood by our side, outside of the circle of herbs and wax she had created. "I don't know if it will work," she said, her fingers brushing against the paper I had written down the spell in. 

   "Make it work," I snapped. 

   She rolled her eyes. "I'm one person, Clara. This spell had the entire coven doing it, that was a lot of power."

   "Don't you draw your power from nature or something like that?" I glared at her. "Do that. Make the spell work. Now, Valerie. We don't have much time."

   She raised her hands in defeat. "Okay, okay." She looked down at the paper and reread it, then pushed it into her pocket and raised her hands for one palm to face me while the other faced Caroline. The spell left her mouth softly at first, the beginning of some form of prayer, and as the flames around us began to rise, so did her voice. 

   A harsh, prickling pain began at my side. I pulled one hand away from Caroline and laid it where I felt it, a small hiss leaving my mouth.

   "Are you okay?" Caroline asked. 

   "I don't know," I admitted, grabbing her hand again. "Valerie, is this supposed to hurt?"

   "I don't know," she said, her hands still spread in our directions. "This is my first time doing a spell like this, Clara. I don't know everything about it." Then, she continued with the spell.

   Another pain at my side, harder and harsher as if someone stabbed me. Something trickled down my legs. I looked down to see water trickling down my legs, getting darker and darker with each passing moment until all I could see was dark and vivid red. Blood. My heart began to hammer against my chest as I stared at the blood on my legs.

   "Oh, my God!" Caroline gasped from in front of me, her hands tightening on mine. 

   The pain in my stomach became worse. I fell to my knees as I tried to breathe through the pain, to hold whatever it was the spell was doing to me deep inside until it smothered over. It didn't. I pulled my hands away from hers and pressed them against my stomach, hoping that the push would smother the pain. "What's happening?" I called through my teeth. My forehead touched the cool floor. 

   "I don't know!" Caroline was the one who was in front of me, her hands on my back. "Valerie?"

   "As I said before, I don't know much about this spell." She took a step forward, inside the circle, and laid her hand on my back. "Clara, are you okay?"

   I had seen too many movies and read too many books to understand what had happened to me. If I were a mere mortal, it would mean I had lost the child. I was no mere mortal. As I looked up from the floor, I could see that Caroline's stomach had grown to the same size mine had been before. 

   It could only mean one thing: I was no longer pregnant. 

   There was an emptiness inside of me I had become familiar with throughout my life as a vampire, something that could have been considered an old friend if it was personified. I laid my hands on my stomach, feeling the flatness beneath my palm and frowning at it. It felt strange. I had become so accustomed to having something growing inside of me, some warmness that I had craved for, and now that I didn't have it... I didn't know what to do with myself except inhale deeply through my mouth.

   The pain in my stomach was still there.

   "Wow," Caroline hummed as she stared down at her stomach. "I... I didn't expect it to be this quick." She laid her hands on her stomach, felt around it with her palm, and then let out a small smile to herself. 

   "I'm sorry..." I didn't know whether I was apologising to Caroline or to the children. "I'm so sorry." Yet, I knew part of why I was apologising. I pushed myself up to stand, ignoring the pain in my pelvis and the way my knees wobbled.

   "It worked," Valerie breathed, smiling. "I mean, I knew it would work, of course."

   "Thank you." I gave her a single nod, then turned to look back at Caroline. I took a step closer to her and grabbed her hand. "Care, I'm going to do something that will be terribly selfish."

   Caroline glanced down from our hands and then up to my face. "What else are you going to do, Clara?"

   I clenched my teeth, swallowed hard, and gave her a small smile. "I don't know how I'm going to survive this," I said, my voice as soft as the breeze outside, "but I'm going to try my hardest to do it. I only need something else from you."

   "What do you need from me?"

   "I need you to bring me back," I told her, staring into her eyes. "I need you to help Bonnie bring Stefan and Damon back from the stone, and then I need you to bring me back. Find a way to bring me back."

   She furrowed her brows. "Bring you back? What?"

   "Bring. Me. Back," I repeated. "As soon as Damon and Stefan return, bring me back."

   Before she said anything else, I sped out of the house and went straight to downtown Mystic Falls. It was empty and dark, the cold wind howling against my ears with each step I took. The Mystic Grill was not empty and its windows were not boarded up as it once had been, the inside was dimly lit and I could see bodies moving around to the music. Right beside the Mystic Grill, the police station's clock tower was the only bright thing. I stared at the face of the clock, watching the minute and the hour hands move to twelve to signal that it was midnight. 

   I was late.

   My head craned to the town square across the street. A figure stood there with their hands in their pockets—Julian. 

   I sped towards him and stopped a few feet away. "I'm here." I glanced around, hoping to see Damon or Stefan somewhere near him. "Where are they, Julian?"

   A laugh left his mouth. He stepped to the side to reveal Damon and Stefan leaning against the fountain, their eyes closed and their chests unmoving. "I decided to give you five more minutes," he said as he kicked one of their legs. "I see that you're no longer pregnant."

   "No." I laid my hand on my stomach, feeling the flatness beneath my palm and the emptiness that now embraced me like an old friend. It welcomed itself back. "I'm not."

   "Was that part of your grand plan to be one of my friends?" The smile never left his lips. 

   "Yes." I pulled out my phone to text Caroline the location of Damon and Stefan, then threw the phone to the side. My eyes focused on Julian, the fury inside of me pushing away the cold that crept with the breeze. "I may be a monster, but even I don't put the life of an innocent child in danger." He did not need to know there had been twins growing inside of me; he did not need to know how empty I felt at that moment. 

   "Now I'm intrigued." Julian ambled towards me, pinched my cheeks with his hand to make me look straight into his eyes. "What else have you planned, sweet Clara?"

   I clenched my jaw. Everything felt like too much at that moment. I felt the blood that had fallen between my legs during the spell, felt the sudden emptiness that had welcomed itself inside of me once they were gone; I felt the disgust of myself when I thought about how much I cared for Damon and Stefan when they didn't care as much for me. This was who I was. And I was so terribly tired of being that person. 

   I let my sight linger on their bodies. Stefan and Damon, side by side even in what could be considered something that was a lot like death—a hell made specifically for them. Their chests did not move, their eyes didn't open, and there was no sign they were actually alive except for the usual colour of their skin. There were no grey veins lingering on their skin for when a vampire died, no scent of desiccated skin that was a lot like dust and mould. They appeared asleep. I hoped Bonnie would find a way to bring them back from their hell as soon as possible, because then they would be able to bring me back. 

   My eyes moved from them to Julian, the fury inside of me growing like a forest fire. "This." I closed my eyes and allowed myself to sink into the emptiness, welcoming it as I had done before. 

   I turned off my humanity.