"Robby is officially going trial. They've revoked all of their deals and they're setting up a court date," My dad informs me on Monday after I've come home from work.

"That's great," I mumble irritably. "Do we have to get him some dress clothes or something for the trial?"

"I assume so. I don't have very much information about it yet, I just know that he's definitely not taking a deal," He shrugs at me. Zero jumps up with his paws leaning on my hips as he tries to reach my face to greet me with kisses. I pat his head, running my fingers over his smooth fur.

"Keep me posted then, I'll go shopping for some nice clothes later," I say before I head into my room to get out of my work uniform. I still have to take Zero for a walk so I put on some jeans and my old boots. The cut on my leg has pretty much healed now so I can comfortably fit into some loose jeans now.

With my bag and Zero's toys, I hook him to his leash and we head out of the house. I had drawn so much yesterday at the preschool that I'm taking a break from it today so I just put my ear buds in my ears to listen to music and relax. I have to throw a ball or a Frisbee every so often for Zero but other than that, I'm enjoying the nice summer afternoon.

I'm trying not to think about Robby and the fact that he's just thrown away his life. I'd known that he wasn't going to take any of the deals that they'd offered him but hearing it finalized makes it even harder to swallow. I'm not sure what I'll do without my brother around and thinking about it takes the air from my lungs like somebody's just punched me in the chest.

The park is pretty empty today so I let Zero roam freely as long as I can still see him. There's a family down by the playground but he knows not to approach strangers. He's a big dog and some people are afraid, or at least skeptical, of big dogs so we'd trained him to keep his distance as much as possible from strangers. But if they want to pet him, he's very friendly.

I just keep an eye on him to make sure that he's staying away from the kids at the playground because even though he should know not to go over there, some of his training goes out the door when he smells lunch meat so if they start having a picnic or something, I'll have to act fast. Right now, they're just swinging so Zero is only concerned about the tennis ball in his mouth.

This dog is mine now, I suddenly realize. My dad sure as hell won't take care of him and with Robby in jail for twenty years, he won't ever see his dog again. Zero really loves Robby. He's a dog, he doesn't know about all of Robby's mistakes. He still looks at Robby like he's the best thing that's ever happened to this planet, and he always gets the most excited when Robby comes home because he missed him so much when he was away. I know that I joke about Zero liking me more than he likes Robby but everybody knows that Zero absolutely adores Robby more than anything.

I guess Zero and I have that in common—we'll love Robby no matter what. Despite his mistakes, his stupid decisions, his childish defenses, we will always be there for him. Unlike Zero though, I understand what Robby has done and what he's continuing to do. That makes me stupider than Zero, in a way, because I have enough information that should make me hate Robby, or at least not support him as much as I have. Zero doesn't understand any of that.

It's not just Robby either, I'm inexplicably loyal to everybody that I know. I'm loyal to my father because I haven't left this town even though I've always wanted to but I know that he wouldn't be able to handle being on his own. Even people that I don't really know that well, I'm loyal to them too just like a dog. Take Dex for example, I don't really know him. And yet, I've been loyal to him by keeping his secret from Amber.

Despite her being such a sweet, caring girl, I have kept my mouth shut about Dex's affair with Gabby. I'm not sure what he's ever done to deserve my silence but I'm starting to feel guilty every time that I'm around Amber. She's really nice and I'm not sure if we're friends or not but if we are, then I am a terrible friend.

So, I guess that I'm not loyal to everyone but to most people. It's pathetic, I know that, but I hate confrontation so much and I have this nonstop desire to feel liked by everybody so I don't ever want to do anything to upset the people around me.

Zero comes back to me with the ball and I toss it again. Running around in circles without ever accomplishing anything.

I really am a dog.

While Zero is taking a break to sniff some trees, my view is obstructed out of the blue by a pair of blue jeans. Since I'm sitting on the ground, I have to look up until I see Dex standing in front of me. He sits down in the grass and I take my ear buds out of my ears.

"Hi," I slowly greet him.

"Hey, I've been looking for you," He informs me. "I went to your house and your dad told me that you'd be here."

"Yeah, here I am. What's up?"

"I need to talk to you about Amber," Dex informs me. "She told me that you told her that she should stop loving me?"

"That's not what I said."

"Then what did you say?" He asks me curiously.

I look up at him and blink a few times, trying to figure out if he's serious or not. He really tracked me down while I'm walking my dog to ask me what I said to his girlfriend? "She just needed to vent because she was mad and I just listened. I barely even said anything."

"Are you trying to break us up because you know about Gabby?"

"What?" A laugh escapes me at how ridiculous he's being right now. "Are you serious?"

"Yes, I'm serious," He definitely does look serious.

"No, I'm not trying to break you up," I assure him. "Would you even care if I was?"

"I don't want to lose her, Yasmin," My name rolls off of his tongue. I know that I shouldn't be worried about how pretty my name sounds coming from his voice but it makes me melt just a little bit. Even when he's being ridiculous and paranoid, he still makes me lose my mind a little bit. "I know what I told you in the orchard could have been confusing but I really care about Amber. So please don't tell her shit like that."

"All I said was that if you keep taking advantage of her, she'll reach a breaking point and she'll stop trying," I inform him. "Because she told me that she feels like you're taking advantage of her sometimes. That's it."

"She said that?" He looks surprised. I don't know why he's so surprised by that because to me, it seems like he really is taking advantage of her. Even more than she realizes, ironically enough.

"I don't want to get involved in your relationship," I say quickly.

"You're already involved," Dex informs me.

"I don't want to be," I tell him again. Whether Dex loves Amber or not, or that he's cheating on her with Gabby, that Amber thinks that he takes advantage of her. All of the things that I know about their relationship, I wish that I didn't. I have problems of my own to deal with and I'm so tired of being a part of their relationship when I hardly know either one of them. I guess that I might be friends with Amber now but we still haven't known each other very long. I have no interest in their dramatic relationship at all.

"I heard that your brother is officially going to trial, Gabby told me," He changes the subject as if he can tell what I'm thinking about. "That sucks."

"Yeah, it sucks," I agree with him.

"And you probably don't really care that much about my relationship," He slowly realizes. "I'm sorry that you got dragged into this mess."

"Me too," I mutter bitterly. Not only am I bitter about what's happening with my brother but I'm bitter that Dex seems to fall in love so easily but I know that he'll never fall in love with me. Bitter jealousy, I guess I could call it.

"Have you talked to Javi lately?" He seems to quickly change the subject.

"Who?"

"Javier," He elaborates. "You two seemed to get along pretty well Friday night."

"No, I don't really know him," I say slowly. I suddenly remember that on Friday night, Javier told me that he'd tell everybody that I gave him a blow job and at the time, when I was wildly intoxicated, I thought that would be a really great idea. "Did he say anything about me?"

That question makes Dex laugh a little bit and I feel absolutely mortified. My face starts heating up as I try to think of something to say but nothing comes to mind. "Yeah, but I can't decide if he's lying or not."

I open my mouth to tell him the truth but I stop myself when I realize that this means that Dex doesn't know something about me. It's a small thing but it's something and I like that. There are so many things that I don't know about Dex because he likes to be so mysterious. I've finally got one mystery that he can't figure out, even though it's something as stupid as whether I went down on one of his friends or not.

"I was pretty drunk," I say slowly. "Maybe he isn't lying."

"You don't remember?" He raises his eyebrows at me.

"No, I remember."

He looks at me curiously and amused but then his smile drops and he says something that I never expected him to say in a million years. "You know more about me than anyone."

It takes the breath right out of my lungs and the way that his blue eyes are looking into mine makes my entire body go numb. "What?" I choke out because I definitely don't understand what he means by that.

"Amber doesn't know about Gabby. Gabby doesn't know about the drag racing or what my real name is, she doesn't even know that I play guitar. But for some reason, you know everything about me. Everything important, anyway. I don't know that much about you."

"You know just as much as anybody else," I tell him slowly.

Zero comes back over to me. He keeps his distance from Dex but he doesn't try to attack him, which is good. My dog clearly doesn't like him but at least he doesn't think that he's attacking anybody anymore. I pat Zero's head a few times before he nudges the tennis ball with his long nose, so I throw that as far as I can across the park. Granted, that isn't far because I don't have very good arm strength.

"Tell me something that nobody else knows," Dex suggests, leaning back with his arms supporting his weight but his eyes don't leave mine. My shaking fingers are anxiously pulling at the grass and I'm wishing that this moment would be over. I feel like I'm suffocating in my nerves. "It's only fair, you know."

"There's nothing about me that nobody else knows," I inform him. "I'm not that exciting or mysterious. I tell Sage pretty much everything. And thanks to her loud mouth and some pretty awkward circumstances, you actually know a lot more about me than I'm comfortable with as it is."

There's a long lull in the conversation as Dex is thinking about what to say next and then he finally decides, "You didn't really do anything with Javi, did you?"

"Is it so hard to believe that I did?" I question him, feeling absolutely humiliated that I just said that. Of course it's hard to believe that anybody would do anything with me, I should have never even let Javier tell people that something happened. Who would be stupid enough to believe it anyway?

"Only because I think that even if you really did try, the poor kid would nut in his pants before anything could actually happen," He quickly explains to me. "You really underestimate yourself, you know."

I don't say anything. I don't like this conversation so maybe if I just stay quiet, he'll get the hint and change the subject.

"Yaz, you're really beautiful," He slowly says to me. My body had felt numb but when he says that, it suddenly feels like I'm on fire, every part of me. "That's not something that only I know about you. Anybody who has ever met you can see that. So tell me something that nobody knows. Not even Sage or Javi know."

Nobody knows that I'm kind of obsessed with you.

"There's really nothing, Oliver," I promise him because there's obviously no way in hell that I'm telling him what I'm thinking.

"Then we'll sit here while you think of something," He stubbornly decides.

I'm definitely not as stubborn as Dex, so I know that I have to think of something to tell him. It has to be true or he won't believe it, but there's really not that much about me that Sage doesn't know. The things that she might not know, Robby probably knows. Like I just told him, I am not that interesting and I'm not cloaked in five different layers of mysteries like some other people (Dex).

After a few minutes of thinking and tossing the tennis ball for Zero, I finally think of something that I've never told anybody. Mostly because it's a stupid pipe dream but I think that it's good enough to get Dex off of my back. "I want to go to Oregon."

"What?"

"Portland, to be exact," I admit. It's not something that I'm ashamed of or embarrassed about, I've just never told anybody because I feel like they'd just think that it's a waste of time to fantasize about leaving. Of course, I can't leave because my family needs me here. Especially now with Robby going away, my dad will need me around. It's just stupid to bring it up when I know that it won't ever be able to happen.

"Why Portland?"

"I read somewhere about a year ago that it's an emerging art capital," I inform him. "And I think that I'd suffocate in New York or Los Angeles. I want to go to a big city where I can do more art that's not just sketches that nobody ever sees."

"Sage doesn't know that about you?"

I shake my head in the negative. "I don't talk about it to anybody. It's stupid. Especially now. I have this dog to take care of and my dad is an absolute mess. He'd drown in his whiskey if he was all by himself. It's a stupid pipe dream but now you know. Are we even now?"

"You can take the dog with you. And your dad isn't your responsibility. It's his life, you shouldn't ruin yours just because you think that he needs you," Dex tells me. "You could really make it to Portland if you wanted to."

"Yeah," I sigh, deciding that maybe it's time that I go back home now. This conversation went in many different weird directions and it was exhausting so I'm ready to just get out of here and maybe take a nap. "And you could really let Amber off of this leash that you have her on if you wanted to. Things that we can do, things that we should do, and things that we will do are all very different things."

"Okay, you have a point there," He concedes, looking just as shocked as I feel that I actually just said that to him.

Once I get Zero clipped back on his leash and make sure that the bag is packed up, I stand up from the grass. "I'll see you around, Olly."

My body still feels like it's burning up, on fire from his earlier compliment and I don't feel completely right again until I'm all the way out of the park and halfway home.