It takes me eight hours to finish the mural in the preschool. Javier helps me as much as he possibly can by bringing me food and motivation. He paints some simple things that he definitely can't mess up, but I do mostly all of it by myself. It's almost one o'clock in the morning when I eventually finish the entire mural. I'm exhausted and covered in paint, hoping that it looks good. After staring at the wall for so long, I'm afraid that I'm going delirious, but I think that it turned out well.

"It looks finished," Javier says with a yawn. "Let's clean up and get out of here."

"I could shade the apples some more," I notice, going for the brush with the red paint.

"Yaz, no," He intercepts me and doesn't let me get the brush. "It looks great. You look like you're about to pass out. You can retouch it later if you want."

I am really tired, so I just listen to him and stop painting for tonight. Hopefully, Amber won't notice the badly shaded apples on the trees when she comes in the next time that she's volunteering. And hopefully, it'll be enough to at least convince her to talk to me again.

He helps me wash all of the brushes and put everything back in the art room before he drives me back to my house. "Thank you for helping me tonight. I had a lot of fun," I admit to him as he's driving through the night. More at the beginning when I had more energy, we did have a really good time. We had time to talk, we played around with the paint, and just spent some time the two of us.

Just a few days ago, that would have freaked me out, but I feel really comfortable with Javier now. Even though I've got a streak of green paint on my cheek things to a previous paint war.

"I had a lot of fun too. I'm glad that you got it done. I think that Amber will really appreciate it."

"I hope so."

"You're a good friend, Yaz," He informs me. "She'll see that."

I don't think that I'm that great of a friend, especially not to Amber. I try to be, but for our entire friendship, I've known that her boyfriend was cheating on her and it took me this long to say something. I don't want to seem like I'm fishing for compliments or anything, so I don't disagree with him.

I'm so tired that the ride to my house is pretty much quiet and when he pulls into my driveway, I offer him a smile and say, "Thanks for the ride."

"No problem. Let me know how this goes over with Amber," He tells me. Before I get out of the car, Javier wraps his hand around my arm to keep me in place and then leans over and kisses my cheek. "Also, you look ridiculous with this paint on your face."

"We both know that that was your fault," I defend myself. "And you've got paint all over your shirt too, so you look just as ridiculous as me."

"That's not how I remember it," He says jokingly.

I smile at him and then kiss his cheek like he did mine. "Goodnight, Javi."

"Goodnight."

I wave goodbye to him after I get out of the car and shut the door, heading inside to get to bed. I've been painting for the past eight hours so my entire body is sore, starting with my headache and going all the way down to my aching knees from squatting and stretching so often to get all of the corners and edges of the wall.

It was worth it though, if it gets Amber to talk to me again so that I can apologize in person. I don't know how I'll explain why I did what I did but I know that I have to try. I really enjoyed being her friend and I don't want to mess that up just because I was temporarily blinded by Dex's blue eyes.

Once I'm in my room, I take off my pants and fall into bed. I'll shower in the morning but I'm too tired right now to do anything. I also have to call Sage tomorrow, because I didn't have time today to see how Amber is doing and to tell her about what's going on with Javier.

Actually, I think that I have to figure out what's going on with Javier before I start telling other people. We slept together last night, and we spent a great deal of time together today and had a pretty great time, but we never talked about what our relationship is. I should hold off on telling Sage until I know for sure what we are. I'm not sure how to have that conversation though, so maybe it would help to tell Sage first so that I can ask for her advice.

I don't know what I'm going to do, but I do know that right now, I have to sleep.

Without worrying about what tomorrow holds for me, I get to sleep pretty quickly.

Because I got to sleep so late, I wake up pretty late as well. If it weren't for Zero waking me up by licking my face and nudging me with his cold nose, I probably would have slept even later.

I feed him in the living room and then hurry into the shower so that I can walk him to the park. I hope that Dex doesn't show up there since he knows that that's where I walk my dog, but it's Zero's favorite place to go and he has a lot of energy today.

Cautiously, I walk with my large and excited dog to the park. I sit at my regular tree and I throw the Frisbee for Zero to run and retrieve like he loves to do. Once I'm settled in, I get my phone out to call Sage. I haven't talked to her since the truth came out about Dex, and I should tell her about what's happening with Javier.

I know that I wanted to talk to Javier first to define our relationship, but I'm anxious to tell Sage. Maybe she'll be able to help me figure out how I should ask Javier what we are to each other. She's always been pretty good at dealing with boys anyway.

When she answers the phone, she is quick about it. "Hey, I was just about to call you."

"Hi. How's Amber?"

"A total mess," She admits. "She just went to work at the preschool. What the hell is going on?"

"I saw Dex with that other girl a while ago," I admit to her. "But he asked me not to say anything, and it was before I really knew Amber. I know that I should have said something earlier, I was trying to protect the wrong people. I feel really bad."

"She'll be okay," Sage promises. Zero brings the Frisbee back and I throw it for him again. "Just give her some space for a while and she'll come around."

"I hope so. Anyway, I have something else to talk to you about," I tell her slowly. "I know that you've already been Amber's support system for more than 24 hours now, but you're the only person that I can tell this to."

"Okay, sure. I'm always here for you, Yaz. What's up?" She doesn't seem fazed at all, which I appreciate. I don't know how she does it though, I'm terrible at being the emotional punching bag even for just one person. Now with Amber going through her breakup and me starting some vague relationship with Javier, Sage is there for both of us. I'd be so exhausted.

"I'm having some boy trouble. Well, no. It's not trouble, really, I just need some advice," I say, hesitantly waiting for her reaction.

There's a long pause as she thinks it over before she says, "I'm sorry, am I talking to the right person? This is Yasmin Clarke, right?"

"Yes, Sage, it's me," I confirm with a long sigh. "I don't know what to do."

"Okay, just tell me what's going on, so that I can give you the advice that you need," She suggests.

"I was feeling guilty about what happened with Amber, and how I kept this secret from her and everything. So, I went over to Javier's to get my mind off of everything," I tell her the story. "He invited me over and we played video games. I had dinner with his mom."

"Well, that all sounds nice," Sage tells me. I throw the Frisbee again for my dog and he bounces away to chase it. "That all sounds like stuff that friends do too. If you like him, you should do something romantic."

"Oh, you mean like sleep with him? Because I did that too," I quickly admit it like ripping a band-aid off of a wound. Quickly, so that the pain ends as fast as possible. I brace myself for her reaction, because I have absolutely no idea what it's going to be.

On the other end of the phone, I hear a loud gasp and then some crashing sounds. "Sorry. I dropped my phone," Sage says into the phone. "Do you mean like, you spent the night and he slept on the couch while you took the bed? Or you fell asleep watching movies or something?"

"You know what I mean, I'm not going to say it again," I mumble, anxiously pulling grass out of the ground through my fingers. "I've had some revelations lately, and I like him. The thing is that after it happened, we spent almost all of yesterday together and we had a good time, I think. But there was nothing romantic going on. Like, we didn't kiss or touch that much or anything. So, I guess what I need help with is figuring out what our relationship is."

"Sure, that's understandable. Before we address that issue though, I'm going to need more details," She warns me.

"I figured. You can ask me one question every twelve hours. Let's space them out, so that I don't get overwhelmed all at once," I suggest.

"Twelve hours?" She asks me incredulously. "Okay, well let me think for a minute then."

"Take your time."

Zero gets distracted by a stick that he decides to chew on a few feet away from where I'm sitting. I watch him chew on the stick while Sage thinks of her question. "Alright. I've got it. How are you feeling?"

"Physically, I'm fine. It hurt a little bit at first, but it didn't last. Emotionally, I am also fine. I guess that once I accepted that everybody has their flaws, I was able to start accepting my own. I like Javier, but I don't love him. So, even if he wants to keep things casual, I think that I'm okay with that. I'd rather go slow than rush into things and it end up like the Dex and Amber situation," I try to explain to her.

"Okay, well even you just liking a guy is a really big deal," She advises me. "So, even if you don't want to admit it, Javier is special. As for defining your relationship, you just need to ask him what he wants the next time that you see him. And then tell him what you want, and be honest. Don't tell him what you think that he wants to hear."

"I just start talking about it?" I question her skeptically. "Sage, I know that I'm coming out of my shell or whatever but I'm still me. I can't just start talking about how I feel."

"You have to try. If you want your relationship with Javier to really have a chance, you have to be honest with him. Real relationships are always built on trust," She says. Zero brings the stick back to me and I take it out of his slobbery mouth to throw it for him. "There are other methods, like scheming and playing games, but that's not you. That's me. And it's so much more exhausting than just being honest."

"So, I should just call him. And say what?"

"Do you want me to write you a word for word script? Yaz, come on, you can do this," She encourages me.

"A script would help."

"Talking to a boy that you like is no different than talking to anybody else," She tells me. "So, just call him. Ask him how he wants to define the relationship. Ask him whatever questions that you want to ask him. Just, whatever you want to say to him. Say it. It's the easiest way."

"That doesn't sound easy," I mumble, leaning my head against the tree behind me.

"Better than bottling everything up," She adds. "I am going to come over later, and we'll really talk about this. In the meantime, call Javier. After staying with Amber since this all went down, I need a nap and I need to prepare my next question that I will have ready in exactly twelve hours."

"Thanks for your help, Sage. I'll talk to you later," I say into the phone. It could help if I gave myself some liquid courage. I'm always my most brave and honest self when I'm drunk. I know that I can't do that though. If I want this to work out with Javier, I can't just be drunk for our entire relationship.

After my phone call with Sage, I stay in the park for a little while longer with Zero until I wear him out. I then basically have to drag my large dog back home because he's so exhausted. In the house, he takes a few gulps of water from his dog bowl in the kitchen and then plops himself down on the couch and goes to sleep.

I go into my room and take down all of the drawings that I have taped on my wall of Dex and I hide them in a drawer of my desk. I don't want to see them, but they're really well done and I don't want to throw them away.

I clean my room after that, even though it doesn't need much cleaning. I just did my laundry a few days ago, and I took the trash out too. I make my bed and vacuum the floors to stall my phone call with Javier. I reorganize my charcoals and then check to see if Zero is ready for another walk. He's not.

Then, I go to more extreme measures to avoid calling Javier. I can't do it, but I can't stop thinking about it either. I know that he likes me, but does he like me enough to be exclusive? Or does he like me only enough to want to sleep with me? Then again, I basically already asked him that when we were at the bar, and he said that he liked all of me. He's already told me how he feels, I'm just overcomplicating things.

I may have gotten a surge of self-confidence that was strong enough to let myself get naked with him, but it did not give me all of the confidence in the world. I'm still somehow convincing myself that he doesn't really like me. Even after we slept together, and spent all of last night working on the mural together. There's just enough self-doubt nagging in my mind that's stopping me from picking up the phone.

All day, I spend like this. Going back and forth between whether I should call him or not, and what exactly I should say. Sage doesn't show up, so I guess that her nap turned into an all day thing. Which is fine because I shouldn't need her for this. I should be able to do this all on my own.

I watch movies, go on some walks, try to draw a bit, and by the time that I know it, it's eleven o'clock at night and I didn't make the call.

I'm watching the last bit of Legally Blonde in the living room with Zero laying his head on my lap to sleep when there's a knock on my door.

Zero suddenly wakes up and starts barking at the door. Slowly, I get off of the couch and stretch. It's kind of early for my dad to be home since he goes out to the bars until about two in the morning after work. I open the door to see Dex standing on my front porch. Of course.

"What do you want?" I ask him through the screen door.

"I know that you don't want to talk to me," He sighs and then he holds up a manila folder. "But you need to hear me out."

I'm curious now, so I open up the door and let him come in. I have to tell Zero to calm down because he still hates Dex after seeing him in the bushes with Gabby. I should have taken Zero's lead, and started hating him that day too.

I'm wearing sweats and a tank top with my light hair up in a bun on my head to keep it out of my face. I've been at home with nobody else around, and it shows in my appearance. I'm not trying to impress Dex anymore though, so it doesn't bother me.

"I don't know how you're right about everything, but you are," Dex mutters quickly. "And I'm sorry about everything that's happened. Really, I am."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I inform him in a slow and confused voice. "And it's late."

"About Gabby," He starts to elaborate and then runs his fingers through his tousled hair. "She doesn't care about me like I want her to. She was just using me, and I was letting her."

"Yeah. You came over here to tell me that?"

"Well, I'm not choosing her anymore," He continues. "I chose her over everything, and everybody, but not anymore. I'm choosing you."

He then hands me the folder. Slowly, I open it up and read the first file inside. I have no idea what any of it means. "What is this?" I ask him in confusion.

"Gabby told me things. Her family is very pretentious and success driven," He begins to explain to me and then takes a seat on the edge of my couch. "When she wasn't doing so well in law school, she started to cut corners. There are files in that folder that prove that she's been bribing witnesses in your brother's case. I don't think that it's enough to get the charges dropped, but it'll force a mistrial. He'll either get another chance to settle, or they'll retry him."

"This would get Gabby fired. And probably shunned by her family," I inform him, not even trying to hide my surprise that he's going against his precious Gabby. He's destroyed everything just to sleep with her, and now he's willing to absolutely destroy her.

"I know that," He confirms and then stands back up from the couch, walking toward me. "She doesn't care about me, why should I care about her? Just give that to Robby's lawyer and he should be able to take it from there."

"Are you doing this all to get Amber back? Because she's not talking to me, I won't be able to get the message to her," I warn him, putting the folder on the TV stand so that I won't lose them.

"No," He shakes his head at me. Now that he's messed up his hair as much as it can possibly be messed up, he starts to rub his neck. His fingers rub along his anchor tattoo and his wide blue eyes are staring right at me. "I saw all of those drawings that you have of me in your room."

"I already told you that I-"

"I choose you," He stops me. "Yasmin, I want to be with you."

I blink at him a few times, trying to figure out what to do or say... or what to think. My mind just goes completely blank after he tells me that, but I know that I need to do something. Say something. Think something.

This sort of stuff happens to Sage, and I watch on the sidelines, I dry her tears when things go wrong. I'm a benchwarmer in the game of love, not a player. And yet, I've gotten myself to forget about Dex and move on to Javier, just for Dex to come back and change his mind. This sort of thing just never happens to me. I've never even had one guy interested in me, but now there's two?

I have no idea what to do here.

When Dex is done with waiting for me to think of something, he decides to take matters into his own hands. He steps closer to me, and closer. Until he's so close that he could kiss me. And then he does.

His lips quickly attach to mine and I'm still stunned. It's like I'm having an out of body experience, like none of this is actually happening to me, but to somebody else as I watch. I'm always watching it happen to other people.

Before I can react, I hear the screen door of my house start creaking as it opens and then a girlish gasp. I recognize that gasp and I feel too mortified to look, but I know that I have to.

Amber is standing at the door of my living room. And to add to my mortification, Javier is standing there with her. This isn't happening to me, nothing ever happens to me. Nothing like this, at least. I'm just watching, I'm a watcher.

"What the hell," She mutters, staring at both of us. I've taken a step away from Dex to make it clear that the kiss wasn't my idea, but I don't say anything. I can't. My throat has closed up on me to the point that it's getting hard to breathe.

And to make things worse, my living room continues to crowd with people.

Before anybody makes another sound in the room, Sage barges through the front door and without really assessing the situation, she shouts, "How big is his penis?!"

I'm on the sidelines, watching this happen to somebody else. But I can tell, all the way from the sidelines, that the girl that all of this is happening to is totally fucking screwed.